Something was definitely wrong with Fenris today. I admit that he had times when I ended up doubting his cognitive and rational thinking but those moments were minimal...very minimal. My wolf was poles apart from the rest but he was special in a good and fantastic way.

But really...what the heck had gotten into him today?

"Breux why are you storing food in the pit?"

Someone tell me why that fresh kill wasn't in our stomach yet.

Fenris ignored my query and plowed the dug up soil back to the pit where it was extracted, burying the stag in the process. That stag should be in the pit of our belly for digestion and not in the pit of soil for decomposition. I pray to the Goddess that Ulmer would get an allergic reaction to his own fur and possibly die from the lack of air because if he caught the scent of this stag, Fenris and I would go on another few days of eating weeds.

My wolf sprinted out through the dead forest and I was left in great wonders on why he was suddenly ignoring me. Did I say something wrong? Fenris had never disregarded me for anything I would say. If I did say something that I think that would offend him, I would apologize without delay. After all, it was him and me against the world now.

"Talk to me Breux, remember that there shouldn't be any secrets between us right?"

Yes, it was just the two of us. It wasn't as if I felt ungrateful for having him but even when we had each other, the world around us felt so dull and colorless. I was sure that Fenris felt the same way. We lost our mate at the same time that we lost our pack. It was so sudden yet the pain was excruciating. The sense of doom was there. It was an abrupt crack to a mirror of hope that quickly shattered into irreversible pieces.

That day I thought it was all over for us. Though it was painful but we were ready to accept death as it was because...we already lost everything. It sounded pathetic of me but I truly wished that we weren't here now. It didn't matter if there was no funeral or if our bodies would be openly decomposing for a passerby to see. Dying was a hundred times better than living a life emptied of purpose.

There was no point on seeing another sunrise.

There was no point on opening these eyes.

Because every time we breathe, it just reminded us of how alone we really were.

"Breux?" I called out in my last attempt to catch Fenris' attention.

"He's here Droog! I can smell him!" my wolf excitedly chirped as he ran around in circles.

"Huh? Who's here?" The only person I knew who was with us in this decayed and hopeless forest was Ulmer, but I doubt Fenris would ever feel excited for that stronzo no matter how good-natured my wolf was.

Fenris abruptly stopped on his circling before leaping up like an excited pup and howling "MAAATE!" shamelessly.

"Fenris what the heck is happening to you?"

No, he couldn't be talking about our mate. Our mate was dead years ago and if there was one person who I'd suspect making my wolf like this that would be...

"Fenris you're excited about Conall's mate. He isn't our mate," I reminded my wolf. This was really unexpected. Who knew we would run into him in this place? Don't tell me he was a werewolf hunter.

Still, I knew the longing Fenris had but it wasn't right to settle for our deceased brother's mate just because noona used him as a replacement to save our life.

This just didn't sit right with me.

Fenris continuously disregarded my warnings and sprinted away. The closer we got there the more restless my wolf became. I was very worried for the future events because I didn't want to be involved with Conall's mate in a way that my brother could have been involved with him if he was still alive.

My conscience won't make me sleep.

Once we got to the King of the forest which was this big and old gargantuan tree, we immediately caught our cousin Ulmer harassing a very charming blonde. Conall's mate was indifferent to Ulmer's advances yet my wolf and I weren't just going to sit back and watch someone be yet again victimized by Ulmer's assaultive dicklet.

Fenris jumped out with a low grumble of rage continuously rumbling in the back of his throat. Ulmer snapped out and looked at us nervously.

"Fenris...I was about to meet up with you. I found us entertainment. We can share."

Satisfying his hairy canary was all he could think about while getting tracked down by blood-thirsty pale leeches. 

"Entertainment?" we spoke through the pack link. "The only thing we'll find entertaining is tearing you to shreds."

I had always wanted to get back to Ulmer for every crap he laid on us but the purposeless life drained me from any willpower of actually biting his face off.

"Fenris is it?" Conall's mate asked. The tone of his voice was monotonous but Fenris acted like he just heard a God speak to him.

"Woah...Woah droog! He looks really handsome!" Fenris exclaimed in astonishment.

I released a sigh. "He isn't our mate, remember?"

I knew that it was hard to accept but our real mate was gone now. This one...wasn't ours and I knew very well that Fenris understood that.

"I know droog but...Conall is gone now and won't Conall be happy if we protect his pretty mate for him?" Fenris asked with a hopeful tone in his voice.

Fenris...

Conall's orb of bond was in our chest and with him gone; his mate would be drawn to us because of the orb that originally belonged to Conall. We owed our life to Conall and it was only reasonable that we repay him by protecting his mate.

"Okay, you're right. Conall is gone now and because he sacrificed his core for us we have the responsibility to protect what was given to us."

Besides, he didn't seem to be such a troublesome guy. He looked...dull to me. Maybe his life was uneventful or just plain old boring? Who would even venture in a dead forest other than two jackass wolves hoping to find food and shelter away from werewolf hunters?

The blonde freed one of his hands from his glove and offered his palm to us. Fenris and he immediately had a mutual understanding of things at first meeting and here I was dying from edginess.

I was afraid that he would reject my wolf and look at us funnily but he didn't do either of that. It didn't show on his face but I think he really was trying to comprehend my wolf and his actions.

Once his hand and my wolf's paw touched, a tidal wave of warmth washed over us. It was like all the colors of the world returned and he unexpectedly looked like he was glowing even more so than before.

He really was...pretty.

With everything that had occurred and with the losses that had transpired in our life because of our weakness, I didn't have the right to search for someone who would love us back.

I wanted to be forgiven for possessing something that completed the integrity of being a werewolf. This orb and this life shouldn't be with us and yet they were already here. These things can no longer be returned and the only thing we can do about them now was to care for them just how my brother would if he was still here.

https://youtu.be/Osn5hwmJmZg

I'm sorry if we couldn't protect you...

I'm sorry that we had to leave you...

I'm sorry for having this orb in my chest when it should have died along with your heart...

Conall let me borrow your bond for awhile.

I know it's selfish but I'll have it in my chest for now.

I want to repay you for saving me.

And the only way I can do that is if I cared for him in a way that you would if you are still here.

Conall...are you watching?

Please continue watching over us with the Goddess along with everyone else.

This life that you gave us, I'll use it to serve the person that you could have fallen in love with.

I promise I won't fall in love with him. He belongs to you and I will forever respect that.

...

...

...

I thought we would be protecting someone who had no worries in life.

Boy, I was so wrong.

Tell me how can such a dry man like Lucian wound up in such knotty and problematic situations?

It felt like we were having a tag of war with the world. I didn't want him out of my sight because either he would get snatched away by someone or he would wander off by himself.

Most days I spent with him, I would point out what Conall would love about him and what my little brother would nag about. Conall hated recklessness and Lucian actually had a sign of that word on his forehead.

Lucian had this warmth that won't be obvious to people he didn't care about but that warmth was evident whenever it came to the people he hold dearest to. Conall and Lucian would definitely get into heated arguments with the latter always ending up winning. My brother would treat him grumpily but would secretly like taking care of him. I know that with the slightest attention given to him by the blonde, my brother would redden up like a tomato.

Despite their constant arguments, Lucian had so many characteristics that would make Conall adore him. My brother would adore his sweet fruity scent and the way he would show his greatest concerns in the most subtle ways. Conall loved the color blue and there was no doubt that he'll get lost in those eyes that would make one question if Lucian really had any affection for you. Those eyes concealed emotions yet when they glimmer, you know you were looking at the imitation of the ocean that sparkled with the sun's honesty.

If there was one more thing that Conall would love about Lucian, that would be his growing determination to put someone else before him.

It was something...something that Conall required from my own mate and something that I had already seen in his mate.

"That person should love you unconditionally and should be someone who can see right through your false act of bravery. He should be someone who would stick his neck out for you and just...didn't care about status, repute, and power."

You said those things Conall and yet I dared apply them to your mate.

"I shall keep you safe with all my power," was what Lucian said when we were facing XII and that time my heart truly awakened. 

I was just flustered with him at first; I forced myself to believe that it was nothing too deep and yet the further I try to save the boat from sinking I didn't notice that my own body was getting dragged to the depths of affection.

I understand if you won't forgive me. I won't forgive myself too because I knew that he belonged to you.

I didn't keep my promise to you.

Everything that you would like about him I ended up liking too.

Everything that would make you anxious, sad, angry, and worried— I was feeling them now.

Conall... forgive me.

"Why aren't you beside Lucian? He was really worried about you, you know?" Lucius asked me.

"That's right droog! Hec that hairy urchin almost got us but we were stronger than him! We boomed him away droog but Lucian was really worried. Fenris feels bad if Fenris isn't with him sleeping," my wolf protested.

"I'm sorry breux, give me a moment okay?"  I requested. 

Fenris fell silent for a second before whining in concern. "Are you alright droog? What is it?" 

I was standing outside of Lucian's room after the blonde had fallen asleep. Being with him my wolf and I felt amazing but at the same time, I felt guilty. We shouldn't be so comfortable with him. It wasn't our place to be.

"Can I be honest with you?" I asked Lucius who then crossed his arms in front his chest and leaned back against the wall across us.

"I'm listening," Lucius urged.

I took a deep and heavy breath before looking at Lucian's brother directly. "I'm not Lucian's original mate," I confessed. "Someone, no, my brother sacrificed himself to save me from the death of having my own mate kill himself. I'm not...Lucian shouldn't be with me," I spoke.

Lucius was intently listening to me and his facial expression remained indifferent. "If there's one thing I would want to teach my brother about this world, that would be not settling for a bond that's blessed to you right off the bat," Lucius responded. "You create relationships that work for you and if it does and it brings you happiness, hold on to it tight because you forged it with another person," he told me before walking forward and placing his hand on my shoulder.

"You say that your brother was originally my brother's mate and he used his bond to save you from your own heartbreak. That says a lot already. He trusted you to be there for Lucian because he won't be able to. If you feel guilty for loving my brother then you aren't putting importance to what your brother had sacrificed. You're here and he's not and that isn't because you forcefully took that bond away from him. Use the privilege he gave you and don't waste it on something that your brother won't even bat an eyelash on," he advised before smiling.

"If I was your brother...I would thank you for each heartbeat that pounds for a person I can no longer protect," he finished before giving me a gentle pat on the shoulder.

"Fenris is sorry for being selfish droog. Up until now, Fenris is only thinking of himself and how happy Fenris is whenever he is with Lucian. Fenris didn't know that it made you sad. Fenris isn't a good boy. Fenris is bad..." my wolf whimpered.

"No breux, it's my fault. I'm sorry...I'm sorry..."

I knew that my pack's passing and my mate committing suicide were not my fault but a huge part of me decided to create this burden of guilt because I couldn't let go of the past. I clung to those memories and created scenarios of what if's  to cope but it only made me sink further.

I just...I just miss them. I wish I could talk to them and tell them how much I love them. I wish I was given more time to cuddle up with my siblings and talk to my mama's growing bump. I wish I was given more time to make papa proud of me and make him witness how I grow into a great alpha like him.

Now I can never do that. 

I didn't notice that I was tearing up until I started sobbing. Lucius left me alone and I cried silently in the quiet hallway. I heard the door creak open and my blurry vision caught Lucian coming out of the room and squatting in front of me.

He stayed there with me and uttered no word until I finally calmed down.

"I'm sorry...did I wake you?" I asked him. Lucian blinked sleepily before swaying his head and brushing some of my tears with the side of his index finger.

"Just now...I heard the voice of the boy that had talked in my head nonstop a few years back," he told me. "I never paid heed to him before and he babbled nonsense. I felt nothing for him whatsoever even when he suddenly stopped talking one day."

My eyes widened when Lucian's eyes cast down and his lips pursed. "But now remembering him...I regretted not speaking to him. He seemed to be a good person."

Did Conall submerge and made contact with Lucian without our knowledge?

"What did he say to you?" I asked.

Lucian's eyes raised and he tilted his head to the side.

"I'll leave you to him is what he said to me," Lucian responded before blankly looking up. "Where did he go I wonder?"

That question strike me and I pulled Lucian into my arms before continuing my sniffles and hiccups. Lucian returned my embrace and I shut my eyes tightly.

With your permission I will call him as my mate.

With your approval I will care and love for him as you would for him.

This person's scent, I shall cherish it.

"Why do you cry Caleb?" Lucian asked as he stroked my back. "Do not worry, I am here. I will keep you safe."

"If your mate is like that then...we wouldn't have to worry about you all the time."

Yeah...I found him Conall.

You can rest now.

Thank you. 

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A/N: This got 10x more emotional than the first version haha what do you think?