"I would never regret that."

Jimin woke up with fast breathing. His body was drenched in sweat and his eyes burned from staring into the darkness without blinking.

He got up from the bed and immediately headed to the shower. His face was hot and blushed. Nightmares lately have been sweet, but deadly.

The loving moments he had spent with Yoongi always showed up in his dreams. That was worse than any nightmare. Waking up to knowing that it was over was fucking brutal.

He showered in cold water to drain his psyche from his nightmares. When he was out and drying his body was shivering uncontrollably.

After he got dressed, he headed out the door.  Chan had to catch up to him in the elevator. The ride in the elevator was short and quiet.

It wasn't until they were walking out that Chan started a conversation. "It's the first day of spring today." He announced a little too happy for Jimin's likings

"Oh really? Didn't really notice." He replied.

"Well, for one the snow is completely gone. The sun is out more. We don't really go outside anymore."

Jimin turned to glance out the glass door and squinted his eyes at the bright light. The sun was really out. Had he been so out of it that he hadn't noticed it?

"I see. Hey, do I really have to go to that doctor's appointment?"

"Unfortunately yes."

"I told Taehyung I'm fine."

"I have to do it." He whispered.

Jimin sighed, "Okay. I'm sorry. I don't mean to be so picky." He looked at him apologetically. He hated to be so hard on Chan when it wasn't his fault.

"No worries."

They entered the dining room and he sat down on the chair. Breakfast was ready. He had changed it from his usual.

His daily breakfast now consisted of oatmeal, grits and eggs. Bland like him. He began eating although food didn't really have much of a taste.

When he was half way done, he heard talking coming from outside the room. It was Chan and he was talking to Yoongi. Their voices were low.

Blind or deaf he would know Yoongi. He could literally feel his presence because when he came around his arm hair struck up saluting him. His heart leaped aggressively against his chest. 

Jimin fought the urge to look up. As he heard the footsteps vanish he smiled satisfied. At least he had been able to control himself from staring at him.

By the time he was done, it was time to head to his appointment with Jin. Taehyung had insisted on getting him checked. Something about "not looking right".

Jimin wondered whether he was trying to tell him that he was no longer attracted to him. Or maybe he did look rough.

His mood swung from denial, to anger, to happiness and then back to sadness. It was getting easier to deal with the heartbreak, but it was still pretty obvious that he was deeply troubled.

Looking up at the ceiling he started to feel nauseous. Doctors were never his thing. The first time he saw Jin he kept his cool because he was distracted by Yoongi.

Chan had stayed outside and it was only them two in the room. He had to lay back to stop the queasiness though his pulse kept speeding.

"How can I help you today?"

"I don't think you can."

"Well, I can certainly try."

"Hmm, can you...?" Erase Yoongi from my mind? My body? My soul?

"Can I do what?"

Jimin sighed, turning to face him, "Nevermind. Even if you wanted to, you can't. I'm not physically broken. I'm mentally broken. That's a thing only I can fix myself."

Jin pressed his lips into a line and looked at him a little embarrassed. "Very well then, have you thought about maybe letting it go?"

"As if it were that easy."

"Is it a problem with someone or yourself?"

"Both, but mainly the person who caused this."

Jin nodded, "But it was easy for them to break you. Why can't it be easy for you too?"

Jimin hummed, "I guess you're right."

"Maybe you just love too deeply."

Jimin raised his eyebrows, "Love too deeply? No. I'm shallow. All I've ever wanted is money. Do you know what I do? You do know right? A person who sells their body for money doesn't love deeply."

"So what if you are all of those things?"

"I think it's pretty self explanatory."

"You're still human."

Jimin sighed a little and looked back up at the ceiling. Human. It was so weird to hear someone call him that. He hadn't felt human aside from being with Yoongi.

He had always felt like object to satisfy people's needs.
Jin set the clipboard down and approached him with a sweet smile.

"Let me take your vitals and we can talk about it some more."

•••

A soft knock on the door made Jimin open his eyes. He had been laying in bed trying to nap. It helped him catch up with his sleep since most nights he couldn't.

The talk with Jin had gone surprisingly well. It seemed to get some of the weight off his chest. Although he was very vague with his story, it was comforting in a way.

He yawned and got up from the bed. Rubbing his eyes and suddenly cursing once he noticed he had put glitter on his eyes and now it was smeared everywhere.

Tonight he'd spend it with Taehyung which meant he had to look presentable. It wasn't until he opened the door that he flinched and stepped back.

Yoongi was standing there in flesh and bones. Looking absolutely gorgeous like usual. His hair was a little longer and parted through the middle.

Jimin quickly recomposed himself and crossed his arms over his chest. His moment of weakness weeks ago was long dead. Now there was resentment, lots of it."

"Where's Chan?"

"He will no longer take care of you. I'm resuming my duties as your guard."

Jimin's heart fluttered and he looked away before his face told him off. He was annoyed by the way his body blushed at the thought of seeing him daily again.

The thought of having him stand outside his room while he slept was comforting. Just knowing that he was there was enough.

"Hmm." Was all he could say. His brain couldn't even make out words. His tongue had forgotten his own language.

"Taehyung is—"

"I know." He snapped, turning back around and walking over to his bed.

Yoongi stood still and looked at him while he sat on the bed and reached under to grab his shoes. Until now he noticed that he was only wearing socks.

The jeans he wore were a light blue color with two rips at the knees. His shirt was a hot pink and unbuttoned low enough that the glimpse of his tattoo was visible.

His hair was extremely messy from one side, probably from laying down. He was putting on a pair of boots and his eyes scanned his hands.

He was wearing the thumb ring Taehyung had given him for Christmas. He didn't look away until Jimin was up from the bed approaching him.

The sweet scent of his body wash hit him as he walked ahead. Yoongi had to snap out of it and followed him behind to the elevator.

"Are you eating well? Why was that appointment made? Do you feel sick?" Yoongi asked once the door closed. He didn't mean to be so nosy, but he was because he cared.

When he heard about this appointment he couldn't help himself to come back. Not only was Sehun gone for a business which meant he wouldn't lurk, but he also needed to see him up close again.

Jimin kept quiet and stared at his reflection on the elevator door. His ears turned red and hot. "Why do you care? It's none of your business anyways."

Yoongi nodded. His behavior was justified. He deserved the anger that was being projected to him. After disappearing and abandoning him for three months he couldn't expect any less.

What Jimin didn't know was that the whole reason for this was to protect him. But staying away had been harder than he thought it would be.

"I just want to make sure you're ok—"

Before Yoongi could finish his sentence Jimin was out the door. He quickly rushed to grab his arm and pulled him back.

"You need to take care of yourself. Your health is important. You only have one body and you're being a little reckless right now." He lightly scolded.

Jimin looked down at his hand around his arm. Then slowly looked up at him. His eyebrows were furrowed and painted with a worried expression. The sudden leap of fear he felt in stomach was nauseating. He pulled away like he had been shocked.

"Stop looking at me that way. Don't pretend to care. It's easier when you don't."

Yoongi wanted to argue, but it wasn't the time or place. So he let go and nodded. He didn't want to be so contraindicating. A part of him was still telling him to stay away. The other part just couldn't.

It was safe to say the other part won. Though he was back at his guarding place that didn't mean he could come back and pick up where they left.

Jimin was hurt and for a damn good reason. He needed to heal and maybe if he would've stayed away completely he would've. It was simply too late to change plans.

If he told Chan to guard Jimin again Taehyung would only suspect. That would put Jimin in further danger.
As soon as they arrived at Taehyung's room, Jimin immediately knocked on the door not wanting to see Yoongi. That comment he made had broken him to the core.

Taehyung opened the door and smiled, pulling him in. The door closed behind separating him from Yoongi. The greeting kiss caught him off guard though this wasn't unusual behavior from him.

Jimin's eyes widened when he pulled away, he forced a smile. Taehyung impulsively reached over to fix his messy hair.

"How was your appointment with Jin?"

"It was good sir. As mentioned, I'm fine. I'm not sick. I'm just...." Emotionally unavailable. "Homesick. It happens every now and then."

Taehyung analyzed him for a few moments, but in the end pulled him in for another kiss. This time it was more gentle and much softer. He treated him with so much delicacy like he was made of glass.

It could've been magical except Jimin didn't feel the kiss. It was superficial to him. Empty. Crazy to say that he felt more with Yoongi holding his arm through his shirt.

Just when he was starting to recover, Yoongi showed up again.