Emma Gordon

Someone should really decorate these holding cells. She wasn't expecting a celebrity holding cell because she was a part of the detective force, but at least one pillow mint might have been nice. Again, Emma sat on her hands to stop them from shaking but they hardly stilled.

What worried Emma wasn't her fate though, it was the fact she couldn't find out what really happened to Charlie from here. Not with this one bed, one bathroom apartment four by four that she'd accidentally upgraded to after trying to scratch out her past.

To be completely honest, it did occur to her maybe her husband committed suicide.

Some huge part of Emma wanted to rationalize his death but she knew she couldn't. Someone killed him. It wouldn't be easier to absorb the shame that he jumped out of that high rise. None of this was ever supposed to be easy.

Emma tried to think of anything to keep her strong. Charlie's death weakened her spirit even more so. All she could think of was how Bash tried to stand up to Hale. Emma wished he'd fought harder but she understood why he couldn't. It was the Captain after all.

The worst part of all this is that she was guilty. She disposed of that goddamn car because she couldn't stand to see it parked outside their penthouse apartment anymore. Emma was less angry about the affair than she was ashamed Charlie had to look elsewhere for love than her.

She was the wife. As all the television shows pointed out to her lately, she was supposed to want kids and bring casseroles over to new neighbors. When she took a pregnancy test and showed it to Charlie last Thursday, Emma thought that was it. Maybe she was finally a worthy wife.

Well, that was all nullified by the doctor giving her the bad news and then Charlie's death.

Emma didn't know what box to put these feelings in. Relieved? Remorseful? How about still missing the man who broke your heart in a million pieces? Yeah, those feelings didn't even make it into separate boxes, they just entered the void that was now her heart.

That sounded dramatic and in most ways this whole thing was some high school drama that graduated to the adult world. My best friend stole my boyfriend, or right now dead husband. No, Emma threaded her hands through her curly brown tresses, this was far more complicated.

Emma waited for the emerald tears to crack the clouds of her water-proof makeup.

But before she could wear away at the numbness she felt, the cell opened and a guard told her that her lawyer wanted to meet her. "What lawyer? Do you mean public defender?"

The guard shook his head no and then returned to a stoic stone statue of a man who was leading her to a small room for visitors. Emma had thought it was worse waiting in that holding cell, but in this open room her gut chewed her resilience and spat it back out through a straw.

After a few moments a woman with jet black hair and hazel eyes cradled a suspicious air of resentment and irritability. She hesitated to place down her cherry purse and quickly rummaged through it to find a sanitizer to cleanse the gray table. Emma dawned a phantom of a smile.

Emma didn't want to offer pleasantries to this obviously overbearing warhorse of a woman.

She knew this lawyer's type just by the way she sat down. She obviously had won many cases but likely not of this nature. She's driven, probably thinks she's a feminist icon instead of a annoying lawyer with less persuasion skills than a Legally Blonde reboot with raven hair.

Legally Raven cleared her throat. "Before I tell you that I don't want to do this...you need to know my brother sent me to help you. None of this was ever...and will ever be of my accord."

Emma's brows narrowed. "Understood...but who's your brother?"

Legally Raven pushed her hair back and answered. "Sebastian Scott, you know your little feud buddy. I swear your 'Batman and Joker' thing has me worried for his health, but at least he is still talking. There was a long time where he wasn't and this is definitely better."

Emma's straight posture scrunched up in uncertainty. "Bash? He did this?"

Legally Raven sucked in a breath. "Wow, you completed the puzzle. I thought I was going to have to give you another vowel, Killer."

Emma fists clenched, yeah this was definitely Bash's sister. "Hey, you can't say that. Innocent until proven guilty, Legally Raven. Or did you go to community college for your degree? Maybe I should have opted for that public defender. He wouldn't be related to Bash at least."

Legally Raven sighed. "You never know...but look we both need this to work out so...my name is Laura Scott and I will be defending through the course of your trial. Your bail is set at  half a million. 'Course you had to 'kill' the girl who's daddy has big pockets to put you away."

Emma clicked her tongue. "Yeah, Marilynn has always been loaded. It surprised me that she didn't bleed Benjamin Franklins. But ask me anything, I know all the clients say 'I'm innocent, no really I am' but I won't lie to you, I tried to cover up something Charlie did and it backfired."

"Okay, let's try...did you kill Marilynn Sullivan?"

Emma glanced out the window trying to detract the vexation from her answer. "No, but I did try to get rid of her car. Who knew junkyard dogs are K-9 homicide detectives? I certainly didn't, otherwise I would have let her ruby red convertible cruise off a bridge until she really flew."

Laura crucified her chances by palming her forehead. "So, Marilynn and your husband huh?"

Emma laughed bitterly. "How'd you guess, I didn't give you a vowel?"

"I've been doing this long enough the broken heart was written on your face. Okay, we might have a chance. Just keep your death threat wishes of the recently deceased to a minimum and I think we'll be fine...or not."

Emma gave a sigh of relief but shortly came up for air. "Hey...can you get a message to somebody for me, Legally Raven?"

Laura hesitated. "One, that is a terrible nickname...two...if we're going for old movie references then no I won't tell someone what the weather's like in Sing Sing, Holly Golightly."

Emma reached for arm to stop her from leaving. With intense eyes she forced Laura to wait. Inwardly, Laura groaned. "Why do people keep pulling me into their drama," she mumbled.

"Just...I need to speak to Tommy Sullivan. He needs to know I couldn't and wouldn't do this to Marilynn. She was my best friend once and in my heart of hearts she still is even now. I know what the evidence looks like but I never wanted revenge, I just wanted to stop being alone."

Laura blinked fast like she just understood something and then she nodded. "Fine."

"Wait," Emma shouted. "What was that?"

Laura turned back. Slowly she unfurled her deepest fears in the form of an odd statement. "I get it now. Bash doesn't care about anyone, but you're the only one who's ever been as alone as him. He needed somebody else he could carry home, and that's you now."

Emma scoffed. "What does that mean?"

"It means well..." Laura sought for words to pick out of the skyfall like the ashes of conversation etiquette that she'd forgone so long ago. " A husband doesn't exactly go ker-plop onto the pavement for no reason. I know you think it's homicide but have you seen you?"

Emma crossed her arms. "Everytime I look in the mirror, thanks. But do you really want to know why my husband's death was a homicide?"

Laura leveled with her. "Okay, tell me how a square peg doesn't fit in a round hole."

Emma took a deep breath in. "I never told anyone this...but Marilynn didn't buzz me in the office that afternoon. When I arrived Tony opened the door and let me in, he said that Charlie was still in his meeting and it was getting heated. I tried checking the ledger but..."

Laura inched closer as Emma's voice became smaller and quieter. "The ledger was missing and when I saw Charlie...down there...I understood all too well. Whoever was in that meeting with him was the last person to see him besides dead Marilynn Monroe who can't tell me anything."

Laura paced around the words but she had none.

Still weary about how it sounded, Emma began again. "You know murder isn't just a paycheck for me. Every death I feel personally, Bash may not feel that, but I do. I would never kill my husband. I did cover up his affair but not because I was angry, it was because I was ashamed."

Laura tilted her head back in wonder. "Ashamed of what? He's the one who cheated, if anything I would be mad as hell, so that begs the question, why aren't you?"

Emma changed the subject and rolled the question off her slippery mind. "You know I asked Marilynn who he was meeting over and over and we got into an argument. That's why my prints were all over her, but none of that meant anything because she died with that secret."

Laura persisted. "Hey, why are you blaming yourself? This isn't about Marilynn anymore."

"Because," Emma screamed through her gritted teeth. "I wasn't enough and I was coming there with the food as a bribe so I could disappoint him even further. We weren't pregnant. The other day he'd bought a crib as if that could save our marriage. But even then...I failed him."

Laura's hands fumbled through her own hair in remorse. "I know that feeling, Gordon."

Emma's mouth doubled over in confusion. "Why–"

Laura's high heels echoed away from Emma in a dissociation of the parameters that pain allowed. The guard led her back to her cell and once again she was numbed. This all felt like she was chugging antihistamine and the paralysis wasn't even a surprise at the moment.

Everything she said made her question Bash even more.

But somehow it now made more sense than it had before. Bash didn't care about her. He wasn't doing this to be kind. He saw a loneliness in her that Emma couldn't hide from behind the shadow of her "loving husband" anymore.

It sounded so pathetic that she hid in the ruins of her failing marriage but she did it.

At first it was easy because they didn't fight, they just didn't move forward. But the worst thing was when he looked at her with those damned expectant eyes. In a way it was nice that he didn't want them to become an old bitter married couple, but after a while she recognized what it was.

He was manipulating her to feel guilty for her own shortcomings. It wasn't encouragement to do better, it was patronizing. Every little thing in her life was a DIY project. He didn't want her, he wanted the flawless problemless version of herself that she got tired of selling five years in.

But then he got the newer model, his best-friend's wife.

He "coveted thy neighbor's goods" by sleeping with Marilynn in their bed, on their clean sheets. Then, Marilynn lost her earring and Emma found it. They did their best to try and apologize but that was half their battle. Emma and Tommy had to believe and forgive them.

Tommy did but Emma didn't know if she ever could. So she felt like a failure for about a month leading up to Charlie's death. Emma didn't fight for Charlie, she did the same thing he did, she gave up on their marriage. But his death told her something she didn't want to hear anymore.

She still loved him.

Lost in her thoughts, Emma only swam to the surface of her tears when the guard came back and released the cuffs that jangled from her wrists like a reminder of her actions. Emma narrowed her eyes again and the guard explained. "Whoever posted your bail left this note."

He handed it to her and she read it out loud with her shaky tears rattling her more than the cuffs.
Emma's voice was hollow and disembodied. "Walk away from this, Detective Gordon."