20 Years Old
Octobe

It was dark and wings were fluttering over my skin, my white dress was billowing in the wind as my hair cascaded around my shoulders. The short strands whipping into my face and clinging to my cool skin. The floor shifted beneath me and from the ground came butterflies, it was an oddity that they were out at night, against the laws of nature but here they were. Their wings of splendour spread wide as they soared high into the sky, pretty wings of rainbows glimmering in the moonlight. Shards of golden light shimmering over my skin and basking me in light.

They fluttered in joy, their bodies reaching to the sky, beating, flapping, strumming. My heart thudded in time to their wings until I too felt like I was flying. The wind in my hair, I was liberated. The gods shined on.

A crashing clash of thunder shook the earth beneath my feet, soil shifting again as grass twisted around my feet, pulling me back down to nature. My nails scored at the ground as I tried to drag my body from this pit, the deep black pit that tried to swallow me whole. Maggots and larva squirming beneath my feet, their slime sticking to my skin as they clung to my legs. My fingers were gushing blood, the red making splatters against natures green canvas.

Tree roots raised from the ground, winding around my body and tearing at my dress, the bark biting into my skin and ripping me open as nature tried to take me back.

Lightning scored across the sky, angry strokes of the gods bolts shattering the calm night, the blinding white light revealed a black cloaked shadow. Its head cocked back in a laugh of glee, eyes shining red in the pale moonlight. Then it was gone. The silver lightning bolts created carnage, striking the butterflies one by one until they perished. Sizzling on the floor like hot lava until they cooled and turned to stone.

I screamed, my body ripping away from the black pit. I crawled and grappled along the sinking earth, water turning the ground before me wet as I squelched through the mud. It clung to my body, weighing me down but I trudged through the gunk until I reached solid ground. My chest laying flat along damp grass as I lay beside the dying butterflies, my cheeks wet as I watched them perish to the ground. Steam rising around them as they disintegrated before my eyes.

Wings poked through the body of a deceased butterfly. Dark brown wings, with angry strokes of red. it grew bigger and bigger until there was a swarm of them ascending into the sky. Moths hitting and striking at each other until they clumped together before my very eyes. Gathering and gathering until they became one dark ominous force.

Their black wings spread wide as they ascended across the sky. Body rising up and up until there was nothing but darkness.

The moon was not in my eye.

I gasped awake, eyes shooting open as the pale moonlight glared through the curtain of my room, shining so brightly until it too disappeared as a cloud of black descended across it. The aquamarine stone shone a magnificent blue, winking at me.

Closing my eyes, I tried to trick myself into believing that it had only been a dream, just a dream fuelled by my deepest thoughts but I knew deep down that it wasn't.

For some reason the gods had reached out to me and I was petrified, so petrified because my dream had been of nothing but darkness.

//--//

When I woke the next morning my eyes were gritty and raw from a sleepless night but I refused to dawdle in bed any longer, I had to find Manal and reveal my dream to her. She was leaving for good in a few days and sometimes her revelations took hours even days to decipher.

She would isolate herself for however long it took, normally in a field, somewhere where nature had a strong home and then she would pray. Her favourite crystals - Tibetan Quartz and Labradorite- clutched firmly in her hands has she just breathed.

There was no magic or flashing lights to her revelations, just time.

I hadn't even made it five steps down the corridor when I saw her, her deep green skirt clutched in her hands as she glided towards me. Her hair shimmering like the moon in my dream.

"Inside" she murmured, ushering me into my room. We sat closely on my bed, knees touching as we faced each other, my words a hushed whisper as I revealed my dream.

Her eyes were wide, filled with pride and fear. She too saw the darkness that had infiltrated my dream and the significance of a dying butterfly was as if they were warning me I would die. It was fear I saw in her eyes but she did not speak with fear in her tone. There was only faith and conviction as she bid me goodbye, she said she would come for me when she had deciphered the dream.

And so I kept busy, which was extremely easy considering we had an abundance of visitors.

The compound was exceedingly busy because not only was Lara and her brood down for an extended visit while Ferron dealt with some issues at home, but Khan's two younger sisters had also come down for another visit. This news hadn't exactly been met with joyous smiles by a heavily pregnant Neema.

His sisters were talkative monsters, Nora in particular. Khan blamed Neema for their continuous visits because before her they had been estranged, it seemed their brothers mate was a hit amongst the two of them. Which was funny because Neema couldn't stand them, she never out right said it but I could tell by that saccharine sweet smile she often gave them.

I suppose she didn't dislike them, she just found them to be a bit much. Khan's sisters were an acquired taste. They were extroverted females that laughed at unfunny jokes. It was totally understandable that she didn't particularly take to them because those two could talk.

They made my ears bleed with their incessant chatter, it was a painful death being in their presence but I couldn't be mean because they were genuinely nice. Neema was at her wits end though, dealing with four young children and Khans rambunctious sisters was a lot, though Jana seemed much older than her age these days.

At 9 she was grown in all the ways I had been at her age and it worried me, I didn't want her to be secluded like I had been at her age and so I tried to force myself into her life. It was just good enough that she liked my company enough, sometimes we would climb trees together though that was rare.

Neema had substantially cut down on her lessons but Jana still went at least once a day, her new teacher seemed a lot nicer than madam Rue a little less sour faced but the logistics of their teachings were similar.

The twins also had lessons but what they were being taught was different, they were beginning to be taught the laws of the Brethren, though those lessons were few and far in between. Neema wanted them to be more fluent with reading and writing before they were taught the laws that governed us.

The children's lesson Normally started around 10 for Jana and then 11 for the twins, and finished at 2 with a small break in between, however with all the visitor's lessons were being missed.

I had been given permission to take the kids with me in the garden while Neema hunted down her errant mate. He had been gone for two weeks and returned 3 days ago but in that time we had rarely seen him, and by we I meant all of us. The children kept asking for their father and Neema was becoming unbearably moody.

Sahina had tried to turn her attention elsewhere, knowing from experience how hard it was to be without a mate but that hadn't worked. Neema was in a mood and even her big sister Lara couldn't get her out of that funk. The sight of her adorable little nieces did nothing to ease her annoyance. Even Farrah,who was a soft spoken little golden haired child couldn't get her aunty to smile.

So here I was in the garden with all 14 children, because Emmaline had also left her four children with me. When I had been gone she had added two beautiful girls to the clan. They had their mother's strawberry blonde hair but their fathers slightly tan skin. I felt like I was running a child centre or something but I didn't mind so much.

"Don't put that in your-" mouth, the youngest of Emmaline's twin girls, Kerrie, had put a worm in her mouth before realising it wasn't quite edible and spat it back out.

"Yuck, I don't want kids" groaned Eliza at my side. Her arms wrapped around Kyra the slightly older twin on her lap, the little girl's dimples had endeared herself to Eliza.

"Sure you don't" I scoffed.

"I don't!" she interjected a bit too heavily to be believable.

"I don't think Sam would agree with that," I murmured, though the way she was clutching at Kyra told me she was blatantly lying.

"Well since Samyuri is lucky I took him back. He will just have to settle" her face twisted in a haughty look.

I burst out laughing which had Micah joining in, his fat hands clapping together as he laughed in glee.

"Isn't Eliza funny,"

"Yesh," he gurgled through fat cheeks that I just couldn't help smothering in kisses.

"No vroom, no" he squealed, gods that nickname the twins had gifted me with always caused a smile to rise on my lips.

"When are you going to have kids, mother hen. Veris is a ripe man" her eyebrows waggling with innuendo. A deep sigh left my lips at the thought of Veris.

These children were probably the closest I would ever get to having my own.

Veris had been acting weird with me, or maybe I had been acting with weird with him, I didn't know. It was hard to say, all I knew was that we went for longer periods without seeing each other, he often blamed his studies and I tried to blame mine but the reality was that he was annoyed with me and I didn't know why.

I could pin point the moment the discord had risen between us, a mention of mates and a run in with Carson had been it. He hadn't been too happy with the idea that no official rejection had been made between us and by official he meant "alpha recognition" but when I tried to explain why I hadn't told Khan he had gone off on a rant about love and respect.

He had yet to tell me he loved me and I didn't expect him to but it seemed that he expected me to loose my integrity to stroke his ego out of love and when I hadn't, well that was when things became awkward. We were still together more than twice a week but there was something missing.

It was disconcerting but every time I broached the topic he told me he was fine. I couldn't be asked to deal with his veiled feelings. I needed complete honesty and if he couldn't give me that now, then would he ever.

Veris was a touchy subject and so I put him to the back of my mind as I watched all the kids tussling about in the grass, Micah climbing from my lap as he joined the fray. Kerrie taking his place as she plonked herself on my lap, tugging at pale blonde hair. my lap as he sucked on his thumb.

"Children aren't for me" they weren't, my mate wasn't for me and every other male that I thought was that someone in my life had turned out not to be. With Cobalt there were no bitter feelings, we both knew that we had taken our relationship as far as it could go, but with Veris, I just knew it wouldn't end well. He wanted something from me but he wouldn't tell me or show me what and so I was grappling with straws.

"If I know my brother well, then I know he would be disappointed to hear that,"

"Nerrrrrroooooo" screeched Eliza, shooting to her feet to hug him but stopping mid stand when she remembered she had Kyra on her lap. The little girl nearly fell to the floor but Eliza caught her before I could even move, Kyra thought it was some sort of game and demanded she do it again but Eliza ignored her as she clutched the little bouncy child in one arm and hugged Nerro with the other. Kyra started making flying noises which got her twins attention.

"Me, me." Called Kerrie enthusiastically, hands clapping as she bounced on my lap. I was feeling extremely lazy though so instead I lifted her high in my arms and threw her up lightly before catching her and squeezing her in my arms.

"Hey Beth" he replied dryly before turning to me and kissing me on the cheek, Eliza was so excited to see him that she crowded me into the side of the bench. "Sit next to me Nerro" she didn't give him much choice though because she pulled him to sit by her.

"Seriously Beth,"

"Stop calling me that" she growled, poking him in his stomach as she glowered at him.

"Sorry" he looked so contrite and sorry but there was a little spark in his eye, that Nerro spark, "So how are you... Elizabeth" a snort slipped from my lips at the smirk on his face.

"Why you little" and then I was laughing because no matter how many times Nerro bested Eliza she was always shocked when he did. We all burst out laughing together because the repertoire between these two was just amazing but then our high was ruined by one of kids crying that the other had hit them.

I got up to see what was happening because neither Eliza or Nerro was ever going to move, I dumped Kerrie on a wide eyed Nerro's lap before charging off into the grass.

"What happened" I asked, exasperated at the sight before me, Reina had a busted lip, Roark had a scratch on his face, Nathan, Sahina's son, had a swollen cheek and Farrah had a bleeding nose.

They all started talking at once which resulted in more argument and shouting, gods they were killing me. "Enough!" I shouted, "We are going to speak one at a time" at that Roark put his hand up first and so he went first.

"Nathan punched Reina and so I punched him, and then and then, Farrah hit me-

"Yeah because you hitted my boyfriend," she glared fiercely at her cousin which earned her a loud growl from Reina. I was shocked by Farrah because I thought she was a little angel, how wrong I had been.

"So I beat up Farrah" a wide grin across Reina's face as she smiled proudly, gods that girl was something else.

"Alright, no more fighting. We are all family so we play nice. If I see any fighting, then you will all sit on the naughty bench until you get along." They all nodded solemnly but before they left I had to clarify one thing "and Farrah, Nathan isn't your boyfriend okay love," she scowled at me but reluctantly agreed before chasing after her cousins and friends.

Sighing deeply, I made my way back to the bench but was stopped by Micah who needed to go potty. I called out to see if any other kids needed to go but when none needed to, I took him in my arms and made my way inside. The walk wasn't too far but I had to cross Khans office to get their but when I did a gasp left my mouth.

Khan and Ferron were inside the room with a woman with dark chocolate skin and tight coiled hair, grey strands weaved through her hair as her shoulders shook in tears. Neema was gripping her shoulders tightly as tears gushed down her face, as Lara buried her head along her back. A lot of the woman's face wasn't visible but from what I could see, I knew exactly who it was and my heart beat with so much love and pain all at once.

I sniffled back my tears as I carried the wiggly Micah down the corridor and into the toilet, helping him pull down his pants as he went toilet. My mind elsewhere as I drowned out his childish ramblings.

Seeing her made me see the resemblance between all of the siblings, they had her nose and her mouth. Her skin was much darker than theirs and she was taller, her hair a different colour but I could see the relation.

Their mother was beautiful, even though her face had been shuttered in pain and joy, I couldn't help but notice how soft and smooth her skin appeared and how brown her watery eyes seemed.

When I got back to the garden I didn't share my revelation with my two laughing friends, instead I sat back and watched the children, Jana and Caillum in particular. Their lives were about to change so much because their mother was home.

Finally.