Meeting a stranger, who had just feasted on the flesh of a deceased animal, and with its blood still fresh on his hands and tongue, wasn't the most ideal setting that my brother and Caleb would had voted on. They would scold me for still standing in the danger zone and for not running for my life. No doubt they would be screaming at me for still gazing at the man like he was the starry night sky and they would overreact like they always do.

Truthfully, it wasn't as though I was frozen in place because of fear. It wasn't as though I wanted to end up in the same fate as that poor animal with no meat left on its bones. Running wasn't my forte. I wasn't a runner; I was more of a sitter, a sleeper, an eater, and a watcher. I wasn't the most athletic being in the world and seeing how this person can hunt wild animals with his bare hands, his speed must be far greater than mine.

Why would I exert effort on running when I know that I had no chance on outrunning him? I'll just stay still, wait for whatever was in stored for me, and see if I can change this man's taste-buds.

I wasn't quite sure of this person's identity or his main goal for being here but one thing was for certain— I did not like his diet.

"Your taste in food is the same with Caleb," I commented. "Please exclude corpses from your main source of nutrition," I deadpanned.

If Caleb returned looking like this man, I will make sure to scrub the fur he had on his crotch.

I walked to the entrance of our small house and urged him to come inside.

"Would you like to sit beside me?" I asked him.

The man stared at me with an unreadable expression and nodded. Caleb will have an overjoyed heart if he found out that there were two people waiting for his return. He should be grateful that I recruited people. These two will certainly get along well.

There were many things that I would like to know about this man sitting beside me. Lucius told me to be friendly to the right people and I was positive that I was making him proud for making acquaintance with a man that no one would even dare make eye contact to. Of course aniki would tell me to ensure the trustworthiness of the people around me. Therefore I must verify if this man was dependable or not.

If he can pass my test then he will be allowed to stay with me. But he must be terrified for what I had up my sleeve. Only a few people were known to have passed this test. Only a few survived. Only a few lived up to this day after the trials that I had given them. They were allowed to live to tell the tale but such tales were not meant for the ears to hear.

"I will have to ask you a few questions to see if I can trust you are not," I told him. "Please answer them truthfully. I cannot assure your safety if you are dishonest with me."

The man narrowed his lone eye and tilted his head to lend me his full attention. My first question will be an instant death for him. I shall show no mercy.

"Do you...like carrots?" I asked him.

"Yes, but I prefer them raw for they keep that crunch with every bite," he drawled.

Impossible...

Surely he can't pass this next one.

"Do you snore when you sleep?"

If I happen to become drowsy later on with no Caleb in sight then I at least have a backup snorer.

"It is said that my snore keeps the flames of war awake," he replied.

A good night sleep was just promised to me when he had answered that.

Aniki forgive me, but if he answers this next question perfectly then I am afraid that I would be having a man that you wouldn't vote on staying by my side.

"Do you have in your possession, a ling?"

The man rose up rigidly and grabbed his crotch with much resolve.

"My mbolo is right here."

I shut my eyes in conclusion of these trials. "You are indeed someone that I did not expect."

Even Caleb did not pass the test with his grudge towards all greens but because he had lovely and cuddly fur, I made an exception.

"What are you doing here alone?" he questioned me.

Ah, it was his turn to give me questions. Fine then, he earned that privilege.

"My companion went out for a bit to hunt for food. He will come back soon, how about you?"

It was a while before he answered my query that I thought that he wasn't going to reply. I was going to use extreme measures to milk information from him such as planting fungi on his toes.

"I'm looking for someone," he replied with such boredom in his voice.

"Who are you looking for?"

I watched his every movement. He raised his index finger and slowly put it through the hot incarceration of our bonfire. The pyram joyfully consumed the skin covering his index finger until it turned black.

"I'm looking for a little kid that ran away from our cave. My brother's lover kept bothering me about that little brat," he said.

His expression twisted into a frown and he withdrew his index finger so that he can form his hand into a tight fist.

"What I wouldn't give for her just to die in the most painful and shameful way possible. I want to get away from them. She makes my skin crawl."

His tone was serious yet it was mixed with some slothfulness. I can tell that he wanted to throw that person he loathed into the fire.

"This woman must be really bothering you," I deadpanned. "If you do not like it there, why don't you leave?" I asked.

The man continued to possess a scowl. "I asked myself the same question every day," he replied. I did not bother to further prod into his personal issues. I did not inherit my brother's nosiness.

I can somehow relate to his troubles. We all had our taste of women and it wasn't a pleasant one.

"My name is Lettuce," I introduced myself. My brother told me that it was common courtesy to introduce yourself to someone you just met but just now, I decided to rename myself.

It was time to take on a new life starting with a new name. I was now reborn. I have always wanted to be a vegetable. It was an honor to be one.

"Slade," he returned.

The conversation ended and both of us stayed silent. It was extremely difficult for me to be with this person. I was used to dealing with raucous men and women and I wasn't prepared for such silence.

My eyes took a slight glimpse at our guest and I noticed how he was wiping his mouth every now and then not because of the blood on his lips but because he was drooling. His eyes would make passes at my place and he didn't even avoid my gaze when I had caught him looking.

My stomach grumbled in protest and I had to stand up and go out to gather fruits from the trees that I have grown.

Once I have gathered enough fruits for myself and for our guest, I turned around and found him staring at me with curiosity.

"There's something strange about you. You smell sweet. You smell too sweet like an overripe fruit. You seem harmless yet at the same time I feel danger from being around you. I have a good feeling about you yet at the same time there is something bad that I detect from your being. I don't know what to feel. What are you?"

I had met a man who had lost his way to sanity. The lettuce must guide him.

I was that lettuce.

"I am a vegetable and I am due to be consumed," I replied.

He was more confusing than Caleb.

"My core tells me that I must possess you..." He murmured desperately.

"You have eaten too much meat that you are not thinking straight."

Slade took lazy steps towards me and stood too close. I worry that he will get my clothes stained with animal blood. I will ask Caleb to find a lake where I can bathe all of us.

"I wish to destroy you and at the same time I wish to leave you unharmed," he murmured.

I narrowed my gaze at him. Will he continue saying unclear statements of confusion? This will be a good opportunity to start a conversation with him then. I worried before that we would continue to have small talks. He had opened this great opportunity for me.

"I wish to slap you and at the same time I wish to shove this fruit down your throat. Either way would be beneficial for me," I deadpanned.

Slade removed the patch covering his eye and showed haziness which then cleared up and revealed a vivid color of red. His now red and blue eyes stared down at me and a wicked grin spread across his lips.

"I'm getting tired of speaking with my food," he murmured at me.

I blinked at him in bewilderment and I took a step back.

"Pardon?" I asked him.

"I have been patient long enough. The first time I saw you I wanted to immediately tear your flesh from your bones and eat you," he confessed before a chuckle escaped from his mouth. "My brother will regret choosing that woman. He is an idiot."

I can see the real issue at hand now. Was I dealing with some sort of rivalry between him and his brother? Was this what I was dealing with? Why did I suddenly become food in his eyes?

"My brother is an idiot too but I find him endearing," I retorted. "I will not exchange."

If Lucius was here, he would be caging me in his proud arms.

Slade lowered his head and I stared at his blood-stained lips. I turned my head from his descending lips and frowned.

"You cannot convert me to your diet. I am a vegetarian forever. Share your ideals with Caleb."

My eyes widened when he had grabbed me roughly by my arm and yanked me forward. "I must keep you in my cave..." he started grumbling to himself. "No one must steal you from me. No one will dare enter my nest..."

"Caves are not my habitat," I told him.

His grip on my arm tightened. "I will eat your arm first and save your head for last. I can tell that you will be tasty," he concluded.

He was drooling quite excessively so.

"Should I be flattered by your statement?"

Slade became increasingly agitated. "My instincts tell me you are more valuable than you look. I will hide you in my stomach before the world makes use of your value," he explained to me.

Aniki, I admit, I made poor judgments in life. I should not have placed my basis of trustworthiness from the mere possession of lings.

I stomped my foot on the ground and a portion of soil spiked up and hit the deranged man directly to his chin. Vines shot out and restrained the man up in the air but he had managed to snap those restraints and land perfectly on the ground.

My body jolted when he started charging towards me and I let the zephyrs carry my body up before his hand could clench around my neck.

"Get inside my mouth!" he snarled at me with much slobber in his words.

I can relate very much with him. He must be looking at me like how I look at my carrots.

"Don't worry; I'll cook each body part in different dishes."

I think all of the world's problems were just solved when he tried reassuring me that.

"Make me extra tasty then," I deadpanned.

The zephyrs took me safely on a high branch of a tree and Slade would strike down each tree that I would take refuge in with his strength alone.

"Come down Lettuce...Cleanse my tongue from that hanuman flesh," he playfully cooed.

Hanuman?

Did he...did he eat Crowley?

"Quickly, spit him out," I monotonously demanded. He did not know what kind of things Crowley had placed in his mouth. What if he had gotten poisoned?

Slade began to agitate the tree that I was on and I held on to a branch for safety.

"Do not move me any further. Caleb will get worried if he finds me nowhere from where he left me," I told him.

"Who is this Caleb?" he questioned me with an annoyed tone. "Why do you keep mentioning him in front of me?"

They haven't even met yet but I can guess that they wouldn't get along anymore.

No matter, there was still room for improvement. They will become the best of friends if given time.

"My fluffy pet who I much rather prefer to be with now than you," I deadpanned.

Slade growled in a beast-like manner with his teeth turning jag-like in structure. "I do not share my food!"

A silhouette of another body came out from the trees and landed a powerful strike against Slade's face which sent him soaring to the other side. I didn't notice how my chest thumped so hard until it began to slow down.

I was relieved to finally see him.

"And I don't share my mate with anyone."

=========================================================

A/N: AHHH SUPER LATE UPDATE AND IT'S SHORT. I'll try and update again tomorrow. Please bear with meh. 

You must have this question in your mind: "Is Slade still Lucian's mate?" and the answer is yes. In the old version, Slade referred to Lucian as his "mate" but in this one he referred to Lucian as his food. Hahaha