Title: The new girl in school
Genre: Short Story
User: folashewaodekunle

Cover/Title & Summary:
Your cover is super cute! I loved it! The title goes perfectly with the cover.

I love how your summary is short but leaves a huge impact. I would definitely open your book after reading it.

First Impressions:
You start with a great scene or was engaging, and I also enjoyed how you introduced your characters at a good pace. However, the storyline itself felt a little rushy. I felt like you could have given more time to develop the story more deeply as there was plenty of room.

Character Development:
Your story didn't seem to focus on one particular character. I think character development could have been developed better. I didn't really see much personality from any of your characters. There's a lack of emotional development as well. Marcus saw Anne once, and you mentioned that he had a strong feeling for her. There wasn't a clear development of his feelings for her. I think you can most certainly add more description of your character personality traits and feelings.

Plot:
I know the plot is connected with Anne's story, but there was too early in the development to see how that developed. I was a little confused about the way you narrated the story. Because after being writing on the 3rd person, you jumped to Anne's POV as 1st person. It would help to make a connection with your book if you kept one writing style instead of alternating constantly.

Conclusion:
Your story seems to have potential. Anne's action appears to be tough, and I'm sure she's a strong character, but I was able to see much of her yet.

I think there is room to improve the way you describe surroundings and individual scenes. Like for example, when Betty confronted Anne, there was unclear why Betty was lashing out; it was also confusing how Betty beat Anne so badly when Marcus was right there. Although you were writing about those actions, there weren't many in-depth descriptions, which made it hard to visualize it from a reader's perspective.

Overall I think your plot has a lot of potential. However, I would suggest developing your story a bit more and highlight your character's personality traits and emotions.

Reviewed by: claudushka

I apologize for any typos. Thank you for allowing us to review your book. I hope I didn't offend you in any way. Remember that you are already an amazing writer. I'm just trying to help you to improve. In no way shape or form, I think I think that you are not an excellent writer. Feel free to reach out if you need anything else❤️

I would rate this book 3.9 out of 5

Book Star 4