"What took so long?"

"I walked."

"You always walk."

"Took my time."

Shirase didn't look pleased but Chuuya ignored it and sat down on the couch, bringing his knees to his chest, making himself as small as possible. Shirase on the other hand, sat with his legs spread wide open, his arms outstretched on the back of the couch hogging the entire thing. Nervously, Chuuya tugged the sleeves of the hoodie further down onto his hands.

"You've been wearing that hoodie a lot."

"I know."

"Why? You do have other clothes."

Chuuya considered if he should tell the truth at first, he didn't want Shirase to get angry.

But then he decided that he couldn't care less. "Cause its Dazai's."

"What you wearing Dazai's hoodie for?"

"Cause I want to."

Shirase didn't look happy with that, he glared at the thing and then looked up at his 'boyfriend'. Chuuya knew that gaze and even though he felt his anxiety rising and his breathing becoming increasingly difficult, he didn't back down "if you fucking touch this hoodie. I'll kill you."

Shirase looked taken aback by that, Chuuya had been quiet and submissive lately. Since their last argument, Chuuya just sat down and took what was given.

The thing about his relationship with Shirase was that so much shit had happened between the two of them, things that had scared and traumatised Chuuya and got him to shut down immediately that Shirase didn't know the type of person Chuuya truly was.

He didn't know that Chuuya was not the type of person to fuck around with.

But if Shirase did anything, he might just have to be like that again.

"Touch this hoodie for any other reason than to put it in the wash or in a drawer and we'll have problems."

Shirase rolled his eyes, "Calm the fuck down. I just don't like that you're wearing some other guys hoodie."

"You don't like anything that I wear. You only like me naked," the redhead griped angrily, pulling the sides of the hoodie around his body as if it was a shield. He sat there for a minute or two longer but in the end got up and grabbed his backpack, swinging it over his shoulder and then looped his arm through the other strap, "you're not getting shit from me today and you're not getting anywhere this hoodie. Don't cross the line," he snarled, quickly attempting to escape but as usual Shirase grabbed his wrist.

Again.

A sense of panic shot through Chuuya and he whipped his head around as if he should be dodging a bullet.

Shirase wasn't looking at him threateningly and so Chuuya relaxed a little, "Listen just please stop wearing-" the other began.

"Fuck off," Chuuya shrugged his hand away and shoved it in his pockets, away and sealed from the latter, "can't fucking deal with it? Not my problem. Grow the fuck up. I put up with your shit everyday. Don't like what I'm wearing? Well too bad."

"What shit-"

"What shit?!?!?" Chuuya laughed at the absurdity of it all "let me remind you of all the shit you've put me through, yeah? Slapped me, and made me feel guilty for dressing the way I wanted. Burned my clothes. Takings drugs and I'm not talking about weed I'm talking about fucking cocaine. And... the fact You're still cheating?" Shirase's eyes widened and Chuuya scoffed, feeling both in disbelief at the audacity and amused by it, "what? You thought you were being sneaky? That I didn't know? Please, if you're going to cheat then try not to do it behind a goddamn Christmas tree."

"Then if I'm cheating then why don't you break up with me?"

Chuuya knew the answer but he couldn't bring himself to say it.

He didn't want Shirase to know that, somewhere deep inside, he cared for him, as toxic as that was.

"Let's turn that question around." Chuuya began, eyes growing increasingly narrow with disband "Why are you still with me when you're clearly in love with Yuan?"

"That's for me to know," Shirase answered coldly, silver eyes blazing with anger.

"Then there's my answer to your question." With that Chuuya opened the door and slammed it shut as he left. He didn't know where to go but in the end, he decided that he wanted to go where he felt safest. Dazai's home.

When he got there, he remembered that he hadn't eaten today. So, he took to looking through the fridge.

He stopped, staring at the kitchen, lapis eyes stopping at the knife drawer and then looked towards the floor. A deep sigh flooded from his body as he closed his eyes painfully. Suddenly, the kitchen felt depressing, he could -even if he hadn't been there- picture Dazai's bloodied body. He could picture his tear-stained face and his heart cried terribly at the mental picture.

Almost instantaneously, Chuuya didn't feel hungry anymore but he pushed through. It was his brain telling him he didn't deserve it. And he did. He did deserve to eat.

When he finally mustered up the courage to look through the fridge, his heart summer saluted . There was no food!

No, he couldn't allow himself to feel genuine joy.

There was no food but that didn't mean there weren't any ingredients. And Chuuya knew how to cook. So did Dazai but he was lazy, now that he really thought about it, he should have expected the fridge to be empty. Happy with his decision, Chuuya took the hoodie off and placed it on the back of the couch, he took his hair tie off his wrist and tied up his hair.

He opened the kitchen window and closed the door to the kitchen so the smell of food didn't waft through the apartment and for safe measure he also opened the living room window.

Chuuya got to cooking, he hadn't done this for a long time so he forgot how to do certain things, but he was quickly getting the hang of it. Eventually, he lost track of time, and was so busy focusing on what he was doing that he didn't even realise the front door open, or the kitchen door open.

And he certainly didn't know about the way Dazai was watching him with parted lips at the doorway.

He only knew that now because it was a common occurrence.

Chuuya was only pulled away from his concentration when he felt hands slip around his waist and a head rest on his shoulder.

"I didn't know I had a housewife," Dazai whispered, Chuuya really wished Dazai would stop doing that.

"Shut up," he muttered back before turning around, very aware that Dazai had him trapped between his body and the counter.

Chuuya swallowed nervously.

He was beginning to think that his low libido wasn't because of his mental health....

They looked at each other, oh, he wanted to kiss him so bad.

Chuuya wanted to kiss him and have Dazai push him on the counter and then fuck him against it.

Dismissing the thought with a nervous swallow, he raised the spoon with what he was cooking to Dazai's lips "have a taste."

That sounded naughty.

He didn't mean it like that.

Dazai complied regardless, taking the spoon into his mouth. He licked the spoon clean, eyes darting up to Chuuya's occasionally.

Oh my god.

Was that how Dazai used his mouth? Chuuya was sure he was going to pass out.

"Is it...is it good?" Why did that sound wrong too?

"Woah! This tastes like Kyoyo's cooking!" Dazai finally stopped borderline pushing Chuuya against the counter and did a little jump in the air "when is it going to be done?" He asked enthusiastically.

"About twenty minutes."

He did a little body shake "Okay! I'll set the table then-"

"Don't drop the plates! You always do that when you're excited," Chuuya chided as he waved the now clean spoon around in the air, his other hand perched on his hip.

"Worry not my dear chibi, I will be as careful as possible!" Dazai said in a mock English accent.

For the first time, most likely ever, Chuuya didn't retaliate and at the chibi comment, he was glad to hear that again.

And Dazai managed to set down the table without doing anything stupid and shortly after Chuuya brought in the food. Despite the earlier pushback from his stomach, Chuuya found that he felt happy to be eating homemade food with Dazai, in a home environment. So happy, in fact, that he didn't even have time to feel sick about eating.

"How did your talk with Shirase go?"

"We argued, he looked like he wanted to do something about me wearing your hoodie-" he noticed the concerned expression on Dazai's face "don't worry, I dealt with it," Chuuya smiled, giving his leg a gentle nudge under the table "I don't think he'll bother me for a few days."

Dazai immediately untensed and nodded "think we can spend those days together?" He seemed uncertain about asking.

Chuuya shrugged as he took a bite and chewed, "Sure, but I'm still studying," his mouth was full, but he allowed himself to be ill-mannered, he knew better, but it was okay to relax a little.

"I was going to ask you about that."

"About what?"

"Why were you studying so much?" Dazai reached over and lured himself a glass of water"I mean you studied in High school when it mattered but never as much as I see you study now," he finished before lifting the glass and taking massive gulps.

Chuuya paused, placing his chopsticks down, eyes on the food, he'd eaten more than he usually did, "honestly, it took my mind off things for a while but also because I was considering transferring."

Dazai choked and quickly placed the glass down, wiping his mouth while he stared at Chuuya with a panicked expression, it was like Chuuya could hear the sound of the younger's heart dropping onto the floor.

"I couldn't handle being here, everything reminded me of you, it was painful. So I thought about it and decided maybe I'd transfer somewhere else, maybe even France," he looked up at Dazai and slid his hand over the table to grab onto one of Dazai's fingers, offering him a sincere smile, "don't worry, I'm not transferring now. I just like having good grades, especially since I was doing so poorly because of how much I skipped."

Dazai looked down at their hands and sighed "don't..." he looked pained, almost guilty but he continued "please don't leave me."

Sympathetically, Chuuya squeezed his finger "I'm not planning on it partner."

After that, they sat in silence, Chuuya decided that it was best to change the topic "is there anything in particular that you'd like to do?" He asked, thinking it was better to encourage the latter to say what he wanted.

Dazai shrugged, apathetically, "not really, just want to spend time with you."

"Hmm okay, we'll figure out day by day then."

"Sounds good to me."

The next day they went to class and straight after Chuuya dragged Dazai to the library.

There were two sections the library, which is something Chuuya actually didn't even know existed, apparently their library had a silent section and a talking section. Normally Chuuya would have gone to the silent section as he didn't have anyone to talk to anyway. But he was with Dazai and he could never shut up, he was also never ever able to stop complaining about doing schoolwork, so they stayed on the bottom floors where people could actually converse with each other.

Still, it made Chuuya happy, some things never change.

"Do we have to go in here? Can't we just go to mine and study?"

Chuuya turned and looked up at him, raising an eyebrow "What is it with you and protesting about this?" Dazai had been complaining and had been very keen on steering Chuuya away from the library, like he had a vendetta against it.

"Cause..." Dazai wasn't looking at him "well... you see..." then he scratched the back of his head, still not making eye contact.

Chuuya tongued his cheek in irritation "spit it out already. I'm not holding a gun to your head."

"I kinda got... you know...? Kicked out," he stopped in his track, "One time," he added quickly and then began to walk again.

Well, that makes two of them, but Chuuya had a sneaking suspicion that it was for a completely different reason.

"Go on..." he egged on.

"So there was this girl and just to be clear Ididn'tdoanything-"

"Slow the fuck down," Chuuya snapped and Dazai winced.

"Well she started touching me and my hands were under the table so it looked like... you know... we were up to something ."

"So you got kicked out of the library because the librarian thought you were getting nasty?"

Dazai opened his mouth and raised his finger to protest but then just froze, clearly lost for a comeback "Yeah..."

"Well, you're not getting up to that with me so I'm sure it'll be fine."

Dazai grumbled, Chuuya was smart enough to decipher to pick up on the fact it sounded like 'wish we were' but he decided to pretend he'd heard wrong.

"And anyway the librarian here kicked me out for the complete opposite reason so I'm sure if you're with me, it'll be fine," he then began to walk, Dazai didn't move for a few seconds but he quickly caught up, strides matching.

Dazai huffed and went to hold onto Chuuya's wrist so he didn't fall behind from how fast the smaller was walking, "what did you get kicked out for?" He then asked.

Chuuya didn't look at him and sighed "stayed in there once for like eleven hours straight with only bathroom breaks, so she kicked me out."

"Without eating?"

"Yeah," Chuuya pushed the door open, holding it open for Dazai, "pretty much."

When they walked in, they stopped to look at some tables, wondering where to sit. There was one of those encased group tables and after Chuuya scanned the library for a good place to study, he tugged Dazai by the hand and led him there.

Neither of them expected the librarian to just jump from in between the shelves right in front of them. "Nakahara and Dazai," she gave them a pointed look "you seem to be doing well."

"We are miss," Chuuya answered with a polite bow.

She turned to Dazai "I hope you're not here to do something you shouldn't be." Dazai was going to speak but she cut him off "but you are with Nakahara so I assume it will all be okay."

"Yes ma'am, I'm here to study."

"As always," she smiled but then turned serious again "please don't stay here for too long I would hate to kick you out for not eating."

"Well its not like Chuuya and I are going to start shag-"

"Will you shut it! You're making us seem suspicious and I -" he pointed his finger to Dazai chest "am" he poked it once "here" he poked him even more aggressively "to study."

"But Chuuya we need to make sure she doesn-"

"Shut up!" He pulled on Dazai's coat "I'm sorry ma'am. We won't be doing anything I'd rather kiss a rat than have him anywhere near me."

"Chuuya! You'd rather kiss Fyodor-"

"Shut the fuck up!"

As Chuuya dragged him away, people could hear the whining from Dazai and the swearing from Chuuya. even so Chuuya saw the librarian laugh under her breath at them. Well, it wasn't particularly surprising, all the times Chuuya had come here, he'd come alone and looked nothing short of dead, she was most likely glad to see him socializing and being more outgoing.

They sat down at the tables and Chuuya shoved his face into his hands with a deep and tired exhale "you are a nightmare."

"I was simply trying to make sure she didn't think we were going to start getting freak here! It is an enclosed cubicle and-"

"It's you! You're the freaky one here and hammering your point like that made it look like we were! Nobody was thinking that but you!"

"But she doesn't know that! Maybe I'd influence a good little student like-"

"Say one more word. And I will kick you in the nuts."

The brunet pouted "fine..."

They pulled their books out after that, Chuuya wasn't in the mood to have everyone in this library think that he and Dazai were going to have sex here, not that he would be opposed to it, if Dazai asked him to, right here in front of everyone, he would. But he would still want to study, before or after...

Or during... that was also an enticing idea.

No! Absolutely not! He shook his head, thoroughly disappointed in himself.

Shortly after Dazai stopped whining as much he also pulled his books out, he managed a good thirty minutes of studying but sooner or later he began poking Chuuya and huffing and complaining and doing all Dazai-esk things.

For the most part Chuuya was able to block most of it out. Years of dealing with Dazai taught him this skill.

Until, somewhere, in the distance, Chuuya smelt the stench of weed wafting through the air, if he could smell it from wherever this person was, this individual must either not have showered or smoked a ton before he walked in.

"It smells like weed," Dazai muttered, then peeked out of the cubicle to take a look at the culprit  "oh shit."

"What?"

"It's Shirase and some other kid."

Chuuya immediately froze and whipped his head around "shit, you're right," he looked back "put your head down! I don't want to put up with him right now."

Dazai huffed, "Too late he's already seen us."

"Shit."

They pretend to be writing, even though Chuuya couldn't concentrate. He felt his breathing become unstable, Dazai and Shirase hadn't seen each other since they'd had their fight and Chuuya was feeling so anxious. Not to mention embarrassed, he was dating a junkie. Many would assume he wasn't hygienic, Chuuya would too, if he hadn't had the displeasure of knowing him.

Dazai kicked his leg slightly, Chuuya looked up and saw Dazai flash him a reassuring smile, he then felt Dazai's legs rest against his and Chuuya managed to reign his breathing back to normal.

"Chuuya."

Chuuya looked up at Shirase "Hey."

"What are you doing here?" He asked, while leaning against the edges of the cubicle with his arms in his pockets.

Chuuya had to keep himself from rolling his eyes, what else would he be doing in the library? (Not including his earlier thoughts). "Studying, obviously."

Shirase looked at Dazai, eyes narrowing slightly, a smile played at his lips when he focused his eyes on the small scar on Dazai's lip, it made Chuuya want to punch him "hello, Dazai," he said smugly.

"Hi" Dazai smiled as if he and Shirase had no problems, like was greeting a friend, Chuuya could see the resentment in his smile.

They glared at each other dangerously before Shirase broke eye contact to look at Chuuya, "There's gonna be a party later, are you going to come?" Shirase asked.

"Depends on whether Sara is coming," Chuuya shrugged.

"What does Sara have to do with it?"

"I made promises."

A contemplating, awkward, silence followed but eventually, Shirase responded, "No, she's not coming."

"Alright then," Chuuya picked up his pen to indicate that the conversation was over. But he did add one more thing. "Also you should get out of here, you reek of weed."

Shirase pulled up his t-shirt to smell it "I don't smell anything."

"Obviously that's not how it works," Chuuya bit back.

Shirase looked at them as if the idea that he smelled of an illegal substance wasn't his main concern "is it just you two?"

Chuuya wanted to speak but Dazai butted in "Yup! Just me and Chuuya," Chuuya kicked him under the table  "is there a problem with me spending with my best friend?" He questioned innocently, batting his eyelashes, part of Chuuya wanted to laugh but he kept himself compose despite it.

Shirase put his hands in his pockets and shrugged "depends. Are you going to be studying?"

"What else? We're in a library?" Dazai looked at him smugly, knowing full well he put the blame on the other. As if they hadn't both thought about the fact they would very much like to do something other than study. Dazai sat forwards, folding his arms "look here Shirase. I don't like you. And I don't like that you're with Chuuya," his eyes darkened significantly.  "but if I was going to take Chuuya from you I would have done so already. So lay off Chuuya, yeah?"

Shirase sneered in his direction "fine," and then stalked off like a child throwing a tantrum.

Chuuya sighed and sank into his seat, he hoped he wouldn't be reprimanded for this, "you made it sound suspicious again."

"Don't care, he was irritating me," Dazai clicked his teeth and then picked up his pen, appearing as though he was going to write but by the looks of was too angry to form a thought and instead he began to tap the en dor his pen against the desk.

Chuuya smiled in defeat at him and shook his head "Yeah."

Neither spoke for a while, both kept their eyes glued on the books they had. Chuuya was actually beginning to concentrate well when Dazai spoke again. Typical.

"What's weed even like?"

Oh yeah. The two of them had never managed to smoke together because Chuuya had fallen victim to the fast life.

Even if they'd made a promise that their first-time smoking weed would be together.

Chuuya decided to answer Dazai's question before the proposal he was going to make "depends on the person really. Makes me either super hyper or super relaxed."

Dazai sighed "yeah, I saw the video."

"Do you still have them?"

Dazai seemed to wonder whether he should answer truthfully, he did, "I do have them," he sighed "not because I want to look at you have a mental breakdown but just because if Yuan or Shirase ever get themselves into trouble I'll have something to use against them."

Chuuya had never seen the photos or videos before "can I see?"

The brunet looked at him unsure, "You sure you want to?"

Chuuya nodded and Dazai pulled out his phone, pressing a couple of buttons and scrolling until he turned the phone around

Chuuya was shocked at how horrific he looked, knees apart, resting between the wall and the sink, head to the side,  he had tears on his face, his hair seemed dull and knotted. He noticed his eyes were rolled to the back of his head and yet he was still clutching the bottle of vodka, while the weed now lay extinguished on the ground, what an embarrassing moment for people to see.

He wasn't surprised he looked so bad though, it was a visual representation of how he felt emotionally. "It is what it is," he mumbled and looked down, shame crawling up his throat.

Dazai put his phone away "do you want me to delete them?"

"Nah, leave them. It's good you have something to back me up with," Chuuya changed the subject, quickly growing uncomfortable, "anyway, yeah, weed. It depends on the person. I feel fine usually but some people have problems. Mostly though it makes people feel great."

"Oh, I thought it would just make everyone happy."

"How about I hold up half that promise?" Dazai looked at him, eyes wide "I may have smoked it for the first without you there, but you haven't tried yet."

"Are you sure?" Dazai asked, "I don't want you to have a panic attack or hurt yourself."

The redhead shook his head "it's okay. That was... that was a one-time thing and it won't ever happen again."

Dazai smiled "okay."

After that, they managed to study without many hitches. At least that's what Chuuya was thinking.

The thought of getting high with Dazai, just the two of them with this newfound attraction... he'd realised made him slightly... excited. He knew the moment would be intimate, and new.

He'd have to lay back on getting incredibly high, so he didn't do anything stupid.

Instead of thinking about that, he decided to think about the way he would get some weed. Asking Shirase was a no. Absolutely not. But he also couldn't think of anyone els-

That guy from the party, he'd been nice enough to give a spare joint for free.

Maybe, he could get his number from Shirase? That could be risky but it seemed like Shirase was convinced he was going to cheat on him with Dazai, so maybe this could just work out.

When they left Chuuya decided he would let Dazai sleep on his own for that night "I've got some business to attend to."

"Not getting it on with Shirase I hope?"

Chuuya went to tug on his hair but of course, Dazai already predicted that and dodged.

"I'm seeing Shirase but for a different reason. Don't stress alright? I got this."

Dazai trusted him and Chuuya knew that. So, they went their separate ways, knowing that they would rekindle later.

"You need Wilde's number?"

"Yeah."

"What for? You know that fucker is gay."

Chuuya retracted his head a little, face contorting into clear disgust "Okay? So am I?"

"Yeah exactly. You're both gay."

Chuuya took a deep breath to calm himself, "I'm not going to fucking sleep with him! I'm not you-"

"That's not what-"

"Shut up and give me that damn number," Chuuya snatched Shirase's phone from the table and looked up at him, "What's your passcode?" Shirase gazed up at him daringly but complied.

"1,2,3,4,5,6."

"Very original," Chuuya retorted.

He then looked through his contacts, and, yeah, Chuuya could have looked through his phone for visual proof of the unclear relationship between Yuan and Shirase but he honestly didn't care.

He found Wilde's contact number and then typed it into his own phone.

"Not gonna look through my phone?" Shirase asked, as if it would make him less suspicious, or less obvious, what a joke.

"Don't need to," Chuuya shrugged, putting his phone back in his pocket and pulling his falling jeans back up "I already know."

With that, Chuuya left.

He called up Wilde while he stood outside the house to smoke.

"Hello?"

"Hey, it's Chuuya."

"Chuuya...Chuuya...Chuuya! Ah! The guy from the party!"

"Yeah, that's me."

"You doing okay? I heard you went through some problems. Sorry if that was partially my fault."

Chuuya smiled as he exhaled the smoke "Nah, it's okay. The blame is on me. But anyway I got your number off Shirase, I need to ask for something without him knowing."

"Oh alright, sure."

"Got any weed? I'll pay you full price."

"Really?" Wilde sounded surprised "I didn't expect that."

"I want to smoke it with Dazai, since he's never tried. Obviously, I don't want Shirase to get on my ass about it ."

"You free now?" Wilde asked.

"Yeah?"

"Come over then, I'll send you my address. I'll sell it to you now."

"You sure?"

"Course! Come over."

"Okay."

Chuuya extinguished his cigarette on top of the top of a nearby trash can and then threw it away.

He got the message detailing the address as he went to chew some gum and alleviate the smell of smoke, he then he put his headphones on and set off.

It didn't take very long to get there.

About twenty minutes later and Wilde was opening the door to his home.

Surprisingly, it wasn't what Chuuya had expected from a weed smoker and seller.

His home had beautiful design and smelled lovely. Important old furniture placed charismatically in the home. He had paintings littered around that looked like they were from the Renaissance period, their usual dark tone complimented by bright and beautiful, exotic-looking plants.

The place also smelt of greenery but not weed type of greenery, just plants, wonderful flowers and lavender, maybe even honey. It was a wonderful place, one look and you wouldn't assume a guy lived here.

"Wow, you're home is beautiful," Chuuya stared in awe while he stood awkwardly at the door way.

"Thank you, I like to think it's my gay that makes me so much better."

Chuuya laughed, "I wish, you should see my dorm room, it looks like a teenager who hasn't grown up."

Wilde smiled, leaning against the kitchen counter "you'll get there. I used to notice how you dressed and I know you've got taste."

"Thanks," Chuuya went to sit at the kitchen table, hesitant to move the beautiful hand-sown table cloth.

"So, about the weed," he started "how much do you want?"

"Two rolls? Or enough for that, I can roll for myself."

"That would be 3500. But I'll give you an extra free."

"I was going to ask about that. I've never heard of a seller giving it for free."

Wilde shrugged and shook his head, tucking his long blonde hair out of the way, eyelids temporarily draping over his Mercury eyes, "may be selfish but honestly, I fucking hate Shirase. He and my boyfriend had a fight at the beginning of the school year, so doing these small things against him makes me feel good."

"I'm not mad about that. I mean I'm benefiting from it," Chuuya said truthfully.

"Plus, after all the shit he pulled on you as well and literally watching from the side how you basically became a shell of your self after everything. I can't help but feel bad for you."

Wilde paused and took a second to think "there's one thing I heard from a book once that stuck with me about your situation with Dazai. 'Some things are more precious because they don't last long'. I want you to smoke this weed with Dazai and appreciate every moment. You know what they say, weed and alcohol bring people together."

Chuuya looked a bit surprised at his words "didn't expect you to be the reading type."

Wilde laughed, his laugh was gorgeous, dainty in a princess like way, it suited him, "What? You expect every weed smoker to be a bum?"

"Maybe. It's just in my experience," Chuuya said with a laugh.

Wilde left the room after they chatted a while more and came back with a bag of weed and some roll-up paper, he sat down and they continued their conversation while he rolled them.

Chuuya decided to slide the money on the table already.

He was paying for two but Wilde rolled three.

"This should be good enough for two people, maybe even too much considering Dazai's never done this before."

Chuuya took them from him and put them in his cigarette packet.

"Dazai's not good with this type of stuff anyway, he threw up from smoking cigarettes and drinking and most likely vaping, so I think it'll be fine. Not to mention I'm trying not to smoke as much so I don't do anything stupid."

Wilde looked up at him and cocked his head to the side, his shoulder lengthened blond hair falling across bis pale face prettily, as he flashed Chuuya a knowing smile, "You fancy Dazai don't you?"

Chuuya looked taken aback by the question, he'd only known Wilde for around an hour or so, but he felt as though he could trust him. He'd been empathetic to him and he was clearly well put together.

"Is it that obvious?"

"No, but only a heartbroken man behaves the way you did."

"I see," Chuuya got up from the table and put his packet into his pocket "Alright, I'll be off. I need to get some sleep and go to class tomorrow."

Wilde walked him down to his door and opened it for him "sure thing. Oh and Chuuya?"

Chuuya turned around as he walked out of the house "Yeah?"

He was leaning the door frame, with cigarette in his hand; the smoke wafting through the apartment an then hallway, "I say go for it."

"What-"

"Go for Dazai."

Chuuya couldn't think of something to say back so he just walked away after giving Wilde a wave.

Everyone was telling him to go for it, to tell Dazai his feelings, and the more time he was spending with Dazai the harder it was for him to convince himself that he was right for ignoring who he truly wanted in order for him to hurt Dazai as minimally as possible.

The more time he spent with Dazai and the more times he woke up by his side, the harder it was for him to convince himself that he could grow to love someone else. Or that Dazai could love someone else. Selfishly, he didn't want Dazai to love anybody but him.

But Chuuya was too scared, and for that reason he pushed his doubts to the side and made it home.

"Chuuya? Where've ya been?" Tachihara asked "I thought you were with Dazai but then Gin told me that he texted her and that he was home."

"I went out, got some weed."

"Uhh...by yourself?" Tachihara turned from where he was making a smoothie, to look at him, genuinely concerned.

Chuuya tossed the other redhead the packet, who caught it before he could even blink "don't worry it was a trusted source. Only had to speak to Shirase for a few minutes and get the contact number."

The other didn't look very convinced "so then isn't he friends with Shirase?"

"Nah, Wilde hates Shirase. It's why he gave me a free one at the party-"

"The one you got absolutely fucked in?"

"Yup. He gave me a free one now too, paid for only two. And don't worry I wont go overboard like last time either, this is just to uphold my end of the promise with Dazai."

Tachihara tossed the packet back to Chuuya and shrugged it off, looking impressed with Chuuya's street skills, it caught Chuuya a bit by surprise, he and Dazai knew all the ways around the city, dingy alleyways, convenience stores that sold adult products to minors, how to swindle someone into giving them an extra yen or two.

Then again Dazai's swindling was handled with words. Chuuya tried to talk it out until he was denied and his fists did the talking.

"Anyway, you mind staying up a little longer? I want to beat this boss in Elden ring and I need support," Tachihara chugged the smoothie down.

Chuuya furrowed his brows "I've never even played that game before, how am I supposed to help?"

"Moral support!" Tachihara answered, hand on his hip while the other hand pointed in a posh manner. "I asked Fyodor for support but he said-" Tachihara cleared his throat "I do not participate in childish actions'" in the best Russian impression he could do. "As if he doesn't have a boyfriend who gushes at stuffed animals, who he then dotes on by buying all those stuffed animals."

"Alright, alright! Stop complaining. But only two attempts and I'm sleeping."

It was more than two attempts, in fact. Chuuya spent majority of the eating the snacks on the table, his first source of food all day, but at least it was something while shouting with Tachihara at the unfair boss moves and by the time Tachiahara managed to defeat the boss two hours had gone by and fit was now eleven.

Chuuya drank a bit, not enough to get him to sleep but he put the bottle down anyway.

He was excited for tomorrow when he could fulfil his promise, which was now long overdue.