Title: Hapuch's Diary
Genre: General Fiction
User: destinywritez_

Cover/Title:
If you don't mind me being totally honest, I don't think your cover suits your book at all. It doesn't feel natural, and it doesn't connect with your title either. I would suggest you consider other options.

Summary:
Your summary gives enough detail about the story. You raise questions which is always something that helps to capture the curiosity about the story inside. I was engaged and couldn't wait to read your book.

First impressions:
Your personality came through a lot in your book and that one think that I love about wattpad, the chance to connect with the writer as well with their works. I appreciate the way that you address your readers, you make sure to let them know how important they are to you and you even thank them for allowing you to write this book (which was incredibly sweet).

The story started beautifully; I loved how deep into you went to describe Hapuch's feelings and personality. The way that you brought Mr. Adison into the story was also interesting (although I would love to have known him by his first name, did I miss it?). You don't exactly express the difference of ages; it made me wonder due to the way that she addressed him as Mr.Adison.

Character Development:
You portrayed your main character beautifully in the first chapter. I felt like I could connect with her (apart from the fish vomit resemblance). Although it was a little tricky to judge the character development due to the flashbacks, I still think that you can do it easily by considering what I read.

Plot:
You dedicated this book to families that have been separated by immigration laws, which is something remarkable and a first for me, as I never read anything like this. Your book digs profoundly on the subject, as this is something close to the heart of your main character. I think it's exciting and opens the doors to so many different types of emotions.

Your first chapter was beautiful, but things got confusing after that due to the flashbacks that seem that lasted for a long time. Flashbacks are useful to give perspective to a story by bringing past events in determining moments in the story, but you kind of opened all doors to the past. I personally think as a reader that this was a little confusing, especially after you set the pace so well in the 1st chapter. It kind of throws me off a bit; I would recommend to instead of making several chapters as a flashback, spread them along with the story. Also, keep in mind that you need to remind your readers when the flashback starts and ends.

Conclusion:
Chapter one is a winner for me while reading it; I had so many high expectations for your book.I got a little confused and heartbreaking after that (even because I was waiting for Mr. Adisons return).

Also the mentions about Portuguese names is not every accurate, we dont really have names like that (unless you were trying to translate into English pronunciation).

I think you are a fabulous writer; you can describe surrounding, feelings and portray your story in a beautiful way, the only thing is really the long flashbacks that can impact your story with a less rate than it deserves, but I have to go with my heart, so I'm basing my opinion on the first chapter and your amazing writing skills when I give my rating, because you deserve to be recognise..

I would rate this book 4.8/5

I apologize for any typos. Thank you for allowing us to review your book and we wish you and your bookie nothing but the very best💖
claudushka

Book star 5