17 years old
Mai

His soft full lips coaxed mine into submission. Lips twisting as his tongue twined with mine. Sharing breath, he kissed the life out of me but I was alive. I felt the most alive I had ever felt

His thick hands roved over my body, gripping my hips and pulling me in closer. His hard arousal throbbed along my thighs, rocking lightly against me.

Harsh gasps of air left my mouth as his lips glided down my neck. Teeth pulling at my skin as he nibbled and sucked his way down to my chest. I gripped his thick hair in my hands and forced his head towards my chest. A chuckle escaped his lips but I forced his head harder.

"Cobie" I whined, he always teased me.

"Shh" his wet tongue sweeping across my cleavage before he pulled down the strap of my bra. My nails sunk into his scalp in anticipation. I was throbbing for his touch.

A sharp cry left my mouth, eyes tightening as his lips wrapped around my tightened nipple. He sucked the small nub into his mouth, his tongue laving at it before he sunk his teeth in. The pain travelled between my legs causing a gush of wetness to slick my thighs.

My legs automatically fell open, my hands trailing down his back and clenching into his behind. Forcing him against me. A grunt left his mouth as I began rocking against him.

Gasps leaving my mouth as the pace picked up. His free hand wrapped around my other breast, squeezing and stroking.

"Fuck, Vee" he moaned deep, his eyes shut as his jaw clenched. My cropped hair disheveled.

I couldn't wait any longer, pulling his hand away from my breast I slowly pulled it down my stomach. My fingers wrapped around his wrist as I pulled him lower. When his hand began moving on their own I let him go. My hands rising to my chest and squeezing.

"Cobie" I gasped, head thrashing side to side as his fingers sunk beneath the line of my underwear. His thumb stroking along that little nub that had received so much self love from me.

"Fuck, Vee you are so wet" he moaned in my ear as a gush of slickness met his prodding fingers.

"There," I squawked my head rolling against the wall as I gripped his shoulders. My body pulsing around his fingers.

"There?" Her grunted, fingers squelching inside of me as he pounded on that spot.

"Yes, yes. Yessssss" tears trickled from my eyes as my body exploded around his thrusting fingers. I spasmed and spasmed until I was nothing but a twitching mess against the wall.

His slick fingers sunk into his mouth, nostrils flaring at the taste of me. Eyes dilated in lust and manhood thick with need.

I pounced on him, our bodies tumbling onto the bed as we broke out into fits of laughter.

"You're so eager" he chuckled, fingers stroking along my finely cropped hair.

"You know I love to please you," my tongue flicking out and licking against his trailing fingers. I sucked the digit into my mouth, lashes flickering as I lightly bit down. Coating his fingers in my saliva, showing him what I could do.

"Damn V, you drive me crazy" his eyes rolling back as I kissed along his solid abs. Lips moving lower and lower. Past the band of his underwear and revealing that heavy part of him that I had come to love.

"You drive me mad, Cobie" I moaned just before swallowing him whole.

//--//

"Shh, you're making too much noise" I giggled as Cobalt's heavy feet stomped through the compound.

He was a gentleman who always dropped me home when I asked to leave. He didn't mind that I didn't stay the night, I think he enjoyed the game of sneaking in undetected as much as me.

Every few nights or so I would meet him at his house. We would spend hours conversing until our loins grew heavy and then we would play. I would get lost for hours exploring his body and mind.

I loved touching this male. It gave me a sense of power that I had never felt before. Although we didn't love each other, there was a bond.

He had come from the gutters like me and he was a rejected mate like me. We found sanctuary within each other because our circumstances were so similar. We had a friendship, one that allowed us to be sexual without ruining what we had. I knew without a doubt that even after me and Cobalt went our separate ways we would always remain friends.

Whether I was his girlfriend or not, I would always cherish what he gave me. Though we hadn't gone all the way, Cobalt had made feel confidence in my body. He had worshiped it regardless of my flaws and he encouraged me to be expressive. The shorter my hair got the more he complimented.

He was a mellow version of Eliza, where she encouraged me to do wild things with her loud personality, he encouraged me with subtle pushes. Little nudges and suggestions until I was comfortable. He was good for me and if one day he left me for his mate, I would only see happy memories when I thought of him.

"Thanks for dropping me off Cobie" my arms wrapped around his body as I took in his musky scent. It always calmed me, got my mind to just stop and just feel.

"The pleasure is always mine Vee," his voice haughty as he bowed low to me. I giggled and curtsied as we pretended to be something we would never be.

"Now give me sugar" he growled, grabbing my body and forcing me to him. I squeaked in laughter as he kissed and tickled me all over.

"Don't mind me." Coughed the man of my dreams and nightmares.

I was annoyed that every time I was having a moment with Cobalt he always just miraculously appeared. His stalker tendencies were not appealing. I didn't follow him around like a lost dog when he was with all his females. Why couldn't he just leave me alone.

"Carson? What are you doing here?" I spat.

He had stopped trying to sleep with cheap copies of me and began seeing this other female. She had big grey eyes and long brown hair. The longer her hair got the short mine went. I was trying to be nothing like his females.

I occasionally saw him with the blondes or the female with beautiful black skin, it seemed he couldn't decide what he wanted. Or maybe he wanted it all, males could be greedy little things sometimes.

"I could ask the same thing but I won't. It's quite obvious what you have been up to." He sneered his disdain as his eyes moved up and down, taking in my disheveled state.

I felt the urge to fix my clothes but instead I clenched my hands at my side and stared him down. I wouldn't let his words cheapen what me and Cobalt shared. He made it seem wrong when it wasn't. Being with Cobalt was as right as my life had been since I had met this mate of mine.

"Yes and you have disturbed us." My arms folded over my chest as my eyes took in his unkempt state. Who was he to judge.

"I didn't disturb you, your squeaking pulled me from my bed" he thundered, stepping towards me with promises of punishment in his eyes.

"Well whoever was in it mustn't be that appealing then." I was being sarcastic, something that wasn't quite in my nature but I loved it just the same. My sarcasm came as a surprise to both the males around me.

"Vee, don't," whispered Cobalt, his hand laying on my shoulder as he pulled me closer. His murmuring of calming words in my ears helped me to get control of my unhinged emotions.

Pecking him on the lips I turned back to face Carson but the male had already disappeared. It was just like him. Always running away. He was such a little boy, hiding when things didn't go his way.

"Hey, I know it's hard when he comes at you like that but don't give him a reaction." His hand stroked along my cheek, pulling my focus back to him and his vivid blue eyes.

"You are worth so much more than what he is trying to make you." Fingers moving to my short bob, rubbing through the strands and massaging my scalp.

My eyes shuttered closed at his soft touch, this male was gods sent.

"You're amazing V" his cool breath gliding over my eyelids as he kissed my forehead and then moved down to peck my lips.

"Now get to bed, you know Micah will have you up early." He swatted my bum as he pushed me towards the stairs.

"If it's not a crying Micah then it's the twins." I chuckled, Neema's brood were a loud bunch.

Now that she had given birth to her little boy, I had his wailing to add to the choir of the twins hooting and Jana's chattering. The only quiet child was Caillum but these days he was getting louder. Spending time with Lian and Khan had done him good.

I loved them all. The kids were adorable, they called me aunty Van and I took my aunty duties seriously. Plus, I would do anything to help Neema out and she needed it. Even though Sahina and her family had finally returned from her mate's duties. She had a toddler of her own and couldn't help out as much as she wanted to.

Emmaline was wearing herself thin between being with her family and doing her doctor duties. Duties that seemed to be increasing with the number of underground humans they kept finding.

The hunts were successful but I also knew that the Khan and his brother Ryan were discussing ways they could change the animosity between the species.

Little baby Micah didn't come at the best time but with the loss of her last child, we hadn't cared about timing. A child was a blessing and Neema and Khan had those in abundance.

"What took you so long?" His voice always appearing out of thin air. Manifesting before his body ever did.

"Did you let him fuck you out there in the godamn hallway?" He was furious, eyes glowing red and fists clenched at his side as stepped away from the wall.

"Ugh, Carson. Must you be so crude." I shouted, spinning away from my door and stepping into my room. This male always helped himself to things that weren't his. Made himself comfortable where he was not welcomed.

"You have the cheek to talk about crude when you and your boy were practically having sex out there." He stepped further away from the wall, the shadows no longer shrouding his body but still lingering in his eyes.

"Don't judge me when you have never tried to hide your exploits!" My arms were waving as I moved closer to him in my anger. My frustration coming to a head.

"You're a filthy, good for nothing piece of crap. You are-" I gasped for air before stopping my tirade mid sentence. "-No, I'm not going to stoop to your level. So if you don't have anything else to say then please leave."

Turning my back on him I made my way to my bathroom so I could shower but his words stopped me.

"Well, I do have something to say. I-" he stammered, something he hadn't done for a few years now. It was like a tiny throw back to the old Carson. I felt nostalgic thinking of him.

"We'll spit it out champ" my words harsher than necessary.

"Okay. First I want to apologise for the way I spoke to you just then, I was out of line."

He always started with apologies before he delivered a killer blow. I knew this would be bad because up until now I thought he had ticked off everything on his list of wrong doings.

Apparently I was wrong.

"Okay and now. I don't know how to say this."

A sense of foreboding filled my chest, my heart breaking before he delivered his news. It wouldn't be good

"I know either way it's going to hurt you but you need to understand it wasn't intentional."

His hands were in his hair, pulling at the strands. Tears pooled in his eyes but they hadn't begun falling yet. His nails dug into his scalp, the tangy smell of blood following his actions.

"I have never meant to hurt you, Vanya. I just got caught up and then it all got out of control but I have never wanted to hurt you." They were falling now, soaking his cheeks and clothes.

"And I'm so sorry because I know I have and that my next words will hurt more than anything else but I- fuck." His eyes closed tightly before he opened those beautifully haunting grey eyes of his and I lost my breath.

"Fuck, Vanya I'm mated."

Silence. Just pure silence as I tried to process the blow he had delivered. My heart withered inside, it was dying and my friend in her black cloak was rejoicing.

She was spinning in circles, laughing as she mocked me. She had told me, tiny whispers in my mind that I had pushed to the side because I wanted to be happy.

She laughed. This was what I got for not listening to her.

"How?" I croaked. I wanted to be numb, I needed it because I couldn't deal with this level of betrayal. I couldn't.

"Well it was during-"

"-I don't fucking need to know that! Shit Carson!" I interjected.

Blackness descending over my mind and filling my being where a completed bond should have been. She had me wrapped in her cloak now but it wasn't loving. She would suffocate me in this isolation because even though he hurt me, I couldn't go back to being alone. Not now, not ever. Even if I would always have a part of me missing I wouldn't go back to that Vanya because of him.

"Who is she? Is it that cheap version of me that I caught you with a couple months ago!"

I was raging, my being twisting me into someone I couldn't recognise. I wanted to see him bleed. I needed to see it just as much as he loved to hurt me.

"No, my mate is Nelly!" She wasn't his fucking mate! I was! I was!

"The black girl from before."

Air left my lungs and my view went dizzy, I staggered back as black spots descended over my vision. It was so much worse.

"You really wanted to hurt me bad didn't you." My words were a hushed, distorted sound. I was disjointed. Sounds leaving my mouth without my control.

"It had to be her." My lips drenched with my tears, that errant liquid that this male had drew from me more times than anything else.

"Would another female hurt you any less?"

My response was instantaneous, "No! The moment you were ready to be a mate you should have come to me!"

I was hiccupping in my grief, my hand clenching my heart as he stomped all over it.

"You said you wasn't ready, Carson. And instead of telling me- you're actual fucking mate when you was- you decided to mark some other female." My nails were ripping into his skin, lashing out against the bitter emotions he created inside of me.

Then my mind came back into focus and I stopped, more questions spewing from my mouth. Questions I didn't want to know the answer to.

"Is she pregnant?"

Heartbreaking silence and then he answered. "We don't know yet." His reply no better than silence.  The uncertainty would kill me, if I wasn't already dead.

"Why? Why?" I was hysterically crying. Punching him, nails drawing blood as I tried to tear him to pieces.

He had desecrated this bond, spat on the gods and kicked me to the fiery pits of hell. I would burn there for all eternity because my being would never be right after this.

"What did I ever do wrong?" It was me, it had to be me!

Her gripped my shoulders as replied but I couldn't hear anything, I could just see his lips moving as white noise filled my ears. I knew he was filling my head with empty promises just so he could get me to stop crying. It's what he always did, he broke me down and then he gave me false hope to only crush me again.

He would say we could be together once her mark faded but the reality was he would never be mine. In this moment when he could see he was loosing me he would spew lies, anything so he could keep me waiting.

"No" my throat burnt but I managed to get out my rejection, "You have hurt me for the last time Carson."

My tears soaked into his chest as he held me to his heart. I wanted to stay like this forever but that wasn't our story. Me and Carson where never meant to be, by choice or by design.

"Even when I wasn't trying, there was still a part of me that wanted your approval. Your love."

The tiny splintered pieces of my heart were stilling. The weak organ struggling to beat for this male.

"But I have never been enough for you and so I'm done holding on."

Pulling my head away from his chest, I wiped the tears that lingered on my face. Taking in the sight of this male. My mate.

"I wish you all the best with your future Carson but I won't be in it."

I turned my back on him, trying to keep my composure even as those tiny smithereens of my heart cried for me to take back my words.

"No. Please" I heard his knees crash to the floor, nails scoring across the ground as he begged me to stay.

"Don't give up on me."

He was crying, wailing his despair. Tears fell down my face as I craved to touch him, to console him and tell him that I would never give up on him.

That I would love him until the day I died, but I didn't because it wasn't this male that I loved.

Shaking my head, I straightened my back and walked past him. My feet carrying me past the threshold of my room and down the corridor. My feet moving to the sound of his gut wrenching sobs.

I had given him my soul and all he had given me was the broken, charred pieces of a life he no longer needed.

This chapter of my life was closed. I wasn't going to hold onto things that he liked in hopes that he would love me. I wasn't going to hold back on sex with the hopes that I could save it for him.

I wasn't going to close my eyes at night and dream of the life we could of had. The life when he had been that sweet Carson. The Carson who had been so unsure of himself as he spoke to a despondent me. That Carson who had visited me religiously by my favourite tree, even though I rarely spoke.

I wouldn't wait for that Carson to reemerge because that male was dead. All that was left was this imposter and the limp bond between us.

I still felt it wriggling in my veins but the pull was weakened, it was damaged beyond repair. We were tainted.