The song above is literally Ortiz's feelings in a nutshell! It's also just a beautiful song, go ahead and listen :)

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Ortiz

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T HAVE OUR RESERVATION?!" 

I winced at the harsh tone of the small man who was currently looking up at the host of the restaurant with murder in his eyes. Danny's much larger husband looked at the host with an apologetic expression, his arms wrapped firmly around the smaller man's waist from behind as to prevent his mate from pummeling the host with the black neck pillow that he clutched tightly in his hand. 

"Calm down, bunny. I'll handle this. Please just go and sit down, I don't want you to exert yourself... Especially not right now." Rayson told his mate gently, whispering the last part under his breath. Danny pouted for a moment at his mate's words before nodding, giving the host one last glare before heading over towards us. The small man plopped down on the bench next to a smiling Berlin, who was holding his two tiny sons closely against his chest in a frontward facing sling. 

The little rascals had just learned how to shift to human judging by the screams and cries that had begun to emanate throughout the pack house in the past few days. Osias looked thoroughly exhausted, his head bobbing as he struggled to remain awake and upright in his stance against the wall. I could imagine that all of the insanity going on right now was stressing him the hell out, not to mention having a postpartum mate and newborn twins to take care of on top of Alpha duties. The man was probably getting zero sleep these days. 

Danny cooed lovingly at his grandsons, all anger forgotten as he asked them who their favorite granddad was before slowly saying his name, as if the newborns were supposed to repeat after him. 

Simultaneously, In the corner of my eye, I saw Rayson slip the shaken host a 50 dollar bill, probably just begging the man to let us into the restaurant before his mate raised hell. 

I laughed the tiniest bit at that internally. Berlin's crazy family was a welcome distraction to the insanity of my life at the moment. Luckily, but my withdrawal symptoms were almost completely gone at that point due to my increased Beta healing, but there were other, more stressful matters at hand.

"Daddy, you know they can't talk yet." Berlin giggled out, rubbing a knuckle against Hale's tiny, chubby cheek, the baby yawning sleepily and eyes fluttering in response to his Dad's soft touch.

"Yeah, well I'm priming them, so that they will know exactly who is their favorite when they do start talking." Danny replied before going back to his task of teaching his name to the babies who were steadily falling asleep peacefully against their Dad's sweater-clad chest. A moment later, Rayson walked over to us with a smile. 

"They've got our table ready. We can go in." He said, grinning over at his mate who bolted up from his spot on the bench, leading the way for everyone to follow him into the crowded restaurant as he chattered about how excited he was to finally eat something. 

Berlin tapped Osias's sleeping form, who quickly became alert and followed behind his mate as he tried to rub the sleep from his eyes with a thumb and forefinger. Tyrus followed closely behind, staring into space and probably thinking about his little fae. Meanwhile, Rayson hung near the back of the group with Corey and I, sighing and turning towards us while scratching the back of his neck nervously once his mate was out of earshot. 

"Don't tell Danny this, but I actually forgot to make the reservations. Luckily, that guy was bribable." 

Normally (AKA if I wasn't preoccupied with with thinking about my rapidly approaching death), I would have laughed heartily at the statement and given some witty response, but all I could bring myself to do was grin halfheartedly in his direction as we walked into the dining area of the restaurant. 

I scooted my chair in as everyone began to settle around the table, trying my hardest to ignore how close Corey's arm was to brushing against mine since we all had to squeeze tightly together to fit. 

"We'll have the seven person family combo, please!" Danny ordered, smiling sweetly at the waiter this time as he sat his black neck pillow down on top of the table. It was crazy how the man seemed to be attached at the hip with the item, as it was ever-present wherever he went.

"Thanks for coming you guys." Rayson said, looking around the table as he reached over to place a thick arm around his mate, pulling the smaller man into his side and pressing a soft kiss to his temple. Danny leaned into his touch, his smile mirroring his mate's as he looked around the table.

"Of course!" Berlin exclaimed, one hand rubbing one of his pup's back as the baby slept. "I wouldn't miss this announcement for the world." 

Danny and Rayson's eyes turned curious as they looked over at their smallest son, searching for the meaning in his words.

"What do you mean? Miss what announcement?" Danny laughed nervously, pulling at the sleeves of the oversized sweater that he was wearing. Berlin looked back at his father quizzically, pursing his lips, his defined cupids bow poking out at the top.

"Erm... Your... pregnancy announcement?" Berlin spoke softly, as if he was unsure of what he was supposed to say. 

I jumped a little in my seat at a loud banging noise, looking over only to be met with the sight of Danny, face-down on the table as he groaned loudly.

"Raysonnnnnn, I told you they would find out!" He groaned out, his head buried deeply in the black neck pillow as he sobbed hysterically into the fabric. 

Rayson didn't look phased in the least as he sighed, gently rubbing his mate's back in a comforting gesture. Berlin's eyes were wide with regret as he looked over at his weeping father, his fingers pressed against his mouth as he realized he'd apparently told their big secret. 

"I- I'm so sorry!" Berlin squeaked out, reaching over hesitantly in an effort to also comfort his wailing father. Rayson gave his son a sympathetic look but remained calm, mouthing 'he'll be fine.' 

As if Rayson had read his mate's mind, the small man slowly lifted his head from the table, a sniffling mess as we waved away the hands that reached for him.

"It's okay, Bubba. I just thought I was doing such a good job of hiding it!" Danny wiped at his eyes, clutching his neck pillow to his chest with one arm as his other hand hand slid underneath his sweater to gingerly rest against his stomach. My eyes widened as his sweater slid up slightly, revealing the baby bump that I hadn't noticed at all underneath the huge article of clothing. "What gave me away?" 

Berlin breathed a sigh of relief as he realized his dad was just being his typical, dramatic self before he spoke. 

"Well... I don't exactly know. But you didn't even touch a drop of alcohol at the mixers or on the trip. Oh, and remember when you cried for an hour when you were watching Hale because of 'the way he sneezed'?" Rayson covered his mouth, stifling a laugh at Berlin's words as Danny reached up to smack his mate with his neck pillow.

"I guess you have a point." Danny sighed as he finished his playful assault on his mate. "Well, I guess the secret is out. You are all going to have another brother!" He exclaimed, smiling brightly even though there were still a few straggling tears streaming down his face. Pregnancy mood swings must really be insane. I had never seen someone vacillate between such extreme emotions so quickly. 

"Congratulations, Dads." Corey's deep voice vibrated through the air, sending involuntary shivers down my spine. Osias and Berlin also gave their congratulations a second later. 

Meanwhile, Tyrus, who practically face-deep in the bread basket, sent a simple nod towards his parents before going back to buttering yet another slice. He promptly turned to Osias after he finished buttering to ask whether he knew when the food was going to get to our table. 

"You guys promise you aren't mad at me?" Danny replied, looking at all of his children with a quizzical expression, seemingly on the verge of tears again. "Oh Goddess, our grandkids are going to be even older than our baby..." 

"It's okay, Dad! I promise." Berlin comforted, "This is far from the craziest thing that has happened to our family." His words seemed to comfort Danny, who smiled in his direction. 

"You're right. I swear, whoever is planning out our lives must be clinically insane. This family is filled with craziness. I mean, look at us. What are the odds that every single one of us turned out to be gay?!" He giggled out, rubbing his stomach gently and leaning up to kiss his husband's jaw. We all paused as two waiters approached our table, Danny's silly words effectively diffusing the tense atmosphere as steaming plates of Italian style pasta were placed in front of us. 

Tyrus didn't hesitate to begin as soon as his plate was set in front of him, tossing aside the bread to practically inhale the noodles and meatballs. My stomach churned uncomfortably at the thought of eating, afraid that I would simply throw the food right back up due to the amount of anxiety that still gripped me. I could feel Corey's eyes on me when I didn't reach for my fork, so for his sake I opened the wrapped silverware and moved the pasta around the plate, similar to how I did with the eggs earlier this morning. 

"...Speaking of crazy, how are you two?" I stilled as I looked up, meeting Danny's soft eyes as he placed a forkful of pasta into his mouth. I cleared my throat and I gripped my fork tightly at his question, a keen sense of deja-vu washing over me.

"We are fine." I clipped, unable to find the will within me to elaborate on our situation. I saw Osias's eyes train on me in a knowing manner before he turned back to his pasta. 

"Are you sure? I heard that one fae... Was his name Daisy?... No..." 

Danny trailed off, trying to remember the fae's name until Tyrus looked up from his pasta, miraculously pausing his eating to mutter "Daffodil" before continuing to shovel forkfuls of the stuff into his face. 

"...Oh right, Daffodil! I heard that he had some information about you two's situation. If you don't mind me asking, what was it?" Danny blinked obliviously, smiling at Corey and I. 

My breath was caught in my throat, making it impossible for me to speak. No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't get the words out. I was relieved when I didn't have to, since Corey piped up beside me, responding to his father.

"He said that there was another couple with our same situation." He began. My grip tightened on my fork as he continued, closing my eyes tightly as I anticipated his next words. "And that when they did not make a decision regarding their mating, they eventually... passed away." 

A melancholy silence settled over everyone as the words left Corey's mouth, the gravity of the situation settling on the shoulders of everyone at the table. I didn't know how to react, or what to say that could possibly diffuse the tension, so I opted to just say nothing. 

"Well, dying isn't all that bad! Berlin and Osias did it once and still came back, right?" Rayson laughed nervously, obviously also not knowing how to react but simply wanting to say something to dispel the awkward silence. 

"Right! They've got the Goddess on their side! So even if... if it does happen, maybe you can ask to come back as something super cool like... like... a black butterfly!" Danny nodded hopefully, forcing a smile as he looked back and forth between the both of us. I went to respond, but Corey beat me to it, his voice a softer tone than I have ever heard him use before. 

"Everything will be okay, Dad. We are not going to die." He looked at his dad reassuringly, although his face held no emotion, as usual.

"Ortiz is going to reject me." 

I stood from the table abruptly, my fork clattering loudly against my plate and my napkin clenched in a tight fist as a flurry of emotion flared throughout my body at Corey's words. The entire table was staring at me as I stood there, breathing deeply and forcing yet another lump in my throat down.

"I..." 

My voice cracked as I tried desperately to force something, anything to come out. I felt the loose cannon of my emotions come to life, a strong blast of anger flaring up in me as I turned towards Corey.

"Do you... Do you even feel anything?!" I screamed out, releasing all of my anger in one fell swoop. "You're like some kind of black hole and ninety-nine percent of the time I don't even know if you like me! How do you expect me to make a decision like this when you don't even have fucking emotions?!"

My chest heaved as I stared down at Corey. I was so, unbelievably angry in that moment that I didn't even notice when a glint of recognition that flashed through his eyes, or the fact that the entire restaurant was now staring at me wide-eyed and confused. I simply threw my napkin down on the table, turned on my heel, and stormed my ass right out of that restaurant.

I took a deep breath of fresh air as soon as I exited the turning doors of the restaurant, bending over to grab my knees as I clenched my teeth together tightly. I had never fought this hard not to cry in my life, not even when my father beat me within an inch of it. This wasn't for just the mere fact that the tether was straining hard against my chest. 

No, this was a different kind of pain, one that settled deep into my bones, ripped through my muscles and tore my heart to shreds. A pain that made it hard to breathe, hard to comprehend, hard to do anything more than feel the gravity of the earth as it flung me around wildly on its axis, trying to find my direction in the sea of nothingness that I felt. 

I felt like a child again. 

Unsure. Afraid. But most of all, unworthy. 

I knew that it was wrong to yell at him. I knew that this whole entire situation all my fault. Yet, deep down there was some truth to the words I'd screamed at him.

He was just so hard to read, I genuinely questioned if he ever felt anything.

A large pair of combat boots appeared in front of my me and I squinted, forcing my eyes up to see who was in front of me. Tyrus stood tall, still chewing remnants of what I assumed to be pasta as he dangled his car keys from a finger.  

"Let's go." 

I didn't have to be told twice, scurrying quickly after him as he turned to walk towards his car. I ducked into the passenger's seat, rubbing my chest painfully where the bond tugged. I knew that Corey had to be somewhere near the door of the restaurant as I was able to move far enough away to get into Tyrus's car. I found myself staring out of the window blankly as we sat, unmoving. 

"Contrary to popular belief, I'm not stupid." I snapped my head over to Tyrus as he spoke, his eyes swiveling to meet mine as well. "I know that you have feelings for my brother." 

I opened my mouth to say something to refute his statement but caught myself right before more word vomit spilled from my lips. Instead, I waited a long moment, allowing myself time to construct a more accurate, truthful reply to his statement.

"It's more complicated than that." I replied, although I was not able to speak above a whisper. I knew that if I did then I would inevitably end up in my first fit of tears since I was a child. 

"One of Daffodil's gifts is seeing. He can see someone's core emotions through touch. When he touched you and Corey that one day in your room, he saw the pain and turmoil in your heart." Tyrus's gaze was soft as he held mine. I strangely felt somewhat soothed knowing that someone knew my secret, biting my lip as he continued. 

"Ortiz, the only way that you can allow yourself to be loved is if you love yourself first." 

I painfully tore my eyes away from his, settling my gaze on my hands that rested my lap. 

"But... I was never taught how to do that." I whispered, my voice cracking for the second time today as I fought to keep myself from falling apart at the seams. 

"Then let Corey teach you." 

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CHAPTERS WILL BE GETTING SPICYYYY FROM HERE SO STAY TUNED LAY-DEEZ AND GENTS!

Please comment and vote! :)

xoxo, Alex