"Fight or Flight"

April 1998, one month later

The rest of the holidays seemed to drag on as though time itself wanted to keep Circi in the Manor. She rarely left her room, grateful that her family didn't try to force her out to dinner, and a house elf often brought her meals with shaky legs.

After the appearance of Harry Potter and witnessing the torture she could hardly imagine anyone could inflict on others in the right mind, she was dragged hopelessly back to Hogwarts. Back to Mica and the target on her back because of her closeness to Circi. It seemed more than cruel for the Carrows to target them, a bunch of fifth-years, without direct orders to do so.

They were playing games. Running circles around Snape and Lucius, testing their limits. No student had died under their care, but no student had returned the same and Circi could only wonder when they would go that step further.

After all, there was no ministry to arrest them.

Circi sat against her velvet headboard, hugging her knees and staring down at a letter she had just finished drafting. It would be her sixth letter to Mica since Harry had escaped the Manor and yet she had received no responses. In fact, she hadn't heard from any of her friends except Myrna who simply wrote 'we're okay.'

This did nothing to ease her mind. While her thoughts were reeling with images of Mica writhing at the mercy of the cruciatus curse, she could only assume Myrna's concerns were with her own wellbeing and that of her closest friends- among whom Mica had never been considered. Sure, Rhiannon and Myrna were the safest. They were not only Slytherins but Purebloods and that had to amount to something for the Carrows. Leslie, also, was a Slytherin and a valuable one at that. If he wasn't so defensive with everyone he might have been recruited back when Draco was.

But, it was his secrets that made her worry. All the Carrows had to do was take his glasses and he would hardly be able to see what they were doing, he wouldn't be able to observe others and gather secrets, but he could be wrung off the secrets he already knew.

And Mica? She was everything the death eaters despised. Gryffindor, halfblood, and her father had been a traitor to everyone. It was information she had been told in an attempt to connect with each other, Mica thought it would be a comfort to Circi to know that her father had also been a death eater in the early years of the first war. She referred to him only as Amon and spoke about him with a scowl set on her face. Circi had never seen her look so resentful of a person. And, even if she did renounce her father, he had married a muggle in the end and had her. The death eaters would not forgive that.

Circi's eyes widened, coming to a realisation that the torture they forced Mica to endure was not about her.

She'd been selfish, self-centred, and trusting of her father's words that they would punish her to punish him. But there was no one around to laugh at his hurt anymore, just those he had hurt. Hell, the death eaters barely knew Mica was connected to Circi until she and Dexter intervened.

It was all starting to click and Mica's radio silence chewed at her consciousness more and more.

Tearing up the letter, she tossed the fragments off the bed and refused to touch them. How could she be so selfish? How had she been so caught up in herself to see only the half truth of danger.

She must have known. Circi could see that look in her eyes as the train left the station. It wasn't a 'see you soon' goodbye, there was permanence in it as if she knew that might be the end. The weight of it all settled on her shoulders and Circi rocked forward, bit her knee and screamed in frustration.

She screamed until her throat was sore and her nails broke the skin of her palms. She screamed when Lucius and Narcissa barged into the room. She didn't pull away as Narcissa climbed onto the bed next to her and held her tightly, rocking her as Lucius stood by the door in shock. She wasn't being attacked, as they had feared, but this was something new and Lucius could barely comprehend how to approach the situation.

Narcissa hushed Circi, encircling the girl in her arms and letting her cry into her dress.

As she resorted to cry, her sobs sounding distorted as they raked her hoarse throat, Draco tentatively stepped into the room. He took a double-take when he saw his mother and sister sitting together, he looked up at Lucius whose face was pulled tight with concern and confusion, then approached the bed and sat on the other side of Circi.

The second his hand touched her arm, she broke away from Narcissa and curled into him. He held her as Narcissa cast a spell on her shirt to remove the wet patches while the tears soaked into his shirt.

"They're gonna kill her," Circi muttered against his chest, squeezing her eyes tight.

Draco wrapped his arms tighter around her, pulling her closer as he looked at his parents with wide, terrified eyes.

"They won't," he told her, deciding he didn't need to know anything else.

She was breathing heavily, tired out from the screaming, and Draco leaned back so that they could lie down. Narcissa positioned the pillows behind them so that Circi immediately fell into them.

Craning her head around, Circi caught Lucius' eye, "Mica Crane," She said, "Gryffindor. Can you ask Professor Snape? Please."

He nodded slightly, a minute action but it was his eyes which promised her he would as she turned her face against Draco's shirt again. Narcissa ran a hand through her hair as she left the room, tugging Lucius with her, while Circi could feel exhaustion taking over her.

*

Headmaster Snape had not responded to Lucius in the final few days that remained of the holidays and each day that led closer to returning to Hogwarts the Manor grew larger and larger.

Circi had started joining her family at dinner since Bellatrix had left to see to other dastardly tasks elsewhere, but she said very little. Whenever she walked the corridors they felt as though they were constricting on her, trying to squeeze her out despite the end seeming further and further away than it had been the day before. She was starting to feel as though she had been tossed into the maze at the Triwizard tournament which had killed Cedric Diggory.

She was grateful to be packed in among the muggles in King's Cross station, and more so when she passed through the wall between platforms 9 and 10 to reach platform 9 and ¾. Of course, she had no friends on this platform, they were all somewhere at Hogwarts and Draco had remained at home.

The sigh of relief that escaped her as she passed through the doors to the Great Hall was much more genuine than she thought was possible. Despite being marched into the castle, guarded by masked witches and wizards in black cloaks, among the other students who had been forced into formation and silenced.

Sure, Snape was still at the head of the hall, the Carrows were still seated among the Professors, but she was swept up into a hug the second Rhiannon saw her. And she swept Leslie into a hug when she sat beside him. But her relief was short-lived as she looked over to see the Gryffindor table much more barren than the other houses.

Her face fell as she scanned the bench once, twice, and a final third time to confirm that Mica was not present.

Slumping down in her seat, she met Leslie's sad face.

"Where is she?" She asked, watching as his face remained the exact same while he shrugged.

"She disappeared not long after you went home."

"What?" It was as if her entire body deflated when she looked back at the empty bench spot where Mica would usually catch her eye. The air left her lungs and, before she could question him anymore, Snape stood to offer a speech.

He wasn't the most talkative of men, he also didn't offer metaphors like Dumbledore, and he definitely did not offer any comfort. Once again, he reminded the returning students of the curfew and new rules established since the holidays. He acknowledged that students were missing and vowed to find them, urging everyone to encourage their friends to reintegrate with the school over the next few days, else risk punishment.

At the mention of a punishment, the Carrows looked at each other with identical grins. Alecto caught Circi's eye, her hair as sleek as ever, eyes dark as her smirk grew.

The pit in her stomach would not go away, even when Leslie grabbed her hand to stop her from bouncing her legs so violently under the table. Snape began the feast, informing the students they were to return to their dorms as soon as they were finished eating and not to linger in the corridors.

Everyone looked at the food on the benches, far too much for the students who had shown up. Circi could barely stomach a handful of chips before she realised her friends were hardly eating either. They all agreed to leave, the benches scraping on the floor and turning heads as everyone else was either having silent conversations or trying to eat quickly. Ducking her head as they left, Circi jogged to walk alongside Myrna.

"In your letter," Circi said, "you said 'we're okay.' You weren't talking about Mica."

Myrna looked at her out of the corner of her eye.

"I was. I didn't realise she was missing then. We didn't have class and I rarely saw her without you," nudging Circi with her shoulder, Myrna tried to offer a supportive smile, "she's alright, I'm sure."

"Yeah!" Rhiannon skipped forward and broke between the two, hooking their arms together, "a bunch of the older students disappeared at the same time, Leslie couldn't find out where they're going because, yaknow... we're Slytherin." She dropped her arms and they all paused to let Leslie walk among them. "Everyone knows Slytherin is the evil house."

Circi looked at Rhiannon, a few inches shorter than her, her olive skin and light brown hair directly copied from her Spanish mother. She had a slight Welsh accent whenever she spoke, but dropped whenever she became overwhelmed with emotion and slipped into Spanish- her second language of four. The girl had always been soft-spoken, but, as she grew her voice sounded sweeter. Where Circi and Myrna's voice had deepened, Rhiannon's had risen in pitch and made her sound younger than she was.

And, while everyone knew she turned sixteen a week ago, the girls in their dorm treated her as though she was their little sister.

"You're not evil, Rhi," Circi told her, glancing over her shoulder as her friend smiled softly.

"Try convincing a religious person that there is no God," Rhiannon countered, to which Myrna couldn't help but laugh.

"Yeah," Myrna said, chuckling to herself, "tried that on my parents once. All they did was ground me." Rhiannon laughed along with her as Circi pursed her lips and continued walking. She'd never quite understood muggle religions, or why Myrna's pureblood parents engaged with it, but she often dismissed it as an 'Irish thing' and let it pass.

In the common room, Circi and Leslie took a seat in the two armchairs in a reading nook in the corner while Myrna and Rhiannon went up to their dorm.

"Word of advice," Leslie said softly as students began trickling in through the door, "keep your head down this term. The Carrows are out for blood and will interrogate anyone they think is hiding the older students... and you're the closest here to someone who is not only missing but directly connected to Harry Potter."

"Harry Potter?" Circi's eyebrows lowered at the name and she glanced around to make sure no one was listening.

"He was captain of the Gryffindor quidditch team, remember? Mica's the beater."

"Oh," of course, that hadn't occurred to her either. "Do you think she's with the older students?"

"I hope so. There's no way to be sure, Circi, so it's best to just keep our heads down and wait this out." Searching his face for any fight, Circi saw the emotion she was fighting during her every breathing moment. "You're scared."

His laugh was more breath than sound and he shook his head.

"And you're not? Circ, any of these students could be working for He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. Any of them could decide they're tired of waiting for him to come into power and become judges themself. Yes, I'm scared, I could be sleeping in the same room as someone who wants to kill me." His eyes seemed to be shivering, his green eyes swimming in tears behind his glasses. "Can you tell me you're not scared shitless?"

"Of course I am, Les, but if my father has taught me anything it's that I don't- I can't- be like him."

Leslie searched her face for any of the fear he felt but slowly realised that she'd seen enough, felt enough of it to know not to let the little things take control of her. And, he realised, he was jealous.

"Okay," he nods, "okay. Just don't do anything stupid without telling me- I can't lose you too."