I can say that I am 24 years of age. I am on my twenties. I have nothing figured out in my life actually not a lot.

I am in much of a gutter than I was before. I want to let go of all my baggages of all my pains and start brand new. I tried it for once since a long time opening all the doors to see what comes after...

It's 4:33am. I am wide awake as if sleep is gone. I don't feel my heart anymore. I don't feel anything atm. My most heartbreaking events replay in my mind over and over and over all in repeat. They are not sharp or punch anymore. They are just there, and that's enough to bring me into tears.

It's comes natural to me to put my pain away, and I try to please everyone or anyone. I try to look for people seeing who can figure out the wearer of the smile. I try so hard to help everyone I see smile so brightly.

But even I have lose big things. Why has this come upon? My birthday is 3 days before my younger brother's.

He was the exact definition of awesome. I never used to talk about him or just try to forget it; however, the more I try to push it back. The more it eats me inside.

Does anyone know a way to move on? Anything that can help it?

Today's is my birthday.
I am turning 24, today.

He'll be 23 on May 23, 2018.

I miss him so dearly.

Happy Birthday to anyone out there. Treasure those close to you because you don't truly know when they'll be gone forever.

I wouldn't like anyone to feel as helpless as I do right about now.

Love is a beautiful thing to experience, but the hardest emotion to forget.

Truly, love hurts.