HARLOW

A few hours later, I find myself lying in bed beside Everett, him sleeping soundly under the covers as I lie next to him, my mother's journal in my hands while I read under the soft glowing light that emits from a new bedside lamp that I purchased when out with Aithne. I want to read the journal with him, I truly do, but Everett needs his rest and I need to figure things out before we meet up with everyone in the morning. Therefore, I've taken to reading it by myself while I stay up and watch over his sleeping figure.

Memorandum: Pandora T.

Starting from the beginning, I suppose I'll let you in on a little secret. Angela was a beautiful young woman who was in love with Jamie Whittford. She gave more of herself than she needed to, constantly only wanting to keep the peace. She was kinder than she should have been, and it utterly, in my opinion, wrecked her. She loved Jamie so much that she was willing to brush aside all of his tendencies, even staying silent with eyes glued to the floor when she found out the whole truth about him. Angela loved Jamie in a desperate kind of way, always begging to keep him stable. Over time, Angela's morals kept going back and forth in her head, driving her to the point of madness because she felt she had nowhere to turn to, like she was clawing at walls that she couldn't break through, scratching until her nails would bleed and she would fall to her knees, her soul silently weeping as her eyes would lose focus.

Poor thing, it was rather unfortunate. She eventually just chose to accept what was happening, to go with whatever happened to her. Jamie drove her crazy and she let him do it, and he knew he was doing it. I don't even know if he ever truly loved her, but she believed he did. However, one day she just ended it all, and that was when Jamie grew enraged. Jamie wasn't angered that he lost her, wasn't angered that he didn't find a way to stop it. No, Jamie was angered because he wasn't done with her yet. He didn't want to let her go, wouldn't allow her to leave him yet. That's the kind of person Jamie was. This isn't a twisted love story, this is a horror story. Don't be fooled into thinking Jamie was a psychopath who came to love Angela and held her like his queen, because that's not what he did. Jamie was indeed a psychopath, but he did not love Angela, definitely not like she loved him.

So, after Jamie merged Angela's soul with mine, who just so happened to be the unfortunate chosen one, I began to have her memories, her feelings, all of it. Over the years, I battled back and forth between what was her and what was me. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't always completely sane, but having Angela just was like adding fuel to a fire, no pun intended. One of my outbursts even ended up killing our mother, which I'm deeply sorry about, but I can't change what happened. What I can do is ensure that you don't turn out like me, that you don't get involved in this entire mess. So, if you know what's best for you, you'll just leave it be. After I was imprisoned, I knew Jamie would come looking for me. So, I knew I had to escape, to find a way out before he found a way in. I knew that, even in my teetering sanity, it would be best for me to be alone and on the run, not locked up somewhere like a fish in a bowl. Oh, and don't be mad at the others, seeing as it wasn't really their fault. I know you've probably already forgiven them though.

After seeing you that one night, I sincerely hoped you hadn't gotten close to Everett. I somehow had a feeling you would, considering you always seemed to like the broken things ever since you were a child, always wanting to fix things and put them back together. I suppose you'll get offended by me calling Everett broken because that's not how you see him at all, do you? You probably see him as being perfect the way he is, despite all his flaws, and that you want to be by his side. To each their own, I suppose, but I feared that you would become Jamie's next pawn. Jamie would do anything to hurt Everett, and I mean anything. If that means using you instead of me, then he'd do it, even if it would be of less benefit to him. I now can say that I know of all that happened and that I was correct, but I guess that doesn't make much of a difference now that he's gone, does it?

I wonder, will you ever tell Everett? Will you tell him that it was you who killed his cousin? He'd probably give you an award or some kind of metaphorical medal, but what would you do? You'd feel endless guilt, wouldn't you? You probably shouldn't. He would've just caused more pain in the end. So, it seems it's for the best. But, I confess that I must keep running. As I said, you'll never hear from me again, that I can promise. There are far bigger dangers in the world compared to Jamie Whittford, which may be hard to believe. I used to keep all of my thoughts and plans written down on paper in the tower. The others never thought anything of it. However, those have all been burned, seeing as how I won't need them anymore. Besides, can't leave any evidence behind, can I? I know you'd come looking for me, but trust me when I say that it's best if you don't. You'll only be asking for trouble. I may be your friend and your sister in this letter, but I can be your greatest downfall in person. I know you'll probably do it anyway, but...

Don't say I didn't warn you.

P.S. — If you're confused as to why this is already the end, it's because I lied in my note. Well, by lied I mean I changed my mind after I had already written it. I may or may not have hurriedly torn out all of my entries and replaced them with this after writing the note in a split second decision. You'll learn that it's best if you don't know everything. I know you hate being left in ignorance, but I'm doing you a favor. This way, I hope you have less information to go off of and less of a chance of getting involved. But, as promised, I briefly discussed all of the topics my note mentioned. I'm not a complete liar, you see, just a little bit of one.

Goodbye and best wishes,

Pandora Trusilla

I sigh and blow a hair out of my face as I close the journal in distaste, upset that she decided to skip on telling me everything. Either way, I'm appreciative for what she did tell me. I don't quite know what I'm going to do yet, but...I know that I can't just let this go. I'm done letting other people decide what's best for me.

I place the journal on my nightstand before I turn off my lamp and snuggle into the covers, pressing up against Everett and resting my head on his chest. He shifts around in his sleep, moving so that his arm wraps around me and pulls me tighter as he sighs. I smile softly and close my eyes. I'll tell him everything in the morning before we talk to the others, I promise myself that.