AN: I know you guys are expecting smut and there is but I'd like you to know it's not gonna be the same smut you usually see in fanfics. It's a comedy so it'll be weird and different plus I liked to throw shade. My goal is to have you laughing and turned on at the same time so let's see how that works out!

Harry flipped the coin as I called heads, letting the quarter flip in the air before it fell on the rug between us as we both leaned in anxiously.

"What up! It's heads! I'm on top tonight!" I celebrated, bringing my arms in the air letting out a "woo-hoo" as Harry let out a groan of frustration, a smile still on his face while he leaned back against the side of the couch on the soft rug.

"You better give me a good ride then yeah?" Harry smirked, unzipping his jeans and kicking off his pants as I let out a scoff and rolled my eyes at him.

"So cocky for a virgin." I teased before I let the shirt that covered my chest go, tossing the fabric to the side as Harry flushed, his smirk still in tact as he brought up his hand, a foiled condom in between his pointer finger and middle finger as I went over to him.

"Get it, cocky, get it." I nudged him and he rolled his eyes before reaching out and pinching my nipple, making me let out a yelp of surprise before I reached out and pinched his nipples too until he dropped the condom and we were slapping at eachother's hands trying to pinch eachother.

"They're fucking sensitive." Harry snapped, trying to hold back his laugh as he grabbed my wrists to hold me still as I positioned myself between his legs, leaning in and attaching my lips onto his as I placed my hand over his warm broad chest, gently pushing him down further into the couch pillows on the floor.

"Mine are too." I pointed out as he dropped his hands from my wrists and cupped my chest, his touch gentle as he ran the pad of his thumb over one of my nipples as he kissed my cheek.

"I'm sorry." He apologized, pulling me closer to straddle him as he lowered his head to brush his lips against my breasts and then slowly trailing it up my neck making me suck in a breath at the sensation.

I only smiled at him, dragging my hands lightly over the warm skin of his chest, down to his toned stomach before finally palming his hard on through his boxers, causing Harry's eyes to flutter close as he brought his head back, a soft groan leaving his lips as he bucked his hips up into my hand.

"Natalie..." He breathed as I left open mouthed kisses over his neck, continuing to rub him slowly, loving the way he was practically moaning my name with his voice deep and husky as he gripped onto my waist.

I then began to hum a song in my head that reminded me of this situation, my lips still trailing down his skin as my heart raced when I realized just how big Harry really was under my palm.

My groping was suddenly stopped when Harry reached out and grabbed my wrist, his other hand taking a fist full of my hair before he gently tugged me back, making me dettach my lips from his neck as his eyes snapped open while he glared at me.

"You better not be humming the song I think you're humming..." Harry threatened in a low tone, his darkened green eyes flickering down to my lips as he continued to hold my hair in his grasp, my whole body shuddering and tingling in anticipation as I smirked.

"Like a virgin..." I sang out as Harry let me go and rolled his eyes, an annoyed yet playful smile on his face as I moved my hands back to his chest to trail his tattoos.

"I hate you."

"Touched for the very first time." I continued to sing, retrieving the packaged condom from the floor and dangling it in front of him as I swayed from side to side on his lap while he smiled at me.

"Like a virgin... when your heart beats-" My singing was cut off short when Harry grabbed the small foil out of my hand, ripping it open with his teeth as I backed off him when he lifted his hips off the floor to take his boxers off.

Talk about pop goes the fucking weasel.

I was literally speechless at Harry's exposed length, standing hard and proud against his stomach as I silently prayed.

"You know, this isn't even the first time I've seen you fully naked but damn." I breathed, as Harry let out a chuckle, rolling the condom down onto his long thick member as I tried not to hypervenilate.

Boy looked fine.

"C'mere." Harry rasped out, gesturing me to come forward as I crawled on top of him, his erection brushing against the inside of my thigh causing the both of us to stiffen a bit as he placed his large hands over my waist before he slowly trailed them down to the waist band of my black boy shorts.

"Can you, can you pinch me?" Harry swallowed, his voice deep and breathless as I traced my fingers over his collar bones and raised my brow at him.

"Is this some kind of pain kink?" I quirked making Harry roll his eyes before he reached out and tucked a strand of my dark hair behind my ear while his other hand slipped into the front of my boy shorts causing me to let out a slight squeak when I felt the pad of his warm fingers touch me down there.

I arched my back, desperate for more pressure as Harry continued to run his long fingers along my folds, teasing me as I moaned for him to do something, anything while he watched me with hooded eyes.

"I was asking you to pinch me because I tend to have these constant fantasies about you," Harry brought his head up, rubbing my clit causing my legs to shake as his lips brushed against the side of my ear.

"Fantasies, even dreams of having you like this, moaning my name, pleasuring you like this." Harry rasped in my ear, finally slipping one of his fingers inside of my heat as I let out a cry of pleasure, clutching at his shoulders as he began to pump his digit in and out of me, the muscles in his arms contracting as he fingered me while I buried my face into the crook of his neck.

"Harry..." I breathed out, moving my hips, trying to ride his hand as he chuckled at my reaction before he added another finger.

"Another one." Harry quirked, dropping his British accent as he mimicked Dj Khalef's voice while he continued to pump his fingers in and out of me.

"Oh my god..." I groaned in his neck, half in exasperation at his joke and half in pure pleasure as a burning sensation began to build in the pit of my stomach making him laugh.

I jumped slightly when I felt his thumb start to rub my clit while he continued to draw his fingers in and out making me grab his wrist, taking his hand away before I slipped my boy shorts off as he blinked at me in surprise.

"Did I- did I hurt you?" Harry gulped, his cheeks flushing as I placed my hand over his shoulders and hovered over his hard on.

"No. I need to take you right here, right now." I growled out, losing my control as I brought my lips down to his in a needy passionate kiss, making him groan into my mouth as I felt the tip of his length brush against my crotch making the both of us tense in anticipation.

"You're sure about this right? I need you to say it Harry." I told him, breaking away from his lips as I watched him, his face flushed and his green eyes dark with lust as he gripped my waist.

I was going to take this man's virginity but only if he wanted me to, I needed his consent first, I needed to know that he was one hundred percent positive and that he wanted this just as much as I did.

"Yes Nat. I want you." Harry said, his eyes never leaving mine as I let out a breath of relief, brushing a strand of his brown hair away from his face before I finally lowered myself down onto him.

I felt him fill me up completely, my walls stretching as our breathings became labored while I brought my head back at the feeling of him inside me.

"Holy shit dude, you're so, so freakin big. Jeez, good lord." I choked, blinking up at the ceiling trying to concentrate as Harry let out a soft groan.

"Um... Nat..."

"What? What?" I breathed, trying to adjust myself on him as I screwed my eyes shut, finally getting used to his large size as I arched my back.

"Only the tip is in..."

"Are you fucking kidding me!" I couldn't help but squeak out as I snapped my head down realizing he was right.

We both let out a breathy chuckles before I my grip on his shoulders tightened and I lowered myself down all the way this time, trying to hold back a scream of pain and pleasure as Harry let out a low groan, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me closer while he buried his face in the crook of my neck, kissing my hot skin.

"God you feel so much better than my fist." He breathed and I tried to laugh as I ever so slowly rotated my hips against his while he held me close to him, my whole body tingling and my skin aflame with need.

"I try." I joked, raising myself a bit before slowly going back down causing the both of us to moan in unison at the sensation.

"I need, I need a distraction." I mumbled, biting my lip and panting as I sent Harry a look, silently begging for him to kiss me or even rub me while I tried to adjust to his size.

"Right, a distraction- oh fuck." Harry groaned out, throwing his head back as his face contorted in pleasure when I began to set a rhythm for the both of us, raising my hips slightly before going down and taking him in as I moaned out his name.

"Knock knock."

I froze my actions, blinking down at him as a dazed smile formed over my face.

"What?" I laughed in disbelief, still breathing heavily before Harry's grip on my waist tightened, his fingers digging into my skin in the best way as he raised me up before he brought his hips up from the floor and thrusted into me making me let out a cry of ecstacy, clutching onto his hair as he ran his tongue up my neck.

"You're supposed to say, who's. There." Harry rasped out, his voice breathless and deep as he continued to raise his hips up, thrusting his length into me as he held me in place above him while I tried to desperately catch my breath.

"Shit okay, who's there?" I squeaked out, screwing my eyes shut, my mouth open in satisfaction of him moving inside of me.

"Tofu."

"Tofu who?"

"I'm going tofuck you." Harry said as I placed my hands over his sweaty chest and snorted.

"That was so bad!" I laughed, my laughter immediatly dying on my lips when Harry flipped us over so he was on top as he brought my legs around his waist, pounding into me mercilessly as I screamed and arched my back in pleasure.

"You're a good submissive for me baby." Harry breathed out, groaning as my body was pushed up and down with his while I fisted the fabric of the soft plush rug underneath us.

"Submissive." I scoffed out, trying to hold back my moans as I brought myself up, flipping us over again so that way I was on top before I brought my hand down and sucked on the skin of his neck as Harry moaned underneath me.

There we go.

I began to ride him, bringing my hands and tangling my fingers into his hair as he groped my breasts in his large palms, not seeming to mind my new control of his body against mine as I bounced on him before I tugged his hair making our eyes connect while I smirked at his flushed cheeks and slack jaw.

"Who's the submissive now bitch." I whispered in his ear, causing his whole body to tense before he flipped us over with a growl.

We were flipping eachother like pancakes until we began to practically roll ourselves into the fireplace, moaning and cursing at one another as we fought for dominance.

"Oh my god, we're getting too close to the fire! Dude we are literally rolling ourselves into the fire!" I screamed out when I felt the heat of the flames near our bodies as Harry looked up, the both of us screaming at how close we were to the fire.

"Roll back! Roll back!" Harry yelled, hugging me close to his chest as we rolled back into the middle of the carpet, the both of us panting heavily until he was back on top.

We were both laughing, our legs tangled together as Harry brushed a strand of hair off my sweaty face, smiling down at me before leaning down and kissing the tip of my nose.

"We're like Russian acrobatics having sex." I choked out, letting out a breathless laugh as he slowly began to move inside me again, resting his forehead against mine as I gripped his forearms.

"If we rolled in there then we would've literally been sex on fire." Harry joked, releasing a soft groan as I raised my hips to meet his and he began to quicken his pace.

"You suck at jokes." I moaned out, smiling as Harry raised his brow before he lowered his face down, his soft warm lips at my ear as he pulled out of me, rubbing his tip against my folds as I gasped at the sensation.

"I think I know who else is gonna suck tonight," Harry growled before fully burying his whole length into me in one violent thrust, hitting a spot deep inside me that no one has ever hit as I arched my back off the rug and screamed in pleasure while Harry's body shuddered as he stilled inside me.

"What..." He breathed out, raising his head to look down at me in pure wonder, his chest heaving up and down as his eyes darkened.

"What was that?" He asked, darting his tongue out to wet his lips as I gaped up at him in shock.

"I think you just found my G-spot." I admitted in disbelief, surprised I had enough breath inside of my lungs to speak before a look of lust and determination washed over Harry's features before he brought one of my legs over his shoulder and continued to thrust into that same exact spot.

I felt him swell to an even bigger size inside of me as he continued to pound into me while I fisted the soft rug underneath us, crying out Harry's name while my toes curled.

This time, I didn't mind Harry being the dominant one if he was giving it to me this good.

"Look at me Nat," Harry groaned, his pace becoming even faster as I let out a small whimper, not even realizing my eyes were screwed shut as I felt him grip my chin.

"Look at me baby, look at me when you cum." Harry demanded in a pleading tone as I opened my eyes, our gazes locking as pleasure overcame my whole body and I was brought over the edge, screaming Harry's name.

We never looked away from eachother as Harry shuddered, his muscles flexing involuntarily as he held my chin and let go with one last thrust, spilling himself into the condom as I tightened my legs around him while he held me in his arms as we rode out our orgasms together, my name leaving his full lips in the process.

Harry collapsed on top of me, the both of our breathings labored as he buried his face in the crook of my neck making his brown hair tickle my sweaty face as I panted silently and ran my fingers through his hair in a soothing manner.

"Jolly good show ol' chap." I said, mimicking Harry's british accent before I brought my hand up and slapped Harry's ass making him let out a groan as he gently bit at the side of my neck making the both of us laugh.

"Was it... was it good for you?" I gulped, feeling insecure and silently praying that he enjoyed his first time.

Harry brought his head up from my neck to look at me with a smile of admiration as he pecked my cheeks.

"The best I've ever had." He said, his voice raspy and slow as he looked down at me with hooded eyes.

"I'm the only one you've ever had." I laughed, rolling my eyes at him as he chuckled and pecked my lips.

"And I wouldn't mind keeping it that way."