claire de luna, a sweet song of death,
loneliness, yet beauty and intimacy.

a song for those in and out of love.

a song for the stars, beautifully sad.

that was us.

this certain song, claire de luna, makes me feel as though i'm the only person alive.

i wasn't the only one though, i had you.

had.

past tense.

my mind flashes back to the lonely nights i'd spend drifting through a galaxy of dreams in my head.

filled with everything and nothing, as though god had spilled his very own bucket of paint on it.

every color, beautiful sunrise & set, every cloud, every blue, green, yellow, purple, red, orange.

every star.

that's what you were to me.

my mind flashes back to nights when we were nothing but careless teenagers, dancing messily to no music in your grandma's old ballroom, the only sound being our laughs and giggles, the moonlight shining through. 

this simple melody puts me at peace.
it reminds me of you y'know.

don't worry about me being sad because i'm never that when I listen to it.

i'm not happy either though.
just a warm blanket of melancholy.

sometimes, i want to fall asleep and never wake up, just to see you.

even if it's one last time.

star-crossed.

i never believed in stuff like that, it was always you.

but now i'm starting to think otherwise.

when ever i hear your name, i can't help but smile a small smile of misery, happiness, and what might be a small line of hope.

hope that you made it somewhere well.

hope that you're a beautiful angel dressed in white or a shining star in the beautiful night.

hope that when your heart stopped beating, you'd remember and never forget.

that you didn't go scared or panicked, but content.

the small smile on your gentle face as your eyes shut peacefully.

hope that you were able to think of life as a book and when you read the last page, all the memories rushed back and you knew it was a good read.

claire de luna.

oh how i love that beautiful song.

like one in my head.

not happy nor sad.

like us.

claire de luna

like a dying star.
like a rising sun.

20 years ago.

i heard that beautiful melody, laid eyes on your gently glowing face.

my time has come now.

i hope we shall meet again.

In loving memory of
Jeon Jungkook
1997 - 2019
an amazing friend, son, and  grandson.

In loving memory of
Kim Taehyung
1995 - 2039
a beautiful mess.