~ The Love Story With The Most Irritating and Frustrating Ending Ever ~

"Good show, guys," one of the security workers said as we passes by. I nodded in thanks, holding my guitar close to my body as we walked through the narrow hallway.

Another pair of feet joined us, letting us know that Jon was finally done yelling goodnight to the crowd and was now hurrying alone behind us.

"What took ya so long?" David asked.

"Nothin'," he responded, smiling. "Let's go, don't wanna miss the bus."

We laughed, knowing damn well there would be limos waiting for us outside. But we hurried anyway, not wanting to keep the drivers waiting.

They took us to our hotel, where we promptly headed to my room and began celebrating the completion of another great show. I played a few fast-paced tunes on my guitar, to which Tico played along to on a chair with his drumsticks.

We were pretty tired after the show, though, and we had another show the day after. So we decided to go to bed early. We all had separate rooms, and Alec, Tico, and David headed off to their own rooms. Jon, however, stayed behind.

"What happened to going to sleep early?"

"Ah, we're the toughest of the group. We don't have to."

I laughed and shook my head, then jumped backwards onto my bed. "Stay as long as you want."

He flopped down backwards onto my outstretched legs, then stretched his arms out over his head for a moment. He suddenly turned his head to me and pointed at my head with wide eyes.

"What?" I asked, laughing at his antics.

"I dunno," he said, facing the ceiling again and laughing. "What do you wanna do?"

I took up my guitar. "Sing."

I played the opening of a Tom Petty song I knew he liked, and he began singing along.

Before I even knew it, it was three in the morning. We'd been singing and playing for hours, with the last hour spent making jokes and talking about anything we could think of.

More than a few times I found myself looking a little too deeply into his eyes, and I had to shake my head now and then to regain my bearings. What was wrong with me? I was suddenly seeing him the way I imagined most of our fans saw him-- kinda... dreamy, in a word. It felt weird. I wasn't sure if I liked that feeling.

***

The month following that night was a strange one. I had developed what could be called an obsession with Jon. I told nobody of this, fearing they wouldn't understand, but above all worried it would get back to him. I couldn't let him find out. He might kick me out of the band.

I still couldn't figure out exactly what it was. Was I in love with him? I thought of him 24/7 now. It was like my heart was yelling something at me, trying to point out the obviousness of this all, but my mind was refusing to listen.

So I ignored it. I still caught myself staring at him a little too long and daydreaming about him when I was alone. But for the most part I kept it all tamped down.

Until one night not two months after that one night.

We had just finished another show, and Jon was gleefully hurrying back from the other side of the stage, where he'd been waving at fans. He saw me and picked up the pace, and upon reaching me grabbed my face and kissed my cheek.

I managed to act completely naturally, laughing and following him off the stage, but on the inside I was exploding.

I felt so giddy as we paraded down the street to the hotel, which was only a block away. We skipped and ran along like kids. Of course, I had a little more skip in my step than usual, for obvious reasons.

David had the idea to get up on the roof for a little party, and within an hour it was full of people we'd called up. We got a speaker out there and played loud dance music. Mostly everyone was dancing, but there were a few people on the side and sitting at the tables we'd put out.

After a while of dancing, I got a bit bored, and I spotted Alec standing with his back to the party, facing the city below us. I went over to him.

"What's up, man?" I asked, setting my arms on the ledge and looking down at the city as well.

"Just thinkin' 'bout some stuff," he said. "This ain't the best time to think, but it's the perfect place."

I looked up at the twinkling stars, then to the people walking on the sidewalk. "Yeah, it is. What's on your mind?"

"I know, Richie," he said softly.

"Know what?"

He sighed but kept his eyes on the streets. "I know you're in love with Jon."

A little gasp escaped me. My eyes went wide and I quickly looked around us.

"Relax, no one heard. And you just confirmed it."

"N-no, I don't! I..."

"Naw, I know ya do. It's okay. I understand, alright? I just... I just don't think it's healthy for you to hold it in."

I shook my head. "How did you find out?"

"It was kinda obvious. You got so happy when he kissed you earlier-- yeah, I saw that. And I've seen the way you look at him. I know love when I see it. Don't worry, I won't tell anyone. I do think you should tell him, though."

"I don't think I will. What if he hates me for it? Or kicks me out of the band?"

"He could never hate you, Richie. And he wouldn't kick you out. Even if he tried, I- we wouldn't let him."

"Thanks, Alec," I said, "you're a great friend. I hope you know you can come to me for anything."

"Same goes to you," he replied. "Now, I think I'm gonna go for a beer. Coming with?"

"No, I just wanna think for a bit," I said. "This really is a good spot for thinking."

He nodded, then patted my shoulder and walked away. I was let alone with my thoughts.

Of course I wasn't going to tell Jon. Maybe it was the smart and healthy thing to do, but I couldn't find it in me to do so. I simply lacked the courage.

I sighed. What had become of me? Had I no pride? I was better than this... I was Richie Sambora! I was famous, I had money, I... couldn't tell the one I loved how I felt about him. Who was I kidding? None of that other crap defined me. And it was only going to get worse. I knew that. But I loved him. There was no question of denying it anymore.

"This isn't a game anymore," I sighed to myself. I laughed a little. "Hell, it never was. But," I sighed again, "come what may, I'm ready. I love him and I'll keep going like this if it means I get to keep being his friend."

That was my resolve, and I had about... two hours before it crumbled.

***

The party ended about an hour and a half later. Alec, David, and Tico all went downstairs when it was over, but Jon stayed out on the roof. I had been about to go down with the boys until I spotted him sitting alone.

"Hey," I said, sitting next to him.

"Hey," he said back.

"What's goin' on?"

"Not much. You?"

"Same," I replied. "Why are you still up here?"

"I don't know. Why are you?"

"Because you are."

He granted me a little smile, then tilted his head back to look at the sky.

"Look at that," he said, "the stars look so nice."

They're not alone in that respect, I wanted to say. "Yeah," I said instead.

"Really makes you think about life, doesn't it? We talk about fate and say it's all written in the stars. As if they have an actual influence on what is brought into our lives. Or who, for that matter," Jon said, his eyes searching the sky.

I nodded. "Yeah."

God, could I have sounded like any more of an idiot? Was I planning on contributing an actual smart thought? I decided to try again.

"I think everything happens for a reason. The people we meet... I don't think it's ever accidentally. We're put into other's lives for a reason, don't ya think?"

"Like you and I," he said, his beautiful blue eyes turning to look into mine. "I think we met for a reason."

"I think so, too," I said, my voice almost at a whisper. "I'm not sure what it is just yet... but I know it wasn't for nothing."

He stood and walked to the edge of the roof, leaning on the wall where Alec and I had held our earlier conversation. I followed after a second, moving slowly and quietly, not wanting to ruin the peaceful mood.

We stood in the same positions Alec and I had stood in just a couple of hours before, our arms atop the wall, looking down at the city.

"Richie," he said, so softly that I might not have heard him had I not been holding my breath, "what do you want more than anything?"

"What do you mean?" The question was clear, but I hasn't expected something of its nature. So serious and straightforward... and I couldn't give him my real answer.

"What would please you more than anything else in this world? What do you long for?"

I thought about it for a moment. How could I be truthful without actually revealing the truth?

"Satisfaction," I finally responded. "I want to feel like I did something while I lived. But more than anything I just want happiness. I want fulfillment. I want to not long for anything."

I felt his eyes on me again, so I turned to match his gaze. "A perfect response."

"Thanks," I laughed.

"What about love?" He asked.

I almost choked. "What about it?"

"How do you feel about it?"

"I guess I would like to be in it with someone."

"Yeah, that's the hope, isn't it?" He locked eyes with me again.

I couldn't say anything. I was afraid that if I opened my mouth, I'd let out everything I'd been keeping in.

Jon looked down again. "I don't think that'll happen for me."

"What? Why not?"

"I don't know," he sighed. "I just... I don't know."

I felt sorry for him, and I wanted to be there for him.

"C'mon, Jon, have faith in yourself. Tons of people would give their right arm to be with you." Including me.

"Even if that's true, none of them actually know me."

"Plenty of people close to you love you."

"Love love?"

"Well, maybe not," I said, faltering a little. I was scrambling for something- anything, to lift his spirit. "I... I know of at least one."

"Who?" He turned to face me, raising his eyebrows and looking thoroughly intrigued.

My eyes shifted from his, to the next rooftop, to the streets, and back to his eyes. I looked away and gulped, then took a deep breath. It was now or never. I had to tell him. Alec would approve.

"M-me," I said, nearly failing to push out the word.

He froze for a second, his entire body stiffening before he turned to me. "You?"

I nodded, barely able to breathe. Yeah... he didn't like me.

"You-you-you... love me?"

"Yeah," I finally said, "I do."

"Richie," he said softly, just as I turned away to face the view once more, "do you really?"

"How could I not?" My voice was off. It sounded strangled and awkward. "You've been my best friend for a while... We have so much fun and so much in common, and we spend so much time together-- how could I not?"

He didn't say anything for a moment. My life was over.

Then he surprised me. "I... I love you too, Richie."

My heart leaped into my throat. Was I hearing things?

"What?"

"I liked you from the moment we met, but after we became friends and started hanging out all the time I realized it was more than that. I've loved you for a while now."

After the initial shock, I was beginning to feel a sense of frustration. "All that time... I swear, I thought I could never tell you because you wouldn't feel the same... that you would hate me."

"I could never hate you, Richie. Man-- this is the love story with the most irritating and frustrating ending ever."

I laughed, then looked at him again. "Ending?"

"No," he said, stepping closer, "more like beginning."

And then he was kissing me. Dear Lord, I will never forget that feeling. It was like every feeling I'd felt over the last couple months was pouring out then and there. And now that I had him, I knew I was never going to let him go.