In principle dates are something typically associated with romance; they involve hand-holding, a few laughs, and maybe a few giggly kisses, hushed whispers, traded over equally as inconspicuous touches, that's what dates were like. In principle.

At some point, Chuuya had convinced himself that these were what normal dates were like; suddenly movies, books, and the like, seemed like far-fetched fantasies stemming from the mind of baseless romantics.

If only he could have known how wrong he could have been.

His dates started outside and then ended up inside, somehow he found himself in bathrooms, storage cupboards, back alleys, or any secluded place in public.

He didn't mind though, not when these interactions made his heart pound and his adrenaline fly to his head. It was one of the few times he got that feeling. And he snatched it up greedily, with no remorse or consideration.

They hadn't had sex, not yet, mostly because Chuuya felt nervous about the whole ordeal and Shirase was naturally accepting and patient about it.

It wasn't all just touching though, their interactions were perfectly fine when they weren't ferociously snogging each other. There were times when they began to run out of things to say, which Chuuya had pondered over for a little bit, remembering, quite dully, that he never ran out of things to say to Dazai.

Despite that, Chuuya was happy with the way things were going. He liked feeling like he was beginning to have experience in what he was doing, in dating and everything that encompassed that word. As time went on he found that he really could care less about whether he was rushing into things with Shirase, and Dazai's words were becoming less and less important, some people just worked better rushing into things.

Chuuya seemed to be one of them.

Their plan was originally to go out with Dazai, the three of them together, and do something fun, and perhaps slither to the bathroom quietly for a few stolen kisses and touches.

But by the time they planned to do that, school was starting and that was the inevitable point where Shirase and Dazai were going to meet.

-----

Chuuya stood by Dazai's side, not saying anything, instead enjoying hearing him ramble animatedly with Ranpo about the course he was doing, part of him seemed excited and the other part of him trembled with anxiety.

Noticing that Dazai's trembling was worsening by the minute he managed to procure a lie to drag him away from the others.

They leaned against a wooden face that encased a tiny lake, the whole campus was a delight in spring, Cherry blossom trees were scattered delicately against the paths, their alluring petals, blurring with the white of the school building, were easy on the eyes, a good place for calming down.

"You good?" Chuuya asked, the softness of his voice sounding foreign to even his ears.

Dazai nodded, shoving his clammy hands into his pockets "Yeah, I'm okay. There's... there's...just too many people."

They didn't look at each other, not until Chuuya turned his head to look up at him. The contrast between his dark chocolate hair, gold-flaked eyes, and the petals almost winding Chuuya.

"You'll be fine, just think about this. It's all new and scary and different from High School...but by the end of the year, this will be normal, seeing new people every day will feel normal and seeing people you only call classmates or mere acquaintances will feel like a daily part of your routine. It's all new and scary but soon enough you'll be strutting about the place like you own it."

Chuuya bumped his shoulder "You're a fun and easygoing person, I'm sure in no time everyone here will love you."

"Most of the freshmen know us already."

"Really? How come?"

"Talk of the town I guess, two pretty best friends or whatever," Dazai chuckled, finally breaking into a much-needed smile, Chuuya could tell just from looking at him that his nerves were finally easing away.

"How come I haven't heard about this until now?"

Dazai shurgged, "Too busy getting frisky with Shirase I suppose."

"Chuuya come over here for a second!" Ranpo called out, flailing his arms like a child.

"You okay to stay on your own here?"

Dazai didn't give a verbal answer, he just nodded and motioned, with his hands still in his pockets toward their impatient sweet-loving man from the other side. Feeling reassured Chuuya walked over and joined Ranpo and Kunikida, who were happily making plans to go bowling after their first month in school, Chuuya wasn't sure why they were making these sorts of plans now, but he supposed in some ways it made sense considering all of them were going to be busy juggling their social life, school and probably jobs.

They talked for a bit until Kunikida spoke, in an eerily hesitant tone for such a blunt and usually composed man. "Isn't that your boyfriend? With Dazai?"

Chuuya's head snapped in their direction, and much to his dismay, they were engaging in what seemed to be casual conversation, which, in itself wasn't bad, but he wasn't there and the idea made him nervous. He wanted to go and facilitate but Ranpo grabbed his wrist and shook his head.

So Chuuya stayed put and the three of them stayed deadly quiet.

"So you're the Dazai Osamu, my Chuuya keeps yapping about?"

"You must be Shirase then, I'm assuming."

"Sure am. Nice to finally meet you. I've been curious to get to know you after hearing so much about you, Chuuya loves you a lot."

"Not as much as I love him probably."

Shirase laughed. "Even so, I'd say you're lucky to have him as a best friend."

"You're lucky to have him as your boyfriend, I'm sure he's wonderful," Dazai replied, he sounded kind.

"Yeah, he is. Personality and body wise."

"pfft- spare me the details, I've heard enough from him."

"Didn't know he was telling you," Shirase muttured.

"He tries not to but he gets all fidgety and annoying so I bribe him. Use it as blackmail for him to spoil me later."

"I like your way of thinking. Oh yes, I was gonna ask, I'm planning on taking him to a party sometime next week. He told me that he likes those types of environments but I wanted to ask you since you know him so well."

"Yeah, he goes crazy at parties."

"Oh? He's been to some before?"

"Yeah, used to attend some in High school, get wasted, giggle our way home at two in the morning and wake up swearing we'd never drink again."

Dazai chuckled.

"Sounds lit. Never took you for a party person."

"I'm not, but I knew almost everyone in school so I never felt uncomfortable letting loose. Now? I'd probably decline the invite unless all my friends were going."

Dazai paused for a fraction of a moment.

"Though I should mention that he's a lightweight, so either you stay overnight at the house you're partying at or you call one of his friends to take him back. He has no clue what he's doing when he's drunk. Best to not let him wander on the streets at night on his own."

"Anyone specific I should call?'

"Anyone of his friends is fine."

"What about you?"

"Yeah sure, that's fine, I'd just have to go to the party and get him, which sucks."

"Guessing you're introverted then."

"Pretty much."

"That's interesting to think about."

"What?"

"You and I are vastly different, makes you wonder why Chuuya gravitates towards us."

"Simple."

"Really? Enlighten me then."

"You're the life Chuuya wants, the parties, the sex, the scandal, just like life in the movies. I'm the comfortable boring life that he returns to after you."

"You should give yourself more credit, I doubt you're boring."

"Compared to you, I'm merely just a background character."

Chuuya decided he didn't want to hear any more of that from Dazai, he didn't like how any of that sounded. Was that really what Dazai thought? That next to Shirase he didn't amount to anything? That he was boring, mild and passable?

He was anything but that.

Before he could turn around Shirase spoke again.

"It's good that you're such a good friend to him and patient and understanding. I know what it's like to have a shit best friend.

"What happened?"

"I broke the most important rule."

"That is?"

"Falling in love with her."

"You fell in love with your best friend?" Dazai hesitantly questioned.

"I did. I loved her more than I've ever loved anyone else in my life. She found out and felt uncomfortable around me, told our other friends and then it all broke apart. I'm glad you care so much about Chuuya, I doubt anything like this would happen to the two of you."

Dazai sighed and laughed, his laughter coming out strained.

"No, nothing like that would ever happen."

Chuuya walked quickly over to them and smiled "Hey."

Shirase turned around and grinned "Hey babe- wow you look hot as hell!" He exclaimed kissing him on the lips and pulling him close by the hips.

"Shut it, you," he responded and pulled away a little, not wanting Dazai to witness their intimacy, he wasn't looking, his eyes seemed unfocused before he closed them momentarily, "you two behaving?" Chuuya asked.

Dazai smiled softly, eyes not meeting Chuuya's and instead downcast on the floor "Yes, you've got yourself a good boyfriend Chibi."

"Stop calling me Chibi you prick," he paused and then met Shirase's eyes "Thank you though, he's lovely."

"Mm. I agree."

Shirase pulled Chuuya closer again and whispered "Could we... escape here for a little while Chuuya?"

He shuddered in response to Shirase, his heart doing loops in his chest "No, later. It's school."

Shirase chuckled "You know you want to."

But Chuuya felt slightly awkward, Dazai was at least a meter away from them and, he didn't like that.

It was strange because Chuuya usually didn't mind if other people were there, a group of teenagers had heard him give Shirase a blowjob in an alleyway and Chuuya could have cared less but it felt wrong having Dazai see this.

"Wanting and doing are two different things and we are not doing anything you pervert."

Chuuya then turned to Dazai, who, by the looks of his gaze, wasn't even paying attention to what was going on with them, but at the same time, he could see a slight tremble again.

He pushed Shirase away immediately and grabbed onto Dazai's arm "Hey? You alright? You're shaking again, and your eyes are watering."

Instead of Dazai giving Chuuya an explanation again, he instead shook his arm off "I'm fine, it's- it's just the same issue as before. I'm just gonna go to the assembly hall, there's not gonna be anyone there."

"Want me to-"

"No- no, you can... you can go off with Shirase. I'll bring Atsushi with me."

"But-"

Since when did Dazai go to Atsushi for that sort of thing? Chuuya was his comfort person wasn't he?

"It's fine Chuuya," Dazai almost snapped, at least it would have been a snap, if it weren't for the fact it was anything but aggressive.

The older would have argued more but Dazai kicked off the fence and walked away, not leaving him any room to argue and ask for an explanation. Chuuya felt his heart sink.

He'd never heard Dazai speak like that, never heard such a monotone and sad voice from him, not even at his lowest. So where did this come from? Why now? What was wrong with him?

Heaps of concern surged through him as he watched Dazai approach Atsushi, who had turned away from Tanizaki and Higuchi, to look at Dazai with gentle eyes all of their friend group was looking at him like that, or giving him encouraging pats on the back, gentle smiles or understanding eyes. All of them seemed to know what was wrong.

Unless of course Dazai was just mourning High School and dreading university and everyone was helping him deal with it.

There was no other logical reason.

"Is he alright?"

"Yeah... he's just not good with change."

Shirase took Chuuya's hands and rubbed his thumb on his knuckles "You wanna go and check on him?"

Chuuya bit his lip. He wanted to, desperately. But now that Shirase took his hand he felt like he shouldn't and that instead he should go and meet Shirase's friends instead.

He ignored the feeling and breathed in deeply before exhaling, "No, I'm sure he'll be okay, let's go and meet your friends."

Shirase smiled brightly, and the tugged Chuuya gleefully in the opposite direction "Yes! Was hoping you'd say that," he cheered as they began to walk.

Chuuya glanced backwards, a feeling of dread morphing onto his shoulders.

----

He should have gone to Dazai.

It wasn't like Shirase's friends were bad, they weren't, they were alright individuals but he couldn't fully bring himself to enjoy spending time with them and getting to know them, because, in the back of his mind, he knew that Dazai was sitting, panicking or sulking without him.

Finally, it was time to go to the assembly hall. Chuuya parted from Shirase with a kiss and searched around the hall for Dazai, spotting him immediately with an empty seat beside him.

He walked over and sat down, they didn't say anything to each other, Chuuya hated it. Somehow he found his hands sitting in his lap, twiddling his thumbs anxiously Dazai still didn't anything to him, he was talking to Atsushi, who sitting excitedly on his other side, rambling about what he'd heard heard about his course.

Chuuya wasn't sure why but he was beginning to feel anxious. Shirase's conversation with Dazai made him inexplicably sad, for a multitude of reasons. It was almost like Dazai thought he wasn't Chuuya's type, as a best friend or more. Chuuya had never considered dating Dazai but even now that he thought about it, given how easily they fit together and how they're personalities complimented one another and helped each other, they probably wouldn't make a very bad couple.

Dazai would reign him back in when he was getting too big for his shoes, remind him that living in peace, taking a step back; breathing fresh air and appreciating every slow moment wasn't a thing to ashamed about but rather a thing to be grateful of.

Whilst he would remind Dazai that going out, drinking, living a little wasn't as scary and bad as his thoughts made it out to be. There was fun in everything and anything you did if you put your thoughts to rest and remind yourself that this was simply a moment in time that would exist for just these moments and then become a mere, sometimes, skewed memory.

Dazai was a wonderful person; once he opened up and let that mask of his drop, he was a charming, funny, mischievous person. Chuuya had witnessed many people asking Dazai to be their boyfriend, not to mention he was always there on Valentine's Day to witness Dazai's locker being filled to the brim with love letters (all of which he read and rejected but had kept in a cute box under his bed), people loved Dazai, sometimes Chuuya wondered how being as close to him as he was, how he hadn't fallen for him as well.

Despite thinking about something like this, Chuuya didn't feel uncomfortable, or ashamed of himself, it just made him wonder.

He looked up at Dazai, eyes watching him carefully but kindly, taking in his movements; the way he talked, blinked, smiled anything like that and smiled faintly to himself.

Dazai must have felt his gaze because he then turned towards him and looked at him, chocolate eyes watching him curiously.

Chuuya took his hand and smiled at him "There's no one else in this world who would be able to compare to you, Osamu."

And he meant it, he could get married, he could adopt children, have gazillions of different boyfriends and friends but none of them, not even Kyoyo or Aya or his older brother could come close to how much he loved Dazai, the feeling, the magnitude of it, wasn't the same.

Evidently, those words must have had an effect on him, his eyes relaxed and the most graceful smile formed on his lips, he didn't say anything and instead hugged him "You don't have to flatter me to make me feel better. I think I prefer being called a stinky mackerel better."

Chuuya laughed "I mean it," he paused for a second "No one in this room will come above you or compare to you," the brunet looked like was going to say something but Chuuya cut him off "No one. Not even Shirase."

The other's face reddened and he quickly looked away "Please don't say that ever again." he muttered quietly.

Clearly, he was embarrassed so Chuuya laughed it off "Sure, whatever you say."

Chuuya hadn't known he'd meant it literally.

The assembly didn't last long and neither did the briefing as well as the well-wishing words from the various people in charge of running the building, Chuuya didn't pay attention to that, he couldn't care less about what other people had to say and congratulate them about, he was just a number to these people, not an individual and this place was just a means to his final destination (hopefully). He was here to get his degree and go.

When it was finally over and Chuuya got the chance to stretch and finally speak to all his friends, his phone vibrated in his pocket. He picked it up and smiled at his phone, not paying mind to Kyouka resting her chin on his shoulder "From Mr. Right?" she asked, reading through the texts with raised eyebrows, not out of surprise that he was texting but rather because of how much Shirase took to complimenting Chuuya's body rather than anything else.

"Yeah, he's inviting me to a party later on today. Sort of to celebrate the first day I guess."

"Could also be celebrating our descent into hell," she said much too monotone for what she was describing.

Chuuya laughed a bit, as he looked at her in amusement "That too. But let's try and look at the positive side."

She finally detached herself from his shoulder "Whatever you say. I prefer to be realistic. Poor Yosano is probably borderline suicidal," she then walked to face him and fiddled around with the bunny phone charm she had "Are you going to go again?"

Chuuya scoffed as if the question was dumb "Yeah of course I am. I loved parties in High School, I bet they're going to be even better now."

"Is Dazai going to come?"

"I'll ask, but I think he'll say no. And I think it's better even if he doesn't."

Kyouka cocked her head to the side in confusion "Why not, we all loved parties when the two of you were around."

Chuuya scratched the back of his head, sheepishly "Well you know...Shirase-"

"Actually-" she held up her hands, "on second thought, I don't want to know and I agree fully that Dazai should not go," She looked away, with Chuuya following her gaze, eyes then landing on Dazai's slender figure as he was engaging in a conversation with Kenji and the Akutagawa siblings. "I think it's best for Dazai if he doesn't see anything of that sort," she finished, her eyes narrowing sadly.

---

When Chuuya made it back to his dorm, he immediately set about finding a good outfit, he'd asked Shirase about the sort of outfits people wear to these types of parties and much to his surprise they were similar to High School ones, everyone wore what they wanted. They were as promiscuous or modest as they pleased. Which was great because Chuuya wasn't one for modesty.

He took a quick picture of himself to send to Dazai and ask his opinion about it.

D: You look good.

C: It's not too much right?"

D: Knowing your relationship with Shirase, I doubt they'd stay on for long anyway.

C: You sound like a disappointed mother

D: Sounds like you've got mommy issues.

C: Should have just not texted you, you social misfit."

D: Feelings mutual Chibi.

D:...

C: ??

D: You look really good, gorgeous even.

Chuuya smiled brightly, feeling incredibly flattered by that, gorgeous was a compliment he hadn't often received and it made him feel slightly special.

C: Thank you.

Dazai didn't respond immediately, which gave Chuuya some time to put his shoes on and leave after he said goodbye to Fyodor and Tachihara.

It was only once he reached the front door of the house, which was illuminated with lights, shaking with loud music and the sounds of singing, cheering and chatter that Dazai finally responded

D: Have fun.

Shirase was out smoking on the porch and talking to someone, not noticing Chuuya until the man he was talking to pointed at him. Shirase didn't waste any time to look at him and immediately he wolf-whistled "Wow, babe, you look so fucking sexy. You out here to get some extra boyfriends?" he chuckled immediately going in to kiss him.

The compliment didn't make Chuuya feel particularly special, he'd noticed, certainly not like being gorgeous had.

But he pushed that strange thought aside and carried on with the conversation.

"Nah, I think the one I have right now, is pretty good. As for why..." he whispered, while sliding his hands around the back of Shirase and under his shirt "wanted to give you a real good run for your money tonight."

Shirase smirked " I see, well... how about we start the night off with a little fun? Just you and me?"

"A drink for my nerves would be good first."

"Whatever you want sugar lips."

And so, Shirase led Chuuya to the kitchen where he was poured a shot of Vodka, downing it in one go before shaking his head at the awful taste.

He was then led out and dragged upstairs into the closest bedroom. Shirase locked the door and immediately attached his slips to Chuuya "Can't wait to take all this off you."

Chuuya glanced at himself in the mirror, looking at what he was wearing smugly, it was sexy but the only word his brain was shouting back at him was gorgeous.

He wore tight red leather pants with rips in them, a black belt with stylish holes in it, a black low, almost see-through vest, a black leather jacket and his favourite hat. He had a bit of eyeliner on.

He had to admit, he looked good.

Good enough to be fucked apparently.

He was pinned against the wall, stripped, touched, kissed, he was told to finger himself, which he did very unsure but it felt good. He was then very roughly pounded into the mattress, his eyes rolling to the back of his head, hands fisting the sheets, mouth parted and unable to say anything.

It was mind-blowingly good, and contrary to his fear, he barely felt any pain at all, his body had accompanied the new intrusion so well. Shirase couldn't stop with the compliments "You're body's so good", "You're so sexy," "Such a good mouth, "Best fucking body ever."

Chuuya had never once been unable to speak, he'd always been able to say his piece if he needed to but right at that moment he was left speechless, the only coherent words he got out were "More" and "faster" and "harder, everything else was loud moans that got drowned out by the music of muffled by his head being pushed into the mattress underneath him, Shirase taking him from behind almost violently, hands gripping his hips so hard, he was probably going to get bruises.

It was a crazy night, the sex had Chuuya feeling limbless and dazed, it was now obvious why so many people did this often, it felt so much better than anything else Chuuya had ever known with Shirase in his life. He didn't need to think about anything, his heart was pounding not unmoving, his body didn't feel any butterflies but felt a constant jolt of pleasure, for those few minutes he didn't even care that he was the only one making noise and how much that had bothered him before if sex was as good as this, he didn't care about the repercussions or what Shirase called him, he didn't even complain about the fact he wanted to see Shirase's face, instead of the mattress.

"Fuck, I should have known you'd be that fucking good," Shirase spoke, walking to the bin to dispose of the condom he'd used.

Chuuya hummed, not saying anything, wanting to gather his thoughts to be able to rejoin the party, not to mention he was a little tipsy and needed to work even harder.

Shirase sat him and kissed him "thought you didn't kiss people after they gave you head."

"It's different if you spit or swallow."

"Mmm, sure, let's get down now."

"Can you walk?"

"Hey, I'm not fragile I can handle it."

"Sure didn't look that way a few minutes ago."

"Ha. Ha," he muttered against his lips before getting up to change finding that he did indeed have all the strength to walk he needed, perhaps it was the alcohol.

They re-joined the party and touched some more whenever they had the chance but didn't manage anything else per Chuuya's request, up until the end of the night when Chuuya was viscously fucked against a wall in the bathroom, completely drunk after he'd danced with another girl who was just as pissed as he was.

After a ridiculous drinking game and Chuuya's first time, he smoked weed (which would have made Chuuya guilty, as he broke his promise) but he was too far gone to feel anything else than giddiness), he then passed out in the same bed he'd had sex in that night, sandwiched in between some random stranger and Shirase.

It wasn't, per se, a fun night.

Though Chuuya thought it was, later he realised that it wasn't fun.

It was just sexual.