I have lost count of how many I have written they have help me a little though not enough. I haven't write one of this in so long; I have forgotten really though sometimes emotions are hard to put in words. I have denied I had a problem a situation. I could deal with it what's another drowning tuesday or another crying friday huh? Nothing right. Nothing.

I have problems and I am dealing with them now more than ever in ways I have never done before. I couldn't deal with the voices anymore or the situation I was in. Yeah, shit happens. Family members die or so says everyone else. Purposedly moving on is hard like facing fears hard.

My fears?

The Dark

Clowns

Thunders

Screams of any type specially towards me. It makes me jumpy and brings all types of unwanted stress.

I like to write in so many levels it helps me move body and soul into a corner of peace that can never be exchange for materialistic gain. 

Who am I? In my head I am a Queen. I am perfect as I am things that happen to me do not define my personality or who I am. My face or words may never be known though I am fine with it. I am a talented women unique as much as I can. 

I am overall worth it. 

Start telling yourself that and you will believe it because I have started too. 

Overall, I have lost many friends who keep me in the past. I was giving everything I had to make them better while I drown myself in my head past recognition. I am done with it. I as a female want to be happy with the way I look, my tiny height, my weight and overall myself. The moment I said, "Enought" to myself is the moment I release myself from my past. It is still there though it doesn't hurt anymore. 

I will probably gain more friends later when I socialize. I don't do it as much because I am really honest and my sense of humor nobody seems to get. I am like this lighten up a bit, please? or no just keep being like you are. What I say is not supposed to be taken seriously. I am always comical like a standing comedian than rarely gets perfect jokes. Only when writting or somebody is picking on my love one. You better know I am a force to be reckoned with; I will let out everything I have hold back to make that one person cry.

There is no way I will let anyone pick on people I care about anymore. I would have quiet down before only smiling. Not anymore. My fire will never be put down because I will never let anybody put me down.

Hell yes, I am worth it.