The obnoxiously audacious voice of my creamy red colored, Gucci branded, salsa dipped alarm clock woke me up. Gosh i hate it! There is absolutely no escape from the loud ringing that just ruined my sleep. I absolutely hate it. But ugh i have to get ready for school.

Scowling i trudged out of the silky satin sheets that my rich dad who lives in the middle of nowhere yet who sends tonnes of money every month sent on my last birthday. I rolled my eyes thinking about it. It was just so very lame! the whole mansion was decorated and half of the city was invited plus Queen Elizabeth , Donald trump, Mao Tse Tung, Morgan Freeman, Katy Perry and multiple other high profile people were also invited. Gosh! it was so embarrassing! My parents barely made an effort. All that we had was one direction performing few songs, chocolate fountain, an all you can eat buffet and stuff i don't even want to remember. Ugh so overrated and repetitive. Couldn't they do something original? And all I  got as a gift was a new swimming pool, lousy sheets and tickets to spend on a trip to Hokkaido. Such a boring evening it was, that was spent swimming with dolphins. Plus not to forget the necklace of my my great great great great great great grand mother that my parents gave me! ugh! could't they just give me something new? i am certainly adopted.

 I looked in the mirror and sighed. I am so ugly! I have a face that even makeup can't fix! I gaze at the mirror, cursing my parents for my looks! i look dreadful. Wavy blond hair  with beige streaks that flow like a waterfall down till my back. Why can't i have straight hair? Ugh i absolutely adore my friend's hair who is none other but Meghan Markle! She is so beautiful and i look like a toad! God was really angry at me when he gave me these ocean blue eyes with all the colors of rainbow in them that can also change like an iguana!!!!why can't i have brown eyes like all the other people? why do i have to be the abnormal one? And...and my figure? It just makes me  have a break down! I have long legs and a curvy frame but...but...not in the right way okay! No! its horrendous! i need to fix it! 

I frantically ran towards the dresser, knocking some sculptures that dad bought from few expensive museums from around the world. I also knocked over Mona Lisa too! Ugh its too mainstream and old anyway! But i am too worried about my face right now! Wait! There is absolutely nothing that makeup can't fix! HALLELUJAH!!!!!

Rolling my eyes i threw a glance at my  gold plated wall clock and the floor seemed to sway underneath my feet. Shiz! i am so late right now! and on the first day of school? sdgsgdg why life is so unfair?

Since there is no time to lose i decided to settle up with some light makeup. I applied a a layer of foundation, topped it with liquid Maybelle Concealer and then puffed it all up with some loose setting powder. I first applied Biopelle Radiance Eye Cream and then I pulled out my eye make up kit and applied a very dark layer of purple that at first glance made my eye lids to look like as if it was slapped by a dead fish a gazillion times and then i gave it a Smokey eye effect with black and Grey. Then i stuck few fake glittering gems on my lids, all from an exotic African gemstone from Nigeria. then it was the turn of pink eyeliner, fake bushy lashes that would put the jungles of amazon to shame and plenty of glittery mascara.

I picked up the most humid shade of red and smeared it all on my lips, topping it with "The Gloss" by jeffree star cosmetics.

 I sighed, there was not enough time left so i quickened my pace and powdered my pale powdery unnaturally alien white cheeks with a yellow blusher. Then i hopped off towards the closet. I HAD TO PICK SOMETHING THAT MAY LEAVE A GOOD IMPRESSION ON THE FIRST DAY! OH YES SOMETHING ELEGANT AND SHIZ!

Finally after investing  a whole day i managed to dress up in the skimpiest outfit in my closet that covered less area than an average underwear. it was bright pink in color and had enough sequin to make you lose your eyesight. I gave myself a judgmental look in the mirror as i wore black platform high heels. Gosh! i am thinking if its too much. Would i be drawing too much attention? I am shy and sensitive after all. My only friends are  books and i do not need a love life as ive mentioned before that who would want me? i am so ugly and conservative.

omg!OMG OMG11111!!!!11111!! nO MORE tIme left!

I gasped as i ran down the stair case, falling on my face a dozen time. Gosh! why am i so clumsy? I chugged down a slice of strawberry cheesecake, a whole bucket of KFC and grabbed a granola bar to munch on during the journey to school.  I Have to eat healthy! right? I am already so disfigured that i have to be careful. 

Though AMIDST OF MY ACTIVITIES MY MOTHER POPPED IN HE KITCHEN outta hella nowhere.

"hey!!!!HONEY!!!! BYE!!! I have bought a space ship to mars and won't be appearing in the rest of the story and yeah all of your pets are transferred to some other story as you won't remember feeding anyone of them in the entire book! TOODloOOO!"

With this my mom jumped out of the window and ran away like a mad woman with arms flailing in the air. but gosh! i have more things to worry about. I chugged down a glass of alcohol since i am both stressed and underage and left  the house. outside my Tesla awaits me. 

IT'S.SO.EMBARASSING!

Why can't i have a better car??????

With eyes pooling with tears i blare heavy metal music on the car's speakers as i am not like other girls and am definitely not mainstream. I soon made my way till my new school. its so huge, big and expensive that no one can afford it. ugh look at all these students! Such fakers! I hope i manage to blend in and don't attract too  much attention.

(What an eyesore! horrible capitalization, wording and shiz. There will be more about her  later in this book! until then, don't forget to eat almonds and certainly don't forget to vote or else i am coming for your miserable soul!)

 With salt

-Dev aka Lizzy