Ortiz

It was torturous.

That was the only word that could even begin to describe the car ride back to the Pack House. After my brief but informative talk with Tyrus, Corey slipped into the backseat of his brother's car without so much as a word.

I still felt choked by the emotional pain that threatened to send me even further along my toxic spiral of overthinking, and I soon felt humiliation cloud my mind as I thought about what I had done.

I had absolutely ruined the Cahill's dinner. At a time that was supposed to be full of congratulations and happiness as they welcomed a new member of their family, I just had to lose control of myself and make everything about me and my stupid fucking emotions. Again.

What was really a short, 10-ish minute drive back from the restaurant felt like eons, and I couldn't bring myself to do anything other than stare blankly down at my shaky hands that sat in my lap, my mind violently racing as I tried my hardest to ignore Corey's proximity. 

The relief I felt was overwhelming when we finally pulled up in front of the Pack House. Mumbling a quick 'thanks' to Tyrus, I wasted absolutely no time in scurrying out of the stuffy car, making a beeline for my room on the far side of the House. 

A few pack members waved at me with bright smiles on the way, but I kept my eyes trained on the floor, fists clenched as I tried to keep myself from having a full-on break down in front of everyone. I didn't have see Corey to feel his presence, his hulking form was omnipresent as he was forced to follow close behind me. I still didn't - couldn't - turn around towards him even when I finally entered my room, facing my bed as I tried to stall what I knew was inevitable. 

We were going to have to talk. 

The hairs on the back of my neck stood up and Luka's hackles rose with anticipation as the door gently clicked shut, signaling that Corey and I were now alone.

I felt like an absolute coward as I stood there, staring at the wall while another one of those horrible, uncomfortably silences settled between us. I could sense that we were both waiting for the other to talk first, but we both probably had no clue how to start such an important conversation. There was another long moment of unbearable silence until a voice finally broke through the tense air. 

"Do you really think that I do not have emotions?" 

Corey's voice was as deep as ever, and I flinched at the rich, demanding sound of it. Although, it also held a distinct softness, as if he was making a conscious effort to make the intimidating sound seem gentle. I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath as I tried to summon the courage to turn around. 

"You don't even have expressions, Corey. How the hell am I supposed to know if you are feeling anything?" I spoke with my back still facing him, my fingers twitching as I tried to convince myself to just fucking turn around already.

There was another long, agonizing silence that fell between Corey and I before his voice broke it yet again. 

"Do you know what it feels like to have to tip toe around someone that makes your heart palpitate every time they so much as breathe in your direction?" He spoke somewhat slowly, an uncharacteristic tremor in his voice becoming more evident the longer he went on. 

"...How it feels to watch your destined mate push you away more and more every day for reasons you don't understand? Or what it's like to have to read fucking Shakespeare to remember what it feels like to be loved by someone?" His shaky breath was audible as he went to finish his thought. "...Because I do."

I shook my head, my eyes clenched tightly shut as I tried to just will all of this to go away. My heart was stuttering, pounding at a ridiculous pace in my chest at his words, and all of my brain cells were working overtime as I tried to comprehend them. This was all so confusing and I honestly didn't know what the hell to do. 

I thought he didn't want me? I thought he wanted to get away from me? I thought he wanted me to reject him? 

"You don't even want me, Corey. You want me to... to reject you, you said it yourself." I breathed out through tight vocal cords, repeating the words he said earlier at the restaurant. 

Saying it out loud hurt more than I anticipated, and I winced when Luka howled in protest. My wolf longed to connect with our mate once again, and I could feel him clawing at the walls of our mind in an attempt to persuade me to go to him. I pushed him back quickly, scared that he would sabotage my body and I'd suddenly end up wrapped tightly in Corey's strong arms before we could even resolve anything. 

"You think that I want you to reject me?" Corey's voice was rough as he replied, as if he couldn't believe what I said.

My entire body trembled as I heard his footsteps move closer to me, but for some reason I still couldn't bring myself to look at him. My mind was already practically mush as I knew he was standing so close behind me, the feeling of his body heat against my back making my brain work even harder to form comprehensible words. I knew that if I turned and saw his face that I would lose whatever little control I still had over my body.

"Listen. I have never been good at expressing myself, and I apologize for that." My thoughts were cut off by Corey as he spoke, his deep voice just above a whisper. "But I am going to try my best. For you." 

I heard him suck in a deep breath before continuing. 

"I have wanted you from the very moment that I laid eyes on you."

My heart threatened to pound straight out of my chest and I squeezed my eyes tightly shut again, trying my best to block out his sweet words, or to come up with some kind of explanation as to why he would lie like this.

I wasn't special.

I was difficult, annoying, and sometimes downright cruel to him.

He couldn't want me. He just couldn't. 

"...You are the first thing that I think of when I wake and the last thing that I think of before I sleep at night. I have waited my entire life to find you, Jax. Don't you realize that?" 

Bum, bum, bum.

I finally whirled around at the sound of my real name, my heart pounding, breathing rapid and eyes wide as I stumbled backwards, away from Corey's large form. I let out a small, uncharacteristic yelp when the back of my thighs hit my bed, toppling down onto the duvet with pure shock written across my features as I blinked, trying to make sure that what I was seeing was actually real.  

Corey stood tall, his stature reading every bit of the dominant warrior of Alpha blood that he was. However his large body also shook, his fists clenched together tightly at his sides.

And for the first time, I saw him exhibit an expression.

His eyes were downcast, lips turned down into a sad frown and face slightly flushed as he stood in place with tears - yeah, you heard me right - tears flowing steadily down his cheeks. 

His slightly nervous body language read that he was uncomfortable with showing even this one, little bit of emotion, as I'm sure it was only on very rare occasions the he ever did. I opened and closed my mouth slowly, my brain working in slow motion as I tried to figure out what to say. 

"Then... why did you say that I was going to r-reject you?" I finally asked, my voice but a whisper while our eyes locked with one another. My knuckles were white with how tightly I clutched at my duvet, ignoring my father's voice in my head as I tried to find a little bit of comfort in the soft fabric.

I was so confused, so shocked, so scared. 

Corey's watery eyes flashed brightly for a brief moment, telling me that his wolf was present as he spoke.

"You flinch whenever I touch you, and run from me every chance you get. I do not know what more I can do when you have made it very clear that you do not want this. That you do not want me." He closed his eyes for a moment as if he was trying to force back memories, more tears rolling down his face as he did so. 

"...so, if it takes us not being together for you to be happy, then I am okay with it." This time, his voice no longer wavered, as if he had practiced saying those words to himself a million times, and his eyes finally opened once again after he finished speaking.

"W-why?..." I croaked out, my vocal cords barely working at this point as I still tried my best to understand. Why would he be so willing to go through the excruciating pain of rejection just because of my selfish inability to accept my fated mate? 

"Your happiness means more to me than anything." Corey's lips curled up into a small smile, eyes soft as he gazed at me through his silent tears as if I was the most precious thing in the world.

"...And because no matter how many times you push me away, it doesn't change the fact that I am in love with you, Jax." 

I immediately felt tears well up impossibly high inside of me and I swallowed so hard, trying to force them back down. But for the first time in years I found that it was was simply impossible.

I choked, my hand flying to my throat at the unfamiliar feeling before my vision went blurry and fat, salty tears began to fall from my eyes like waterfalls. They fell endlessly, like some kind of dam broke inside me and my chest burned, feeling tight and achy from the intensity of all of this. 

I shook my head, my head hanging low as I covered my face with my hands, my palms and fingers quickly becoming drenched by the copious amount of fluid that poured from my eyes.

If you are vulnerable, you are nothing. 

My father's voice boomed in the back of my mind, and I couldn't help but feel so ashamed that I couldn't keep myself from breaking down like a little bitch. 

I couldn't remember the last time I cried. I thought that I had perfected the art of forcing my tears into submission over the years beatings I'd received from my father because of it, but the man who stood before me seemed to always find new ways to unravel all of my progress. 

Corey crying - although shocking - made sense, seeing as to how he was losing his mate and had to deal with the inevitable pain of my rejection. 

I, on the other hand, didn't deserve to cry. 

It was such a selfish action. Hell, in that moment I didn't even feel like I deserved to look at that man. 

"I'm so sorry, Corey." I whispered brokenly, my shoulders and hands shaking as I lifted my head from them to look up at him once again. He stood in the same spot as before, looking at me with the same faint, watery smile.

"Everything will be okay, I promise. I will be just fine. Just go ahead and do it." His deep voice boomed in the medium-sized room as he spoke, his words strong and determined, and I slid off of the bed and onto the floor in raw shock a moment later, my mouth hanging open like my jaw had lost its hinge at the sight before me.

Corey had knelt down onto his knees on the floor, his eyes never leaving mine as he did so. Then, the warrior tilted his neck to the side, his hands placed on top of his strong thighs as he bared the most vulnerable part of his body to me. 

He was submitting.

The head warrior, this 6+ foot man who could easily tear me in half, this wolf of Alpha blood, was submitting himself to me, showing me in a way that both my wolf and I could perfectly understand that he was at our mercy, that he would willingly accept my rejection without protest. 

"No..." 

I caught myself off guard as the words quietly flew from my lips before I could stop them, and a familiar voice inside forced its way to the forefront of my mind as I tried to force my thoughts into a straight line.

Isn't this what you wanted from the beginning? 

You wanted to reject him. 

You wanted this. 

You. Wanted. This.

"NO!" I screamed the word this time, my eyes wide and frantic as something finally clicked and I instantly made up my mind. 

I forced myself forward, tears tumbling down my face as I desperately pushed back my father's voice, trying to free my mind from his seemingly endless, torturous taunting. I scrambled on my hands and knees, each movement strained as I struggled to cross the distance between Corey and I. 

I was stupid as hell sometimes, but not stupid enough to throw away the one person who actually cared about me.  

So, no.

I wouldn't let him mess this up for me this time. 

This time, I will make my own decision. 

Before I knew it, Corey's face was grasped tenderly in my trembling hands, our lips pressed together and moving in a desperate dance. Our tears mixed between our lips, and I could taste their saltiness as they continued to slide down my cheeks. 

I felt Corey stiffen initially, shocked by my sudden act of affection when he had been expecting nothing more than a cold rejection. However, as he realized just what was going on, his lips slowly began to move in tandem against mine, his thickly muscled arms moving hesitantly to wrap around my waist. 

I didn't pull away this time. Instead, my fingertips pressed into his skin, holding on tight as if he could slip away from me at any moment. 

We kneeled there together on the floor, lips melded and tongues tangling together until we ran out of breath and reluctantly had to break apart. When we did, our foreheads pressed together and small smiles broke out on both of our faces as we looked into each other's eyes, acknowledging one another in a silent surrender. 

And for the first time in my life, I felt wanted. 

It was strange but also heart-warming to see Corey with an expression - especially one of happiness - painted across his usually emotionless features. This man had done nothing more than look out for me, take care of me, and try his best to show that he cared for me in his own (albeit outwardly emotionless) way. My heart pounded hard against in chest, and I just knew he could hear its rapid pace as it crashed nervously against my ribcage, hoping that I made the right decision. 

"You tried so hard for me. So I will try for you too." I told him, my voice a hushed whisper as I spoke in the small space between our wet lips. 

"...I'm an asshole though, so I won't be perfect. So just bare with me... please?" I grinned crookedly, letting out a watery laugh as my personality pushed through. I wasn't one for all of those complicated, romantic phrases like Corey was so easily able to conjure up, but I hoped that he would be able to sense the sincerity of my words despite their crass delivery.

He simply nodded in response, arms tightening around my waist as he leaned forward, filling the space between our lips once again. My hands finally released his face to slide behind his neck, clutching him there as I tilted my head, leaning into the soft kiss. Corey's large hands slid slowly along my back, fingertips just barely sliding underneath my shirt to rest on my bare skin. My entire body tingled as the kiss deepened, our arms tightening around one another until there was practically no space left between our bodies. 

I stiffened a little when Corey's hand slid further up my shirt, and he quickly went to retreat back down when he noticed my discomfort. Before he could however, I snapped my hand back to grab his wrist in my shaky fingers.

"It's... it's okay." I breathed out against his lips, taking a deep breath as I tried my best to steel my resolve. 

I wasn't going to let my past ruin this right now. Not when I was finally beginning to learn to make my own decisions outside of my father's influence. So, with all my might, I pushed my father's omnipresent voice into a small, dark corner of my mind and locked it up tight, at least for the time being. 

"Are you sure?" Corey's voice was rough and deep again, and I bit back a moan at the sound. I nodded in response, and his calloused hand promptly slid up to middle of my back again, pressing me forward gently for our lips to connect once again. 

This time the kiss was more frantic than sweet, as if we were having our first drink of water after being in a desert for years. I was practically in his lap, straddling his legs as I sat up on my knees, my face slightly above his and his chin tilted up to meet my frantic lips. Our kiss lasted about a minute, and I was so lost in the sensation of the man beneath me that I almost didn't notice when Corey growled, his eyes flashing a bright silver as I was suddenly lifted in his arms, before he settled me against the wooden floor.

He hovered above me, my legs open and resting on either side of his waist. However, in his typical, respectful fashion, he pulled back for a moment, looking down at me as if to ask my consent before he moved any further. Gulping down my fears and forging forward with my conviction, I gave him my permission.

"I want to, Corey." 

Another, even deeper growl vibrated its way through his body as he began to pepper hot kisses along my jaw and down my neck, lowering himself down onto his thick forearms as he did so. He was like a beast set loose as he continued his pursuit along my skin, his lips leaving a burning trail as he traveled down my body. 

I couldn't stop the groan of pleasure that escaped me when his tongue swirled around my nipple through my shirt, my back arching deeply into his touch. He tweaked the small nub with his fingers, continuing his pleasurable assault along my body until he reached the hem of my jeans. 

There he paused for a second, lips paying special attention to the skin just below my navel as his hands worked lower. His large but surprisingly nimble fingers had them sliding down my legs in record time, my hard dick snapping back up against my stomach the moment they were pooled around my ankles.

"Oh, fuck..." My head tilted back against the floor, my lips opening into an 'O' shape and knees drawing up in white hot pleasure as Corey suddenly took me into his mouth, his tongue expertly swirling around my leaking tip. I moaned so loud then, unable to keep in my sounds of pleasure any longer as he bobbed his head, my fingers intertwining into his thick, black hair as I held on for dear life. 

Just as I felt something in stomach begin to tug, Corey pulled away from me with a quiet 'pop.' I went to complain, but my selfish words were caught in my throat as he slid two fingers into his mouth, wetting them with his saliva before promptly sliding the slick digits against my entrance. 

I bit my lip hard at the sudden change, squeezing my eyes shut and tasting my own metallic blood as I felt one finger push past my ring of muscle. I wanted him so bad, but my muscle memory kicked in at the invasive touch as I tried to ignore my father's rule about submitting. Probably sensing my twinge of pain through the link, Corey's eyes snapped up to my face and his fingers froze.

"Jax... Please do not hurt yourself." He whispered, the thumb on his free hand coming up to gently coax my bleeding lip away from the canine that punctured it. "It's okay, I've got you." 

Not a moment later his tongue was on the abused flesh as he leaned over me, brushing over the spot to clean away the blood and heal the wound with his slightly faster healing Alpha enzyme. I shivered, feeling tears prick at my eyes from the intimate, caring gesture.

Not once had anyone actually cared about my pain.

Corey stayed above me, his finger slowly sinking deeper inside of me as our lips connected again. I resisted the urge to whimper as the thick digit began to slide in and out of me, stretching my sensitive walls around his knuckles. Soon another finger was added, then another, and I soon felt my hips pressing back against his fingers rapidly as he fucked me with them, his wrist flicking them in and out at a breakneck speed while I beckoned him deeper into my body. 

"Ngh, Corey..." I groaned out, my dull fingernails digging into his broad shoulders as I held onto him. His eyes were intense as he gazed down at me, monitoring my face as if he was savoring every flicker of pleasure that passed over my features. The intensity of his stare heated me up all over again, and I bucked against his hand harder, eager for more. 

"More..." I moaned out, barely able to say that one word as my eyelids fluttered, heavy with the intensity of the sensations that plagued me. 

In response, Corey's fingers pumped a few more times before sliding out from inside of me. He made quick work of his pants and boxer-briefs, kicking them away and freeing the beast that lay between his powerful thighs. My breath caught in my throat at the sight of him as he sat back on his heels momentarily to pull his shirt over his head. 

His tight, rippling muscles flexed with each of his movements, and I swallowed as my mouth watered at the sight, quickly using the back of my hand to wipe away a dribble of saliva that managed to escape the corner of my mouth.

I guess I finally had to admit it to myself.

I was Coreysexual.

Not gay, not bisexual, just Coreysexual. 

Never in a million years did I think that I would be drooling over a fucking man.

Nevertheless, there we were, my legs wide open and accepting him between my thighs as he settled back down on top of me. It was like our lips were magnetic as we smashed them back together, his larger body undulating deliciously atop mine. His ridiculously large length pressed against mine, and I hissed at the friction that was created when he pumped his hips, our cocks sliding against one another easily with the help of the copious amount of pre-cum that we were both steadily leaking. 

Soon, the tip of his throbbing head was pressed against my entrance, and he teased the tight ring of muscles as he pushed his hips forward the tiniest bit. I held into him for dear life once again, my arms around his neck as I groaned, willing him to fill me. 

Before that happened however, I was assaulted with even more sensations as Corey's tongue returned to my nipple, gently scraping his teeth across the raised, pink bud from above my shirt. It was torturous, the fact that the annoying fabric was in the way of him touching my skin. 

As if he could read my mind, my shirt was suddenly shredded and I quite literally screamed like a damn girl when he simultaneously bit down on my nipple while also sinking his cock deep inside of me with one swift, piercing movement of his hips. 

I panted, raking my nails down his back in a way that was sure to leave marks as I adjusted to the intense fullness that I hadn't experienced in so long. Somehow, it felt even better than I remembered, maybe because this time I wasn't simultaneously trying to justify my homosexual actions every other second. 

Corey sucked in heavy breaths from his spot above me, back and arm muscles flexed as he very obviously tried to keep himself from moving. He distracted himself by tonguing at my fading mark, licking and nipping at the all too sensitive spot. His actions almost sent me over the edge as I dug my heels into his ass, trying to urge him to just fucking do something already, but he just chuckled against my neck as he sensed my desperation. 

"Move..." I whined in a ridiculously embarrassing manner, but at that moment I didn't really care what the fuck I sounded like, as long as it ended with Corey fucking the shit out of me.

My wish was granted not much later as he began to rock against me, pulling out almost all of the way to his tip before sliding back in one slow, torturous movement. He moaned against my skin, a warm hand going down to grab my hips tightly, keeping them still as I bucked against him, trying to gain more friction between us. 

"Wait, love. It's..." He trailed off, his face still tucked into my neck as his chest rose and fell steadily, his deep voice making every cell of my body vibrate with its bass. "It's hard..." 

At first I didn't understand what he meant and I continued to try to fight against his firm hold, but a moment later the meaning of his words suddenly clicked and I couldn't help the loud laugh that bubbled its way up my throat.

"Are you seriously already about to cum?!" I exclaimed through my chuckles, laughing even harder when he grumbled. I could feel his skin heating up even more against mine due to his slight embarrassment.

"It has been a long time." He mumbled quietly, his lips brushing against my perspiring skin as he spoke. He was still trying to catch his breath as he laid still above me, his grip on my hip tightening even more. 

"Dude, have you even jacked off once this entire time?" I was a laughing mess at that point, pressing the back of my hand over my mouth in an attempt to stifle them. I knew it was probably embarrassing for him, but I couldn't help myself. It was just so damn funny, this man who was always so perfectly in control of himself not even being able to last 15 seconds in bed. 

"No." Was his curt reply, and my laughs quickly changed to gut-busting guffaws.

"Holy shit, sorry bro, this is just too damn hilari- NGH!" 

My teasing banter was quickly cut short as Corey suddenly snapped his hips forward, spearing me on his thick length so quick and hard I swear felt that shit in my throat. 

"Quiet." He grumbled against my ear, biting the soft flesh as he began to move.

"Oh fuck, oh shit, fuck!" My entire body jolted against the hardwood floors as he slid in and out of my fluttering hole like a machine, his heavy balls slamming against my ass with each powerful thrust. It was like he was pure animal as he practically bred me, his speed not slowing down even the slightest bit even as my eyes rolled back and I choked on a moan, clenching around his thick length as I felt him hit that spot.

"Right there, fuck! Right there!" I slurred out as if I was drunk, clinging to the last few brain cells that Corey had yet to fuck out of me in a desperate attempt to hold onto my ability to speak.

"Goddess, you feel so fucking good, Jax." Corey husked breathlessly, the sound of his deep voice as well as his praise making me clench tightly around his length. He pulled away from my neck to look down between both of our bodies, releasing a hiss of pleasure as my walls constricted him even further. The lewd sight of his dick sliding in and out of my wet hole made him groan out loud, connecting our lips a moment later as he lifted one leg, bracing himself on his foot for more leverage and using his strong hands to tilt my hips up at an angle. 

This position allowed him to slide even deeper inside of me, which at that point I didn't even realize was fucking possible. My eyes widened as his tip pressed against my prostate even harder, mercilessly striking the sensitive gland over and over as I quite literally writhed underneath my beast of a man. 

As if to throw me over the edge, one of Corey's hands released my hips to grip my weeping cock that lay between our sweaty bodies, tugging at the hard appendage in sync with his thrusts. 

"Holy shit, Corey! Ngh... Goddess, I'm gonna cum, you're gonna make me fucking cum!" I screamed out, my eyes rolling back as I felt a familiar tug in my lower stomach, signaling that my release was so, so close. Corey's stamina was almost ungodly as he continued snapping his hips forward, burying his dick inside of me to the hilt before pulling out and repeating the brutal action over and over. 

He leaned back down onto his forearms after a moment, his thrusts not slowing even the slightest bit as he lovingly brushed my sweaty curls away from my damp forehead. Our eyes locked and lips brushed against each other as we held one another in a passionate embrace on the floor, the breaths of our moans mixing as both of us closed in on our peaks. 

"I love you so much, Jax." Corey muttered against my lips, beads of sweat trickling down the side of his face as his muscles flexed with each one of his thrusts, and at that moment I came completely undone. 

My mouth opened in a silent scream as I came harder than I ever have in my life, my body shaking and heartbeat stuttering. I was quite literally seeing stars, my vision going dark around the edges as I tried to hold onto consciousness. My hips bucked, legs shaking helplessly as my mind became cloudy with the overwhelming amount of pleasure I was experiencing from this mind-blowing orgasm.

Corey only added fuel to the fire as he growled possessively above me, pounding his huge dick into me in a more jagged rhythm. Before I could begin to gather my sanity, he suddenly bit down, marking me as his while he released hot spurts of his cum deep inside of my body, searing my walls with his essence.

His canines slipped out of my neck very slowly as not to hurt me, and he instantly began lapping at the spot to seal his mark. My eyes were half-hooded as I let him heal me, my hands gripping his large triceps as I struggled to take his steadily growing knot inside of me.

"I'm sorry, love. Just breathe." Corey's eyes met mine again as he stilled his movements above me, frowning with concern as he noticed the pain in my eyes. 

"It's... fine." I said through clenched teeth, trying to diffuse his worry although I was inwardly wincing at the stretching feeling. "...But I swear to the Goddess, next time, I'm putting it in your ass."

Corey raised an eyebrow at me, his fingertips gently sliding through my soft curls as he continued to monitor my expression. 

"If... you truly wish to top me, then I suppose... we could try it...?" Corey sounded very unsure of himself as he spoke and I chuckled a bit at his response, my lips pulling up into my signature crooked, shit-eating grin. 

I knew that I wouldn't make him do it, as there was no chance in hell that this man was built for bottoming. He undoubtedly had a superior dominant wolf even compared other dominants, and also - as much as I hated to admit it - I actually really enjoyed bottoming for him. 

I mean, who could really blame me? The man was quite literally a fucking wizard with a magical penis for a wand. But regardless, my heart fluttered at the mere fact that he was even willing to try it in an effort make me, of all people, comfortable. 

I knew there was so much more we had to talk about after this, the looming death threat of this tether between us as well as the truth about my past being top priority. However, in that moment I savored the small bubble of happiness that we'd created as we laid there together on the floor, sated and covered in the aftermath of our lovemaking.

"Oh shut up, you fuckin' dork." I couldn't help myself from grinning despite my teasing as I reached up and locked my arms around my mate's neck, pulling him back down for yet another kiss. 

__

Whew, this chapter was a long one, almost 6000 words! 

There's still a lot more that these two have to face, because although Ortiz is starting to understand and address his trauma, he still has quite a ways to go. But Corey is going to help him in his own... unconventional way that you will soon see in the coming chapter ;)

Please let me know what you thought of this chapter and vote as well if you can! Love you all! ♡

xoxo, Alex