Author: TheCherry23000

Reviewer: adretaRyder

Genre: Action

I usually ignore story details like title, cover and blurb, mostly because I prefer to focus on the content of the story, since these items are usually good enough for most people. In your case, they are a problem.

The first step to attracting a random reader would be a catchy title and an attention grabbing blurb. Your cover is not a cover, your title seems to be a random addition of words and your blurb is the same. The lack of punctuation and poor grammar makes it worse, and to be realistic most readers are never going to click past that point.

Even when they do, the grammar issues continue into the content of the story and make it barely readable at best. Until you set aside some time to edit the content of your story before publishing it, chances are high no reader is going to give your story any time either. Not when there's other authors out there putting in that effort to provide a good reading experience for their audience. A tool like Grammarly or Pro writing aid would simplify this task.

There's no tense consistency and the story is filled with a ton of narration rather than showing readers the story through actions or dialogue. No time was taken to separate paragraphs, and the chapters also stretch far longer than average.

Content wise, you seem to have several wild ideas in your mind, which is fine, all writers do. The next step would be breaking those down into some coherent storyline and trying to write it in an orderly manner. You haven't taken this step yet. Because of that, your story is very difficult to make sense of.

I'll give your story one out of five stars because it's the barest of first drafts and from the cover, blurb, title, formatting, editing, it doesn't seem like you've put much effort into presenting your idea in a way that is readable.

Note, this isn't saying your story is bad. It's saying you might have the best ideas in the world but if you can't present them, then it doesn't matter.