"You look so good, babe," Shirase whispered, hands on Chuuya's waist as they watched some of their other friends dance in the middle of the living room. Chuuya looked up at him and kissed him on the lips, loving the feeling of Shirase's hands tightening around his waist as if just a kiss was enough to get him going.

It made him feel good about himself.

He turned around so he could face him, slithering his arms around Shirase's neck "you don't need to tell me things I already know," Chuuya smirked, backing away so Shirase could chase his lips.

"You've gotten a lot more comfortable touching me in public," Shirase said after he kissed Chuuya again. "Any reason for that?"

Chuuya shrugged. "Not sure, just doing whatever I feel," Shirase blinked at him. "Hmm, well, I like it. Means everyone knows you're mine," they heard someone call both their names and turned toward the person.

Ahh, it was Tolstoy, "you both should come play snooker," he said, leaning on one of the cue sticks.

"Sounds good, I'm gonna go play," Shirase pulled away from Chuuya, and Chuuya raised an eyebrow.

"Oi, I'm playing too," he said, stepping forward, but Shirase grabbed him by the shoulders.

"Chuuya, babe, snooker is a real man's game. And as the... one with the pants in this relationship, it means only I can play."

Chuuya's head cocked to the side "what the fuck does who bottoms and tops have to do with a game? There isn't a rule here that says women and bottoms can't play."

Shirase tutted and placed a finger on his lips "don't get all upset with me, there's just certain things you should let me do and certain things I should let you do."

Tolstoy seemed to be taking Chuuya's side, "he's right Shirase, if he wants to play he should be able to, who are you to tell him what to do?"

Shirase whipped his head around to look at him "don't get involved in people's relationships Stoy, it's none of your business."

He put his hands up and turned around, deciding not to get himself involved any longer, Chuuya always wondered why exactly people gave in when Shirase said something, he didn't understand it.

He called himself down quickly though, taking a few deep breaths "fine, I'm going for a smoke."

Chuuya wanted to dutifully avoid the back smoking area, usually, the men all stayed at the front and the women at the back, there was no particular reason for it, that's just how things were.

And although Chuuya had no problem going to sit with them guys, they were usually loud and did stupid things, and that was fine, when Chuuya felt like also committing crimes.

He was friends or at least acquaintances with everyone, but there was someone, someone with pink hair and the personality of a tree that he didn't get along with.

He figured, however, that he could just go to the back of the garden where the swings were, it meant he would still be around people but could have smoke without that whiny woman trying to flaunt her breasts.

He opened the door, immediately feeling relieved to see that Sara was also outside, if he needed to escape Yuan, he had at least someone who he could do that with.

He swivelled around the girls and trudged to the back of the garden, sitting himself down on the swing and then pulled out a packet of cigarettes from his pocket, he placed one in his mouth and lifted both his hands so he could light it without the wind interfering.

Once he was done he placed the lighter back in his pocket and took a puff, sighing as the nicotine calmed whatever nerves he had left.

He looked to the second swing on his right and thought about Dazai. He remembered how they would sneak out late at night or early in the morning so they could smoke in the park, they'd sit on the swings until dawn, each sharing a headphone, talking and smoking with cans of coke or monsters to hydrate their parched throats.

Chuuya shook his head and looked away, there was no use in thinking about Dazai now, he was out somewhere getting laid, and he wasn't thinking about him at all, so Chuuya shouldn't be either.

For a moment he wished he didn't let his thoughts stray from Dazai because now instead of staring at a perfectly empty swing he had the displeasure of having to look at Yuan, who was strutting towards him on the small stone path as if she was the hottest woman known to mankind, like a model on the runway.

If Chuuya didn't dislike her as much as he did, he would admit that she was attractive but he was biased, so in his eyes, she looked like a fucking idiot.

She took a few quicker steps when she got closer to him, smoothing down her dress under her thighs as she sat down on the swing beside Chuuya, "how come you're out here with us ladies?" She asked, smiling at him.

Chuuya almost wanted to scoff at her, the last time they saw each other she whispered about him, and now she was approaching him like they were all chummy, "the others are too fucking loud."

"I'm surprised you attended this party in the first place," she said, laughing slightly "I mean after the circus performance you caused last time. Honesty, I don't see what he sees in you, you're far from his...usual? Type."

Chuuya looked towards her, facial expression unamused and clearly irritated "first of all I don't give a fuck about what people think or say about me. And it wasn't shit that I pulled, it was shit that Shirase pulled. Secondly, why exactly am I not his type?"

She looked at him as if she'd just succeeded at her main goal in life "well... he's into more feminine people, you know? Dainty, has a big ass, in the case of women big tits, soft and curvy type thing. Even for men, he's always gone for men who looks or behave quite submissive. I think the only exceptions to those rules have been you and I."

"How the fuck are you an exception?"

"Well I might be curvier than most Japanese women but my personality is far from submissive or feminine. In that sense, we're quite similar."

"Don't compare me to you," Chuuya muttered, slightly disgusted that he had similarities to her.

"I'm just saying~ considering I was Shirase's first love maybe he met you and thought 'oh! He reminds me of Yuan!'" She smiled at him, it could have passed off as pitiful but Chuuya knew better.

"He approached me before he even knew my personality, all he had to go off of was my body."

Yuan looked taken aback that, Chuuya made a good point, she's probably expected him to be an idiot. Perhaps the rumours that Dazai was the brain while Chuuya was the brawl made people think that Chuuya was an idiot without Dazai.

Most likely out of spite Yuan replied with an almost hiss, as if she was the devil himself "your body seems to be the only thing he sees in you."

Chuuya looked at her, blue eyes wide, "never heard him compliment you for anything else but your body" she held up her hands, with her palms facing the sky as she shrugged "even on the phone. And the only thing you guys have done since dating is fuck like bunnies. Maybe you're just bland as shit but you still get the hot guys cause you're a good fuck."

Chuuya threw his cigarette on the floor and took a sip from the beer can he'd placed between his thighs. He took a large gulp of it and then stood up, looking down at her all smug, he raised the beer can and tipped it over her head. Half the can drizzled down her hair and the side of her face, soiling her pretty black dress and curly, princess-like hair "maybe you should shut the fuck up, you ugly bitch," he spoke calmly, so what if she was Shirase's best friend? He wasn't going to take shit from her.

Her eyes were wide like that of a doe but it didn't deter Chuuya from continuing, "At least I've got a life ahead of me and I don't crush crack on my bedside table and snort it every morning," he got closer to her and poured the rest on her head, the other girls all stared on shock but neither made a move to help Yuan, she'd only been here for over a week and she'd managed to make every girl hate her and every boy love her (with the exception of Chuuya).

"Keep your whoreish nose out of my relationship and fuck off."

She got up and glared at him darkly "watch it, Nakahara, one of these days you're gonna regret doing that to me. No. You're going to regret ever meeting Shirase."

Chuuya couldn't help but laugh, not in a full chest way but rather under his breath yet still notable, he had his eyes closed and his shoulders jumped in amusement before he lifted his chin and peered down at her, as if she was nothing but a mere insect "yeah? Go on then," he replied, she said nothing but her shaking fists were enough to tell Chuuya what she was really feeling.

She snatched her purse from the ground and stalked off, leaving the party from the garden entrance, slamming the wooden gate behind her.

For the first time ever Chuuya actually smiled at something to do with Yuan,  he'd completely ruined her night. He might get shit from Shirase later but he really could care less right now, he was too busy revelling in his victory.

The other girls quickly came up to him to ask if he was alright.

"We were going to come and intervene."

"Yeah, are you okay?"

"What happened?"

"I can't believe you did that.

"She's a right bitch."

Chuuya shook them all off and smiled "I handled it. I think I made her hate me more and whatever she's going to plan is probably going to be worse than this but the small amount of satisfaction was absolutely worth it."

The girls cheered him on, tapping him on the back and patting his arm whilst laughing.

If anyone saw Chuuya and didn't know he was a gay man, they'd assume he was a popular fuck boy, but in reality, he was just close with girls. The girls all disliked Yuan too.

Feeling completely elated by what had just occurred he went to see Shirase, he was sitting down on the armrest of the sofa, leaning his chin on the cue stick like Tolstoy had done before.

Chuuya wondered as he walked towards him, if it was true that all Shirase was after was his body, it wouldn't surprise him if he did. Chuuya knew he had a good body, but Yuan was right, Chuuya was not dainty or fragile. He was mostly muscle: strong arms, strong legs, brute strength rather than soft plushy thighs or whatnot. He had soft parts, his hips and if he was really relaxed his thighs and stomach but mostly he was just muscle.

Stupidly, he shrugged it off and decided not to dwell on the thought very much. Shirase was a sweet boy when they first met, he must have noticed a lot more than just his figure to have wanted to approach him.

Right now wasn't a good time to ask though because Shirase's eyes were red. Chuuya walked up to him and lifted his chin, a little more forcefully than he'd liked "what the fuck did you just take?"

Shirase smiled and shrugged "little bit of coke," he said as if it wasn't a serious thing to be getting involved with these types of drugs. Weed was one thing but cocaine? That shit was not the thing to get addicted to.

He narrowed his eyes at his silver-haired boyfriend "Where did you get it from?"

Shirase grinned pulling Chuuya close by the waist out of nowhere "Yuan, hehe," he smiled nuzzling his face into Chuuya's stomach.

Chuuya felt like he was going to throw up, his ears were ringing and his throat became dry, the anger that bubbled in him was immeasurable, stupid fucking pink bitch.

He felt Shirase nuzzle him closely and a wave of fondness cascaded over him, he kissed him on the lips tentatively and then backed away, watching in amusement as Shirase attempted to follow his lips, "let's have sex. What do you say?"

Shirase looked at him "while I'm high as fuck?" He asked, as if he was simultaneously curious and concerned about the idea. Chuuya nodded. Pushing the thought that this was starting to become a habit of his out of his head. Shirase had been the one to ask these kinds of questions up to this point, once Yuan came along Chuuya kept asking and asking.

For a moment, but only for a short moment, Chuuya wondered if it wasn't the fact Yuan appeared but rather that Dazai had slept with Sara that was the trigger.

But that sounded ridiculous.

So that's how Chuuya found himself with Shirase's fingers in his mouth and his cock ramming into him.

Chuuya barely managed to register his phone ringing, until he felt the vibration through the mattress and Shirase stopped moving.

Shirase removed his fingers from Chuuya's mouth, wiping them on the bed they were on before picking up the phone, "stay still sexy," he looked down at the phone "it's Dazai."

Chuuya froze, this was a terrible situation, he did not want to be reminded of Dazai in yet another one of these scenarios, not when he was feeling so good about himself.

Much to his dismay Shirase was high and an idiot.

He picked up.

"Heyyyy Dazai! Yeah! Nice to talk to you again, been a while," Shirase began to thrust a little, not too hard but at an angle that managed to hit Chuuya's prostate "hmm? Oh yeah Chuuya's fine," he leaned close to Chuuya's ear, breath fanning over his ear, "Chuuya's doing great."

"You want to talk to him? Uhhh I don't know about that, he's... he's exercising right now? Wouldn't want to interrupt him on his little workout," Shirase, the little prick sped up again.

"He's drunk so obviously he's going to do stupid things," Shirase replied and then with one perfect hit to Chuuya's prostate Chuuya let out a loud moan.

Shirase grinned, trying his utmost best (and failing a lot more than he was succeeding at hitting that spot again). Chuuya kept crying out every time he did and he felt miserable at the thought that Dazai was hearing everything. They hadn't said it out loud but they'd silently sworn to keep their sex lives out of each other business, keep a certain comfortable boundary between them because God knows they need it.

And now Chuuya had broken that boundary, very badly, very, very badly.

"End- fuck- Shiras end the call right-
Right now!" He choked out, turning to look at him with as much of a scowl as he could procure.

"End it-" Shirase gave one big thrust that shut Chuuya up, a loud moan of pleasure slipping past his lips.

His head hung low yet his arms were holding him up decently well still, the only indication he got that Shirase had listened to him was that he saw his phone drop by his head and land on the mattress.

"Shirase, what the hell was that?"

The man shrugged "oh come on! It wasn't even that bad, I've had people I've slept with do that to me!"

Chuuya glared at him "I don't care, never do that to me when it involves Dazai again. Ever again."

Shirase raised an eyebrow at him "how come it only applies to Dazai? What? You think he's going to run off and cry cause he heard you have sex?" Shirase replied, slightly sarcastic but also slightly amused by this.

"No. But I don't want my best friend hearing me do that kinda thing, there's boundaries between us."

Shirase huffed "but now he knows you're all mine," Shirase smiled, holding onto Chuuya's waist as he pulled him closer to spoon.

Chuuya sat up and looked up at him again "he knows Shirase, you don't need to prove to everyone that we're dating as if all of our friends haven't seen us fuck already."

Despite Shirase changing the subject Chuuya still found himself to be annoyed at him, he didn't like the fact that Dazai had heard him so indecent, especially considering what happened last time any thoughts of Dazai had been involved with sex.

Shirase got up from the bed a second time (the first was to put some clothes on, he never cuddled Chuuya naked) and seemingly decided that Chuuya needed to loosen up, emotionally, not physically, he'd done that already "let's get some drinks together, just you and me."

Chuuya looked at him sceptically "fine just don't do any stupid drugs around me, or we're going to have problems again."

Shirase nodded, complying with what Chuuya was requesting. They got dressed in mostly silence.

Chuuya felt nothing but dread at what Shirase had done, Dazai couldn't hear this, not this, anything but this. It felt like lines were blurred and broken in areas they absolutely should not be.

He was pulled by the hand towards the bar yet again "stop being so pissy Chuuya, it's not going to harm him," Shirase laughed, finding it funny or enjoyable that he was stressing his boyfriend.

But that was just the thing, it could traumatize Dazai, it would certainly traumatize him if he heard Dazai getting it on with Sara. He shot Shirase a spiteful glare, not wanting to talk about why it bothered him so much.

"loosen up Chuuya! He shouldn't be offended that his best friend is getting a little freaky here and there, here" Shirase raised his hand, offering Chuuya a drink "loosen up."

"I think you've loosened him enough for tonight," some girl said with a laugh and then a pause "literally."

Chuuya's face reddened as he slammed his cup down, why was his sex life out for everyone and their mother to know about? Why does everyone know what he and Shirase get up to? And why did Dazai have to hear it first-hand?

No- why did it bother Chuuya so much in the first place?

It was just Dazai, he was never embarrassed about the things he did when it came to Dazai.

But this was different, this was something he'd talked about with Dazai and they both concluded that it was a topic they didn't want to discuss.

And Dazai had heard him! Heard him!

Not to mention Chuuya hadn't stopped occasionally imagining Dazai in Shirase's place.

Why was everything so complicated?

He ignored, for the most part, what the others were saying, his thoughts drowning out the perpetual noise.

This was until he drowned himself in alcohol and the problem didn't seem like such a big deal anymore.

The world was spinning, and yet he felt like he had no problems, his laughing grew louder, overheard over even the blaring music, when one of his friends toppled over onto the floor, like a pancake hitting a pan "oh my fucking god you silly bitch," he laughed, stumbling from his seat to go and help his friend up "come on," he smiled and helped him, nearly falling over as well in the process.

He swerved through the dance floor, slapping people's asses as he moved, people turned around a little scandalised by his behaviour whilst finding it amusing as well.

That night, Chuuya lost himself to alcohol completely, any worries he had that night, had vanished along with the smoke of his cigarette, he wondered at one point why he didn't drink more often. It made him feel like life wasn't as bad as he was making it out to be.

But even though Chuuya couldn't see the mistakes, didn't mean he wasn't making them.

He was stumbling and fumbling around the party. At one point, he'd snapped the leg of a chair when he sat on it aggressively as he laughed at Shirase's poor ability to shoot darts.

Chuuya decided after the second round of throw-up before he downed another shot -to make up for the alcohol he lost- that perhaps it was best for him to go home.

Shirase agreed with him surprisingly enthusiastic, "but-" he hiccuped, "Who're we gonna call?"

Chuuya blinked and giggled. There was no reason for him to do that but he did "that- that should be obvious-" he snorted.

He tapped his sides for his phone but realised that it wasn't there "oops-" he laughed and placed a single finger on his lips tapping it "I've lost my phone"

Shirase began to laugh, placing his hands on Chuuya's hips and then lifting him, nearly whacking Chuuya's head on the ceiling while doing so.

"Shout it, babe, ask them fuckers if they have it!"

Chuuya laughed, looking down around him, then leaned down to kiss him "hmm okay," Shirase smiled against his lips. Chuuya leant back up, Shirase lost his balance for a second but he quickly took a few steps backwards and it was all okay, Chuuya raised his hands to his mouth and took a deep breath "OI FUCKERS WHICH ONE OF YOU'S GOT MY FUCKING PHONE?!??!"

A few people laughed and cheered at his confidence, and then thankfully someone emerged from the crowd, Sara.

She had her hands on her hips and held his phone between her pointer finger and thumb as if it was a bag of shit.

"Maybe you shouldn't leave it lying around on the edge of a sink fuck shit," her frown morphed into a smile, unable to hold it back.

Shirase let Chuuya down and kissed him quickly, Chuuya's body finally fluttered, after weeks of being devoid of it.

Shirase was actually treating him like he was his boyfriend and it made him quite happy.

Almost enough to forget about Dazai, almost.

He couldn't help but think about the last time he was this drunk, the first time he nearly passed out. It was the second time he'd ever drank, he and Dazai were yet again left alone at home and so, like any two teenagers, they drank. They drank so much they couldn't even walk up the stairs, they giggled the entire time, bumped heads when they turned to look at each other, Chuuya wondered how this party would have gone if Dazai had been there as well.

Ignoring the thought of the brunet again, he shimmied out of Shirase's embrace and drunkenly made his way over to her, placing his hand on her shoulder to steady himself.

"Can- can you call Dazai for me?" Chuuya spoke.

It didn't cross his mind even for a moment that calling Dazai right now was probably the worst thing he could do.

He'd forgotten about why he'd been so upset earlier in the night.

He'd forgotten the apology he owed him.

Sara looked hesitant, her expression akin to concern, she looked around her nervously "why?" She asked, seemingly uncomfortable with the idea of Chuuya calling him.

"Need to leave. Might drink till I die!" He laughed at the thought "now that's a way to die!"

Sara raised an eyebrow "I- isn't there anyone else you can call?"

"Why? Planning on fucking him?" He sneered, feeling just a tad bit of anger well within him.

Sara retracted back from him "the fu-" she crossed her arms and snatched his phone from his hands, "no, I'm not. And even if I was, considering you're agreement with him it's none of your business," Chuuya snapped his mouth shut, she glared at him "I'll call him," and then turned her back to him.

Before she disappeared completely she stopped in her tracks all of a sudden. "I just don't think he deserves to be used like this."

She walked away, fading into the crowd, Chuuya stared after her, a little confused and slightly hurt that she was insinuating he'd purposefully hurt or use Dazai.

"The hell is her problem?" Shirase asked, slinging his arm around Chuuya's shoulders, "Meh, she's probably on her period. Don't think Dazai would care, he abides by your every request anyway."

If Chuuya hadn't been as drunk as he was, he would have snapped at him, but unfortunately for Dazai's dignity, he didn't care right now.

However, Chuuya was curious to see what Sara said, so he went on the hunt and found her on the porch. She was fiddling with her sparkly necklace that lay on her chest, the moon draped across her lean figure, it shone through her diamond earrings and necklace, giving her the appearance that she sparkled. Her orange hair blew in a similar way that it did for singers in dramatic music videos, while her blue eyes twinkled like the stars did in the sky; she looked beautiful, it was no wonder Dazai took a liking toward her.

Chuuya blinked and looked away, it felt like a green beast was clawing at his chest all of a sudden.

He shook his head and walked as quietly as he could "the party is okay. Actually, it's the most fun one I've had in a while. What about you? What are you doing?"

"You should have come instead of staying in your house alone. Maybe you could... I don't know, have been okay," She listened on the other end and nodded "even if you couldn't spend the night with Chuuya, you could...spend it with me... and my friends."

She sighed and looked down at her heels, and then closed her eyes painfully, "you know I want you around, we could have even gone out together afterwards or to my place and-"

Heartbroken Chuuya turned around, tempted to leave but this time he had liquor pulsing through his bloodstream and instead he joined her.

"Osamuuuu~" he called, smirking a little at the thought that he could call Dazai this and Sara couldn't, at least, he didn't think she could.

Sara fiddled with her phone and then placed Dazai on speaker "Chuuya?" Dazai sounded a little breathless on the phone, and a little hurt.

"Mhm"

Sara sighed and looked at Chuuya, he could feel her deep, thoughtful gaze on her "he's wondering if you could pick him up. He's drunk and can barely stand."

There was a pause on the phone as Dazai contemplated "Dazai?"

"It's just...I'm actually not home right now."

Both Sara and Chuuya looked at him "where are you then?" Sara asked, looking back at her phone

"I...at a hotel."

Chuuya knew the implications of that, when people who weren't on holiday but were at hotels in their home town, it only meant one thing.

A one-night stand.

Chuuya malfunctioned, not able to comprehend that, not with how drunk he was.

Sara didn't seem to be very bothered by it "which one? It might be close to the house we're at."

"Perry," he spoke.

"Oh? Perry's isn't that far away, are you able to? Or is someone there?

"Someone... someone's here."

Chuuya backed away, his heart felt as though it was rising up his throat.

"Then...then stay there," Chuuya murmured, "You can't just leave someone."

"Do you want me to get you?" Dazai asked, ignoring the slur in Chuuya's pouty voice.

Chuuya contemplated, he did want Dazai to come get him, but... "yeah, I do," being drunk sucked ass.

"Then I'm coming to get you."

"But-"

"It's fine."

The call ended abruptly just like that, as if he was irritated.

Chuuya stared a little longer at the darkened screen.

Sara promptly placed her phone in her pocket "you're pushing your luck, Nakahara," she said and then left to rejoin the craze of the party inside.

Just like the first time, Chuuya quickly forgot about any issues revolving around Dazai the moment he walked back into the party.

Once he got back to fooling around with Shirase, and laughing with his friends, it all seemed irrelevant.

Around a quarter of an hour passed until Sara approached him again "come on, Dazai's here."

Both Shirase and Chuuya got up, still flirting with each other and touching as they walked behind Sara and swerved around the other partygoers.

Dazai stood at the door, eyes on the phone as he waited but it wasn't like Chuuya was in the state of mind to notice very much.

Shirase was holding him like a Prince would hold his princess, it was a wonder -with how drunk they were how they hadn't collapsed onto the floor together.

"Come on, do you have to leave, I love it when you're like this, so ready," Shirase purred.

Chuuya dove in for a few long kisses and then parted from him "Unless you want me to drink myself to death?" He joked and Shirase laughed against his lips, breath smelling thoroughly of alcohol.

"Ahem, can you two make out some other time? Dazai has better things to do with his life than wait for you Chuuya," Sara tapped her foot impatiently as she spoke, her arms crossed, giving them a glaring look.

The two reluctantly got off of each other, so Chuuya to the opportunity to sneak a glance at Dazai, who now had Sara whispering in his ear, her hand placed on his chest, as she lifted herself on her toes to reach.

He pushed some of her hair out of her face (or was it that he was pushing her hair out of his face?) And then he smiled at her and gave her a nod.

Chuuya was the one to cough this time, his body swaying slightly.

Sara looked at him and then at Dazai "take care of him," she stopped and then fixed his collar, he'd probably left in a rush. "And especially take care of yourself. Call me tomorrow."

She took her leave after that, grabbing Shirase by the wrist and dragging him away from Chuuya "see you-" he hiccuped "later sexy!"

Chuuya waved at him "you owe me a good time, next round!" He called out and then sauntered towards the door and shut it.

The two of them stood there for a moment, Dazai was most likely letting him soak up the cold air.

"Hey," Chuuya breathed out and looked at him, with a very out-of-character gentle smile, especially after the shit show he'd put on tonight.

The brunet blinked at him and sighed "hey," he turned around so that he wasn't facing Chuuya. He saw Dazai's fists clench before he shoved them into his pocket. "Let's go," he said finally.

"Can you hold my hand?" Chuuya asked as he stretched his palm towards Dazai.

Dazai sighed and shook his head, shoving his hands into his pockets, "You've got a boyfriend, Chuuya, I can't."

"What? But-"

He whisked round and looked at him, "No, Chuuya,"

Chuuya listened and then walked side by side to him.

At some point, he started talking, and instead held onto Dazai's jumper, to at least keep the distance between them close.

Dazai didn't help and didn't reply to any of his questions.

They made it to Dazai's home and Chuuya just stood there, swaying on the spot, trying to move with the room "Can you go and wash up on your own? As well as get changed."

Chuuya blinked, it took him about a minute or so to fully process what Dazai was saying "I don't know," he whispered, grabbing the end of his shirt as if he were an embarrassed child.

Dazai sighed and sat on the edge of the couch "well go try. I'll be here if you can't."

Chuuya huffed and stumbled to the bathroom, holding onto any piece of furniture he could.

When he finally made it into the bathroom, he only managed to brush his teeth before his vision blacked out, he lost his balance and quickly moved his foot so he could regain it but instead was met with sharp pain, shooting upwards from the bottom of his foot "fuck!" He cried and quickly sat down on the edge of the bathtub.

Within seconds Dazai opened the door, he took about three seconds to assess what happened and sighed "how did you manage that?"

Chuuya looked at him and then down at his foot "my vision blackened and I freaked out, it hurts like a bitch."

Dazai sighed again, for what felt like the the millionth time that night. He slid his arms under Chuuya's armpits and hoisted him up, supporting some of his weight.

Chuuya fell into him and the two looked at each other, their faces close, Chuuya, for some reason stared at him, eyes wide and sparkling. Dazai promptly looked away and then began their slow trek to his bedroom.

He sat Chuuya on the bed and then grabbed a shirt from his bedroom floor, folding it a few times before he placed Chuuya's foot down on it "don't lean on it too much, or the blood will soak through to the carpet and you know I can't be bothered to clean."

Chuuya nodded, even though Dazai wasn't looking at him "okay," he responded, wiggling his toes childishly.

Dazai then got up, returning only moments later with rolls of bandages and a packet of plasters.

He sat down with his legs crossed, placing Chuuya's bleeding foot in his lap.

He placed two plasters in the form of an 'x' and then began to wrap bandages like he'd done it one too many times. Chuuya knew what to ask and what not to, and when not to but he was drunk so he let his mouth run without permission from his brain. "Why did you wear bandages those few days?"

He noticed Dazai's hands still for a fleeting moment, only to resume what they were doing seconds later "just for fun!" He looked up and smiled at him "makes me feel like a fashion icon."

Somehow, Chuuya bought the lie and snorted in response "you look like a fucking mummy, not an icon," he laughed while shaking his head.

Dazai chuckled a little "that's your opinion, hatwrack, I for one think I'm the best dressed ever."

"Pftt- you? Dazai you dressed in black hoodies and oversized jumpers with holes in them for two years."

"Okay? Got more bitches than you did"

"You didn't get any bitches, we were too busy wrapped up in each other's lives for that. Also, there aren't supposed to be holes in your clothes!"

Dazai tugged on the bandage on his foot slightly harder "ow you shit!" Dazai grinned and shrugged "do that again and I'll defenstrate you!"

Dazai pouted at him "aww look at you threatening me with a good time! And using big boy words!! You've grown so much chibi!"

Chuuya should have known something was wrong with what Dazai had just said, but the thought didn't stay in his brain for long, not much did, the present moment was the only thing he could process and then it became a distant memory stored somewhere in his brain.

Thankfully, Dazai didn't take very long to finish, standing up while Chuuya was left to twirl and stretch his foot around so the gauze could fit more comfortably around.

"Did you manage to wash any part of yourself?" Dazai asked, throwing pyjamas in Chuuya's direction, having them land straight on Chuuya's head.

The older pulled them off of his head and frowned "just my teeth."

Dazai shrugged "should be good enough," he replied before going to, presumably wash up as well.

Chuuya decided it was best if he didn't cause any more trouble and got in bed, he fell back and rolled to the end of the bed and then rolled in the other direction, making himself into a roll, he shuffled so the covers were up to his nose and his legs were tucked warmly under.

It took a few minutes but Dazai did eventually come out of the bathroom but instead of Chuuya feeling him shuffle next to him and hearing a complaint about hogging the blankets, he was still alone.

He opened his eyes and found Dazai pulling a spare duvet out of his closet. He then watched him take the second pillow on the bed. Chuuya's eyebrows furrowed "what are you doing?" He asked, pushing his tired body to sit up.

Dazai looked at him for a moment, with a gaze that Chuuya couldn't name.

"Sleeping on the couch."

"What? Why? You can just sleep with me."

The brunet shook his head, "no Chuuya, I don't think your boyfriend is going to appreciate me sleeping on the same bed as you."

Chuuya looked at him, confused "what? That's not bothered you before!" He said, raising his voice louder than he intended.

"Just-" Dazai started, his tone equal to Chuuya's, he calmed himself and sighed "just stay in here and sleep."

He closed the door after that, not leaving room for them to argue more.

They were arguing (properly, not just little quarrels here and there) much too often, Chuuya noticed.

He wanted to storm in there and demand explanations, but when he tried getting up, his head spun, and he staggered back onto the bed. He huffed, giving up.

It would all be fine in the morning anyway.

He just needed to talk to Dazai sober, and see if he was okay.