When there are two more weeks left of school with a final essay due in most would spend their last weeks pushing just that little bit further through their burnout in order put their all into their final paper.

Which is what Chuuya would have been doing if he wasn't stuck in a toxic relationship. The 'celebration' as everyone called it, had started in the morning. Honeslty, Chuuya thought it was insane to throw a party for an entire day, no- what was more insane was staying at this party all day. He certainly wasn't going to be one of those people, he'd only been here an hour and he was bored and irriated out of his mind.

He'd made it clear multiple times that he didn't want to be in Yuan's presence and yet here he was, sitting a few meters away from her. However, it was satisfying to see that she was doing everything in her power not to acknowledge he existed, and if she by accident managed to catch Chuuya's eyes, she looked away as if he'd kill her, which, considering what she did, Chuuya would be very much justified in doing so.

Nevermind thinking about her, he took his phone just to absentmindledly scroll through some form of social media; he got distracted immediatley when he saw a message from Dazai.

D: I lifted 100!! >0< I'm so strong!!'

C: you lying? You have noodles for arms.

D: EHH?!? Mon cheri I'll have you know I'm jacked.

Chuuya grinned at the nickname, his heart fluttering stupidly in his stupid chest, thanks to stupid Dazai. The prick.

C: yeah? Where is it?

D: you'd find out if you touched me more often.

D:....

D: wait that sounded wrong.

D: I meant in the sense if you gave my arm an occasional squeeze.

C: I'm not gonna just walk up to you and be like hey Mackerel! Show me them sexy guns!

D: you could ;)

C: you're impossible.

"You seem to be doing alright"

Chuuya looked up and found Abe staring down at him, he a had a cup of presumably alcohol in his hand, "Oh hello Abe," he greeted.

He motioned his head towards the couch as well as the hand that was holding the cup, "Mind if I take a seat?" He asked politely.

Chuuya scooted up on the couch "not at all."

"Texting Dazai?"

"How'd you know?"

"Only he'd put such a dopey smile on your lips."

Chuuya raised an eyebrow "don't tell me you also know that I love him?"

"Is there anyone who doesn't??" He paused and searched the room "apart from these dumb lot, of course."

He decided not to comment on the very truthful fact that Shirase didn't know -he suspected it- but even if it wasn't Dazai, he would have suspected it with someone else, "Yeah it is Dazai."

"Honestly Chuuya why are you still here?" He asked, looking at Chuuya with a kind expression.

Chuuya sighed, rubbing his temples, "I can only escape for a short while then I'm being dragged back here."

Abe took a sip of his drink "you ever gonna get with Dazai at this rate?"

"I.. uhm.. I'm not planning on it.. I think, I think I'd just ruin our friendship and hurt his feelings and-"

"Woah woah woah- calm down. That man took a beating for you, confronted Yuan for you, when you hurt him already, accepted you again even after everything. You think he won't be willing to carry your baggage?" Abe scoffed, "Please."

Chuuya's mouth went dry and he looked away "I can't afford to hurt him again," he pictured Dazai on the floor of the kitchen, bleeding and in the midst of an overdose and closed his eyes to prevent himself from crying "I can't afford to make a fatal mistake again."

Abe clapped him on the back sympathetically "I'm not the one to give you advice, considering I don't know the two of you that well but I think...maybe you can be selfish."

"Haven't I been selfish enough?"

Abe flashed him a toothy grin, "I think maybe one more time wouldn't hurt

It didn't convince Chuuya in the slightest but for a second the confidence, in his resolution, wavered and he seriously considered it.

Eventually after some silence, Abe took his leave, wishing Chuuya good luck.

With nothing to do Chuuya lit a cigarette and sat back, humming to the music absentmindedly, paying no mind to anyone around.

He didn't get to have even a comfortable moment of peace before it was ruined by none other than his good for nothing boyfriend.

"You ain't gonna dance? Have some fun? How come you're not drinking?"

Chuuya looked at him unimpressed "you're gonna ask an acholic why they're not drinking?" He exhaled the smoke "come on don't be daft."

Shirase's silver like eyes narrowed "you had no problem drinking at Sara's party."

Chuuya had to bite back a smirk, he'd seen the posts "I'm safe there," he looked at Shirase with a seething look, "I'm not safe here."

Shirase shrugged "whatever, you're friends with Dazai again I don't see a reason you should drink."

"You still takin drugs?" Chuuya asked, looking around the room but not at him.

"Yeah?"

"You getting it on with Yuan?"

"What?!"

Chuuya looked at him with his eyebrows raised and a smile "Go on."

"I..."

"Judging by your hesitance then yes, you're still taking drugs but you're fucking Yuan? See my point of view?" Chuuya extinguished his cigarette and finally looked up at him "no, I'm not drinking and no I'm not taking any drugs."

Shirase sneered at him "then why are you here?" He asked, his tone sounding almost disgusted.

"Cause you asked me to," he stood up, face inches away from Shirase's own.

"Since when did you become so fucking boring?" Shirase asked and yet despite his awful words he still held onto Chuuya's hips. They didn't compare to Dazai's hands gripping so gently yet so desperately.

Chuuya looked at him, his eyelashes fluttering prettily as he blinked up at Shirase, he smiled sweetly, "Since I found something better."

He found his love for Dazai, locked away deep in his heart. Dormant, like a volcano ready to explode.

"And I'm going to experience that better something right now."

He backed away from Shirase, tugging a bit briskly so he could get Shirase's hands off his waist. Done with what he was going to say and aware he didn't want to be here any longer he turned away, he wasn't aware of how good he looked as he did so, not until Abe told him later.

Hips swinging, hair trickling down his back and swaying with each step, he looked cool, promiscuous, confident in his decision.

The dorms where quiet, Tachihara was at the gym with Dazai and honestly Chuuya wasn't sure where Fyodor was but he did know that usually Fyodor waited for Tachihara to finish at the gym before they came back together.

Sighing, Chuuya placed his keys down and looked around the darkness, as if the room would tell him what he should pass the time with. Somehow (or maybe he was just going crazy) the bathroom was calling to him, telling him that he should have a shower, get comfortable and relax.

So he did. He took his time, lathering his sun-kissed hair in conditioner and tying it up, shaving his legs and arms and any other places that crossed his mind, he used a pumice stone to get rid of dead skin and exfoliated. At some point he sat in the corner of the shower, waiting for his hair to fully absorb as much as the conditioner as it could as he pondered; he didn't think about anything other than Dazai.

Just about how Chuuya would catch him looking softly at him, how Dazai smiled when Chuuya gave him a hug. He thought about the other day when Chuuya woke up with one of the worst headaches and Dazai had pulled the duvet so it covered Chuuya properly and brought him food and tea and gave him painkillers.

He thought about how he'd had a breakdown about his life, how he missed the carefree childhood he once had, riding his bike and buying lollipops from school, years of his life that he didn't need to worry about anything and yet complained so much throughout it, not aware of the difficulties adulthood would propose. He mourned the loss of youth and how Dazai (of all people) had comforted; telling him that one day he'd come to mourn his current self, so why not live it to the best of his capacity.

Dazai hadn't lied when he'd said he'd treat Chuuya like he deserved. He treated him even better than he deserved.

And it wasn't one sided either, Chuuya comforted Dazai when he was clearly upset about his writing, he spewed some shit about not being good enough at what he liked, that when he didn't even bother to try, he did well in anything but when it was something he poured his heart and soul into, it never seemed to be enough.

"You're capable of anything Dazai. You are so much more than you think, just because you're smart to the point it hinders you, doesn't mean that when you put conscious effort it will turn out bad. There's a lot of things I love a lot about you but you're passion for the things you do and the way you always achieve what you want is one of the things I love the most, so god damn it don't give up right now. In the last stretch."

Dazai had smiled at him gratefully, deeply in need of comfort and happy to receive it from the person he loved.

And Chuuya had never flat a greater pleasure at being the one to do that for Dazai.

Once he stepped out of the shower he moisturised and then doused himself in perfume, he fanned himself to diffuse the smell a little. Once he finished, he dried his hair and ran some oil through it, got dressed in some black sweatpants and a blue jumper.

He say himself down on the couch and stared at the wall, the room was still dark, with only moonlight filtering though, even that source of light was beginning to fade as clouds began to seep into the previously clear sky.

When Chuuya had walked out of the party, the sky had been so clear and dark that even in the midst of a brilliantly lit city, stars still appeared to litter the sky as if someone had thrown silver glitter on a black canvas. For a moment, Chuuya felt as though those stars had snatched his breath away and lifted it all the way towards them, like beautiful thieves. His mind was blank as he admired them, but it quickly filled with thoughts again... his second thought after 'they're so beautiful' was 'I want Dazai to see this.'

Dazai...

Osamu Dazai.

The person he loved more than anything.

Chuuya was sure he would do anything for him, he would jump off a moving plane, drop miles and miles from the sky to save him, defeat a dragon, he would risk his life over and over for him, he would drown for him, if Dazai asked.

He would find a way to reach for the stars, take them in his hands and hand them to Dazai.

They both hard their problems, Chuuya had lost his self worth, was dependant on alcohol, he carried the burden of his current relationship with him. And Dazai would probably still have problems with seeing the value in living but Chuuya would shoulder them, shoulder them all.

Without a second thought.

He knew people always said stupid things like this when they were in love, in the midst of their honeymoon phase, only for that passion to die down with time, but Chuuya had known Dazai his whole life and if that argument hadn't torn them apart, nothing would.

Unlike his mind, the apartment was silent, just like his heart was with Shirase.

Silent.

Shirase hadn't done much for him, he'd hurt him, maimed him, manipulated and used him. Shirase had played Chuuya like Yuan had played him.

Shirase had done nothing for him, he'd changed the course of Chuuya's life for the worst, the things he had to experience with him, Chuuya would now have to carry those things with him for the rest if his life, all the negativity and hurt, the smell of burning.

It begged the question.

Why was Chuuya even still with Shirase?

Was it to save him from an inevitable fate?

The man already took drugs at his own leisure, he already slept with Yuan, he already drank and got high. What was Chuuya breaking up with him going to do? The boy was already heading towards an overdose, all Chuuya was going to do was speed up the process, and was it really his fault?

With or without him Shirase had fucked up his life, if he harmed himself did it really fall onto Chuuya?

No, no it didn't.

Chuuya wasn't responsible for Shirase's actions, Shirase was responsible for them.

When people hurt themselves or drunk themselves into oblivion or even killed themselves, yes they lived through hardships and that could be blamed on the people around them but their decision to harm themselves, or cope, was their own.

It wasn't right and it wasn't their fault, it was the only way to cope and if this was Shirase's way of coping that was okay.

But Chuuya was struggling himself and unlike with Dazai he wasn't willing to shoulder Shirase's pain.

Maybe if things had been different, he would have. But he wasn't.

He loved Dazai, so much it hurt him every waking moment.

So why? God, why, oh why? Was he keeping himself from Dazai?

"I think... maybe you should be selfish one more time."

Chuuya had never kept himself from happiness before, if wanted something he did everything in his power to get it. Once, what felt like many years ago, he'd wanted a bike that Kyoyo refused to get him because it cost too much, so he went out and became an errand boy for the local mechanics and he bought it himself. Then when he wanted to get an A on his literature paper, he revised everyday for four hours and he got it.

So why was he not going for the person he wanted?

He wanted Dazai, to kiss him hello in the courtyard, to hug him goodbye before class, to have sex with him while enveloped in the secret of the night. To give him flowers on a hard day and to make him coffee when he was writing.

He was scared he was going to hurt him? He'd hurt him. He'd nearly seen the end of Dazai and yet Dazai was still here. Was he scared a relationship would hurt Dazai? He already had and they'd worked through it.

Things could come to an end but they also could if they were friends.

Their bond was already profound, deep and emotional enough that a simple break of friendship wasn't enough to destroy them, a relationship wouldn't be much different. They could have died regardless.

And Dazai wanted him too.

Heavens, Dazai had wanted him for so long, Dazai loved him and cared for him, even through all the shit, Dazai was still here.

He always would be.

Why was Chuuya keeping himself (and in turn Dazai) from being happy?

No.

No.

No.

He'd had enough.

Fuck it all.

Chuuya wanted Dazai.

So he was going to get Dazai.

And he was going to keep Dazai.

And he was going to love Dazai.

He sprinted up from the couch, determined to leave while the resilience burned within him.

He grabbed his phone and tucked it into his back pocket, not bothering to see if it was going to fall out.

He grabbed, not his keys but Dazai's and he ran for it.

By the end of this night Dazai was going to be his. And he was going to be Dazai's.

To hell with Shirase and Yuan and the cocaine and the parties. He was done with the bullshit.

Quickly, he slipped on some random slippers, opened the door with adrenaline filled fingers and made a run for it.

Dazai.

Dazai.

Osamu.

During his decent down the corridor, he didn't even realise that he'd ran past Fyodor and Tachihara, who stopped in their tracks to stare back at Chuuya had rounded the corner to the stairs.

"Ahh it seems Chuuya has finally realised," Fyodor said calmly with a smile and a shake of his head.

"About fucking time," Tachihara said with a huff and an equally pleased smile.

Chuuya ran. He ran so fast his lungs burned, sliding down the bars of the stairs, jumping on the last few steps. Huffing, he ran out of the dormitories and through the gate of the courtyard.

The traffic was completely stagnant but that was okay, Chuuya wasn't the type to play by the rules.

Anxious and desperate he slid in between the cars, and at one point he even hopped over the hood of one, his body sliding cleanly on and off it.

He made it to the other side safely and rushed to pull out Dazai's keys, he then pressed them to the outside lock sensors and breathed in deeply when the door clicked, he pulled it open with vigour and raced up the seemingly endless flights of stairs.

The moment he reached Dazai's door, he stuck the keys in one fluid motion and twisted the lock and then proceeded to kick the door; it hit the wall with a loud bang.

Dazai stood there, a little confused, in grey sweatpants and a white t-shirt, he had his phone in his hand, his hair seemed a little damp at the tips; Chuuya could also smell the scent of condensation and shampoo float amongst the apartment.

Exasperated, desperate and on edge.

Chuuya rushed up to Dazai, beautiful, handsome, breath taking, kind, Dazai.

Grabbed him by the collar of his t-shirt.

Lowered him down to his level

And kissed him.

Chuuya kissed him.

Chuuya kissed Dazai.

The brunet didn't respond for a moment -just barely a second- before his phone slipped out of his hand and fell to the floor with a small thump. Dazai's hands wrapped around him tightly, like he was hugging a lover from a distant past, a soft noise of wanting escaping through his lips.

Without meaning too they stumbled back, Chuuya had never been kissed like this before, with so much want. He could almost sense the desperation wafting off of Dazai and onto him, it turned him on unbelievably.

They bumped into the back of the couch and Chuuya took the slight moment of turbulence to slither his hands from where he was clutching Dazai's shirt to wrap around his neck, mouth parting when Dazai's hand slid his hands from Chuuya's upper back to under his shirt and onto his hips.

Their lips parted making way for their tongues and Chuuya was sure he was going to die from heat stroke. His body burned like he'd been planted on the sun, he let out a noise, not sure if he could call it a moan, a keen, a whine or maybe all three.

Somehow, he seated himself on the back of the couch, legs lifting to press them at Dazai' side with his knees raised. The taller kissed him back with vigour, pushing his lips with so much anguish that the smaller found himself almost falling backwards, only to be pulled back closer.

He was sure this was going to last forever but at some point he felt Dazai's kissed start to ease.

Dazai looked at him, eyes heavy, shiny lips parted as he panted.

"Are you drunk?" He asked before kissing Chuuya again as if it didn't matter, like he was content with this, even if it was lie.

"No," Chuuya whispered against his lips, happy and proud that he hadn't taken a sip of alcohol, despite the earlier party.

"High?" Dazai asked again and then kissed him on the lips.

Chuuya kissed back his body floating and shaking, "No. But hi to you too."

Dazai chuckled against his lips and gave him a peck "then?" He said before leaning away.

Chuuya chased his mouth forward, giving the taller another kiss, their eyes meeting "just want someone," he said mysteriously.

Dazai groaned and kissed him again "who?" He asked as if it wasn't obvious.

"You."

"Going to need a name Mon amour," he whispered.

"Dazai."

The brunet smiled against his lips as he secured his hands on Chuuya's waist, "Dazai who?" He asked.

Chuuya moaned, feeling Dazai grip his hips, his head falling forward so their lips grazed "Dazai Osamu. Fuck, I'm in love with Dazai Osamu. With you."

Satisfied, Dazai's hands slipped under Chuuya's ass, lifting Chuuya up, immediately Chuuya wrapped his legs around Dazai's waist their tongues almost moulding into one with zeal.

He was strong, so strong, Chuuya knew Dazai was strong but he didn't know he was this strong, that didn't mean Dazai didn't slam him into a couple walls as they kissed, heat building in between them like a volcano about to erupt.

Their tongues were wet and warm as they met, slipping around each others happily, Dazai's hands squeezed Chuuya's ass as he held him up and Chuuya couldn't help but whine at the feeling, pushing his hips in any direction he could.

It only took a few more bumps into the wall until Dazai kicked the bedroom door open, stumbling towards the bed where he sat down with Chuuya on his lap.

Finally, Chuuya thought, and he began to circle his hips down, he could finally do this freely without the guise of being high or pretend concern. Fucking finally he could allowed himself to feel Dazai's cock pressing into him through the fabric of their clothes.

"Chuuya," Dazai breathed at a particularly good rut of their hips. Chuuya was ecstatic, Shirase never moaned, said it was unmanly and pathetic, but Dazai? Dazai let loose any sound that came about.

On the thought of Shirase, Chuuya wondered what it would be like to give Dazai head, Shirase forced his head down, made him gag and cry in a way that wasn't pleasant and then didn't even kiss him after.

Chuuya was a little bit apprehensive and a tiny but scared but he wanted to see if was it any different. He wasn't sure if he was willing to risk not getting kissed anymore but at the same time the thought of sucking Dazai's cock until he came all over his face and in his mouth was, admittedly, enticing.

"Fuck," Chuuya breathed as Dazai thrust his hips forwards leaving Chuuya with his mouth hanging open.

Out of nowhere Chuuya felt Dazai's lips attach to his neck and he quickly went to grab onto his partner's shoulders, muscles going lax, his head falling sideways to let Dazai explore whatever avenues he wanted.

Dazai nipped and played with his skin, tongue rolling over the spots he bit, apologetically. Chuuya was already rock hard, he thought about bringing one hand down to press into cock, not thinking about the fact that Dazai would not let him do such a thing and that instead... Dazai would do it for him. His hands pressed down onto Chuuya's cock, relishing in the moan that left his lips as he gripped onto Dazai's t-shirt.

He wasn't going to be able to handle more of this, "let me..." he breathed and detached himself slightly away from Dazai to allow himself an easier path down to the floor. Chuuya's knees spread on the floor and he looked up at Dazai "let me suck you off."

Dazai gazed at him carefully, eyes lustful but still caring "are you sure?" He asked, and Chuuya's heart fluttered. He'd never been asked that.

"Mm," he confirmed and then tugged on Dazai's sweatpants, getting a tad bit angry when it wasn't working, "come on, lazy fuck I can't get them down for you."

Dazai smiled and lifted his hips as he tugged his sweatpants down just to his thighs "this alright?" He asked.

Chuuya did the rest of the work from there, pulling them down to Dazai's ankles, where they sat bunched up. He hadn't looked up since then but when he did, he found that Dazai wasn't wearing boxers and he was met with his cock.

Shocked, Chuuya stared and bit his lip, he looked up at Dazai "you weren't lying when you said-" he coughed out a laugh "-Daddy dick,

Dazai looked away to stop himself from bursting out into laughter "you just had to bring that up," he laughed slightly, "no, no I wasn't lying" and he leaned down to kiss Chuuya who reciprocated with a happy wiggle of his body, "I hope its satisfactory."

Chuuya licked his lips and ran his hand experimentally up and down the shaft, Dazai twitched in his hands and groaned. Chuuya took the encouragement and lowered his mouth to the tip, enveloping it all in warmth. And Dazai groaned wonderfully, his head falling back "fucking hell, Chuuya," he moaned as Chuuya lowered his mouth until it was down at the base and then back up and then down again, his mouth making obscene noises as he did so. Dazai groaned and moaned and gripped the sheets next to him and then Chuuya felt the tip of Dazai's cock hit the back of his throat and his eyes fluttered shut, moans vibrating down Dazai's cock and into the rest of the brunet's body.

Dazai was so pliant and needy, it was maddening.

He could feel Dazai's cock twitch every time he lowered himself and came back up. He loved the way Dazai's cock pressed on his tongue, the way it felt hot and heavy, Chuuya had to squeeze his legs together, but even that caused him let out a moan sending Dazai almost over the edge...

"Chuuya-" he moaned and went to card his hand in Chuuya's hair, for a second Chuuya froze, he could almost feel Shirase's hands sliding through his hair and tugging and pushing, no, no, he didn't want to choke and cry and be told that his tears were hot. He didn't want o feel as though he couldn't breath-

No- please don't let Dazai be like him-

But Dazai's hands didn't push down... they simply threaded themselves through Chuuya's hair, massaging his scalp delicately, allowing Chuuya to immediately relax and begin to resume his pace, every time the large head of Dazai's cock slid against the back of his throat, Dazai's hands still on Chuuya's head.

"Shit," he moaned, his head dangling forward "I'm gonn-" he didn't even get a chance to finish his sentence, leaving time for Chuuya to pull away, so that he could at least kiss Dazai again. Cum was already pouring down his throat and for better or worse Chuuya swallowed.

He didn't mean to leave remnant of it on his lips, already mourning the idea that the kisses were done.

He looked up at Dazai, expecting him to eye Chuuya with a hint of disgust, but when he looked he didn't find any indifference laced in his eyes. Instead he found them just as lust filled and satisfied as they were before.

Then without warning Dazai tugged Chuuya forward and smashed their lips together with joy.

Chuuya whined out of surprise and kissed him back happily, following Dazai's body as they fell back onto the bed. Their hips began to rut again and their conjoined mouths let hot air when they caught their breathes.

It was a sudden switch, one second Chuuya was staring down at Dazai, the next he was looking up at him, "hey," Dazai smiled before going in to pepper kisses along Chuuya's neck.

Chuuya moaned "mmf- hi," he greeted back, his fingers floundering for purchase on the sheets, Dazai's hands slid under his blue jumper and Chuuya realised that he didn't want this damn thing on, he wanted Dazai's naked body against his own naked body, "take it off-" Chuuya whined desperately "take of off please-" Dazai chuckled and obeyed, sliding the jumper off in one quick motion, throwing it on the floor.

His tongue left a trail of saliva as it trailed down Chuuya's chest and finally his abdomen, Chuuya watched, enticed as Dazai's tongue circled his skin, his teeth digging in wonderfully into his skin. A hand untangled itself from the bedsheets and Chuuya brought the back of it to his mouth, watching as Dazai tugged his trousers down ever so slightly; exposing his hips to cold and unpleasant air them, leaving Chuuya to shudder, "Dazai," he whined, his back arching off the mattress.

Then he felt Dazai's warm tongue and hard teeth on his hips and Chuuya's breathe stuttered, "That's-" he didn't know what to say, if he was completely honest, a weird tingling sensation erupted through his body every time Dazai's tongue licked a stripe on his hip and his teeth sunk into his skin. The sensation made him want to close his legs but he couldn't because a certain someone was between them, smirking against his skin "Bastard," Chuuya rasped out.

Dazai's smirk only widened "I've always a had the theory that your hips were sensitive," he ruminated and licked over the skin he just bit, his other hand slithered over the top of Chuuya's abdomen, hands grasping the redheads hip-flesh and massaging it tentatively "guess I was right," he muttered before biting down slightly lower than he did before.

Without meaning too Chuuya's hands fluttered forward, tips of his fingers accidentally brushing against the brunets hair "what," he breathed deeply through his nose, feeling lost for air "what gave you that-" Dazai's tongue made contact with his skin again, while his other hand kneaded and rubbed his other hip with reverence, like he was worshiping his god. A staggered and shaky breathe escaped Chuuya and he suddenly forgot what he was going to say.

"Every time I put my hands on your hips, your breath hitches," Dazai stopped his ministrations and looked up "what? You think I didn't notice the way your eyes got all hazy whenever I held onto your hips?" Dazai raised his head and Chuuya turned to look at him, "or the way the moment I held onto them you began to grind your hips?" Dazai chuckled "I didn't forget what happened when we were high, not to mention the whole gaming controller moment," he lowered himself down to peck Chuuya's lips, " it drove me insane when I was alone."

Arching his back, Chuuya wrapped his arms around Dazai's neck, parting his lips to get the message across, which Dazai happily accepted. "Why did you never question what I was doing then?" The ginger asked when they parted with a trail of saliva connecting their lips.

"The first time we were high so I didn't question it and the second time I gaslit myself into thinking it was less than it actually was," the brunet replied before slipping out of Chuuya's grasp and lowering himself to occupy himself with Chuuya's hips again "and anyway, I saw that you had bruises from how hard Shirase held you, I think they deserve some love and appreciation," he went back to kissing and nipping again, while his thumb traced circled on the other one.

If Chuuya wasn't as happy as he was, he would have probably felt embarrassed that he was sensitive in such an odd place. But Dazai seemed very content with worshipping and he couldn't really think of any reason to be embarrassed.

But he didn't want Dazai to just kiss his hips, he didn't want Dazai to just trace his thumb along them or his body, he needed more, and he needed to feel more of Dazai, his t-shirt was still on.

Shakily, he reached for whatever part of Dazai's t-shirt he could -the very top of it, by the neck- and tugged. Dazai looked up at him carefully "off," Chuuya breathed softly "let me see you," he finished.

A splash of red coloured Dazai's face, and he leaned up, grinning Chuuya took the opportunity, swiftly rushing to pull the shirt over Dazai's head. One moment Dazai was fully dressed, the next his t-shirt was on the floor by the bed. The moment his skin was revealed Chuuya went to touching, everywhere and everything, down Dazai's chest, up and down his back, even to his shoulder's and down Dazai's arms, his fingers catching on the bandages. "Sorry," Chuuya muttered looking up at him, finding Dazai with his eyes close and his breathing laboured.

"It's okay," he whispered back, his face still looking on the verge of pain and pleasure.

"What's wrong?" Chuuya asked, his trembling fingers playing with the edge of the gauze.

"I don't know, every time you touch my skin I think I'm gonna explode, especially my scars..." Dazai finally opened his eyes, they looked a little watery, "I'm already hard, god, this has never happened before."

Chuuya bit his lip, pulling Dazai's face close so he could bite and suck on Dazai's neck, he wanted to leave a good impression too. While his teeth dug sensually into Dazai's skin, his hand travelled down to Dazai's erection, taking it into his hand it, a very audible and loud groan coloured the room.

"Oh god-" Chuuya muttered against his skin and Dazai moaned. Actually moaned, that was so hot. He'd never heard another man other than himself moan, and the fact it was Dazai was wondrous. Shirase never made any noise other than an occasional grunt or deep breath as if it diminished his masculinity but Dazai-

He repeated the motion and Dazai's head dropped even lower, sending a sultry moan straight in Chuuya's ear "that's it," the smaller whispered "that's it keep telling me how much you like it."

Chuuya wasn't particularly sure where this was coming from, he'd been much too submissive before but somehow a surge of confidence had overtaken him and he set about taking Dazai in his hands while littering his neck in love bites.

He'd never thought doing something for someone, for the sake of their own pleasure would bring him pleasure.

"Chuuya I want to fuck you so bad," Dazai spoke in a barely audible yet barely restrained moan.

Chuuya pulled away from his neck and tilted Dazai's chin upwards so their eyes met "fuck me then," he responded. Dazai seemed lost for words and oxygen as he stared lustfully at Chuuya "do whatever you want with me, I'm all yours."

There was no warning, no red alarm, or sign. Dazai's arms wrapped around Chuuya all of a sudden, holding him with so much emotion.

His tongue brushed against Chuuya's strongly and languidly, all at the same time, his hands held Chuuya's back tightly, the sound of their mouths connecting and tongues overlapping glided through the walls, creating a strange ring of pleasure in Chuuya's ears. He wasn't even aware of what his body was doing, everywhere he touched was by accident and perfect.

Dazai was no much different, his hands dragging every part of Chuuya's skin down as he touched. They were completely enveloped in each other, the outside world didn't matter, the harsh words, the drugs, the alcohol, the abuse and hurt, none of it mattered anymore. It was just the two of them, like it had been, like it always should have been.

In one swift movement Dazai tapped on Chuuya's hips and somehow -as if they'd danced this dance before- Chuuya knew to lift his hips, his sweatpants were messily taken off, the notion caused Chuuya's phone to fall put and Dazai merely slid it to the edge of the bed and Dazai huffed in exasperation, pulling a laugh from Chuuya's sore lips "why can't you have just run here naked," Dazai pouted.

"Maybe cause I don't want the whole of Yokohama to see my bare ass cheeks and dick swinging about," Chuuya laughed and kissed Dazai's hand.

"I'd make fun of you for a life time if you did that," Dazai mused.

"I'd kill myself so there wouldn't be much of a lifetime."

They both looked at each other and laughed, Dazai lowered himself to press his forehead against Chuuya's "I'd follow you there too."

Chuuya raised his chin a bit and pecked him "I know," he then hooked a finger under the waistband of Chuuya's boxers and tugged them down, Chuuya watched as the taller's breath hitched and suddenly felt a little bashful, he was completely naked in front of Dazai since they were at least six.

He his his face behind his hands and Dazai tugged then away "you're beautiful," he whispered and Chuuya hit him playfully, telling him to shut up. With a grin Dazai slid Chuuya's boxers off his legs, smiling a little when they caught on Chuuya's toes. He tossed them away before kissing Chuuya's ankles and down his leg, nipping the skin a long the way. He wasn't sure when but Chuuya found the back of his hand resting on his mouth as he breathed between his fingers. Dazai worked down his legs, kneading over his kisses and bites, "I've always loved your legs," Dazai commented, "I'd watch as your muscles tenses all the time in High School, I felt so guilty later."

Chuuya looked at him reluctantly, "is that why you stayed under trees at break, watching me play football even though you don't like it?"

Dazai hummed in affirmation "could you reach under the pillow?"

"What for?"

"Lube."

Chuuya raised an eyebrow, looking both unamused and amused at the same time, "Why is it under your pillow?"

"Used it in the morning," the other shrugged.

"With who?" It wasn't that Chuuya was being possessive, he was just curious, Dazai's sex life was rather interesting.

Dazai stopped kissing his inner thought and looked up "myself," he spoke and kissed his thigh one more time "I don't sleep with people anymore."

Chuuya knew why but he felt like asking anyway, he wanted to hear the truth from Dazai.

"Why?"

Such a simple question. And yet it had such a complicated answer

In response Dazai moved upwards to his lips and kissed him, his hand lowering to run his index finger against Chuuya's cock. "Daz-" his back arched of the bed and he thrusted up into the feeling, mouth parting without a sound.

"Because I could sleep with as many people as I want, men and women and everyone in between and at the end of the day none of them would sound or feel as angelic as you do. No one can compare to you" Dazai whispered intimately in his ear and then licked the lobe, tugging on it with his teeth.

Dazai's finger tracing up and down his cock didn't stop but he didn't do anything else and Chuuya couldn't do anything more than moan helplessly and buck for more. He'd completely forgotten the lube but he did catch Dazai's hand slipping under the pillow and the bottle glistening from the light coming from the living room.

Chuuya reached out, hands trembling even worse than they were before and Dazai pulled away gently, surprised but tentative.

"Why won't you give it to me?" Chuuya asked, confused.

"Why would I give it to you?" Dazai asked, equally as confused, judging by his quirked eyebrow. It was comical looking back at it now.

"So I can prep myself?" Chuuya looked at him, his head falling slightly to the side in confusion.

Dazai's expression fell and he caressed Chuuya's cheek with the back of his hand "Oh you silly Slug," Dazai cooed fondly "did that fucker never prep you?"

Chuuya dismissed the nickname and how condescending it was, he looked away, "Yeah, is that not how the procedure goes?" He mumbled, he felt like a shy virgin. And that was the last thing he was.

Dazai kissed him on the lips reassuringly "could be," he spoke, calming Chuuya down from his absolute shame "I'd definitely love to watch you do that but not all the time, if I'm going in you and you'll be in pain I should be the one to do that for you."

Chuuya snorted a little at the absurdity of it all, "people weren't lying by saying you're a gentlemen when I asked them," he smiled a little a the thought.

Hearing Sara say she and Dazai slept together and that she was his first and that he was perfect. It made Chuuya burn inside with jealousy. He remembered losing himself to Shirase after, only that it wasn't Shirase. It had been Dazai in his imagination.

How far they'd come.

"You asked people about my sex life?" Dazai questioned, looking a little smug.

"Shut up!" Chuuya drew in a breath, "I... I was jealous... I just didn't know why."

Dazai smiled against his lips "sounds just like you," he then lowered himself back down, hands following his lips. At first Chuuya thought maybe he's going to give me head, that'll be new but Dazai kept descending and as Chuuya processed his thoughts, he didn't realise what was going on until he felt the flat of Dazai's tongue against his hole.

"What-?!?" His back arched involuntarily and he let out a loud moan. Never mind the head, this was also new, this had never even crossed his mind. Before he knew it his legs were trembling next to Dazai's head and occasionally twitched when something felt particularly good.

Dazai didn't say anything but he let out occasional muffled moans as if he was enjoying himself just by doing this all, he could probably do this all day.

Without even noticing, Dazai had uncapped the lube and poured some on his fingers, he then felt digit replace his tongue, massaging the crack between his cheeks, Chuuya flushed in embarrassment, "this is.." he muttered but couldn't finish his sentence for some unknown reason.

Dazai looked up at him and Chuuya felt another wave of arousal hit him, his lips were glossy and wet from what he'd done, and his eyes half lidded and lusty stared at Chuuya silently.

Then Chuuya felt his finger protrude his body and groaned, he hadn't done this in a while, but it didn't feel bad either, it certainly didn't hurt, just a sharp jut inside. Like he had something that shouldn't be inside of him.

Until Dazai moved his finger, he kept his eyes trained on Chuuya, almost obsessively that Chuuya became hyper of the way he looked, "stop looking at me like that, it's creepy," he said for lack of a better word.

Dazai smirked and lowered himself down "just need to know a little something," he reassured "but also I just find you insanely attractive."

Chuuya huffed and close his eyes "shut up," he whispered and was about to say something a long the lines of 'you're insufferable' until the words were punched out his mouth and instead replaced with a moan. For what felt like a second, his vision blanked and his ears rang, Dazai hit his prostate... with his finger?!

What exactly could this man not do?

A loud moan filtered through the room and Chuuya could barley believe it came from him, he'd never made a sound of that magnitude in his life.

He wasn't even aware that he began to push down, wiggling his hips wildly in a mad chase for that feeling again.

Dazai smiled against his skin "you're so gorgeous," Dazai whispered "so pretty and hot and handsome an-"

Chuuya lifted his hand to slap it on Dazai's mouth "stop-" he whined again when Dazai purposefully missed his prostate "stop with that."

"But you always tighten so wonderfully when I compliment you" he said playfully, it sounded as if he was luring Chuuya into an argument "I didn't know that was a weakness," he mused through Chuuya's fingers.

"It was always to do- ohhh," he threw his head back and his feet arched when Dazai sneakily slid another finger and nudged that bundle of nerves again, Chuuya wasn't sure he could even finish his sentence, the exorable amount of pleasure that just burst through his body, deeming him speechless but despite himself he persevered, "-with my body, always so hot, so sexy, never- never gorgeous or beautiful-"

Dazai exhaled in annoyance against the skin of Chuuya's chest, "it's cause that man has no experience in sex talk."

Chuuya looked at him with ragged breathes, feeling slightly patronised "must you always remined me that you've slept around?" He murmured, a pout forming on his lips for about three seconds before it got eradicated by another particularly satisfactory nudge inside of him.

Dazai kissed him "sorry, Mon amour, I'll behave," he replied cheekily.

What neither of then were expecting was for Chuuya's back to arch off the bed, Dazai hadn't even done anything but thrust his fingers at relatively the same pace as before and yet Chuuya was just about ready to levitate off the bed.

"Mon amour?" Dazai tested.

And Chuuya groaned loudly.

Ahh, so that was it.

Thankfully Dazai didn't torture him any longer, and slid a third finger in, spreading his entrance further and thrusting in with strong force.

Chuuya couldn't fathom anything around him anymore, his hands flew up to grip onto the pillow and he thrust his hips downwards, not even aware that he was chasing a much needed orgasm.

Unfortunately Dazai wrapped his other hand around the base of Chuuya's cock and began to pump at the same pace as his fingers.

"Fuckkkkk..." Chuuya moaned, his vision was blacking out (really because he kept opening and closing his eyes without knowing), his ears were ringing. Honestly, he thought he was going to die, he'd never been bombarded with this much pleasure in his life, part of him felt like he should rip himself away before he opened his eyes and found himself in heaven.

But his body said otherwise, the coil in his stomach -which had become ever-present with a wonderful fluttering- shook. Then, before he knew it, a loud moan- almost scream- came from somewhere distant in the room amongst all the ringing in his ears.

His breathing was harsh and uncalculated and he could barely bring himself to open his eyes. His body felt distant and strange, every move made him exert great effort, his limbs felt like they weighed fifty pounds each.

Somehow he was brought back to his body by benign kisses to his collar bone and firm hands stroking his arms, he tried to speak but his words -at least to his own ears- came out jumbled.

"You with me love?" He heard Dazai speak distantly over the ringing in his ears.

Chuuya's toes curled at the pet name, his heart (which was beginning to slow) doing a pathetic stutter in his chest, he couldn't bring himself to speak so he hummed in acknowledgement.

When he finally manged to open his eyes again, his trembling hands went to card themselves through Dazai's hair and tugged him slightly upwards so they could connect their lips again.

He felt Dazai smile against him, honestly Chuuya wouldn't have thought he liked kissing so much. Maybe it was because he barely received any. Either way, he'd be willing to kiss Dazai until he ran out of oxyge-

Then he felt it, something hard against his naked and sensitive thigh, the two of them let out a shuddering breath.

Chuuya could feel his cock already begin to throb against his stomach again and he lazily dropped his head to the side when Dazai groaned again.

Chuuya raised his thigh bit, struggling to move, and rubbed it against Dazai's erection, earning a very rewarding moan from the taller.

Dazai, having neglected himself all night, sort of lost it, he began to rut his hips against Chuuya's thigh, finally brining the last of Chuuya's consciousness back. "I love your body," Dazai praised between moans, his eyebrows furrowed "I hated seeing you lose weight from far away, I-" he whined and Chuuya had to physically restrain himself from doing something to pull that sound out of Dazai again. "I loved the shape of your body, the way you took care of it- it- destroyed me when I saw how thin you were," he moved his hand to conjoin it with Chuuya's "I love the way you are," Without waiting an longer and knowing that Dazai's thinning self restarting would snap (and his own at this point, he liked being praised), the smaller reached down and took Dazai's cock into his hands, stopping for a second when he received a moan only to resume again at the encouragement, he massaged the head with his thumb and then slid his hands down and up a little, smearing the pre-cum down his shaft. Chuuya knew he should probably keep his eyes on his movements, but he couldn't keep his eyes off Dazai. The way his mouth was parted to let hot moans through, sometimes Dazai closed eyes only to open them a little bit, as if he was trying to look at Chuuya until they fell closed again when Chuuya did something particularly good.

Dazai's hands then slid towards Chuuya's ass again, sliding his finger around his rim, somehow he managed to reach out for the lube and Dazai quickly coated himself in it, hissing at the cold slimy feeling, he leaned over Chuuya and kissed him.

Chuuya wrapped himself around Dazai, spreading his legs wider while his arms pulled tighter.

Dazai angled himself over Chuuya, teasing the entrance a few times "stop- stop teasing you-" Chuuya stuttered and mustered a very weak glare, "you're just as desperate as I am and you still insist on being a shit."

Dazai laughed against his lips and Chuuya felt warmth bubble up in his chest at the sound "it's not to tease, it feels good," The other whispered.

"Would feel better inside, you know if you hurried up a bi- oh fuck!" Dazai pushed in past the first ring of muscle. Despite the size Chuuya had no problem accompanying him, at least having sex so often amounted to something useful.

In fact it didn't take long until Dazai was balls deep and Chuuya, for better or for worse couldn't bring himself to do anything.

Because someone needed to explain to him why Dazai was just shy of hitting his prostate already?!

"Yeah," Dazai moaned "you're so-" he opened his eyes to look at Chuuya and for a moment Chuuya wondered if Dazai was just going to spout some shit about his body, like Shirase had,

"You're so fucking perfect for me," he finished and Chuuya felt himself tighten around Dazai.

"Don't move for a second," Chuuya whispered, overwhelmed by the feeling "I think I'm going to die."

Dazai, in spite of himself, laughed "I thought I was supposed to be the dramatic one."

Chuuya punched him lightly in the chest "Shut up," he laughed back "I'm just- overwhelmed."

"Would it make you feel better if I said I feel the same?"

"Yes?" Chuuya replied a little unsure, he then placed his hands on Dazai's shoulders and Dazai got the message that he could move.

With the first thrust Chuuya already felt a piece of his sanity leave him "oh-" he moaned.

Dazai's pace began slow, spending most of his time looking at Chuuya as Chuuya looked back at him too. And then, purely by accident, Dazai rocked straight into Chuuya's prostate, thrusting unintentionally a little bit harder, his balls slapping against Chuuya's ass.

Chuuya threw his head back and his toes curl "there!" He screamed, voice cracking in pleasure, "please there!" It was so good, so, so good.

Dazai kissed his cheek and remained at that angle thrusting slow at first, just enough to not overwhelm Chuuya, "Good?" He asked, keeping his pace even.

Chuuya's head fell to the side, his nose digging into the side of Dazai's temple, his breathy moans landing directly in Dazai's ears. It caused Dazai to move his arm upwards, so that he was cradling Chuuya's head.

"Faster," Chuuya moaned loudly, "Go faster," he kissed Dazai's scarred arm, "more," and then lapped his tongue over a particularly jagged scar.

Dazai shuddered, seemingly enjoying the feeling of Chuuya lapping at the sensitive skin of his arm so lazily "As you wish, my love," Chuuya's toes curled again, he was sure he was going to die if Dazai kept using his scandalous tongue like that.

Dazai's pace began to quicken, every time he hit Chuuya's prostate, dead on, as if their bodies were meant to connect in this way. Chuuya wasn't sure at which point his eyes began to roll back in his head and his mouth became dry from how open he kept it. Their unified moans danced around them, paired with the sounds of their bodies meeting and disconnecting in a perfect tandem. Dazai began to pull out so far until he almost completely slipped out and then slammed himself into Chuuya again, over and over, jolting Chuuya's body forward and back again obscenely.

"Shit Chuuya," he whined.

Chuuya couldn't reply, couldn't say anything, every time Dazai thrusted up, the words were knocked out of his lungs, even if he did try to speak, they just came out in broken moans, Dazai was vigorous and so good, so, so good.

Nothing could stop them, they were here and they were perfect. Even if an earthquake hit, or a tsunami Chuuya would remain right here getting speared in half by Dazai until there was an imprint of their bodies in the mattress and archeologists dug up their skeletons and blush at the implication of their potions. Until neither of them could cum anymore.

Nothing would stop them.

Ring.

Ring.

Ring.

Chuuya groaned at the sudden stop of delirious thrusts, both their heads turned to look at Chuuya's phone, illuminating brightly and vibrating violently enough through the mattress that Chuuya felt sensitive to it.

Dazai slid his hand towards the phone and then tilted the screen in their direction so they could see who it was.

Shirase

Displayed the screen.

Of course that bastard had to ruin this too.

"Just ignore it," Chuuya mumbled, turning to kiss Dazai on the lips, he felt Dazai fiddle with his phone for a second and then he sat up, Chuuya watched him press a button and so he closed his eyes waiting for Dazai's to start again-

"Oh hello Shirase!" Chuuya's eyes snapped open and he gasped at Dazai, "what the hell are you doing?!" He whispered-shouted "are you craz-"

Dazai thrust up inside of and his sentence got caught by a moan, Chuuya slapped his hand over his mouth, biting down on his finger to stop himself from moaning loudly again as Dazai absentmindedly thrust into him.

He looked at Dazai with a weak glare, happy that at least Dazai also looked a little bothered, judging by his furrowed eyebrows and the way he swallowed thickly whenever Chuuya clenched around him.

"Hmm? Oh, Chuuya? He's a bit-" his gaze flickered to Chuuya, who was busy trying to keep from his eyes rolling into the back of his head, Dazai smirked "-busy right now."

He then moved the phone away from his ear and pressed another button, Chuuya was past hoping he would end it.

"What do you mean he's busy?" Shirase's voice rang through the room and if Chuuya wasn't busy trying to keep his whimpers quiet he would have scoffed.

Dazai thought for a second "He's doing a bit of exercise," he grinned.

So that's what this was.

Revenge.

Shirase scoffed on the other side of the phone "since when does he do anything but study?"

Dazai hummed, hands sliding to Chuuya's hips to push him down, shuddering a little when their bodies touched again. Chuuya was biting down onto his finger but it didn't stop a whine from escaping Chuuya's lips, his heart stopped.

"What was that?" Chuuya's eyes winded in a panic "eh, whatever," oh, thank god. Chuuya thought, "I don't care what he does. I need to speak to him," Chuuya shook his head at Dazai, he didn't want to speak to Shirase, not now, not ever. He didn't want this moment to be ruined.

"He said he can't," Dazai replied.

"Do you think I give a shit?" Shirase replied and then another voice was heard "Yeah I'm getting him to talk, yes, yes okay," Dazai visibly raised an eyebrow but Chuuya didn't care as he thrusted his hips downwards, poking his own prostate and thrashing amongst the bed sheets.

"Anyway can you hand him over?" The silver haired boy said over the phone.

Dazai shrugged, shooting Chuuya a smirk, this was bad. "well, if you insist."

He placed the phone by Chuuya's ear on the bed and lowered himself to trail quiet kisses from his hips to his neck.

"Sh-Shirase?" Chuuya breathed huskily, at least it sounded like he was exercising.

"Huh? I thought that fucker was lying? I never thought I'd hear the day when you're actually doing something that's not..."

Chuuya suppressed a groan when Dazai bit down on his shoulder and thrusted at the same time, "not what?" He asked.

"I don't know... being pathetic? That's a a bad word..." he muttered.

Chuuya tensed slightly and Dazai must have felt it because he kissed him on the lips, as if to say that he was anything but pathetic.

"Just tell me what you want," so I can end this damn call and be done with your shit, Chuuya wanted to say.

"Come back to the party Chuuya!" A bubbly voice spoke on the other side and Chuuya's eyes widened, even Dazai paused, raising his head to look at Chuuya in the eyes, concern etching onto his features.

It was Yuan.

She was obviously drunk or high, out of her mind, otherwise she wouldn't be uttering a word to Chuuya right now but even so a swell of anger was welling up.

"What the fuck?" Chuuya snapped.

"Come back," Shirase said, ignoring the awful situation he'd just put himself in and he didn't even know Chuuya was getting dicked down, "we miss you."

Chuuya scoffed "do you miss me or do you miss fucking me?" He snarled.

There was silence, "come on babe-"

'My love, Mon amour, Mon cheri'

Chuuya cut him off  "don't fucking call me that."

"What's up with you? You're being so rude and I'm being so nice."

There was murmuring somewhere in the background as if multiple people, all presumably crowding around the phone, to hear the commotion, and Chuuya?

Quite frankly he's had enough.

"What's up with me?!" Chuuya raised his voice, picking up the phone. Dazai just ran his hands down his body a subtle smirk very present, "what's up with me?! Don't bullshit me with your manipulating shitty lies about missing me, god, I'm so fucking sick of you and your cotton candy whore," Chuuya felt Dazai smirk against his skin again, but he hadn't moved, content with just sliding his hands on Chuuya's skin, encouraging him softly.

"Chuu-"

"No, I've had enough. Your an abusive piece of shit, who's dog awful at sex. Don't get me wrong I fucking hate Yuan but even I have enough sympathy to tell her to get away from that tiny, unpleasant dick of yours. Can't even make a man cum, god help any of the women you sleep with!" A bunch of oos were heard in the background and neither Shirase or Yuan said anything.

Dazai's grin widened.

"You're a lying, cheating, manipulative, drug taking, clothe burning, abusive dick! Don't ever contact me again. Don't ever get close to me agai-"

Unfortunately Chuuya's well deserved speech was interrupted by a high pitched moan, his eyes rolled to the back of his head and his hands jumped to clutch onto the pillow as Dazai began to speed up. The sound of Dazai's balls slapping again Chuuya's ass, as he propped Chuuya's leg on his shoulder pushing himself even deeper, echoing around the room. "shittt... Dazai..." Chuuya whined, bucking his hips upwards When Dazai thrusted yet again at the perfect angle.

Dazai chuckled darkly and kissed Chuuya, their lips making wet and obscene noises as they smacked together.

Most likely realising, that Chuuya was done with the conversation Dazai picked up the phone "I told you Chuuya was a little busy~" he ended the call and threw the phone to the edge of the bed.

Later, jokingly (it wasn't a joke) they would it an act of possessiveness, because Dazai didn't decline the call.

"You're so hot when you tell someone else off, darling," Dazai praised and Chuuya's leg twitched next to Dazai's head.

"He-" Chuuya took in a deep shaky breath "he fucking deserves it."

Dazai smiled "he does," he agreed and then went to hold Chuuya's hands, which were splayed out against the sheets "tell me," he started "Am I better than him?"

Chuuya would have scoffed if he could have but he couldn't and the only thing that came out was a staggered breath, "fuck yeah, you feel so good," he started "fuck me so good."

"Yeah?" Dazai replied smugly, dropping Chuuya's leg off his shoulder to lean down and kiss him.

Chuuya's ankles interlocked around Dazai's waist, pushing him deeper "you're so," he started getting cut off by a mewl of pleasure "I can't-more Dazai, more, fuck faster."

Dazai obliged, drilling into Chuuya again, his cock spearing Chuuya open which each thrust.

His nails dragged into Dazai's skin, and when he smoothed his palms over Dazai's shoulder blades he could feel the slightly raised his skin from his scratches, he didn't know how much longer he was going to be able to take it. Dazai filled him up in ways he didn't even know possible, hell, he didn't even know he could enjoy sex this much.

The words tumbled out of his mouth before he could even consider the consequences "Osamu," he moaned and then his breath caught up with him "Osamu, Osamu, Osamu- fuck, I love you," he cried.

A harsh thrust, sent Chuuya's body forward and then he whined suddenly when those beautiful, searing thrusts came to a halt suddenly, "why-?" He wanted to question but his voice was a little sore so it came out in the form of a hushed whisper.

At first he thought maybe the phone was ringing again, so he turned his head to look but the screen was blank and he couldn't feel any vibrations coming from it. Confused, he looked up at Dazai, eyes widening when he saw crystal tears sliding down Dazai's face. He reached up tentatively and cupped his cheeks "Oh, love," the words came so naturally it didn't even cross his mind that he'd said them.

Dazai didn't, or more accurate couldn't bring himself to say anything, instead he wrapped his arms around Chuuya's back, tightly, digging his face into the side of Chuuya's marked neck and rocked them back until Chuuya was sitting comfortably on Dazai's lap (and cock, which had prodded into Chuuya's prostate again but he'd ignored it in favour of comforting his lover).

"What's wrong Samu?" He asked, wiping Dazai's tears away with his thumb and kissing his cheek softly.

Dazai sniffled and occasionally inhaled through staggered breaths, "it's just you don't know how much I wished you would say you love me like this. It feels like a dream," he cried.

Chuuya pecked his lips and his cheeks, tasting, but not minding, the salty tears. "This isn't a dream Osamu. This is real."

Dazai laughed, but it seemed self deprecating rather than happy and he tightened his hold on Chuuya's hips "you don't know how many times you've said that to me before."

To say that Chuuya was a little perplexed would be an understatement but he didn't feel like unravelling all of Dazai's poetic riddles tonight, so he kept quiet.

Instead, he held him and cradled him, bringing his scarred forearms to his lips to kiss them. He kissed Dazai's lips with the type of gentleness you would only have with a new born, like he would break if he went any harder. He brushed his dark wavy hair behind his ears and pushed his fringe upwards to kiss his forehead. Never once did he tell Dazai to stop crying, that he was his now, that everything he'd been through amounted to this.

Because Dazai deserved to cry, deserved to finally let the years and years of unrequited clandestine feelings out, he deserved to let that dam break.

"Sorry," he finally whispered "I made it awkward," trying to wipe his tears away.

"It's not awkward. I want to take care of you when you cry. Like this, intimately not platonically," Chuuya reassured him with a peck.

Dazai looked up at him, his eyes still watery "more than just tonight?" He asked, as if Chuuya was just using him, it didn't hurt Chuuya, he understood being scared that you weren't enough.

"For as long as you'll have me."

Dazai embraced him tightly "forever," he whispered.

Chuuya carded his hands through his hair and rest his cheek on the top of Dazai's head, "forever it is then."