"Did you enjoy shopping?" Taehyung asked with a smile on his face.

Jimin returned the smile and nodded. He was currently in bed naked with Taehyung after finishing their sexual experience. The only thing on top of them was a thin velvet blanket.

"I did. I enjoyed every bit of it. I got a lot of yellow stuff."

"Good. I'm glad you liked it."

Jimin was resting his chin on his chest and had one arm wrapped around him. He wasn't going to lie, the first time he had sex with Taehyung it had been incredible. The things that man was capable of were indescribable.

His praising, his voice, and his everything was just mind blowing. Today, however, he didn't enjoy any of it. His mind was lost in the image of Yuta with that man.

Yuta looked so happy without him and that was a hard pill to swallow. Every time he tried to push past it, the memory flooded his mind.

Seeing them hadn't left his psyche for a second. Having sex while being heartbroken and sad was incredibly gut-wrenching.

There was no pleasure. There was no true arousal. He had to basically force himself to enjoy it and fake it all because he felt so numb.

So empty.

Jimin wanted the life he used to have. He wanted a life with Yuta. A happy ending with him. This wasn't his happy ending. No money, gifts, or sex would compare to what he once had with him.

It was too late. He wouldn't get his life back. There was no going back in time. The cruel reality was that he couldn't stop himself from making that mistake that drove them apart.

Feeling this way reminded him of that day Jeongyeon brought in a new guy. He remembered the day like it was yesterday.

"Have you ever done it?"

"What?" Jimin asked as he looked at the timid boy with blonde hair. He was fidgeting with his fingers nervously as he waited to go out on the dance floor.

"This...sleeping with men I mean."

"I've done it for months. It gets easier with time."

He looked up with fear in his eyes, "I've only ever been with one person."

Jimin suddenly felt so connected with him. He saw himself in the young naive boy. "Me too. I mean before I actually started to..."

His voice trailed off not being able to finish. It repulsed him to know that this boy would follow his steps.

"Maybe this isn't for you." He finally said.

"I need the money. It's easy money."

"Hmm. Easy money isn't always obtained so easily. If you do this you have to be able to look at yourself in the mirror and live with that decision. You have to be able to look at yourself and not regret it. Can you do that?"

"What's the matter? You've been acting a little different." Taehyung said interrupting his deeper thoughts.

"I'm just tired. Yoongi has been waking me up at eight am every morning. He's trying to get me in a stupid routine." He forced a laugh and Taehyung chuckled.

"Yeah, Yoongi is a time freak."

Jimin laid his head on Taehyung's chest and stared at the wall. His mind went blank again. If someone would've told him that same advice he gave to that boy then maybe he wouldn't be here. He would still be with his true love.

Happy.

Taehyung rubbed small circles on his back and for a split second he forgot he was in bed with him and not Yuta.

•••

"Can you take me to the dance room dog?"

Yoongi turned to face him. His plate was full and he had barely touched any of it. "Not until you finish your food."

"I'm not really hungry. My stomach is upset."

"Then I won't take you. You didn't eat earlier this morning."

Jimin sighed and forced himself to finish. He knew he had to eat. He hadn't had a full meal since the previous night. The whole morning he has spent it with Taehyung and although he offered him food his appetite was lost.

The food tasted like nothing. Even though Taeil was an exceptional chef everything tasted so bland. It was his blueness taking over him.

After about thirty minutes, he managed to finish most of his food. He got up from the table catching Yoongi's attention.

"I won't eat anymore. Now take me."

"Fine. Go ahead."

Jimin walked ahead and listened for further instructions. "Keep walking. The room is on the other side of the hallway. I'll tell you when to stop."

He did as he was told and didn't speak further. This was quite unusual. Yoongi could tell something was wrong with him.

Typically, he'd play around and flirt. His whole mood had been off since the day he took him out shopping. Sad Jimin made his job worse.

It was already boring to babysit. If he was quiet and sad it made it more boring. Yoongi wasn't the emotional or empathetic type.

Even if he was that way, he couldn't comfort him. That wasn't his job. Not to mention that it was prohibited. Taehyung would never allow that.

Any emotion towards Jimin was forbidden. He had engraved that in his head from the moment he saw him dance for Taehyung.

"Stop. It's the one to the left."

Jimin nodded and opened the door. The room was spacious and cold. A big piano was on one of the corners along with other instruments. There was three big windows showing the outside. It was a particularly cloudy day.

The change of season was starting to turn the the leaves orange. His birthday was approaching. It would be his third birthday without Yuta.

He reached into his pocket to pull out his phone. Immediately Yoongi reached for his gun, but stopped once he saw what he was doing.

"I'm only taking out my phone dog. You're faster and stronger than I am. I would never try to fight you."

"What do you need your phone for? Just a friendly reminder that I get all your notifications and that certain numbers are blocked like the law enforcement."

Jimin chuckled, "I'm only going to play a song. I want to dance. Can't I do that?"

"Whatever." He said walking over the the door. He closed it behind and stood in the corner observing his every move.

First, he took off his shoes and socks. The wooden floor was cold on his warm feet. Next, he unlocked his phone to look up the song.

He had decided to wear hair clips on his hair as a way to comfort himself. Instead it triggered him more and made him sadder, but he needed something to remind him of Yuta.

Anything. 

Even the pain was acceptable because that was better than to feel numb. It was better to feel something than to not feel at all.

When the song started playing he felt his heart get heavy.  It was Yuta's and his song. The aching in his soul intensified as he began moving.

He deserved this hurting. He needed to hurt because what he did to Yuta was wrong. It had been selfish and cruel.

He deserved all the hatred and all the ache. This was his punishment for ruining something so beautiful. It was only fair since he took so much from Yuta.

Yoongi kept observing at him move. His back was faced towards him. There was something so oddly intimate about this dance. It wasn't sexual or anything. It was just packed with emotion.

His movements were effortlessly and lightweight. Almost like his body was made out of feathers. The song was slow and about love. It wasn't sad, but the way he carried himself made it sad.

Depressing.

As much as Yoongi tried to look away and ignore him he couldn't. His eyes were glued to him and the way he moved only intrigued him more.

When the song ended he saw Jimin bow down. His breathing was heavy and he could see his knees begin to tremble.

He kneeled down on the floor and laid back down. He was looking up at the ceiling. Yoongi watched as his chest moved faster and as he began swallowing down his saliva.

Jimin quickly turned towards the window to hide his face. The nauseating knot in the center of his stomach kept growing making it hard for him to breath.

He curled himself in and hid his face as the tears poured from his eyes. It was silent and no noise escaped his lips.

He hugged himself tighter to find some warmth. The tears didn't stop. His heart was unforgiving and let everything out. It had been bottled up for so long that at this point it was too fragile.

Yoongi stood firm in place and didn't take his eyes off him. He was mostly shocked at what was happening.
Picturing Jimin being so vulnerable seemed surreal.

The breathing got heavier and he kept curling himself into a smaller ball. Yoongi still didn't move. Comforting him wasn't his place.

That was the first time that Yoongi saw him cry.