Ortiz

My eyes were stuck in a blank stare at nothing in particular as I slowly chewed the eggs that Corey had prepared for me. Although I knew I'd probably find them delicious in any other circumstance, they currently felt like sandpaper against my tongue, and I only forced myself to swallow because I knew my body required nutrients. I couldn't focus on the taste, or anything for that matter, as my mind was fully preoccupied with the idea of my imminent demise. 

I was rendered speechless after Benji told us our fate, not even able to come up with a single sarcastic remark that could comfort me. Instead, I fell limply back into my chair and stared down at my shoes in shock until I gathered the capability to move my legs and walk to the kitchen in a daze, where I was currently sulking at the island. 

Corey and I hadn't said one word to one another since then, both stuck in our own thoughts as he made us breakfast. We continued our silence as we sat beside one another, eating without so much as a peep. 

The dwindling effects of my withdrawals were no longer relevant as thoughts ran around in my head like a child let loose after devouring a year's worth of sugar. Nobody knew how much time we had, as Daffodil didn't know anything about the length of time between the tether formation he'd witnessed and the death of those attached to it.

The seemingly obvious answer to all of this would be to just accept or reject the bond, but in my head our situation was so much more complicated than that.

My fingers absentmindedly rubbed at the place where my neck met my shoulder, faint tingles emanating from the spot where my fading mating mark was placed as I pondered, pushing my eggs around the plate and ignoring the hungry rumbling of my stomach. 

My father's voice echoed harshly in the back of my mind, forever reminding me that us being together wasn't possible. A Beta being a submissive went against the core rules that were quite literally beaten into me from a young age. I knew that if my father were still alive, he would make me reject Corey and probably set me up with some submissive Omega with a 'good bloodline' that he deemed worthy of bearing my children. I shivered uncomfortably at the thought, clenching my fork tightly in my grasp. 

On the other hand, however selfish of me, I couldn't find it in me to reject Corey either. Somewhere deep down I craved his touch, longing for the feeling of freedom and completion that I'd been given a taste of when I was twisted up in the sheets underneath him soon after we'd first met. My wolf, Luka, who had gone eerily quiet lately, whined softly in the corner of my mind at that thought. 

I desired the feeling of being loved so bad, yet it was the forbidden fruit in my own personal Garden of Hell, complete with father's voice, incessantly reminding me that love meant vulnerability, and vulnerability meant weakness. 

Besides, once Corey learned about my past, he wouldn't want me anyway. 

How could someone as perfect as him want someone like me? He was so poised, so in control of his emotions, a perfect representation what of my father expected me to be.

Meanwhile, I was a loose cannon, not knowing how to interpret what I was feeling most of the time. I had no direction whatsoever, no sense of control over my emotions, as if my father was still puppeteering the strings of my life from whatever corner of hell that he rotted in. 

It was so unfair to Corey, being stuck with someone like me who couldn't even control the way that I reacted to him, someone who treated him like shit with no explanation.

I deserved to die, but not Corey. He hadn't done anything wrong. 

This was all my fault. 

I forced the lump in my throat down, swallowing hard just as I'd taught myself years ago in order to prevent tears from flooding into my eyes. 

"May I ask you a question?" 

The sudden interjection of Corey's deep voice was a welcome distraction to my racing thoughts, as I was beginning to overthink so much that I felt a mini panic attack underway. Usually, he spoke one word and most of my anxiety would melt off of me like ice under the hot sun, but in this instance, I could still feel guilt crawling disgustingly underneath my skin. 

I was so afraid of what he was going to ask, scared that he would ask me why I was being so damn stubborn and why I couldn't just accept him already, which was a question that I wouldn't be able to give him an answer to. At least not yet. 

Regardless of my fear, I nodded at his question, still shuffling the - now cold - eggs around my plate as not to meet his eyes. He waited a moment for my consent before speaking.

"I have been wondering. Why don't you go by your first name?" He inquired, voice as gentle as ever. I was both relieved and stressed out by his question. Relieved that it wasn't about our current situation - of which I hadn't even begun to figure out a solution to - but also feeling uneasy as I gulped, trying with all of my might to keep my emotions at bay as memories flashed across the forefront of my mind. 

I could feel Corey's eyes on me as he waited patiently for my reply while I attempted to disappear into the fringe of curly hair that fell across my forehead. 

"I... I don't know. It's just how I was raised." I replied after a moment of contemplation, the heavy truth of my words settling over me. I really didn't know why I went by my last name. Of course, I knew that it was one of the many rules that my father enforced, but I never truly understand the logic behind his reasoning. 

"I see. I think that you should use it more often. It is a beautiful name." He replied, my heart clenching happily at his sweet words. I lifted my gaze past the protective barrier of my fringe, partially meeting his eyes as I turned towards him in my seat, words flying from my mouth before I could stop them.

"...You can use my first name if you want." I said quietly, holding my breath as I waited for his reply. I caught the hint of happiness that flashed across his usually expressionless face as he spoke. 

"I would be honored. Thank you."

I nodded in reply, bringing my cup of orange juice to my lips to hide the smile that was threatening to take over my face. I gulped down the sweet beverage, only lowering the glass once I felt that I was able to bring my giddy emotions somewhat under control. 

"Do I get to ask you a question now?" I asked, curiosity tugging at me as I glanced down at the ever-present book that sat face up next to his plate. 

"Go ahead." He rested his chin on a closed fist as he leaned onto his elbow. His muscles flexed as he looked down at me with the same striking intensity his eyes always held. I clutched my fork tighter, the metal digging into my fingers as I resisted the urge to drool over the large muscles of his bicep that threatened to burst out of the sleeves of his t-shirt. 

"Why do you read so much? It seems like you are always glued to some book." I mused, forcing myself to meet his eyes fully. He stared back down at me for a moment, making a humming sound in his throat as he mulled over his answer. His eyes flickered down to the novel that laid in front of him before trailing back up at me.

"Reading is an escape, I suppose." He started, his eyes trained on mine unwaveringly. "A distraction."

"Oh." I muttered, my eyes lowering back down to my forgotten eggs as I thought about what the hell that could mean. A distraction. From what exactly? 

I went right back into overthinking mode as I stared at my plate, even though I wasn't really seeing anything. 

He needed a distraction from me? 

My head snapped up as Corey stood, his chair scraping against the floor. He reached over to grab my plate, nudging his head towards it as if to ask me if I was done eating. I nodded, lifting my elbow to allow him to slip his hand through and grab my plate which was still pretty much full. He set it on top of his empty one, looking down at it for a long moment before heading over to the garbage can to empty it. I watched him open the dishwasher, placing our dishes into the proper receptacle as thoughts continued to violently race across my psyche. 

Corey's expressionless features were simply impossible to read, like some ancient language that nobody knew how to translate anymore. I longed to understand just for one second what was going on in that handsome head of his. Maybe it would help me figure out what the hell to do about this incredibly convoluted, messy situation. 

Corey turned to head back towards me, but his eyes glazed over for a moment as he was contacted VIA the pack link. I perked up, more curiosity nudging at me as I wondered what it could be about. 

Did they find out more about our tether? 

Did they find out how to break it? 

Are we going to die soon? 

Oh Goddess, we are going to fucking die. 

His eyes returned to normal after about 30 seconds, effectively giving me long enough to fall all of the way down the rabbit hole of my anxiety-riddled brain. I clutched the edge of the marble counter tight enough for my knuckles to lose their color as I croaked out stressfully,

"Is there more news?" Corey shook his head at my question, my brow creasing in confusion at his next words, although I simultaneously felt a little bit of relief.

"No. My Dads want to have a dinner with us and my brothers tonight. They said that they have something to tell us." 

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A bit of a filler chapter but at least Corey and Ortiz are attempting to establish some sort of meager communication! Baby steps people, baby steps :')

Please vote and comment if you are ever so inclined! Love you all, and continue onto the next chapter since this is a double upload. You are welcome ♡

xoxo, Alex