"Not a date"

November 1996, 2 months later

As per usual, they had a new defense against the dark arts professor this year. Unlike the past few years she had been at the school, the new professor was their own Professor Snape which struck everyone as odd because, above his borderline abusive disposition towards most students, he was a talented potions master.

Some of the older students were quick to point out that this had been a position he had wanted for years now so it seemed awfully convenient for a new potions master to be appointed instead.

The new professor in question was one by the name of Slughorn. He was a relatively square man with cheeks that sagged with age. His bushy eyebrows made him appear as though he was always in deep thought and, whenever Circi caught him watching his in class he appeared to be thinking particularly hard.

After a week of classes, he approached her during a lesson while the class was brewing a potion. He inquired after her mother, especially now that her pardon had been made official and public.

"It's a shame, what happened," he had said with the same thoughtful look and a hint of shame, or was it grief, in his eyes, "she was a very bright witch. She could have done wonderful things if it wasn't for, well, you know. And your father," he tutted, shaking his head, "I was terribly sorry to hear what happened. He was one of my dearest students."

"Thank you, Professor." She wasn't sure how to understand his words and was thankful that he left after saying that.

The incident left a sour taste in her mouth and the rest of the week passed by slowly. As soon as Saturday came around it was decided that she would go into Hogsmeade with Leslie and Mica.

Wrapped in her new coat, scarf and hat, she pressed her gloved hands against Leslie's cheeks and patted his face.

"Why are you not ready?" She looked down at his cuffed trousers and the tucked-in turtleneck jumper. He looked warm, sure, but not warmth enough to go traipsing through snow. He shoved his hands in his pockets and rocked on his heels.

"I'm not going, I forgot to say I have, um, a study date."

Raising an eyebrow, Circi considered it for a moment before nodding. Parting with a playful shove against his shoulder, she wished him look and left the common room. Sure, she wanted to know who his date was with, but if there was one thing she had learned recently, it was that she shouldn't push for answers.

Mica looked equally cosy, her cheeks flushed a faint pink against the cold air, but she was nonetheless happy to see her friend. She waved enthusiastically and snuggled deeper into her scarf.

"Where is he?" She looked over Circi's shoulder for their friend. Circi wiggled her eyebrows as she approached.

"On a date."

"Ooh," linking arms, the two left the courtyard and started down the snowy path towards Hogsmeade, "boyfriend number two?"

"Maybe, could be girlfriend number one?" This made Mica laugh shortly, she shook her head and wondered what type of girl Leslie could be attracted to. It never crossed her mind that he could potentially be attracted to both. She had only ever been attracted to one gender.

"You think so?"

"Why not?" Circi shrugged, looking at Mica as she watched the students who had left during the morning pass by them on their way back to the castle. "I wouldn't put it past him. Do you remember that Durmstrang girl?"

"Yeah, she was pretty but that wasn't attractive. Even I can appreciate her... prowess." She pursed her lips, glancing down at Circi long enough to watch the girl roll her eyes. It started snowing and the small flakes were settling in her hair where it hung over her coat. Looking up at the sky, Circi closed her eyes and smiled as she felt snowflakes tickle her face and melt on impact.

"You know," she began, eyes still closed and stopping in the middle of the path, "you cannot judge the level of someone's attraction based on how threatened your own pride is."

"And what would you know about attraction?"

Circi opened her eyes and tilted her head to meet her brown eyes, soft and rich, feeling as though she could lie down in them and be protected from the cold forever. Her gaze shifted to her nose, round and flushed against the cold, her thin lips that always accompanied a promise or comfort. She was dressed in a red and gold jumper, sporting her house colours over black leggings and boots. What did she know about attraction? Oh, if only she knew.

"Yeah, you're totally right Miss I've-been-on-loads-of-dates." Shoving her elbow into her side, Mica grinned.

"Shut up." They began walking again, deciding to go straight for The Three Broomsticks.

As per usual, for the winter months, the inn was packed with hogwarts students warming up with a warm mug of butterbeer. To begin with, the sounds of people talking and glasses clattering all rushed into one monotonous sound that rose up and crashed onto Circi as she walked through the door. It was normal, when entering into the middle of such a crowded space for her to lose her bearings.

She had her hand clasped tightly around Mica's, who was dragging her to the side where a newly-abandoned booth sat in the corner by the fireplace.

They slid onto the bench, Circi scooting as far into the corner as possible while untying and removing her scarf. Her eyes darted around the inn, taking note of every single person's face, unaware that Mica was talking to her until both of their coats were off.

"Sorry?"

"I said," she smiled, "what do you want? Butterbeer?"

"No," she shook her head, "hot chocolate, no marshmallows."

Mica left, heading for the bar because there was no hope for table service at such a busy hour. In her absence, Circi busied herself with grouping the empty cups left from the previous occupants of the table tightly together. Her eyes drifted back to the room and she watched the table by the stairs empty. While there was no difference to the noise, the emptiness of the table made the room seem much bigger now. Her shoulders slouched and she sat back on the cushion.

Clinking the mugs together, Mica sat back down with a grin and sipped at her drink.

"I didn't think it would be this noisy today." She looks at Circi, watching her hum in agreement and have a drink. They watched the people in the room long enough for the empty table to fill up once more. Harry caught Mica's eye and waved lightly. The two had become much friendlier now that Mica was playing mainly as beater this year on their team. "Can you believe it?" Mica twisted her body to face her friend. "I'm an actual beater now, not just a sub. I started training the week after Fred and George left."

"Fred and George?" Circi's eyebrows lowered.

"The Weasley twins. You know them," she paused in time, grinning and nudging Circi when she finally remembered them, "silly goose."

"They were Carmen's friends and your beaters. Why should I care to remember them?"

"Do you remember how they left last year?" Mica's jaw dropped. "With a bang!"

"With a bang."

Circi rolled her eyes as they spoke the phrase together. She had heard it so many times. It had been retold to her as if she wasn't in the courtyard when they flew away on their broomsticks. At first, Carmen had told her of their plan a few days before it's execution. Then, Mica heard from Harry and Hermione. Then, everyone was talking about it, Leslie couldn't say anything other than 'did you hear? Fred and George Weasley released fireworks on Umbridge.'

As thrilling as indoor, magical, explosives sounded. Nearly six months later and she was beginning to wish the twins had blown themselves up, at least she could experience some genuine interest in their actions that way. Now? She was bored of hearing about it.

But it excited Mica, and she was willing to hear the story a hundred times over if it would make her happy. Despite this, she wasn't too willing to control her bladder to hear the tale.

Excusing herself on charge of an empty mug and therefore needing to empty her bladder, Circi navigated the inn. She nodded politely with a small smile as she passed by Harry, Ron and Hermione but paid them no more attention than she felt necessary.

On her way out of the toilets, Circi bumped into Draco on his way to the door labled 'Gents' down a corridor. He sneered at her long after he registered who she was.

"Watch where you're going." His voice was sharp and harsh, similar to their father's whenever they were in trouble.

"You watch it," she mumbled, curling up her lip in distaste as he huffed and sauntered away. Glancing over her shoulder briefly, she ducked her head to hide her hurt and pushed through the crowd to get back to Mica.

Forcing a smile as she sat down and tapped her nails on the mug, her eyes drifted in the direction she had just come from. Mica was talking again, something about quidditch practise and Harry Potter, but it was all a muffled murmur. Looking at her friend to nod at what she was saying, her eyes glanced out the window over her shoulder and spotted Draco marching down the street with his fur hat and hunched shoulders.

Excusing herself once again, this time with no explanation, Circi ran outside and down the snowy cobblestones. As she caught up with Draco on the edge of the village, she slid to halt on the icy path a little ahead of him.

Beneath the bundle of fur and cotton around his face she could see him roll his eyes.

"What do you want?" He huffed as she caught her breath and readjusted the scarf around her neck.

"First, I want you to stop doing that," she pointed at him, "treating me like I'm some sort of pest. I'm not. Second," she dragged him off the road and under the shadow of a building, gripping his arm so he could not run from her. Since they returned to Hogwarts she had been treated like an inconvenience, an irritation and she was sick of it. "I want to know what happened after I left home to make you hate me so much."

"I don't hate you," he kicked at the snow, his words fading as he struggled to find the words to say. She crossed her arms, fixing him with the same look his father always gave him when he had played too rough as a child. "You don't understand the pressure I'm under, mother would-" He coughed, a fake one by all means, but it ended his sentence before he could say any more to incriminate himself.

Clenching her jaw, Circi casts her eyes downward. Of course, Narcissa was hiding Bellatrix Lestrange in their home, it made sense for something awful to have happened that summer. And, suddenly, Circi felt bitter regret for her rash and selfish actions. She had left Draco in a house with a renowned death eater and his mother, the woman who married a man convicted for lying to protect his death eater arse in the first war... the man who imprisoned her own mother.

The image of the dark mark slithering over her father's arm, wand poised to hurt her in the midst of battle, flashed across her thoughts and she glances at the arm she was still holding tightly to. Releasing him, she stepped to the side, blocking the street view of Draco. She points to his arm, hesitant and scared of what she may see but, she had to know.

"Show me your arm."

"What?" He crossed his arms.

"Show me," her voice wavered, "your arm." The idea that he could be one of them pained her and when he gradually lifted his coat, jumper and shirt sleeve, she felt as though she had been punched in the gut. Heaving as the wind was knocked out of her, she grabbed his arm and pulled his sleeves down again. They stood in silence, Draco biting his trembling lip as she hunched over his arm shaking her head. "When you said you grew up..."

He swallowed harshly, tucking his chin behind his scarf to hide his quivering lip as he watched her lean against the wall next to him.

"I had no choice, Circ, if I didn't he would have killed me, and you."

"What does he want?" She looks up at him, tears in her eyes, "You-know-who."

"To punish father for not remaining loyal, and for failing in the ministry when... well, you know." She nods, sliding her hand into his, hoping to stop it from shaking in her gloved. They stood in silence for so long, standing in the shadows side by side, hand in hand. Draco looked down at her, his heart pounding but otherwise calm. "Say something."

"I want to help you." His face became almost irritable.

"No."

"But-"

"You don't know what I have to do."

"I don't want to know. I just don't want you to be alone in this." She stared at him, watching him process this, weighing up the pros and cons. And suddenly she could see him again, the boy she grew up with. And that's all he was: a scared boy with the weight of the world on his shoulders. He needed her help, even if he couldn't admit that.

"I don't need your help." She scowled, seeing past his facade now and watching him cower behind his furs.

"No, you don't want me to be involved. But I am, Draco, my mother was recently a fugitive, my father a convicted death eater. Like it or not, I am as close to this as you are. The difference between us is that I'm not trapped-" he looked up, eyes wide, "no offence- but I don't have my mother leering over my shoulder or my aunt whispering in my ear, actually I think all of my aunts are dead, and most importantly, I am invisible. The only people who pay attention to me are Mica, Leslie, Carmen and you." She tugged on his hand. "Let me help."

He shook his head, walking away from her without another word.

A/N

I wrote the most of this chapter for nano and on my return from my hiatus I realised I put the katie bell thing ahead of another scene so I had to rewrite this chapter yay...