third person pov

' feels like we're a world away
but we're in the same room '

Snow had finally fallen into a soft blanket over the grounds of Hogwarts. Seasons changing and the air becoming so brisk only few dared to linger out in the main courtyard that provided a view of the Quidditch Pitch goalposts. During the warm weather months students would gather all around in this particular courtyard since it was the biggest. Laying on the freshly cut grass, gathered around willow trees, sat at the few and far stone picnic tables, playing card games or riding brooms until a professor would come fuss. Always a place filled with laughter and different sorts of friends.

Now though, Rose could only see a few students walking atop the snowy ground as the winter sun blazed in a form of pale yellow. She sat at one of the stone tables, a flush creeping up her neck while attempting to adjust the fur lined leather coat. Then, taking to adjusting her crocheted top. Adjusting the long cotton skirt dyed in shades of black and gray. Looking down to shake off the snow covering her docs. Doing anything and everything to distract herself.

"There you are" Came the husky voice of Blaise Zabini. Rose snapped her eyes up and across the table to see him standing in a long, plaid coat. He offers an easy going smile and fixes the collar of his white button down. "I can spot that head of black hair anywhere"

"Hm," Rose murmurs quietly as Blaise takes a seat directly in front of her. Beginning to tap her leather covered fingers on the table with a mutter, "The blinding snow probably makes it easier."

Blaise laughs quietly and laces his fingers together atop the stone, gold banded rings catching light. There's an unusually awkward silence floating between them as Rose stares at her own hands and Blaise takes a deep breath.

"How was the required therapy this morning?"

"It was okay." She shrugs slightly, "Why did you want to skip lunch and meet out here?"

"Do you remember when we were ten and you found me crying in my mother's closet?" He questions randomly, voice calm as ever. Waiting until Rose looks up to continue on, "Salazar Rose, I was so upset that day."

"Your third step-dad," She remarked in slight shock, the day coming back to her in explicit detail. "He got mad at you for holding hands with Draco's cousin. It was all innocent, really, but he blew up about over the whole thing..."

"Oh Henry..." Blaise sighs in fake remorse, "Mother really knows how to pick them, doesn't she?"

Rose smiled wryly, "Well...she did kill him the next day if that's any consolation?"

Blaise laughs almost as dry as Rose had smiled, head shaking and chestnut eyes fluttering shut. His laced fingers flex first, "I didn't quite comprehend it then, all I knew was I felt different than everybody else and guilty—really fucking guilty."

"Blaise—"

"I'm comfortable with who I am now, I don't need reassurance." He halts her before she can even begin, giving a confident nod. "But back then I was a ten year old, confused out of my mind because I wasn't looking at some boy like my brother but suddenly wanting to give him those stupid little valentine cards you made."

"Those cards so were ugly," She replies, eyes glassing over from how much emotion any mention of childhood brings to the surface. "I couldn't manage to cut them out properly to save my own life"

Blaise reaches up to cover his face for a moment, a wide smile peaking back out. "Gods—they were horrendous...you kept making hearts look like bloody balloons"

She gasps before laughing breathily, not bothering to wipe away the stray tear that slips out because there's too much honestly already to try hiding anything.

"My point is you made me feel safe, you seemed almost confused on what the problem was until I explained why my stepdad thought I was behaving badly.." Blaise recalls the memory bitterly, lips twisting into a frown. "But then you took my hand and pressed it against your chest and I thought, man Rose is about to say something crazy again, except you didn't."

Rose doesn't dare to respond, wanting him to have the privilege of completely getting his point across and it wasn't like she could anyways, her voice would surely break if she spoke.

"You told me a heart is heart and who cares whether or not it's inside a boy or girl," Blaise said surely, losing each bit of sourness on his face. "It was childish way of wording such but the point was perfect...didn't know you were going to change the trajectory of my life at ten years old" He huffs out another laugh after.

She stays silent as ever.

"Life was good and bad all at once," He remarks, looking up the hazy sky. "Whit had been going through transformations for a year and gods, his family abused him like a caged animal. Theo's mother had just passed and his dad started using those cruel lashings. Draco's father was being Draco's father as usual and you...," He trails off with a shake of his head, not daring to cross into that territory right now. "Broken and flawed but just kids, kids who were genuinely happy together. I don't think anyone can ever understand how much we all love each other. It's real and it's a family."

"That wasn't all you cried about," says Rose quietly, a vague look of heaviness inside her gaze as she shifts uncomfortably. "You...you told me that it felt like there was all this weight on your chest,"

"And you told me to give it you, that you'd help me carry it. You said I didn't have to lift it all up on my own. It was what I always would hear you say to Theo..." Blaise interrupted. His fingers interlace once more as she averts her eyes to the side with a shaky inhale. "Everyday after, when I wanted someone that I could go to with no judgement, someone that wouldn't push me to fix things, someone to just be by my side in understanding—I went to you—I went to you every single time."

Frustratedly, she wiped another crestfallen tear away with a leather gloved hand. Blaise doesn't push her. Waiting quietly as Rose shifts and shifts around.

Eventually she clasps her fingers together like he's doing and looks up, "What's the point of this, Blaise?"

"You're carry a weight right now. It's not Walburga, Orion, or Sirius...you're carrying a weight that you think you can't tell anyone," His voice comes out strong and powerful, reaching over to cover both her hands with one of his own. "I'm here to say that you don't have to do this on your own. I won't offer you advice I know you won't take or try to fix things for you, only stand by your side."

He pauses to squeeze her fingers tightly, voice so sincere it makes makes Rose's eyes sting as she tries to hold back tears. "Give it to me, unload everything onto me and I'll help you carry whatever it is that's pressing down upon you..." Blaise halts, "I have a pretty good guess on who it has to deal with...even the second year girls have been whispering about you and Theo."

Her voice breaks as she finally speaks, "The second years are gossiping about us?"

Blaise nods slightly and despite everything in her screaming to not tell him the truth, she has to give in because he's right. Everything is getting too heavy for her to carry.

"Theo's father he, um, he sent me a letter," Rose mumbled, tearing her hands free from Blaise. "Forbidding me from being with him. Not only that but threatened to gravely injure Theo if I didn't also create some distance from him even in a friend way."

As if he had just heard the biggest reveal of a century, Blaise sucks in a rush of air. "But you're a pureblood? You haven't done anything wrong as far as he knows."

"That doesn't matter, Blaise. There's a million other purebloods in the world, fuck, even a million more just here in England. The scared twenty-eight is just one aristocratic society formed by a certain group of people." says Rose, swallowing a lump in her throat as she begins to explain everything. "There's other pureblood groups here in England as well. Ours is just not a secret and it's something the media is obsessed with popularizing...you know all of this."

"Rose—"

"Pureblood's are not a dying breed, I don't know why people spread that narrative because all they know of is the sacred twenty-eight..."

"Rose!" He calls her name harshly, "Stop trying to avoid the real conversation."

"I'm not." Rose shrugs slightly and looks off to the Quidditch pitch rings standing high in the sky. A slight rumble in her voice, "It wouldn't matter if I was the purest of purebloods. I mean, I'm quite literally the richest living heir in England, you can't count the other's because they are next in line to their fortunes—I've already inherited everything..."

Blaise has heartache overcome him as he watches her face contort in a semblance of pain. Rose drags her eyes back to Blaise before speaking again, "Nothing will ever change the fact I've been condemned to be the woman people love behind closed doors, the forbidden one. Just a nutcase who belongs in loony bin, bound to ruin everything in others eyes."

This time when Blaise reaches for Rose's hand, the girl doesn't flinch away. "Before I even respond to all the lies you just spoke...haven't you realized we could just get rid of his father? I'd help you, with anything at all."

"No. I've already thought about that." Rose brings Blaise's hand into a fist and tucks her chin atop their joined fingers, an old habit that makes him smile sadly. "I don't know if Theo would be okay without his father and it's not my decision to make. It's not like he's wrong either....he found out some stuff that truly does make me an awful match for anyone. You know me, I normally wouldn't let anything keep my Theo away but the letter was true."

"You know why those second years were gossiping about you two? Because, even just witnessing you and him together is an experience in itself." Blaise speaks softly, no edges in his tone as he brings a free hand to cover the one Rose is clutching beneath her own chin. "There's no way to confuse that for platonic love. It's real romantic passion anyone can spot from a mile away. Two people falling in love over and over again every time they lock eyes....I won't let you sit here and act like there's a world where you don't end up with him because that's a world I cannot accept."

"Listen—"

"No! You need to understand how much of a rarity the love you two share is. It's even a rarity to witness. I mean, I watched it my whole life!" Blaise nods furiously, "What is it you used to say to me? That it didn't matter if you had to kick, scratch, and even murder your way to a happy ending—you were getting one. So, don't give up just because some bastard is trying to make you believe you're unworthy. Theo's the lucky one, not you and his shit father needs see that."

Rose's tries to stay tense but fails miserably, her bottom lip trembling as two strands of tears come down. In a flash she hears Walburga's voice condemning her for daring to be so weak. It makes her yank her hands free from Blaise, angrily wiping the tears away.

"I need you to realize just because you have issues doesn't mean you're a burden or that there's someone better. Any stupid man who gets you needs to sink to his knees and thank Merlin everyday because he's the one who won." He changes his tone back to calmer range, "You don't have to be perfect to be loved, that will never be the case."

Friendship is a complicated thing, especially the ones made while young, the ones that last. While shakily sighing, Rose looks over to the snowy grounds once more, tucking a loose wave behind her ear with the cold air beating against every inch of exposed skin. It's crazy almost, to think how the ones closest to us hold so much power in their hands. Carrying the ability to see through our lies, able to either wreck us to ruins or build us back up.

"I don't want you telling Theo." Rose muttered without letting her eyes leave the snow, "I know—know you think he would kill his father and maybe he would but I refuse to let him traumatize himself for me..."

"I won't tell Theo anything then." Blaise simply promises.

She nods full of hope and looks to him with bloodshot eyes. The pure sadness across Blaise's face makes her stomach turn in painful knots, motion sickness bubbling up like a tidal wave.

Rose leans both elbows onto table, clutching at her head as she gives in to the idea crying and ignores Walburga's commands inside her mind. "It's so so fucked up..." She trails off, sniffling without her face showing as a droplet of water splashes against the stone. "I feel like I'm drowning without Theo—"

Her words are cut short from Blaise circling the table and dropping down beside her, arms instantly forcing Rose into his chest. "I know," says Blaise, resting his chin on her head as his hand moves down her back. "I know."

About an hour later, when Rose and Blaise had spent all of lunch outside at that picnic table together, she was peaking out of a window from the empty classroom before rushing back to sit on the wooden benches with the boys, sat in front of the group with Mattheo to her left. Today would be a dance lesson with all fourth year Slytherin's and up for the coming Yule Ball. Meaning the middle of the large classroom stayed empty while opposite walls held benches full of kids.

Another flush crept up Rose's neck as she attempted to ignore Theo's body heat behind her. Forcing Rose to rip the leather jacket off, body temperature rising too quickly for comfort.

Theo bent forward, bored out of his mind from waiting for Snape. He placed a gentle hand on her shoulder, raising both brows as she jumped and whirled around to face him.

Rose took a shaky inhale as everything turned into a slow motion film, her eyes clashing with Theo's. His knee pressing into her back from moving. Whitman shared a look with Draco as he stayed sitting next to Theo, both equally communicating how much of a clear mess Rose and Theo were for everyone to see. Neither capable of doing anything than staring at each other with parted lips, Rose's breath hitching loudly as he pressed in on her shoulder.

Rose didn't mean for it to happen but her voice came out in a whisper, "What?"

Theo leaves his hand in place as the other goes to reach for the cut-out metal star clipped in the dark waves she always hated because it was inherited from her father and grandmother. The right corner of his lips pull up as he traces the shape, "Una stella come te"

She quietly choked on air at the phrase coming off his tongue in Italian. Oh how she missed his ability to speak too many languages for her to count. Rose's mouth opens with no ability to formulate a reply and Theo's face only gets softer as his fingers leave the star. Hooking a thumb under her chin, pushing up to close her mouth. He winks after and watches as her throat bobs, just for a minute pretending everything was normal.

"What the fuck did he just say?" Whitman questions to the air, brows pinching together in confusion.

"It was Italian" Draco mutters distantly.

"Oh," says Whitman, still appearing focused. "Personally, I've been gravitating toward Russian, think it's making all the other languages confusing for me."

Blaise rolls his eyes and tosses an arm over Mattheo's shoulders that earn a glare in response. It didn't phase Blaise though, his thumb pointing toward the group taking up two rows of the benches. "That there, is the most pretentious group of cunts you'll ever meet"

Whitman starts to protest the idea because Blaise is in fact one of the most pretentious people on the planet but Draco cannot hear a word being exchanged as the two boys fight and Mattheo listens in amusement.

No, Draco is too focused on how Rose has to close her eyes as Theo's hand leaves her
shoulder. Seeming to be in so much agony as she forces herself to face ahead. Back moving in sync with her deep breath's. It's not fair. Draco doesn't care how stupid or childish he sounds, none of this could possibly be considered fair. Here Rose is, in ruins over Theo but appearing as if Draco isn't even crossing her mind.

It doesn't make sense to Draco. He thought they shared the same pain from their torturous rollcoaster and undoubtedly assumed she would be just as distraught as he is to lose each other all over again. But she's not, Rose is perfectly fine and he's sitting there with arms crossed, knives jabbing at each inch of his heart—anything other than okay. It's not fair, he repeats in his head once more. It doesn't seem right either to think they only just begun before tossing everything away, shoving their entire story underground. Burying something that never even came close to dying out.

"Rose! Are your even listening?" Blaise calls loudly, arm slipping off Mattheo to tap on her knee. Draco's attention is snapped away as he watches Rose come back to earth at the same time he does. Her head turning to the left,

"Yes?"

"What do you think?" Blaise speaks in a voice that promises mischief, a wicked smirk that fits his face too well popping out. "Do women go after men like their fathers?"

A dry, unsuspected laugh leaves her lips. "Freud would have a field day with you saying that, Blaise. Why are you two even discussing this?"

"Blaise got bored, that's why." Mattheo adds on carelessly, "I do feel like women go after that type subconsciously though, don't you?"

"Are you kidding me?" Rose scoffs in the utmost offensive, fully turning on the bench to face him. "The only father figure I ever had was Orion and I can promise you, I search for anything other than people like him."

Mattheo raises her a smirk, "And what exactly do you search for?"

"Protection? Comfort? Emotional availability?" Rose shrugs, laughing after with Blaise joining in on the sound. Everyone seems to think the conversation is over but then Mattheo furrows his brows together and asks who Freud is. Rose has to groan because she knows there is no way the three boys behind her weren't adorning sudden smirks at his lack of knowledge on the matter.

"A tosser," She answers quickly. Placing a hand on his arm, "He had a lot to do with modern muggle philosophy but isn't a philosopher. Trust me, you don't need to know who he is."

She begs whatever is high above to prevent Mattheo from asking any more questions but his mouth opens before she can stop him.

"I didn't know you were into philosophy?"

Theo looks away to speak in that rare, menacing tone which always sends every hair on her arms up and each muscle in her body to a tense state. "She loves it. Not Freud of course, because once again, he's not a philosopher."

"Hm." Mattheo hums, eyes rolling at Theo's wayward tone. "I've only read about Aristotle but that was forever ago—never really cared for muggle philosophy"

Rose turns in her seat to face the cleared out floor, hoping to avoid getting involved between the two men. Muttering, "Oh no..." Under her breath in preparation for what was coming.

"Excuse me?" Theo huffs out a dry laugh, head tilting down at Mattheo. "The most misogynistic philosopher to date? Great stuff, Riddle, truly."

"Not everyone gives a shit about philosophy, Nott." Mattheo replied boredly. Blaise starts to talk again but cannot prevent himself from noticing how Mattheo coughs slightly. This sends Blaise's eyes discreetly up the bench to Theo who's smirking at the slow deterioration of the Riddle's health.

With eyes still fixated on the floor Rose stays sitting tense. Even more so when Theo leans forward, trapping her shoulders with his knees before bringing his head down to whisper against her ear.

"What a shame, love. Had to pick someone whom you share no common interest with?"

As if in a pool of rebellion, Rose lifts her chin up but refuses to look over at Theo. "We share common interests, thank you very much."

"Really now?" His voice is like a deep, haunted melody in her mind. Undoubtedly cocky too, purposely grazing his ring-clad fingers over her shoulders. "Indulge me, what interest do you two share?"

Rose tries to think of something, anything to make Theo shut down. Nothing comes to mind quick enough and Theo knows her too well to not see how her usually sharp mind is blank. Something competitive stirs inside her gut and she settles on snapping her head up to him, accidentally causing extreme proximity.

"People can have seperate interests...For example, I despise your obsession with Herbology!"

If she thinks for even one second he's letting this go, then Rose has truly lost it. The sudden attitude only makes Theo's smirk grow, ignoring Rose's comment and deciding to be relentless as his eyes scan her furious glare.

"Does he even know your true passion? Anything about alchemy at all?" Theo murmured, smirk twisting as her eye twitches, "Say...I wonder what he'd think about how much you like painting my skin with blood for your little rituals?"

"I despite many things about you!" She turns around enough in his trapping knees to grab onto his thigh. Whispering harshly so no one else hears, "I hate your stupid hair. I hate your need to wiggle the bathroom doorknob twice before opening it. New flash, no one's in there you idiot! I hate that you hum every second that you have to do a strenuous task. I hate that your eyes look like a stupid, stupid zombie. Ever heard of drinking a coffee?!"

A full, shiny smile breaks out Theo's face, dipping his head down to get incredibly closer. "Oh keep going, I'm loving this."

Her eyes budge as if she's about to snap, nails beginning to dig into his thigh. Keeping her whispers just as harsh, "Oh I will! I hate those stupid little inventions your obsessed with making. I hate that you don't care about being at the top of the class when you're so annoyingly smart. I hate that you insist on smiling when I'm angry—"

"Is that all?" Theo interrupts cockily, gliding his warm hand down and covering her own. "Because truthfully, you're just naming everything you love about me and I'd really enjoy if you kept going. We haven't even got to the big stuff yet, have we, darling?"

The sound of Mattheo talking to Blaise and Whitman laughing about something with Draco fills her ears but she's not paying attention to that. Not at all, Rose is focused on the devilish smirk Theo wears.

She yanks her hand away to smack at his own, "You are frustrating!"

Theo cocks his head to the left, reaching out to rub his thumb down her cheek—getting swatted at instantly. "And you are so very beautiful like this"

Her jaw twitches and breath stops for a moment. Despite this Rose whispers again but it's hoarse instead of harsh, "I hate you."

He whistles lowly, putting a hand over his heart with pained bat of his eyelashes. "You wound me, Princess."

Before she can react or actually lose it, the grand doors of the classroom slam shut. Snape waltzes through the two benches, a classic black cloak billowing behind and an elf rolling in a table holding a large record player. Rose turns to the front with a dramatic huff of air and a slight twinge of pink across her cheeks, something Theo takes note of as she sits up from his knees. Undoubtedly, Theo is still in the other world they created for a moment where everything is normal, letting out a deep laugh behind her.

But then the room falls silent and he watches as Mattheo reaches over to wrap an arm around Rose's waist. His gut sinks to the floor, brought back to reality in an instant. Maybe he's a raging psychopath or maybe he's just angry, but one thing Theo knows for sure as he stares at the hand rubbing onto her hip as Snape starts to speak—there has never been a day where he wanted to murder someone more than right now.

The annual Yule ball during the Triwizard tournament is a tradition every student knew was coming upon the announcement of the tournament but never had a official meeting about such until now. Snape drones on and on in a usual monotone voice about the ball and what it means, occasionally flipping the tail of his cloak as he turns to assure everyone is listening. Theo isn't though. He staring at Mattheo's hand still, watching how it moves in circles with Rose slowly relaxing more and more.

And every time she relaxes, Theo's jaw ticks. His hands wring together. Shoulders tensely roll back. Never, ever do his eyes leave the hand.

It gets to the point that Whitman has to look over in concern before following Theo's gaze. Worry consumes the Rosier, not because Theo appears angry. But because there's always been these rare moment where Theo truly snaps, moments that Whitman can spot from a mile away and as he watches his best friend become consumed with agitation he thinks this is it—the gentle graze of a hand is going to be the reason Theo lands himself behind bars for eternity.

They could cover up a murder in private, not one with hundred of witnesses.

A saving grace comes in the form of Snape ceasing his speech and turning on the record player, the room suddenly booming with old jazz tunes. A large amount of the Slytherin students rush down to dance, but not everyone since the professor gave the option to participate. Rose jerks out of Mattheo's hold to turn around and look at the three boys behind herself, making Theo and Whitman both let out a breath's of relief. Whitman doing so for the simple fact he no longer had to worry about Theo losing his mind.

"Who are you three going with?" Rose questions, the benches shaking slightly as more students head down to dance. "Just curious, of course." She quickly adds on. It's clear Rose wishes to not look at Theo or Draco as her eyes stay trained upon Whitman.

"Dates, you mean?" Whitman asked goofily to elevate the mood. He throws his arms around both boys with a pompous laugh, "We're going stag"

"Oi!" Blaise chirps up at them, "Don't forget about me! We all agreed to not take dates!"

Mattheo looks over at Blaise confusedly, "What about Fred?"

Something switched on Blaise's face, a frown forming. "His stupid mother would have a fit if we went together and it's not like we've even kissed more than once," Blaise bites out annoyedly, taking a long pause until he can manage to smile again. "Doesn't matter, us four going stag together is true bromance."

Draco visibly grimaced, "Bromance?" He shudders at the word. "No, more like we'll have more fun without some random hanging onto us all night."

"They're a little obsessed with each other, huh?" Mattheo nudges a narrow eyed Rose who appears to be anywhere else except the classroom. His humors drops as he notices her scrutinizing gaze training on Theo, an intense stare down happening that makes him feel like an outsider to her life.

"What?" Whitman blurts out confusedly, looking up the ceiling for answers. "Aren't all friends supposed to be obsessed with each other? Did we get the wrong rule book?"

Draco rolls his eyes, sounding more annoyed than ever. "Obviously"

"Blaise," Rose calls out randomly, dragging her eyes away from Theo and onto the boy in question. He sits with a returning frown, a certain ginger clouding his mind. Just as Blaise is always there for her, she understands it's time to return the favor. Honestly, a distraction would be nice for the both of them. "Come sit with me, we can rate the dancing...you know it'll be fun"

Blaise perks up from beside Mattheo. Rising off the bench to plop by her feet. Grateful as she yanks his shoulders back and forces him to lean onto her legs. Rose smiles, genuinely smiles before pressing a kiss atop the buzzed hair and wrapping her arms around his neck.

She hovers downward, Blaise looking over with glassy eyes because it hurts to think he might never actual cross the line of friendship with Fred because of Molly Weasley. "Let me see those pearly whites," Rose whispers with a teasing voice.

Blaise flashed her a pained smile that she returns with a firm nod, close to pressing her cheek against his after, pointing a finger out onto the crowd of dancing students.

"You see Millicent?"

"Mhm," Blaise hums quietly.

"That's Terrance she's dancing with," Rose informs excitedly, "Millicent told me he's been trying to get with her for ages and they made it official last week"

"Too bad he's a shit dancer" Blaise blurts out and sends Rose to shaking him from how much she laughs. "I mean really, he's stepping on her feet and everything..." He grimaces as if on cue, Terrance stumbles.

"I know, it's awful!" Rose giggles by his ear and points to the left side of the crowd, "And you remember Tracy Davis?! Apparently she wants to go with Mcdoul but get this—he's upset because she's been sleeping with his roommate! And, and his roommate is in love with her!"

Blaise sharply turns his face to Rose, lips parting at all the gossip she's managed to accumulate in a days time. "What a scandal..."

Rose nods happily, "A scandal indeed!" She tips her head back with the utmost dramatic flair, "So much so I'm scandalized from knowing!"

Just like that Blaise is falling into a fit of laughter and reaches up to clutch on Rose's arms around his neck, laughing so much he doesn't even realizes to have forgotten about Fred. There comes a moment though, when they both stop laughing and Rose goes to point out another person, that Blaise simply quits listening to look over at her with a smile as she rambles quicker than humanly possible. Thankful is the only word to describe how he feels right then, to be in the presence of someone who can make you forget about your problems. It's almost a breath of fresh air to see her being herself again, even if it is only for a moment. He had to assume the weekly therapy was slowly giving her some sort of healing, of course it wouldn't be over night but it was a start—a really good start to getting their happy girl back.

*

"Sorry it took so long...I know you wanted hangout tonight" Mattheo announces upon walking into his dimly lit dorm, closing the door quietly. His movements halt upon seeing Rose sat cross-legged on the bed, silky robe hanging off her shoulders as she studies a spread of books in front of herself. "Ah," He remarks, crossing over to lean on one of the bed poles. "Found my secret stash?"

"Why would you care to learn about this stuff if we're broke up?" She mumbles confusedly before lifting her head to smile at him with dark, wet eyelashes.

The question seems to make him uncomfortable because he crosses his arms, the fabric of the Henley tightening as he does so. She takes note of how his jaw clenches, forcing himself to look away before replying. "I care about you and I should've realized something was off...I wanted to learn about your disorder so I could be there properly."

"That's, um," Rose huffs out a sad laugh, smiling almost too lovingly for him to bear. "Gods, Riddle—you made me cry earlier."

"Look," Mattheo begins, focusing back onto her but keeping his body against the bed frame. "I don't think we should even count what we had before as relationship...you weren't yourself and I knew that deep down,"

"Mattheo—"

"No, just listen to me because this isn't easy to say." He breathes out heavily, waiting until she gives a nod to continue on. "I think I had been so desperate for you to openly want me, to even just want me, that when you clung onto me I couldn't resist..." Mattheo trails off, pushing a hand through this kinky curls. "We spent a year getting to know each other and that was real. Now we rushed into something, doing it all wrong and throwing everything else out of the window."

Her voice came out small, "It was real."

"I want to be with you, in the right way but—" Mattheo stops abruptly, shoulders rolling back. He pushes off the bed frame and drops down on the edge of the bed tiredly. "I just need to know something first."

"Yes?"

"Do you love him?" He asks quietly, arms draping over his thighs. "We can move past it if you do but I have to know. It won't change how I feel about you, I swear, nothing could."

"Who?" Rose has to question because there are two options he could be speaking of but she truly doubts it's Draco. Their love was often masked to the public eye, buried underneath heated arguments and sneering glares.

"Theo, obviously." Mattheo says the name like it carries a curse.

"Oh," She mumbled distantly before shaking her head to snap out of it. Gathering all the books and placing them to the side. The mattress dips as Rose sits up on her knees and moves to place her hands over Mattheo's tense shoulders, "That doesn't matter, does it? We might be broke up but I still lay in your bed every night."

He tips his chin up and looks back to her, "Rose,"

"Mattheo," She repeats in a sultry voice, carefully reaching to brush his cheek.

There's not a trace of amusement on Mattheo's face, "You're trying to manipulate your way out of this conversation."

"Manipulate?" Rose fakes confusion, lifting both of her eyebrows. "I don't know what that word means but it sounds like something men made up to villainize women..."

He can only manage a quick blink, "You wear my patience extremely thin"

A cruel smirk twists onto her cheeks.

"While I do adore your evil nature, I need you to talk seriously." Mattheo mutters, his head hanging forward once again.

Letting out the loudest sigh possible, Rose glides her nails down his tense back, "I do want to do this the right way because I think we really have a chance now that I'm getting back to myself and attempting that stupid fucking thing called therapy but," Her voice turns slightly aggressive at the end as she recalls being forced into weekly meeting, clearing her throat to stop the anger from coming out.

He sighs, "But what?"

"Can I take this off?," Rose asks, tugging at the hem of his shirt.

"Mhm"

She carefully glides the material off Mattheo's body. Sighing at the marks across his skin, watching as he tenses up under her palm. After, Rose presses her lips down on his shoulder, "But i was thinking how you know too much about me to not be able to name my favorite color..."

"What a dire situation," Mattheo teases lowly, reaching up to grab onto her arms as they wrap around his neck. "Tell me"

Her lips ghost over the shell of his ear, "I'm afraid I cannot do that, you see, it's a big secret."

Mattheo tilts his head to the side, their noses almost brushing while he shows the peak of a perfect smile. "That just won't do..."

"What—"

She yelps as he yanks her around and into his lap. Landing breathless with wide eyes, clinging to him worriedly from the quick movement.

"Tell me." Mattheo demands, wrapping an arm around her waist.

"Fine! Blue." Rose affirms sassily.

He almost laughs in shock, "Blue?"

"Not just any shade of blue obviously! I'm a very particular person!"

The edges of his soften subconsciously, "Do go on then"

"You been the beach before?" She asks, waiting until he nods to resume. Seemingly having to look away so the image comes clear in her mind, "Like the ocean but not when the suns out. No, the ocean when a storm is soon to come and the water appears deeper than ever, the gray sky illuminates everything just enough to see the different colors mix together..."

"Why is that?"

"Who knows?" She shrugs with a thick swallow of the lump in her throat, eyes latching onto his. "Kiss me now? I did just reveal my best kept secret..." Her words run off, flashing a forced grin.

"I'll kiss you anytime of the day"

*

Hours upon hours later the dorm became encased in darkness with an exception of slight moonlight reflecting into the deep blues of the black lake sloshing against each window. Rose had been sleeping peacefully on Mattheo's chest, jolting and pressing up off of him at the sound of loud banging on the dorm door.

She blinked to attempt adjusting to the darkness, grimacing as the banging continued. Then, looking down at Mattheo to find him still fully asleep. There was one thing Rose could not stand, being forced awake and she knew Mattheo could sleep through anything. Therefore, she had to get up.

In a mix of annoyed and confused she quickly got out of the bed, angrily tearing the covers off herself prior to sliding into some slippers, avoiding the chilly floor.

"I'm coming!" She snapped loudly, glancing over at the clock that showed it was four in the morning. If the banging didn't stop in the next ten seconds she would surely lose her mind. Rose yanked her robe off the edge of the bed, starting to put it on as she spoke and yanked the door open. "I swear if—"

She froze with her grip loosening on the doorknob, throat closing up at Draco and Theo standing there. The two boys eyes were equally heavy and bloodshot, scowls across their faces.

Rose casted a quick glance over her shoulder to assure Mattheo was still asleep before starting to close the door to where only her head peaked out, voice becoming a whisper. "You can't be here. Neither of you."

Theo on the other hand did nothing to lower his tone, "Yes we can!"

Her eyes grew as round as bowling ball, quickly stepping onto the stairwell and slamming the door shut. Blinking in shock as they barely stepped back to give her room. The smell of pure alcohol hit Rose's nose and caused her to frown, "You are both drunk! Go to bed!"

Draco grabbed onto her shoulder drunkenly, words slurring just as bad as Theo's had. "We need to talk to you, Rosie."

"No you don't!" Her head shook furiously, "You have no business showing up here drunk and making demands!"

Theo groaned and reached for her cheeks desperately, "Why are you sleeping in there?! You should be with me."

Draco scoffs in the most offended way possible, swatting Theo's hands off her face. "Or me—that's an option too!"

"What?!" Rose blurts out, stepping away so quickly her back hits the door. "No," Her head shakes again, "Why would you two even get this drunk then come to his dorm?! He could've woke up!"

"We were sad about you..." Draco mumbles. Suddenly smiling, "And we were sitting and talking about it as one does and then—do you know what Theo said?!"

Theo gives Rose an lazy smirk, reaching out once again to brush her cheek. "I said, what if we just showed up and made you leave? Made you come talk to us?" He laughs, "I'm a fucking genius!"

Her breath shakes from Theo's touch, forcing herself to pull his hand down unsteadily. "I—I can't do this..."

"We just want to talk baby," Theo slurs out, leaning onto the doorframe. "Please."

Rose trails her eyes over his towering frame trapping her to the door, "Okay," She murmurs.

Draco grinned, raising his hand up to Theo who meets him halfway. They high-five. They genuinely high-five and it makes Rose laugh unsuspectedly, covering her mouth in shock.

"Did you two just...high-five?"

Theo made a face between grimacing and smiling bashfully down at her, "Yeah...." He pushes a hair through his hair, "Wasn't very normal of us, was it?"

Her lips curls up because there's no way to prevent such, "Whose going first?" She asks firmly, crossing both arms. "It'll turn into a fight if you two trying talking at the same time"

Draco is quick to answer, "I'll go first!"

"No you won't," Theo spits out harshly, "I'll shove you down these stairs!"

"Why do you always get to go first?!" Draco spat.

"Me? Going first?" Theo scoffs in response. "Pretty sure that was you in more ways than one!"

Rose gasps at him hinting about her and Draco having sex, eyes beginning to dart between the boys as they go back and forth quickly.

"You're still mad about that?!"

"Yeah I am!"

"You go first in everything else!" Draco testifies. Mocking Rose in loud tone, "Oh Theo, my number! Oh Theo, where are you?! Oh Theo, is the best person ever!"

"Draco!" Rose warns in horror, trapped between the bodies.

"Keep on going!" Theo encourages, "You're just mad that I'm better than you..."

Draco gasped before shoving Theo backwards, "What makes you think that?! Huh?!"

"Stop, you drunken fools!" Rose whispers harshly, shoving them apart with her hands. Their drunk, tired eyes snap to her. "I'm going to give you five seconds to close your mouths or I'm going back in that dorm," When neither of them say anything she speaks again, "Understand me?! Because I will go lay in bed with him right now."

Their mouth's snap fully shut in an instant, eyes glaring at one another with lips twitching to continue yelling.

"Now," She takes a deep breath and resumes crossing her arms, chin lifting upward. "You are going to say what you wish right here in front of each other and make it quick before we wake up the entirety of Slytherin house. Draco, you first."

Theo grumbles, taking to fully lean on the doorframe.

"I just need to know why you're not upset," Draco mutters, the alcohol making him lose his usual defiance toward expressing emotion. "I mean," His words jumble together as she stares at him, "You are clearly so upset about not having Theo close by but not me...it just—I don't know."

"Theo!" Rose reprimands, feeling his smile without bothering to look away from Draco. With a long sigh Theo drops his grin and looks up to the ceiling. She doesn't try hiding the truth because it's doubtful either of them will remember tomorrow. Instead deciding on grabbing Draco's hand, "Look, I've had years of practice to act like us not being on good terms doesn't bother me."

Draco frowns deeply, "Is that...it?"

Against her better judgement, she intertwines their fingers. "Just because I'm not showing it doesn't mean it hurts any less, okay?"

He nods quickly, taking in a long breath of air to finally have some relief.

"Now, Theo—" Rose begins to call but shuts down as Theo flings his arms around her so tightly and suddenly she has to gasp for air.

"I just," Theo stutters over the words, burying his face against her head. "I just,"

"I know." says Rose, taking the chance to hug him as much as humanly possible because she truly does understand without needing him to say anything. The pain cuts through her like a freshly sharpened dagger, something she knows he feels and by the time they pull away his eyelashes are coated in water.

It would be impossible to say how long they stood in front of that door. All three going back and forth with small words. No type of pain was eased by the fact they were drunk, Rose feeling as if the two boys had it easier tonight than she. They had a numbing antidote in their systems, she didn't.

"Lay down!" Rose pleaded once arriving back in their shared dorm, laying propped up against the million of pillows on her bed. Draco stayed busy sitting by the edge, taking off his own shoes after refusing help. If she thought they were drunk before, the horrible stumbling down the staircase proved the boys to be beyond repair.

In a sloth-like state Theo messily slipped under the covers, cuddling into her side with a leg going between her own. Rose forced herself to close her eyes as she weaved fingers through his hair, relieved that Theo's heart was beating against her own.

The curtains rippled open, Whitman moving in groggily but halting at the sight of Theo and Draco who was lifting the comforter up to lay down.

"What...is happening?" Whitman slowly asked.

"Worry about your own life" Draco slurred defensively before throwing himself onto her other side, smiling as she let him lay on her chest.

And Rose laughed because she didn't know what else to do, sitting there with both of them on top of her. "I feel like a mother right now"

"You look like one—two drunken idiots came to get you and won I guess" Whitman comments in amusement and sits down by Theo's legs. He smiles for a long while until witnessing Rose purse her lips as a stray tear falls loose.

"Hey," Whitman whispered, grabbing her foot atop the comforter. "I'll stay awake with you, okay?"

Her voice breaks finally, head tipping backward and onto the wooden frame. "Okay."

_________________________________

A/N: omg why did everyone think because I said Whitman was experienced in the last chapter that he was better?! I WAS WEAK

—I know there was sweet Mattheo this time but it has a purpose I pinky

—just a filler chapter but necessary because there's a one shot next with the ball chapter right after and that's when we get a big confession....congrats on reading 330K+ words of slowburn before even getting a "I love you" you guys are all such reading queens

—i don't have much to say about this chapter except slay on Rose's part for manipulating her way out of denying being in love with Theo loll

—DID ANYONE UNDERSTAND WHY HER FAVORITE COLOR IS BLUE?

—missed u guys! i know some of you asked when I would update the MPG book but I swear soon! i just really want to focus on this and get through the next few chapters quickly so I can have Tom back (I KNOW HE WAS AWFUL BUT I MISS MY MAN, OKAY?!) you'll probably see really weird update times for the next two days because I'm going to be bored and sitting in the hospital while my sister has a baby?! sos

—ANYWAYS EVERYONE LAUGH WITH ME ABOUT THEO AND DRACO GETTING DRUNK

MEMES BECAUSE YEAH:

me when Rose and Blaise:

Whitman and Draco watching Rose and Theo be unable to even breath properly while looking at each other:

Me every time Theo makes petty comments to Mattheo:

Rose when Mattheo asked if she loved Theo:

Rose opening the door to see Theo and Draco:

Theo and Draco sitting in the dorm and making the stupidest game plan of all time:

Theo and Draco every time Rose yells at them:

Theo when Draco was rambling about how Rose is a wreck without him:

xx bri