This is the absolutely hardest thing I had to do in my life. It is more complicated than my stage fright. I don't even know why I have stage fright, but I do.

"OH my god you can't keep eye contact"

"You have to be lying"

"My dad says if you don't keep eye contact while telling me something. You are lying. I believe my dad"

First off, this is stupid. This makes me unable to speak nicely to people. I can't keep eye contact with people because it bothers me not because I am lying, the fck is wrong with people. I don't think eye contact should be force onto people.

I feel better if I look at everything else than the person's eyes. I think is nicer to talk to somebody instead of looking at their eyes. I trust the person, but I still don't look on their eyes. I don't want to know what their eyes have to say. 

You know even if a person tells you "Let's go out" "We are friends" or tell you the most implemented lie in the world. If you look hard enough on their eyes, you will know they are lying. You can tell if people are lying to you or not. I don't like staring because people do lie. I don't need to know if they are lying to me. 

I am tired of knowing the truth. I am tired of being always right. It hurts. It feels like a nice thing, but it is the hardest thing ever. 

Being always right, at everything. It doesn't helps with friends or popularity. It only makes you feel empty inside. I can pick anything even as little as it sounds. It gets stressing and it frustrates me. It can be helpful sometimes; however, it can turn into a curse as soon as the conversation changes.

I don't know everything. I haven't study that far. I have being through so much shit. I know every single lie of the book. I didn't had that many friends growing up, so I use my spare time to learn when people are lying or not. It is a gift and a curse. Sometimes you don't really want to know.

I wonder if I had actual friends I would be different. I doubt it. I have a boyfriend, and I am still the same. Its a long distance relationship, but it is the longest one I had ever had. I am glad for it <3

Btw, even if you don't make eye contact. There is nothing wrong with you or me <3

We are all beautiful souls <3~ 

Believe it~