Today we went to visit noona to ask her about how we can find the moon's grace. My wolf was giddy about searching for the person who the Goddess paired up with us and I on the other hand did this entirely to support him.

Truthfully, I wasn't interested in finding our match. I wasn't even thrilled in the idea of forming a bond with someone because I wanted to focus on reestablishing ourselves in the pack and spending my time with my family. But I know how important this was to Fenris and if I can find another person who would love my wolf as much as I love him, then I see no problem with at least putting an effort.

"You're interested in the moon's grace? I did not expect that from you," noona chuckled and placed a steaming hot cocoa in front of me. "Then again, you and your wolf are an unusual bunch."

"Fenris is very keen to search for him or her. I'm not interested in anyone from the pack and I doubt I will be so I'll invest my time searching for that person with my wolf," I responded to noona.

Searching for the moon's grace was considered righteous in werewolf tradition but werewolves were really blessed with the patience to do so.

Noona nodded and sipped her tea. With how werewolves still maintain their youthful appearance no one outside of the pack can guess noona's age.

"I understand that very much but I am warning you now Caleb; once you and moon's grace cross roads, you will never be able to find a replacement if you lose that person. If that person dies you die. Moon's grace has the capability to bring you the greatest happiness and at the same time the worst of sufferings," she warned.

"Fenris don't care! Fenris wants moon's grace!" my wolf cheered.

My wolf was imprudent when it came to this.

"What if I die? Will that person die too?" I asked her. It can't be one-sided death can it? It wasn't fair that we get to die while that person can bond with someone else after our death.

Okay that was a selfish thought.

"If your moon's grace is another werewolf then yes," noona answered.

"Are you sure about this Breux? There is no backing out once we seal the deal," I told my wolf.

"Oh please droog! Fenris wants moon's grace very much so!"

I really had no say to this from the start.

"There is another thing you must know," noona said. "Not all werewolves are given with moon's grace."

What a relief.

Oh wait a minute.

I was pleased to hear that there was a chance that we no longer have to spend effort and time in soul searching but then I realized that if this Lucichan did not exist, Fenris will be inconsolable.

"Then how do we know if that person is out there?" I asked.

We need to at least try. If Lucichan did not exist then Fenris and I will just have to focus on the pack. It would take some time for Fenris to recover but I doubt he'll sulk forever.

"If you truly wish to know then there is this method done by those who seek their true mate..."

...

...

...

"Ouch!" I yelped when I hit my thumb with the hammer.

"Droog I thought we're building a wooden bathtub?" Fenris asked.

I sighed. "We are...what do you think it looks like?" Building was another thing I wasn't blessed with so it was no surprise that the result would look terrible.

"It looks like a fence. Who are we keeping out droog?"

I groaned and tossed the hammer to the side, feeling teary-eyed.

This was hopeless.

"Don't cry droog! Let me out and I'll build it!" Fenris volunteered.

An image of Fenris trying to hold the hammer in between his paws caused me to accidentally blow out my snot from the sudden burst of laughter.

"You don't even have fingers Breux how can you hold the hammer?" I asked him.

"What are you building Caleb?" Papa asked from behind me. My embarrassment rose up and I wiped my teary eyes with my arm.

"It's...It's supposed to be a bathtub," I murmured shyly.

I expected papa to laugh at me for my futile efforts of actually building something but it was more foolish of me to even think of papa like that.

I felt him pat the back of my head and he picked up the hammer that I threw to the side out of frustration.

"It looks like you were having a hard time why didn't you ask me for help?" papa asked.

My shoulders slumped. "I...I thought I'd be able to do it since I'm old enough."

"Age doesn't come with skill you know," Papa told me and bent down to assess my work. "If you want to be good at something you have to practice doing it; learn from someone who's good at it, and have the patience to continuously endure failure that comes with the process of being good at it," he lectured before looking up at me with a smile.

Papa had always been encouraging. He never ran out of patience. He was full of wisdom and strength. Never once did I see him cry.

I always wanted to be like him.

"Let's do this again," he declared.

We spent the day building the bathtub that we will use to connect with the moon's grace. My brothers dropped by initially to pest us but they ended up helping too. Mama brought snacks and watched us work and papa also taught us how to carve figures from wood.

Nightfall came and before having dinner I filled the tub with water with the help of Conall.

"You're going to try and connect with your mate? What's wrong with the omegas here?" he asked me. We were carrying buckets of water from the well which was the main source of water of the pack.

Before I could give him an answer, he realized that his question was unnecessary. "Oh wait, never mind that. I would rather have you mated to someone outside of the pack," he scoffed.

A grin spread across my lips. "Why's that?" I asked him.

"None of them were interested in you when Ulmer was still the big shot. None of them even stood up for you," he replied while bearing a stern face.

We poured the water into the tub and went back to get more. "Are you worried about me getting mated to someone from the pack who was once against me?" I teased causing Conall to hit me with the bucket and glare at me.

"I'm agonizing on the fact that you'll fall for anyone who'd spread their legs for you even if they did not do shit for you when you couldn't stand up for yourself!" he scolded.

Honestly, who was older again?

"You're afraid of me ending up with a fawner and a lickspittle," I clarified.

"It's good that we understand one another," he scoffed making me hide my smile from the hot-tempered teenager.

"What are the characteristics that my mate should have to gain your approval Oh Great and Wise Conall?" I asked him. If my mate passed Conall's criteria then without a doubt, that mate was indispensible and Conall would kick my ass if I lost him or her.

I gathered water from the well while Conall thought about my question.

"That person should love you unconditionally and should be someone who can see right through your false act of bravery. He should be someone who would stick his neck out for you and just...didn't care about status, repute, and power," Conall answered without a hint of malarkey. "If your mate is like that then...we wouldn't have to worry about you all the time."

My eyes swelled up from my brother's touching words and I let go of the bucket to give him a hug that he rejected with all his denial and bashful self.

"What the heck are you doing you idiot?! Let go of me!" he growled.

"So you do love us!" I cried out of joy while my wolf hiccupped and sobbed.

"Droog this is the nicest thing Conall has ever told us!"

"What rubbish are you going on about now?!" Conall snapped.

Once dinner was done, I stripped out of my clothes and stood nude at the back of our house where the tub was. Being nude outside of the house wasn't much of a big deal for those who weren't omegas. But this was a trait of werewolves deemed embarrassing by other races for we would casually mingle with each other without a strip of clothing on.

The water in the tub carried the reflection of the moon and I looked at myself feeling slightly nervous.

"In order to know if your mate is out there, you will have to submerge yourself in the water bearing the reflection of the moon. The more complete the moon is, the better results you'll get. Yotz will give you hints if that person is out there and those hints sometimes go unnoticed if you don't observe yourself enough. Once you perform this method, you'll have to rely on yourself to find the answer you are seeking. You will be the mirror to your moon's grace," was what noona told me.

I got inside of the tub and shivered as I sat. The cold water bit my skin but being a naturally warm-blooded being, the water will have no other choice but to adapt to my own body temperature later on.

"Ready Breux?" I asked my wolf.

"Ready!" he responded enthusiastically.

I took a deep breath and gradually lied down. I shut my eyes and waited for anything to happen but I ended up resurfacing to catch my breath. With a few more times of immersing underwater, I reached the point of defeat.

"Nothing is happening," I sighed.

"You have to enter into the planar state with your wolf," I heard noona say right beside me causing me to jolt and yelp from surprise. My whole family was also there beside her eating snacks while they watch.

"Are you...are you guys enjoying yourselves?" I asked in annoyance.

"Oui (Yes)" they answered simultaneously with a nod.

"Fenris is so glad to have whole family here! See droog? We have to try some more!" my wolf pushed on.

I really had no choice.

"What do you mean by planar state?" I asked her.

"You and your wolf have to exist in the physical word together just like when you fought with Ulmer," she answered.

"That...I don't know how we did that," I replied. I guess we got carried away by our emotions that day.

"We'll help you," papa said.

Noona held my shoulder, mama went to the other side, and together they shoved me down without warning. Papa's golden eyes lit up and I became debilitated underwater.

Confusion wrecked havoc inside of my head and my chest pounded in fret. I can't help but feel like they were trying to kill us rather than help us. One of my siblings got inside the tub and stepped on my chest and judging by the ability to heat up, these were Claude's feet.

The two women who held me down withdrew their arms from the simmering water. A slightly heavier weight added inside the tub on top of my stomach and Claude's heat died down and was abruptly replaced by a freezing cold temperature from Conall.

My body was being exposed to extreme ends of temperature as my oxygen declined. A sense of great trepidation and doom shadowed over me and my wolf.

"Fenris you have to do something I can't breathe!" I panicked.

"Papa's power is stopping me from coming out!" my wolf wheezed. I shut my eyes tightly and my mouth opened to gasp for air. Bubbles came out and I inhaled water into my nostrils and mouth.

"Caleb!" my wolf growled. A tail sprouted out from my back and my ears retracted and sprouted differently on top of my head.

Conall's freezing temperature became the last shift and my whole body floated in a daze once my brothers left the tub.

What was this?

"What's going on?" my wolf and I questioned.

We were awake yet we paid no consciousness to those around us.

We were alive yet we felt like we have ceased to exist.

My eyes widened and I jolted from my place. My hand immediately went to my aching chest and I shut my eyes tightly.

Why did it hurt so much?

My hands flew to my head and I executed shaky breaths from the intense pressure in my chest as I rocked back and forth.

Why?

Why?!

WHY?!

We released a bellowing scream that caught the attention of the whole pack. My family attempted to calm us down but we ended up thrashing around demanding justice for whatever this was.

We felt like we were still being drowned when we weren't.

It was suffocating.

Make it stop...Please someone...Make it stop!

"What do you want from me?! Why do you keep doing this to me?! What have I ever done to you? Get away from me! Get away!" we screamed.

We did not know how we ended up spewing these words but no matter how much we cried it out, the pain wouldn't go away.

Papa was finally able to get a hold of us and he secured us into his embrace. Noona sent the spying eyes home while mama and papa consoled us.

"It's going to be okay son...No one is hurting you..." Papa cooed as he tightened his grasp on me and stopped me from struggling. Mama stroked my cheek and kept on kissing me while my siblings became quiet.

"It hurts so much...please take my heart out...take it out...it's all just the same..." we sobbed.

"No don't say that, where is this coming from son?" papa questioned in worry. "Where is this all coming from hmm? Don't say that; don't ever take your life."

His question was the same as mine: Where were these words coming from? We would never say this.

Once we were stable enough, mama dried us up and put us to bed while papa and noona conversed out of our room. Fenris withdrew from the physical state and my eyes stared at one place. My body became flaccid and not willing to move. I think all the life just abandoned me and left nothing but a vessel wandering about.

Mama stroked my hair and my chest tightened even more. Why was I upset with my own mother now? Why did I want her to get out of my sight? What was this sudden abhorrence out of nowhere?

"Can I have a word with Caleb please?" noona asked when she came into my room.

Mama nodded and gave me a good night kiss before leaving me in the room with noona who observed me from where I lied.

"How are you feeling Caleb?" noona asked before changing the subject of her question. "What I mean is; how is your mate feeling?" she asked me which made me grasp the root cause of all these emotions rampaging inside of me.

"These are...all of that person's feelings?" I asked her. Tears escaped my eyes and I bit my bottom lip before I emanated a forceful breath. My jaw clenched and I curled into a ball under the sheets of my bed.

"Yes...it would seem so," she answered grimly.

"It hurts...It hurts so much," I sobbed.

How can that person keep this all in? How can that person live with all of this pain?

"What do you plan to do? Will you stop connecting with your moon's grace from now on?" she asked.

"Th-the pain will stop if I do?" I asked her with a hopeful tone.

Noona bowed her head as an answer and I was left in my own thoughts for a second until Fenris joined in.

"We're going to stop?" Fenris asked sounding depressed.

"This pain is unbearable Fenris. I don't think I can—"

"So if we ever meet Lucichan, are we just going to abandon him whenever he feels this way?" he asked me causing my eyes to widen and guilt to seep inside my heart.

"If this is causing you too much pain then maybe you should give up on moon's grace," noona advised. "There are many people from the pack who can give you happiness that you must have expected from connecting," she added before turning around.

She was scorning me and with how I was acting, she had the right to do so.

"But if by some fate you were to meet the moon's grace..." she said and paused for a moment. "Remember how you gave up on that person in an instant and that giving up will give you no right to approach," she ended and left the room.

Fenris didn't talk to me any further that night. I wasn't able to sleep even when I was so tired. The pain that my mate had that we felt slowly dissipated and left nothing but guilt in me.

We had felt ache all our life and we were fortunate enough that we had our family to run to. We masked smiles for people no matter how much we were hurting inside but when we finally get to be alone, we pour our emotions out and get that suffocating weight off our chest.

But this person...this person just carried all that weight in him that it shocked me. It felt like I was being dragged into the bottom of the lake with no hopes of getting back up. I felt alone even when I was surrounded by people who cherished me. I felt so scared and helpless.

"Fenris...I'm sorry for being a coward. I just got scared...didn't you get scared?" I asked him hoping that he would respond.

"I was...But Lucichan is more scared and he can't do anything about it like we did," Fenris replied.

Didn't this person have anyone to soothe him? What caused him so much pain? What was he so afraid of?

The sun came up and I sighed. "I understand. We'll try again and...learn more about him."

If we ever crossed roads, I didn't want us to merely watch him pass by just because I didn't stick with him. I want Fenris to be able to approach him with pride because we were able to handle the pain he felt before. If he continued to feel this way, then Fenris and I will have to toughen up so we can escort him through it.

We'll be there for him and I hope that he'll do the same for us.

When Fenris replied cheerily, I finally permitted myself to submit to sleep. We'll need all the strength for tonight's session and I will have to let noona know that we weren't going to give up.

After struggling a sleepless night and finally being able to have the opportunity to sleep, an angry scream of a pack member brought us back to reality.

"Stronzo (Asshole), you gave my daughter to the rogues! What kind of Chief are you?!"

What did that bastard Ulmer do this time?

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A/N: Just wanna share this song cuz...Ah I don't know nyahahaha it's a very nice song that portrays this chapter so make sure to turn on the caption.

Should I make a book with the same characters in an alternate universe?