Why is it so hard to understand me?

I walk down the halls alone where once I remember laughing

I remember the feeling of life as I dragged my hands over the leaves in spring and I closed my eyes and dreamed

I fell asleep at the thought of the touch of a lovers, and the cold wind hit my face

What happend?

Why is everything so dark all of a sudden

Looking to doors to be in isolation and closing the blinds because the sun is now cold and not warming

It is hard to believe I was so clean and now My arms are covered from self harming

I am fine, I don't need you, I can handle myself I put my walls so high that no once would be able to get through 

Because my whole is just the sounds of a battlefield that I put at the back of my mind

Scars, scars will never heal the deep wounds in my chest that make it impossible for me to be able to feel