Author: __carino__

Cover: I am sorry to tell you, but I strongly dislike your cover. I am not a graphic designer so please don't take my words to heart. This is simply my personal opinion. The way the girl's face with the trees, unreadable words, a part of the actual title not readable. To be honest, its not the fact that nothing is blending well together, its the fact that its weirdly dark, dull, and I can't even read the words. But, as much as I've said all these things I dislike, there was a part of it that I did  like. I enjoyed the girl standing in front of the building with a fierceness about her. This led me to believe that I was going to have a strong, independent, female MC. As always, I suggest going to a graphic designer/shop.

Title(2/5): The whole 'Game' part of your title is actually quite cliche. When searched up, titles like these come up(these are actual books): A game of love, a game of hate, The Game of Love, Let's Play A Game, The Game of Temptation and so on. By the way, I am not trying to judge these authors. I am simply giving you the titles of their books as an example to show you why yours is cliche. I suggest using a title generator. Don't actually pick a title for there and stamp it on your book though. Use it to stir up some ideas in your head to help you create an original title fit for your book. 

Blurb(5/10): I have learned that having a too long blurb is a problem. Having a too short blurb is a problem. And neither of those is your problem. What your problem is, is the fact that your blurb is riddled with questions. While questions help interest your reader in the book, too many will turn them away. Also, remember that when having that many questions, readers who still decide to read your book will expect answers to them. 

Mistake#1: This is the story of a young girl of age 23, Elly Wilson who wakes up in a hospital bed with nobody on her side...,all alone. 

Correction#1: This is the story of a young girl aged 23. Elly Wilson wakes up in a hospital bed with nobody at her side. (This is short and straight to the point while keeping the mystery of 'Why is there nobody at her side when she wakes up?')

For other mistakes, avoid putting a comma after the ellipsis(three dots: ...).

Spelling/Grammar(12/15): Since you already wrote in your author's note that English wasn't your first language and I should expect some grammatical errors, but I was honestly astounded. Your vocabulary is amazing! (Speaking of vocabulary, I should probably find some synonyms for amazing...) Either way, I loved the fact that you didn't stick with the same old words all the time. But, I won't lie, while I was reading, as much as I loved the big words remember to add context clues. Once again, Language Arts teachers are right. Some of those words, I had no idea what they meant and I had to search up the definiton. Adding other words with a similar meaning and a subtle explanation will help people understand better. 

Creativity/Originality(15/20): I was honestly unsure how to grade you on this. On one hand, we have this fierce revengeful female MC aka Elly who actually keeps this up and doesn't become a love sick fool in .3 seconds of meeting Perth. On the other hand, Perth is the rich male MC and love interest and Augswar is the rich guy who murdered her parents. Perth and Augswar make it somewhat cliche but Perth isn't a jerk so it decreases the clicheness. So, I think I'll stick with this. It has a cliche bit of it but for the most part its creative.

Plot(16/25): The plot seemed a bit off. We have her coming back to what seems to be her hometown and she goes to this business for aerospace and engineering. Then Perth comes in and decides to help her with no actual explanation. And, this was where I was confused. You said that you were writing in first person and if so, why did you include Perth's POV? You typically don't do that. Maybe, what you could do to maintain the first person aspect is: Chapter 1 in Elly's POV, Chapter 2 in Perth's POV, Chapter 3 in Elly's POV, and so forth and in their POVs its written in first person. That way you keep first person while making it confusing. 

Reader Enjoyment(16/25): In Chapter 1, around the second paragraph, I felt as though a lot of people could relate to this and I'm happy you wrote it in that sense whether intentional or not. (Excuse me as I get a little serious.) A lot of people in this world do go through something that changes them. This ignites another part of them that had been hidden or non-existent, but when the good part of them is killed off by whatever circumstances they went through, the bad part arises as a protector. I kept staring at the italicized parts of the chapters and it took me a bit to realize that it was actually dialogue. Maybe try stating it in your author's note so other readers aren't confused.

Total: 66/100

[If you felt this review was too unfair or harsh, please message me.]