"Bittersweet Reunions"

Christmas 1995, 2 months later

Being back at the manor, while it was her home, Circi could tell some foreboding activities had already taken place within its walls in her absence. Every step she took as she wandered about the grounds seemed to echo and the elves were particularly skittish.

The manor itself seemed to radiate fear, a feeling which she could only escape in the gardens or her own bedroom.

Upon arriving home, Lucius had advised her not to spend too much time outdoors for fear of her falling ill. And so, respecting his wishes, she stuck to exploring the place she knew like the back of her hand... well, her left hand at least. But the house was a stranger to her now, this new, scary, building for the new, scared, Circi.

One day, she wandered into the study her father often took residence in when he worked from home. She stumbled upon him writing a letter which he hastily abandoned and invited her in.

She had nothing to say for him. Not out of want, but out of obligation. It was her who had came across him so surely she should say something, but the words would not come. Instead, she watched him as he watched her and let him take her right hand in his. She watched as he traced the faded scarring that only made the slightest bumps on her skin, but she swore it was as raised as it had been the day after it happened.

She observed his face grow solemn and... embarrassed? Of course, Lucius Malfoy would not be embarrassed at the act, but being caught in the act.

"I'm sorry, this is not what I intended." Taking her hand back, she said nothing as he hung his head. "I didn't want to hurt you."

"You wanted my letters to stop." She nodded curtly, telling him exactly what he was too scared to say. "By any means necessary, right? That's what you always used to tell me and Draco." He couldn't look at her but she was looking at him. "It worked for a few hours, so you can pat yourself on the back. But Carmen gave me a healing potion and the letters were much more regular after that."

"I know-" he stopped himself, taking in a sharp breath, "I know what Carmen did for you. She wrote a letter to me and I also received a letter from Fudge as a result of her anger..." they fell into a silence for a moment. Carmen had sent a letter to Lucius? It was a though Circi was trying to comprehend. Once upon a time, about a year ago, Carmen was the only teenager Lucius spoke to with any manner of respect. And here he was, ashamed as a result of her words. "I'm glad you have someone like her, she reminds me of your mother."

"Um," Circi took a sharp breath and turned her head to the window that looked over the back garden where she could see the greenhouse in the distance, "I want to spend some time in the Greenhouse soon, the house is suffocating me. Could you enchant it to be warm? If you're really sorry."

Finally meeting his daughter's gaze, Lucius nods.

True to his word, Lucius had enchanted the greenhouse to remain at a tolerable heat. As he stood among the mess of the place he felt nostalgia clawing up his throat and whispering in his ears like the ghost of a past lover. Shaking it away, he closed the greenhouse behind him, shivered into the collar of his winter robe and gripped the cold head of his cane as he stabbed it into the layer of snow disguising the rest of the garden.

By the time he was back in the house a blizzard had already begun to pick up. His hair, windswept and littered with snowflakes, covered his face as the wind blew in after him. Despite hindering his sight, he could see enough to catch Circi before she ran past him and back outside.

He caught her hood, fisting the fur of her hood and halting her. The jerk of his wrist as he pulled her away from the door forced the top of the coat's zip to strike the base of her throat. Standing, dazed and caressing the indent on her neck, Circi looked up at him, confused.

"Not tonight, Circi, wait and see if the snow has slowed in the morning. Besides, it's christmas eve, come sit with us."

"Uh," Circi hesitated, still rubbing her neck and loosening her zip. She stares longingly out of the door but nods nonetheless, "fine, I'll get changed."

Content, Lucius departed further into the house, smoothing his hair back with his fingers. Waiting until he was around the corner and likely down the hall, Circi ran out of the house and waded through the snow to her safe haven. Her teeth chattered violently as she entered the greenhouse but soon warmed up. Smiling to herself, she skipped over to the bed that remained from the summer and kicked up her legs.

Taking in a deep breath, she lifts the edge of the blanket and digs out the pile of letters she had received from Christian over the summer. Her secret, forbidden letters... from her Grandfather. Among them was the occasional letter from Leslie, Carmen and Mica. One of the letters from Mica was unopened, it was her final response of the summer and neither had really mentioned it since returning to hogwarts.

Flicking through her letters once, and then pulling out the journal she reserved for these moments alone where she was confident her innermost thoughts of those topics forbidden to her elsewhere could reside.

She was scrawling away, her handwriting jagged and no longer curling around as it used to, when a crack broke through the silence of the place. Surprised and hiding her journal as quickly as she could, she looks around and spots a dark figure loitering in the corner.

Immediately, she could tell that this was a stranger. They were too tall to be Draco, too curvy to be her father and too skinny to be Narcissa. Alert in the presence of an intruder, Circi couldn't move. Every fibre of her body screamed to run. There was no questioning whether she should fight for she did not have her wand and now she was regretting disobeying her father.

"Who- who are you?" The woman held out her fist in silence and the room slowly grew lighter as pink light broke through her fingers. Eyes wide with wonder, Circi was transfixed by the display of magic and slowly stood to her feet. She looked between the light and the woman's face, noting her hollow cheeks and limp mousy hair. The woman was smiling but her eyes were sad as she looked down at her. The blue jumper she wore hung loose and threatened to slip down her shoulders and her trousers seemed to only stay up with the belt that clearly had a hand-punched hole situated past the intended style.

"You don't know me, but my name is Serenity-" Circi's eyes widened, of course.

"Mum?" Suddenly, Serenity was crying and nodding. She opened her palm, letting the light show her every part of her daughter. Clapping her spare hand over her mouth, she wheezed and forced herself to calm down.

"I'm sorry," she choked out, "you look so beautiful." Unsure how to process everything, Circi simply shifted her weight and played with the fading scar on her hand.

Serenity was itching to touch her, to take her in her arms and never let go. But the overwhelming air of awkwardness that consumed the reunion grounded both of them. Mother and daughter, together at last but with no idea how to speak anymore. The light in Serenity's palm faded, and with it any sound except their breathing and nearly inaudible footsteps outside. Circi's chest swelled with unconscious fear as she yearned to say something, anything, and as she opened her mouth to make an observation on the similarity in their eye colour, a voice outside the door interrupts them.

Their eyes meet, hazel on hazel, and Circi recognises instantly who it is. She was wholly fearful of his reaction upon seeing her. Surely he would have Serenity sent back to Azkaban and any attempt at indicating for her mother to leave is ignored by the pure shock and wonder on the woman's face.

"Circini, come now, I will have none of this ridiculousness again-" Lucius halts upon entering the greenhouse. His words fail and his mouth hangs agape. Paling, his face suggested he had seen a ghost. And in some respects, he had. While the ghost was not the classic apparition common to the Wizarding World, he was looking upon the ghost of the woman he had once loved. "Circini, step away."

"But, Father-"

"Do not question me," he demands and points out of the door, "go straight to your room."

They stood in silence as she left. He shut the door, taking a moment to himself while he had his back turned but he could hear her breathing. She breathed so loud these days. Closing his eyes, he tried to keep in mind the girl he had loved. Her voluminous brunette hair, her eyes that betrayed every emotion she felt. The power she radiated... barely a ripple of it in the air now.

"Will you look at me?" Soft, quiet, submissive- nervous. Never had she sounded so weak to him but, he supposed, that is what Azkaban does to a person like her. She used to be so passionate, so certain of herself. He looked at her now and all he saw was fear.

"It pains me to do so." Her hands fidgeted by her side, playing with the woollen sleeves of her jumper that had been sitting in her old wardrobe. That was when he realised that she had visibly shrunk too. It wasn't just her posture or the limpness in her hair, but she was considerably small and possibly shorter. Fighting every urge to approach her, his fingers also twitched as he clung to his cane for support. 'Pain' was perhaps the wrong word for he knew his struggle now was nothing compared to what he forced her to endure. "You, uh," he looked away, lying, "you look well." She could tell he was lying.

"We look old. Your actions gave us equal suffering in that respect." They descended into silence once more.

Apologies were spiralling through Lucius' mind. He realised that each time his hand visibly moved over the head of his cane she flinched and he soon realised it was due to the fact that she knew he kept his wand there, she was by no means prepared to duel. And he did not want to duel her. He couldn't.

"I, uh," fumbling, stumbling over his words, he scratched the back of his neck, unable to produce a sufficient sentence. How could he apologise for his actions? Two words simply won't cut it.

"I loved you." She broke the silence in a broken voice, as though she had to fight the words out. But, upon meeting his eyes, he finally saw an emotion in those beautiful eyes of hers. She was without a doubt determined and meant what she was going to say, even as the tears fell. "Before... everything. I loved you and I thought you loved me. And then she came back and ripped me apart while you watched. I loved you when you locked me up and took my daughter away, I loved you every day as I fought the dementors. They forced me to remember the good parts and took them away. Whatever happened between us is all a faded memory, it's foggy like a word on the tip of my tongue that I simply cannot remember for the life of me. And while I can only remember the worst moments, the moments when you hurt me and tore my soul from my body, I still love you.

And I hate that I still love you." She had tears on her face but she remained composed and even ventured forward a few steps. "I want you to know that every fibre of my body hates you. My mind is screaming at me to kill you right here, no one would know. Not really." For a moment, the look in her eyes, one that could only be born of insanity, terrified him. It began to fade as she continued to reason to herself. "But I see Circini. My baby all grown up, and she's not completely ruined. She's smart, she knows that what we did was wrong and that shows me that part of you still cares. That you're not a complete monster." Serenity steps closer to him. Close enough now to tentatively take hold of the loose collar of his robe. "If you love her as much as it looks like you do, I need you to promise me something.

Don't let her be like us." She pleaded with him, balling the fabric in her fists and she shook him slightly. The tears were flowing freely now and her voice broke. "Promise me, you will keep her from the darkness that ruined us or so help me, Merlin, I will kill you."

He brought his hand up to run his hand over her hair. It brought back so many memories, renewed so much pain.

"I promise." Bowing her head and letting him go, she stepped away.

"I don't expect you to apologise, Lucy, it's obvious you want to." She looks up finally, both of their eyes glossed over with tears even though his were more controlled. "But nothing you can say will ever make me forgive you."

"I know," he bows his head. There was so much he still had to say and he had the ghost of an urge to catch her up on his life but a familiar pop resonated off of the glass walls and, upon raising his head, she was gone.

A/N

i have no idea why i though Circi and Serenity being reunited would be eventful, they're both unecessarily awkward these days.