I am scared.

I thought I let go of any detach emotions towards you. I felt hatred for a while mostly yar best friend, but not you. I muted you because I was afraid. I ran from troubles like a sickness running to its comfort zone. It felt right for a while as long as you were muted. I didn't feel the need to speak to you.

It protects me from myself.

If I read a story we work together, I wouldn't have the need to go messages you for us to continue because you are muted. I should learn that. I should have...

I may be cold-hearted, and a bitch sometimes. There is something I don't have cruelty. I couldn't under no circumstances let another writer lost their work just because they didn't know. 

That's when I made my secret mistake of unmuting you, so I can send the crucial message to you. I felt guilty that I wasn't going to send it just cause you are muted. I was scared. What if I say too much? No, I kept it simple to the point.  I really really didn't want you to lose those sets. 

It wouldn't be fair.

We may have our differences, but it's funny how I can't continue our Twilight Zone story cause your oc is missing in that ordeal. It's funny how Into Our World notebook is empty, but I wish it wasn't. It's funny cause I keep writing shorts dedicated to you; however, I can't post them any, so I really don't know what to do. 

Going back to the topic of the broken hearts and lost friendships. It was childish, maybe. I don't think I can admit it. I never try to change your story or your work. I just wanted to tell you about shots I'll write for only you to read. I just didn't appreciate you saying Ema is a mary sue...

Despite your other best friend. That hurt more than what I thought to admit. I thought you were joking, so I ask in which way because nothing points to her being a Mary Sue. Despite peoples believes (Spoiler alert) in the end of Ema's story she dies. I guess, I want to keep her alive for as long as I can not to fall into the reality. 

My shots and fanfictions of Ema are my what if.

There, I say it. What's so bad to hope for your character to have a loving mother that dies of an actual brain damage? She has an alcoholic father, but hell he puts a hand on her. She didn't let the luxurious part of her family envelope her. Ema only wanted to be normal like everyone else was, and she enjoyed that part about herself. She was living the dream, to be honest. A dream like no other. 

There is nothing that's called a jerk sue. Live and people around had made Ema cold plus I am sarcastic and charismatic. I had to put pieces of myself on her because I wanted her to have something real. Something that wouldn't end up leaving her in the end. Even by her doing or not. Ema learned quickly to survive on her own. I wanted to add a part of who she was and who she could become. Ema is a perfectionist in a way. She likes to be prepared. It can be confused with arrogance and self-absorbed. 

I have a tendency to always being right. Ema might have that too. No, the world does not in any circumstances revolves around us. Ema and I know it. We have that typed in. We work hard for things we get. We try times as harder. We give it our all. Sadly, I am very creative and a mess in describing. I describe a lot of things all at once out of excitement. I am not apologizing just describing. Ema is no Mary Sue. 

You said throwing a friendship? No. I needed to calm down because I didn't want to mess it up. The latter events made me feel like I was not welcome, and I didn't want to deal with Ms. S. I know what I said before the link message in Polyvore. I want the best for you. I wish all best for you to bloom incredibly. I want you to grow as an amazing writer I know you can be.

I say let good things go for them to grow amazingly. Never stop writing K. Even though I don't speak or talk to you. I have you in the highest of levels. I even send good wishes through twitter and Wattpad when the break up happens. I took your oc's off all my fanfictions, and no, I did not use any of your ocs ( not even the pictures you used). The picture part is in respect to you. 

I may be a Winter Queen, but I know when valuable people are at bay. Nothing against Ms. S is just our personalities don't go along well. She wants to be right all the time. I want to be right all the time. It won't really go very well in that sense. I can be nice for so long, but not for that long. 

Well, I should say muted is my way of saying amends. You may see it one day. I am not sure. You know who you are like a bit ago. You are the sun and I am the moon. I'll go back to my cold heart. I just melted a bit to soon when unmuted you to send you the notice. I wanted to be sure you got it. I didn't want you to lose the sets. IT would not be fair of me to let that happen. 

Anyhow, Good day.

People don't be childish.
Don't let your ego get between a friendship.
Don't let you get between it.
I... I just can't really do it. 
I have a hard time letting things in the past.
I am not a very good friend to be with.
I am a scary cat.
I am afraid.

I am scared that if I love to fast, and I get to close to someone. My own stupidity will make me lose them in the end. 

I love my friends and the people around me, but I am hella defensive of my characters and theirs. 

I would expect of Ms. S to call Ema a Mary Sue, but I wasn't expecting you to do so. I just wanted an explanation as to why you would say that...

An explanation I never got. 

Again, I repeat. Do not call my characters Mary Sue because they are not. I work my ass when I created them to make sure they are not MS. Am I holding this too much?  I might! but god dammit! WHy... WHYYYY

I have never said anything so horrible about any of your characters.

I encourage you and I... I..

(Have the period).

Mood swings.

I mean come on...

That's not cool. You didn't hear my whole story or let me explain myself... you just threw 3 sue's at me and call it a day. I couldn't fight against you because I loved you so much. I saw you as my fucking sister. That's above fucking best friends. A fucking sister for me is everything, so losing you is the hardest piece of shit I have ever done. 

No I haven't gotten over you. I re-read our future fan fiction for you and Loki. I have no idea how many times I have read it by now. Many times. More times than I can count. I don't care shit about Ms. S. I do not mind her no more. Do you want the truth? if she dies tomorrow, I would probably not feel shit. Seems mean yet? Don't care. 

At the time I decided it was the best to mute both of you. Why you? because I don't want to make you share your time. She is your best friend. I am just someone that came after. I respect friendships believe it or not. Those are valuable as gold. They grow strong through the years and keep you warm in the winter. I may not agree with her on a lot of things; however, she is closest to you than anyone, and believe it or not I have a bit of heart. I took myself out of the equation. I had a disagreement with your closest friend. 

Lol. I just buried myself right there and then. I mean come on. I am the third wheeler with all this fantasy childish ideas. I said something to you, you agreed then 10 minutes later Ms. S said something and your mind changed. lol.

Irritated me a bit, but I got the memo. No matter what it is. She'll change your mind no matter what. That's the best friends definition apart of if someone hurts you they'll kill em. Good luck with that, Ms. S. 

I didn't really hurt you. I walk away. Cowardliness? Yes plus now she has all your time. Wish luck to the next lucky sucker that takes my place. Ms. S will be a hell to be reckoned with, Ha! I can see that. 

Do be good. Be safe and have fun. You'll always be in my heart forever to be known as the one who walked away, lol...

No, but all jokes aside. You are the one that got away. 

Btw, I still owe you that promise about Sebastian Stan? Yeah. I haven't forgotten. I am working on it. DO know, I keep my promises just like a big hug to you. I hope your family is okay. Have a wonderful rest of the year, K. 

This is the best letter of Good bye that I have done.