***Hey!...man sex... deal with it.***

Max P.O.V
    The graveyard was empty and silent under a heavy blanket of snow. A small path had been carved through the snow and the headstones had all been unearthed. Clay didn't look at me as we walked, his hand holding mine tight inside his pocket.

     We stopped before two stones, side by side. Erica Inish and Dahlia Jarvis, identical Finnish scrip curled along the bottom of both graves, but I didn't understand it.

     "This is my mother." Clay said quietly, his hand tightening on mine. "And Emmy's." I felt my chest tighten as he said it. No wonder they were so close, their mothers were obviously friends.

     "What does it say? The writing." I asked tentatively.

     "From cradle to grave, hold my hand, I'll keep you safe."
I guess friends was putting it lightly.

     "Don't, don't judge me." He said shyly. It was...adorable, the one word I'd never thought I'd never use to describe Clayton. Why would he think I would judge him, and for what? He took a deep breath and addressed the headstone of his mother. "Hi mom." His voice was soft and unsure, but his face relaxed into a small smile as he said it. "I'm sorry. I hit Franky and I know you're upset, and I am sorry. I, I wish it never happened." He whispered.

     This was so personal. He was bearing his soul, showing a side I never knew he had. There was so much sadness, but he talked to her, as if she was really still there. He seemed so much smaller somehow. His large hand still enveloped mine, but it was as if I were seeing Clay as a small ten year old boy.

     "I have your cancer." He went on to say, but his voice broke and he clenched his jaw looking away. "They can't operate and want me to start chemo and radiation therapy at the end of the week, but..."

     I looked at him, suddenly scared. But, but what? When was not having therapy even an option?!

     He looked back, determined. "But I don't know if I want to. You were so sick. I remember Emmy and I would put ice chips to your lips." His voice cracked again and I felt my chest tighten. It was suddenly hard to breath. "Because you couldn't drink. I don't want that. I don't want that mom." He looked down at the grave.

     It was frightening. Not like when he was beating Franky. No, the way he looked down was longing. He looked like he desperately wanted nothing more than to be buried, deep under snow aside his mother, and that scared the hell out of me.

     "Clayton." I whispered, so softly I didn't think he could have heard me.

     "I don't know what to do." He said, but he said it to me. He looked up at the sky, snowflakes drifting down, thick and heavy. He grabbed me and turned us, flopping backwards into the cushioning snow and dragging me to lay spread eagled next to him.

     I rolled to his chest, looking at him seriously. What had he meant? He wasn't sure about getting treatment? It could save his life. I suddenly felt sick, just thinking, if he didn't get treatment... he could die. "Clay-" I started to say, but he cut me off, and what he said stunned me into silence.

     "I love you, Max." My brain reeled. What did he just say? "I love you and I don't want you to say anything...I just wanted you to know."

     "Clayton," I breathed, trying to get back the thread of what I had been saying, but I was still trying to get back up from the words he had floored me with.

     He cut me off with a kiss, not hungry and passionate, but soft, sweet and smooth. It wasn't like any kiss I'd had before. Soft, but not chaste, sweet, but powerful. There was so much behind it, so much I couldn't decider. Why did he make this so hard!?! I needed to make him hear me! He was talking about not fighting for his life! And, all I could do was kiss back. I couldn't pull away, I didn't have the strength of will to deny him this, so I let my voice die...

     And the week went on like I hadn't heard anything. I pretended he didn't actually confess that he wasn't going to have treatment. You know why? Because I don't have the gonads! I'm hoping that he was just upset and confused and said that, not really meaning it. Pretty pathetic huh?

     Don't worry, I wasn't the only one pretending. Roy was pretending to be calm and Clay was acting like nothing was different, badly. Every chance Roy had to hug Clay, kiss his forehead, soothing his hair, show him fatherly affections in any way, he did. It wouldn't be weird or disconcerting if I hadn't seen him complete break down after the first time he did it when he though he was alone. And as for Clay, his frustration was ever mounting. He was completely restless and wasn't allowed to do anything. Finding out he had an excessive amount of testosterone in his system at all times and having no outlet for it was wearing on him.

     He'd lay on the couch and stare at the ceiling, tapping his foot like he had too much caffeine or pace the floor restlessly. Even the slightest...uh...touch, would set him off. That was weird because then, he'd walk away. We'd kiss and he'd pop a boner. He'd hug me from behind and I would lean against him and he'd pop a boner...and then he would leave!

     I felt inadequate, which was probably stupid and a bit self centered considering what Clayton was going through. It just didn't make sense, if your sex drive is higher and you have someone willing to fool around, then why not do it? Use the only outlet you've got, right?

     "Are you going tomorrow? To get chemo?" I asked as casually as I could. Clay and I were alone in the kitchen. It was late and Roy and Mama Jill had already gone to bed. Clay looked up at me from his cereal, clearly thinking.

     "She couldn't eat." He said at last. "My mom. While she was being treated, she was too sick too eat. She lost so much weight and didn't want to get out of bed, because she was so tired. When they finally told her therapy wasn't helping and she stopped chemo, she looked like she was starting to get better." He was looking at me very seriously. "I don't want that to be me too."

     I nodded. What could you say to something like that? My heart sunk though, like a stone, settling heavily in my stomach. I leaned over the counter and kissed him in, what I hoped was, a gentle, apologetic manner. "I'm going to go to bed then. Good night."

     "Good night."

     It didn't last. I woke up, light glowing on Clayton's bed from the end table. He was there, sprawled on his back with a copy of the "Simarillion" open and laid on his face. Funny, I don't remember any hot parts in that book, but there was a bulge straining against his trousers. For some reason it made me feel a little irritated.

     "Are you gonna take care of that?" I asked, sleep disrupting my voice. He groaned and pulled the book off his face.

     "No." He said shortly, sounding just as irritated as I felt. Well now I was curious.

     "Why? Isn't that uncomfortable?" He looked over, one eyebrow raised. Well...duh. "Wait, so you just been tucking it into your waistband and ignoring it every time!?"

     "Kind of, yeah."

     Damn, my poor man. I got out of bed, it was freezing by the way, and climbed into his. He moved to pulled the covers from underneath him and pulled them over both of us. "Why?" I asked softly as I pressed a sleepy kiss to his lips. "I'm right here. I'm not going to catch your cancer."

     He pulled back to look at me. "I don't want my cancer dictating my life! It pisses me off to think I'm horny because of it, it pisses me off to think I'm pisses off because of it, and I'm pisses off because now I'm trapped inside my head with nothing to do to distract me while I'm horny and pissed." He said exasperated. Clearly he had been thinking this for awhile and almost looked relived to get it off is chest.

     He looked at me sad and frustrated. Aw. I put a hand to the back if his neck and pulled him back down to kiss me. "So, let me distract you." I breathed as sensuously as I could. "Your cancer isn't telling you to fool around with me, I'm telling you to fool around with me." He almost smiled and kissed me back pulling me pressed flush against him.

     My shirt was gone, then my pants; he was only trapped inside his briefs. I sat on top, grinding and rocking my ass against his hard cock. He hummed into the kiss, letting me dominant his mouth. Damn that felt good. His finger pushed on my hole, rubbing small circles before trailing up the crack and back down, never breaching, just enough to make me want to push back.

     His lips were hot as I nibbled on them, catching his tongue with mine as he leaned back up to meet me. I was getting hard and his teasing was starting to drive me wild. I pushed back against his fingers.

     "Come on, stop teasing me, please." I whispered.

     "Max, you don't have to-" I wasn't going to let him finish that sentence. I pulled back and sat down on his clothed cock, glaring at him. The smallest amount of pain was visible of his features as he winced, but his groan spoke of anything but. I could feel him throbbing against my balls.

     "I'm doing this because I want to." I said slowly. "This isn't pity sex, this isn't because you have cancer and I'm suddenly changing my mind. I, want, this."

     He met my eyes. The air was charged, a sexual tension I had never known possible crackled around us and for a moment everything slowed down. Then we were on our knees; kissing, grabbing, pawing, grinding, panting, it was borderline animalistic.

     He held me crushed against him, trying to get me as close as possible, making me have to crane my neck up to continue kissing him. I sucked a few marks on his collar as he panted, completely focused on dry humping me.

     "Oh god Max!" He gasp against my mouth as I grabbed his ass, sliding my hands under the waistband. He humped his crotch against mine as I dragged his briefs down, his erection bouncing back up as it slipped free from the elastic. He almost ripped them the rest of the way off and snatched me back against him. Bumping our cocks hard against each other, it felt like sparks were snapping up my spine, heating my core and pooling in my abdomen.

     He broke away with a quick, "Just a sec." And fished in the bed side cabinet. The pop of a plastic cap made me shiver and he tossed the small bottle on the bed as he beckoned me back over to him, meeting me halfway. We smashed our mouths together in a clash of lips and clank of teeth, but neither of us seemed to mind as we sucked at each others lips and tongues.

     His hand fell between my legs and fondled my balls in his palm as his slick fingers inched closer and closer. I clenched my teeth and my lips drew a thin line. Not pain, just...weird. He coaxed my mouth back open to distract me and soon I was puddy in his hands as he kissed me slow, spreading me open with his fingers.

     I actually groaned in disappointment when he pulled away to grab a condom. He gave me a shy, sexy smirk. "You sure about this?" He asked. His hands were shaking as he fumbled with the wrapper. Yes! Damnit, I was sure! I didn't say it. Instead I took it from him, tore it open and dragged him back down to my lips as I rolled the condom on for him.

     He bucked ever so slightly into my hand and moaned into my mouth. I laid back, pulling him with me and flopping down, into the mattress. He scrambled to sit up and position himself, reclaiming the little bottle, and I felt a twinge of worry stir somewhere from the depths of my lust.

     Fingers will never equate to a cock. He sunk into me and every muscle in my body tensed, I arched off the sheet, my fists clenched and my mouth open in a silent gasp. He leaned over me, propped on a forearm, pressing languid kisses to my face and neck.

     Ow.

     He used his other hand to push me back into the mattress. "Relax." He said, his voice slightly strained. He rubbed my chest and stomach and reached my not-quite-so-erection. He massaged the shaft, looking worried. "Do you need to stop?"

     Fucking Hunter must have been Superman.

     "I know you don't want to hear this, but you are very big and way bigger than me. I just need a minute." I croaked. It already felt better, somewhere between mind blowing and fucking awful, but kept improving as he trailed his hands on me, tugging my cock and sucking on my nipple.

     I wrapped my legs around his waist. I could feel him shaking and I felt bad I'd made him wait like that for so long. He rolled his hips into me with a relieved gust of air tickling my collarbone.

      He started slow for me and picked up his pace as I started to squirm and made noise from under him. He couldn't keep his hands still, running them up and down me like I was holy, marveling every inch as if this would be the last time he would touch me. And he was loud as I returned the favor, gasping and groaning in sweet pleasure as I explored the hardened body again. I held his meaty ribs, caressed the sculpted stomach and ran my thumb up the indent in his chest, my fingers catching slightly on his nipples.

     The bed shifted with his thruts, the headboard knocking rhythmically against the wall and I encouraged him onward with my heels in the dimples above his ass. I only thought about that maybe waking our parents, after the fact. In hindsight, it didn't matter, it's not like we were trying to be quite in the first place.

     "OohJESUS!~" Clay pushed the back of my thigh towards my chest and fucked on...and I saw stars. You hear people say that and never believe them, but as I tossed my head back and shouted, I saw little bright spots of light as heat and electricity bolted up my spine and tingled in the tips of my fingers, my toes and my cock. "Again." I said, breathless as my aching cock twitched off my stomach before falling back.

     Again, again, and again. I had no qualms about jerking myself off in front of him anymore. What was uncomfortable before was now anything but. I could feel him from root to tip as he slid in and out, my stomach clenching in butterflies every time. He fell back over me as he started to lose his rhythm. Wrapping his hand over mine he jerked me fast and out of tune with his thrusts. I almost screamed, but he locked our lips together and it became a muffled moan as I tensed, released, and came hard onto my chest.

     "Max," He whispered, breaking our kiss so I could breath. His eyes closed, he gritted his teeth and I could feel him swell slightly, just before he came too with a full body shudder and a heavy sigh.

     We panted, holding on to each other for what felt like an age. "You're alright?" Clay asked me, rolling us to our sides and hugging me against his chest.

     "I'm so much better than just alright." I said, still hazy. He smiled and chuckled. He felt so good as he held me.

     "I love you. We should clean up." He whispered. I groaned and shook my head. I wasn't feeling that good, correction, I was feeling to good. "I have to clean off at least a bit. We can shower in the morning." He said, detangling himself from me and moving to the door.

     ...He said it again. I wanted to say it back, but I wasn't sure? He wasn't giving me enough time to find out. I liked him, I really, really liked him. I looked over at the clock on the dresser. It was four in the morning. Clayton wasn't going to get treatment today...

     I'll be damned before I let him give up on himself. I needed that time to find out if I loved him back. I grabbed my phone and thought about what I wanted to do. I was to much of a coward to do it myself, I needed help. My mind drifted back to the graveyard and it hit me. Emmy. There was no way he had told her what he was planning on not doing, she would have had kittens. In fact, I hadn't seen Emmy since the day Clay came home from the hospital... He was keeping her away.

     Without thinking I sent a text and threw my phone back across to my bed. Clayton returned, spooning me as I drifted to sleep, kissing the nape of my neck and...I felt absolutely no guilt.

     Max: ~"Emmy, Clayton isn't going to go through with cancer treatment. I need help. Please, he is going to kill himself."~

*** "I ran in the house, I locked every lock, I was not gonna party with some horny little Spock. Suddenly I screamed in horror, he was groping my leg through the doggie dooooooor! Earth girls! Earth girls are easy, Earth girls, know how to please me, Earth girls!".....had nothing to do with my chapter, but I am always astounded when I go through my vinyl collection and find it....I can't remember where the hell I got the record! Anyways, I hope you enjoyed my smuttastic chapter...that I finally got done writing. Okay, I had this done a few days ago, but I had to re-write it...twice. I was feeling sad and I killed off all my characters at the end of this chapter...twice!...yeaaaah... >~< I like this version much better. Have a lovely day.