"Share the load"

New Year, 1997

Christmas at the Rier estate was far jollier than any she had experienced at home. In fact, for the first time ever, Circi would be having a sleepover with her best friends and would wake up on Christmas morning to her mother shaking her gently awake with a mug of hot chocolate in hand.

In the few days between Christmas day and New Year's eve, Mica and Leslie had made their way to the estate to spend the new year. The festivities never stopped and, while they were as extravagant as a Malfoy Christmas, it was clear that Serenity looked out of place among the family. At dinner she barely spoke, even to her own father, simply chewing on endless second helpings and looking between the conversation.

The night Mica was expected to arrive, Circi sat in the study that inhabited her aunt Merritt's portrait across from her mother sipping freshly brewed tea.

"How is it?" Serenity asked, hesitant and cradling her own mug in her hands. Her lips were chewed raw, her cheeks gaunt despite months of recovery. And, despite her appearance, she treated Circi like the ghost between them.

"It's good." Circi responded, pinching her lips. "You don't have to be careful with me."

"Hm,"

"Mum," putting her mug down, Circi leaned forward and pulled the sleeves of her shirt over her hands, "what's wrong?"

"Nothing," they fell into silence. Serenity glanced up at her sister above the fireplace but the woman was gone, only a backdrop of the forest she saw each night before bed. "I'm not who you think I am. Not whatever Lucius made me, not what my father made me and definitely not what you thought I am." She pointed a shaky finger at Circi's head. "My whole life- everything I've done- did- has brought me here... to you. And I can't be who you expect me to be." 

Despite the strain on her voice, there were no tears in Serenity's eyes. She was spent of tears, of the sadness and desperation which had wracked her body every day since her escape. And, though her hands shook, she could not banish her anxiety so easily. She looked at her hands again, shaking around the mug and making the tea inside splash over. She tried to stop it, hold back the telltale sign that she was not wholly home, but she shook more so. Circi moved forward to hold her hands steady and, for a moment, Serenity could see only love in her daughter's eyes and a sadness that had riddled her own childhood.

"I just want my mum." Circi told her in a quiet voice as someone knocked on the door. When she turned to answer, Serenity let her lip tremble and she wiped away a stray tear. Behind the door, there was a commotion and when Circi opened it she was just about tackled to the floor by Mica and Leslie. The mood in the room brightened as the three tussled on the floor with each other. Serenity's laugh drew their attention and the guests stood straight. "Guys, this is my mum. Mum..." she gestured to the two of them, "Mica, Leslie." Serenity nodded politely, forcing herself to drink her tea.

"Hi, Mum," Mica waved slightly before crossing her arms behind her back, rocking on her feet. Leslie merely nodded politely but said nothing, his shoes looking bigger next to Mica in her socks.

"Right, um," Circi backed towards the door, fingers wrapped in Mica's sleeve, "I should show them my room."

They left the study as Merritt's portrait returned and navigated the corridors to Circi's newly decorated bedroom. It was one of the bigger rooms, unused for years since the death of its earlier inhabitants. Hayley had told her about the night her great Aunt Dara had unknowingly led her sons to an untimely death at the hands of He-who-must-not-be-named. It was a heartbreaking story, certainly not one she liked to think about during the festive season.

Despite the size, however, there was now only one double bed in the centre of the room. A loveseat sat against the wall behind the door, adjacent to a large wooden wardrobe. They took a seat on the circular rug in the centre of the room, leaning against the bed and Mica and Leslie's trunks which had been brought up before they arrived.

"This place is a maze." Leslie announced. Mica nodded along, biting through the packaging of a box of Bertie Botts Every Flavour Jelly Beans. "Your foyer is the same size as my parents' flat." He rolled his eyes as Circi shrugged.

"It's definitely bigger than Malfoy Manor." At her response, Leslie rolled his eyes.

"Purebloods." He scoffed, earning raised eyebrows from the girls.

"Aren't you a pureblood?" Mica says with a smile.

"I'm half blood." He points to himself. "Adopted, remember?"

"Whatever," Mica rolls her eyes.

The two feign irritation with each other, maintaining the act for a few minutes until they make eye contact and burst into laughter. Circi splutters along with them. As she observed their interaction she recognised the overwhelming sense of relaxation she had here. With her best friends, under the same roof as her mother, the evil of the wizarding world never felt so far away. And yet, she couldn't ignore her mind drifting to Draco- how was he spending his new year?

*

A few days later, in the early hours of New Year's Day, the three teenagers had retired to sleep. There were still fireworks in the sky as the muggles down the road continued their celebrations and Circi could hear Dexter talking loudly with his cousin Erin.

She had spent the night by Mica's side, engaging in conversation with her friends and watching her mother drift between different family members. The only conversation she had held for more than a minute was with Théo, Erin's partner who had recently joined the family.

Not long after midnight, Leslie was beginning to fall asleep on his feet and so they retired to bed. Circi slept in her own bed whereas Mica and Leslie occupied the pile of blankets on the ground around the room. From her position they looked like birds in a nest, swallowed by clouds of warmth. Sometimes, she contemplated joining them.

The mattress dipped beside her. Lying back down, she turned to look at Mica, who offered a tight-lipped smile.

"It's really weird seeing Professor Rier so late at night." Of course, Dexter had observed Leslie's exhaustion and sent them to bed; he had pretended he had caught them after curfew in the Hogwarts corridors- a genius idea the alcohol had encouraged him to pursue.

"It's really weird being related to him."

Mica nestled into the spare pillow, breathing deeply as her blonde hair splayed across the sheets. Circi took a strand in her hand and twirled it around her finger.

"My mum used to sleep in my bed before Hogwarts," Mica said in a low voice. She looked over her shoulder and checked Leslie was still snoring lightly before settling closer to Circi. Her finger trailed Circi's pinky finger and watched her play with her hair. A firework lit up the room briefly and their eyes met. "My best friend before Hogwarts," she took a deep breath, "was really sick. She was a muggle and their doctors said she couldn't be cured. For years, I begged my parents to help her. I was dumb, didn't know any better. But she was my best friend and I could only watch. Near the end, I closed up, I knew she was dead days before they did because I said nothing. But, mum stayed by me, held me, through every second because she knew something was wrong." Circi's breathing was so quiet she wondered if the girl was asleep. But another firework showed that she was listening and watching through the shadows. Mica stopped trailing her still hand now and laced their fingers together. "All I'm saying," she took a breath, "is that I see you."

The silence broke when Circi inhaled sharply. Another firework exploded, casting a green glow through the window and illuminating the tears in her eyes.

"I'm so scared for him," holding tightly to Mica's hand, Circi leaned in closer and lowered her voice as much as possible. "They made him-" Cutting herself off, Circi shuddered and refused to continue. She couldn't say it out loud, not to anyone.

Mica leaned her forehead against Circi's and wrapped her free arm across her waist. The added wait on her body was far more comforting than the emptiness of the duvet by herself. Mica's bare arm was resting at the point where her shirt was riding up her waist and her skin was set alite where they were touching.

"I see you, Circ, I'm right here." They didn't speak anymore, letting the silence between fireworks crawl over them. Hands to their chests, foreheads touching, they slept into the new year and Circi felt the weight of her worry shift ever-so-slightly.