COREY

After triple-checking over my shoulder to ensure that no one else was watching, I shoved my hand deep into the back of my bedside drawer. I blindly rooted around in the semi-organized space until my fingertips found the shape of the item I was looking for. Then - quickly - I slid the object into the pocket of my jacket, closed the drawer, and made my way out of Jax and I's room. 

I made quick work of the sweeping staircase in the center of the Pack House before navigating back to the sitting room from which I originally came. When I crossed the threshold, the sight before me was one that I would gaze into for eternity if only I were afforded such a privilege.

There he was. There they were.

"Dude, this stuff is gonna make you so jacked. Make sure to drink a lot; not enough so that you poop all over me again like last time, but just enough so that you get big and strong and that I can teach you how to kick some as-" He paused, eyes widening with recognition at the curse word that he was about to use, "Sorry, not ass, I mean to say butt!" His eyes widened even more to a size that almost resembled a certain, yellow-haired Faerie, "Oh fuck, I still said it!"

I chuckled. "Almost there, gift. You're already doing better than last week." I praised, leaning over to press a kiss to Jax's soft lips before bestowing one on the top of Theon's sleepy forehead as well.

I wished that I could freeze an image in time, to brand the picture of Jax swaying Theon back and forth in the rocking chair as he fed him into my heart until the end of time. It was so idyllically perfect in such an imperfect way, the simple, domestic pleasure of seeing my mate take care of our baby igniting certain desires that I did not even recognize as a component of my being until now.

I mentally pinched Dashiell as he drooled across the front of my skull, reminding him that this was not the time to pump his Omega full of pups. That could wait until approximately twelve o'clock, after our errands were finished.

"Thanks for the encouragement, but I'm pretty sure I'm a lost cause." Jax sighed, shoulders drooping, but he still held Theon as gently as ever. "This potty mouth is here to stay, let's just hope Theon doesn't catch on too quickly." Then, he finally looked up at me, a smile stretching the spattering of freckles that also dotted the skin of his pink lips. "Don't you have shit to do today? Wait, fuck! I did it again!"

I just laughed again, nodding as I shoved my hands into the pockets of my jacket, my left one clenching around the object that I had just placed there.

Lying to Jax was like tearing off a limb and still having to pretend that everything was intact. Luckily my inherent lack of facial expressions made it a little easier to hide my unease regarding the fact that I was about to intentionally mislead my soulmate regarding my plans for the day, but not by much. So, with an incredibly deep breath and a quick talk down from the ledge, I finally responded.

"Yes. Warrior... stuff." I lied all-but-smoothly, palms and soul itching with the need to pull Jax into my arms, inform him of the truth behind my sinful, treacherous deception, and then promptly beg for his forgiveness.

I quietly added that to my to-do list, right underneath 'fuck mate at approximately twelve o'clock.'

Jax just grinned wider, chirping a quick "Okay, have fun! Love you!" Before turning his attention back down to Theon. "Alright, lil' dude. Wanna hear about the time I accidentally set twenty-three live chickens loose inside the pack house? See, it all starts with acquiring the goods. My personal place of choice was our local KFC..."

I shuffled a little in my spot, absolutely not trying to stall at all.

"Are you sure that you will be okay?" I suddenly blurted after a few moments of nervous hovering.

Since my incident, it had been harder than ever to separate myself from him. Leaving Jax alone was like ripping my heart out, giving it legs, and letting it walk around completely unguarded.

In other words, it was hell.

Jax looked back up, pausing his intricate story and raising a curl-obscured brow.

"Corey..." He started, voice soft and knowing, "I'll be fine, and so will Theon. Plus, I've got that lil' worm over there helping me out today." He pointed and I turned, following the invisible line drawn by the gesture. On the other end of it was a male Omega with gigantic, round glasses, a button nose, and cheekbones so high and round that they honestly made him resemble a cartoon character. He waved with a wide smile, introduced himself as 'Evie,' and promptly turned back to the game that he was playing on a handheld device.

"See? We're gonna be fine." Jax assured, tilting his head in a way that made my heart do a quick olympic backflip. "Now, go do your thing so I can get back to teaching Theon how to become a legend."

He was right. It was time to go.

Time to go. Time to go. I repeated the phrase a few more times. Around the fifteenth or so time, my feet finally decided to unstick from the hardwood and head out of the front door.

The air was a little chillier now, the fall breeze shifting the branches of trees whose leaves were beginning their shift from green to yellows and oranges.

This was my favorite time of year, when the browned-out colors of the world reminded me of book pages and it was warm enough for light layers but still cool enough to make you crave a cup of something hot.

And just like the leaves, it was a perfect time for change. For transformation.

My talk with Osias had gone well. After presenting my wish to begin my own pack, to rebuild on the land that my parents once owned, I found that the Alpha also shared similar desires. Apparently, he had long been looking for a way to pay tribute to the wrongs that his father had committed upon my parents' pack.

So the plan was immediately greenlit, the title on the land signed into my name along with a promise from Osias to support us in whatever ways we needed as we established our family name once more.

We would be two packs, but one in heart.

There was only one issue, which was that - as of yet - Jax was not exactly... aware of my plans.

I knew that I needed to tell him, and I certainly planned to. After all, if he said no, then I would not think twice about staying right where we are now. But fear weighed me down as I wished with everything in me that he would want to share this dream with me, that he would stay by my side as both my mate and my Beta.

Fallen leaves crunched underneath my heavy, black boots as I continued my trek. I had long since entered the backwoods, stepping over various logs and ducking under low-hanging branches on the way. I could have easily driven to my destination in a quarter of the time, but for some reason that felt wrong. At least, for this particular occasion.

Regardless, I needed a little time alone to slow my steadily racing heart.

Squeezing the object in my left jacket pocket in a tight fist, I thought of Jax.

It was almost surreal to think about how I was provided with privilege enough to love and be loved by the most beautifully resilient man to ever exist within the boundless confines of this universe. Every morning that I woke up to a faceful of those soft, springy curls, I immediately thanked the God/dess for her generosity with a ferocity enough to drive me to tears.

Jax was it for me.

He had always been and always would be, from the very first moment that my soul made recognition of his transcendentally bewitching yet delicately vulnerable existence.

I would walk through the gates of hell, fight the world until my knuckles bled, and even give up my own life if it meant ensuring his happiness.

The ground beneath my feet gave way to softer soil when a large pond finally revealed itself from behind a thick cover of red and brown foliage. The water was uncharacteristically calm, with barely a ripple to be glimpsed along its clear surface, and I approached its bank with mindful steps.

This pond was one that I often found Jax lingering around during his patrols. It only took a few instances of noticing his behavior for me to finally give in to curiosity and inquire into his preference for this particular body of water.

His answer made my soul ache.

"Mommy used to bring me here." Jax explained, arms wrapped around his own waist in a self-soothing gesture as his lips pulled into a tight line that was initially intended to be a smile. "When things got really bad... We would come here and count the tadpoles." He recalled the memory with an aching fondness, the volume of his voice lowering to a whisper. "... Some of her ashes rest here, too."

I settled down onto a smooth, dry boulder just to the right side of the bank.

I had always prided myself in my uncanny ability to handle difficult situations. After all, I was an Alpha, I was quite literally genetically built to do such a job. But now, sitting here and staring out into the water, I was suddenly face-to-face with the most esoteric, nerve-wracking challenge of my life.

All of the romance novels in the world couldn't have prepared me for this. But there was only one way to get to the other side, and that was through it.

So, I sucked in a deep breath of leafy, fall air, and held it for a few seconds. Then, I released it all in one go... and began.

...But when I opened my mouth to speak, I instead found myself flushed when no words formed upon the nervous apex of my lips.

It should have felt strange, my sudden lack of reconnaissance to words that usually flowed through me like a calm river. But this time, my inability to create meaning from the depths of my neverending well of emotions made complete sense.

My love for Jax was not one that could be accurately described through the trivial confines of any language. It was so much more than that, a force that would continue on far past the time that we both were rendered to ash and returned to the earth.

His radiance was timeless, reflected in so much more than his physical beauty alone. Jax was resilient, he was determined, and he was so delightfully and unapologetically himself in every moment of every day. I admired his outlook on the world, seeking to imprint every little moment that we spent together into the empty gallery spaces of my heart and fill them with his glittering sort of light.

His existence fit together with mine like the most talented pianist's fingers fit to keys. And together, we were a symphony.

The object in my pocket sizzled against my calloused palm in the best way, a reminder of the weight of it all - of the importance of what I was about to do.

I just had to do it.

I could do it.

With a square jaw and a bite back at the nervousness that threatened to shake me down, I finally spoke.

"Hola..." I paused, hesitating as I contemplated the best way to begin this conversation. I ran a hand through my hair, acknowledging the way that my hand trembled in the process. "... Ms. Evita. I- I am your son's mate. It is beyond a pleasure to meet you, ma'am." I finally finished my greeting, using the name that Jax had confided me with only a few months back.

There was no script for this, no speech that I had planned. I needed her to know that my devotion was true, that it came from a place of truth, a truth that rendered my voice to a tremor, the slightest of quakes noticeable in its vulnerable tone.

"My entire life I have waited for my destined, Ms. Evita. And your Jax... It's unexplainable. He just makes me feel so at peace while also somehow setting my soul aflame." I squeezed the object in my palm, drawing strength from the profoundness of its meaning. The water remained calm at my feet, only disturbed by the faintest ripple from the shifting of the wind. I could only pray that she would hear me as I unearthed myself.

"Jaxon is the definition of everything that I could ever desire. He is all that my soul has ever prayed for. I dream of him even when I am awake..." It was then that I broke, suddenly aware of the blur in my vision and the tears that had begun to form a pond of their own along the sharp line of my jaw. I tried wiping them away with the sleeve of my jacket, only to find another fresh wave of wetness assuming their place.

I rubbed at my chest where it tightened, and before I could stop myself, a strangled sob tore its way out of my chest.

"I... I..." I forced out through the sudden flash flood of tears, taking in jagged breaths in an effort to soothe my suddenly spasming lungs. "I love him forever. I love him madly. I have waited lifetimes for him, Ms. Evita..."

The object finally became too scorching to bare within the downy confines of my jacket pocket, so I pulled it out, running my fingers gently across its smooth exterior. I didn't dare look yet, though. Not until I had finished my vow.

"I promise to show him how much he means to me every day, ma'am. I promise to uplift him always. I promise to ease his burdens, to shower him with all of the endless, unbounded adoration that he deserves." I sealed my worlds with the most powerful vow - the kind that one made to oneself. It was only then that my thumb flicked up and I finally glanced down at the uncovered object that I clenched in my palm so tightly that my knuckles were rendered a pale white.

The ring was perfect; the golden band adorned with an emerald gemstone so bright and enrapturing that it almost held a light to my beloved's own irises. It rested within a glass box, one that was custom fitted to the jewelry inside.

My hand shook violently but I still held it tight, determined not to let my sweaty palms fumble such a precious item.

My breath caught somewhere on the way down to my lungs, and I could only hope that Jax's mother was there with me, and that she approved.

"So, Ms. Evita... I pray that I will be granted the honor of receiving your blessing," I stalled, running the back of my palm across my eyes once more to wipe at the neverending waterfall of tears that had taken up a seemingly permanent tenure there, "Just as I pray that I will be bestowed with the honor of calling your son, my husband."

__

Want more and can't wait? 👀 Become a Patron! You could get up to 2 chapters ahead, exclusive character art & one-shots and more! The one-shot for this month is 'Jax Sucks D*** For The First Time" 🤣

Link in my bio!

Also, follow me on Instagram (@CoolingsunAlex) for story memes, fanart, and Patreon sneak peeks!

Xoxo, Alex ❤️