Scene:  

A formal court room with a case being under session. A serious atmosphere hangs low in the room as the jury, judge etc etc take their rightful position and eye the male infront of them. The male is hand cuffed and is looking at the judge with a hopeful gaze.

The judge prompts action and the session starts.

Judge: What is your name?

Peter: Peter, Peter goodguyson

Judge: (Shakes his head in dismay) with a name like this do you honestly think you can qualify as being a player, badboy or even a playboy? Getcho' self a grip or a better name!

Peter: I hope to prove myself, sir! A good guy can also be a charmer too!

Judge: Oh dear lord! Anyway! what comes in your mind when you hear the word "player"?

Peter: I LOVE FIFA and NFL!!! Sports are lit!

Jury gasps in utter horror

Judge: Well... a terrible start.  Next question, How many people have you slept with?

Peter: I slept with my mummy up until i was 5. Then i slept with a teddy until i was 7. Afterwards i decided that i ain't a pussy to be unable to sleep without someone! Like damn! i can sleep alone with enough space to comfortably accommodate my body.

Judge: (calmly) What i meant was flippity flappity you jack ass! How many people under that?

Peter: With my ex and my current girlfriend.

Judge: 2 people? To qualify as a player/badboy/playboy you must've had done filippity flappity with literally anything with 2 legs and a vag in between, you idiot! Even your maths teacher! which should be one reason why you ace every exam without studying at all.

Peter: (Shook) uhhh.... people do that stuff for grades? Umm... i thought they were naturally good.... and 'cuz i'm naturally good too.. i thought that i may fill the criteria. As for my maths teacher, ew no! she is married! And my science teacher is gay.

Judge: IT DOESNT MATTER! YE LIVE IN WATTPAD.

Silence.

Judge: Okay... To be a part of this group of guys, do you promise to have hormones equivalent to a rabbit on steroids? Wear black everyday? Have more jackets and leather accessories than actual brain cells? Also, do you pledge to be a rude man-child who thinks that women rights are a joke of the century?

Peter: O_O

Judge: .... basically, do you promise to be a hot characterless jerk and change partner more often than you change your underwear.

Peter: I guess... I guess i can try? 

Judge: WOOHOO! jury! we just cured a man!

Jury breaks into applause as peter wears confusion on his face.

Judge: Okay peter, with the basics aside, After you are done being a horny mess, do you pledge to quit being a man-whore and a male-slut once the shakira look-alike step into your life?

Peter: Wait..what?

Judge: (Rolls his eyes) Well, once the MC will enter, you have to quit your foul behavior and turn into a polished gentleman.

Peter: WTF? you want me to tun into a literal fuckboy and then turn back to normal when the main girl enters into my life? Hormones and Habits dont work like that! You cannot turn from Johnny sins to a priest overnight. And you expect me to be loyal, kind and humble once i get along with her?

The jury audibly gasps.

Judge: So you won't change for that special someone?

Peter: I don't mean that! What i mean is this that everything takes time and a guy doesn't have to ruin himself to this extent. Women aren't just suppose to be enjoyed sexually.... They make great friends and support system too.

Judge: Damn... Anyways, time is less and i have to complete this session. Do you promise to be a mama's boy and die for your sister? Cuz that surely does baits your unsuspecting MC in!

Peter: I see no harm in that but isn't it hypocritical to treat some other guy's sister like shit and then be possessive about your own? One way or another, karma strikes back.

Judge: ... Peter?

Peter: Yes?

Judge: You cannot be a player nor a bad boy or anything else. I hereby infront of this jury pronounce you as the "Good guy" who is forever damned to never end up with the MC. Now, bitch be gone.

Peter: Da faq?

And then peter ended up with the MC's best friend and they lived happily ever after and he eventually forgot about the MC since he spent the rest of his days loving the female who he failed to notice at the start of  the book because of the MC. Now they both prolly have babies etc too so yada yada yada, Peter is happy and UwUing.