"TaeTae! TaeTae, are you home?!"

Taehyung dragged a hand down his face in exasperation. He thought he could sneak into the house as quietly as possible but apparently his mom's eagle senses were not dull yet despite her age.

Maybe I could pretend to sleep.

No, he had to tell his mother about the whole Jimin thing, meaning he had to come out.

Pretending to sleep sounds better.

"Tae?! TaeTae are you in your room?!" Taehyung grimaced as his mother's voice and footsteps grew louder by the moment.

Just get under the damn blanket!

"Is this boy asleep?"

YES YES

And the door opened.

"Kim Taehyung," his mother said unamusingly as she placed her hands on her hips and pursed her thin lips.

"Yes?" Taehyung responded innocently, thanking himself for having put the headset over his ears right before his mother barged in.

"I told you a hundred times to lower the volume of your music! What if it hurts your ears? What if your Eommoni is dying but you can't hear her because you're too busy listening to horribly loud music?"

"Ah, Eommoni," Taehyung complained. "Don't be so dramatic!"

As his mother burst into another aimless lecture, Taehyung took off his headset and pinched the bridge of his nose. He walked past his mother, moving her out of the way gently by her shoulders.

"Where are you going? Are you going out again?! Oh! That reminds me! How did your date go? You've been out for hours. It must have gone well, right? Did you get her number?" His mom spoke like a bullet train as she followed him into the kitchen and sat opposite to him at the dinner table.

"Let's start eating," Taehyung said nervously as he scooped rice into his mother's bowl and then into his own.

"What are being so discreet for? You can't even share things with your own mother? I don't unders-" his mom stopped abruptly to gasp loudly.

...what?" Did she finally firgure out I'm gay?

"You-" his mom's cheeks turned pink.

Wait...

"You know you should wait till marriage, Tae! Oh, you youngsters these days..." His mom laughed as she fanned herself with her hand.

"Eommoni," Taehyung deadpanned. "What exactly are you talking about?"

"You had- oh, what do you call it these days? You hooked up with Sarang!" His mom looked very proud as she beamed at a flabbergasted Taehyung triumphantly.

"Eommoni-"

"Oh, my TaeTae has grown up so much! Wait till I tell your Appa-"

"No!"

"Don't be embarrassed, son! We understand completely! Let me tell you a secret- your Appa and I-"

"Eommoni I'm gay!"

His mother dropped her chopsticks and stared at him dead in the eyes without blinkly even once. Taehyung placed down his chopsticks and went through all the five stages of grief as he waited for the silence to end. For some unexplained reason, Seokjin's face floated in his mind but it faded away quickly.

"You are... homosexual?" Taehyung's mom said the word very carefully as if wishing to be corrected just in case she heard it wrong.

"Ye- Yes."

"Since when?"

"Uh-" Taehyung wasn't sure how to answer that.

"I figured out when I was fifteen," he decided to answer.

"Fifteen?!"

"Yeah..."

His mom finally blinked, and blinked very vigorously as she held her head in her hands and closed her eyes, inhaling deeply.

"Why are you telling me this now?" She asked quietly, not moving from her position.

Taehyung couldn't answer that.

"Look, Taehyung," his mom said with a sigh, lifting her head and meeting his eyes.

"If you're doing this to get away from the blind dates-"

"I'm dating Jimin!"

"WHAT?!"

His mother slumped back into her chair as she stared into the void with a perplexed look in her eyes.

"That sweet boy Jimin? Park Jimin from Busan?!"

"Yeah..."

"I thought you two were best friends!" His mother protested, standing up from her seat.

"We are! It just...um turned into...something more," Taehyung forced out the words.

"Something more," his mother reflected his words.

"I don't believe you."

"Why don't you Eommoni?! What is there not to believe?"

"You never mentioned Jimin in any other way."

"How could I? I never even told you I liked men!'

"So she was right..." His mother muttered as she took a dramatic step back.

"What now, Eommoni?" Taehyung was seriously at his breaking point. He wasn't expecting this to take such a toll on him.

"The fortune teller was right. I will die before-"

"No," she interupted herself and fixed Taehyung with a steely look which made him gulp.

"No, I don't believe you. I won't believe you until I have proof. I want to meet Park Jimin. Set a date as soon as possible at my cafe."

"Okay- where are you going? Have something at least!" Taehyung followed his mother out of the kitchen.

"I'll eat later. Don't starve yourself waiting for me." And with that, the bedroom door closed on Taehyung's face.

Taehyung went back to the dinner table but he couldn't eat more than a few grains of rice. It... definitely went better than what he had expected but still...

He just hoped his mother would get around soon.

Taehyung: Guys :(.

Jimin: We're here Tae

Jungkook: Do you wanna come over? Video call?

Taehyung: :((.

______________

Taehyung had one concern.

"Are you sure you want to meet him at your cafe? We can just invite him over-"

"No. My cafe," his mom stated sternly before clicking her purse close and getting into the passenger seat.

"Why your cafe?" Taehyung complained as he settled behind the wheel and started the car.

"Is there a problem with your Eommoni's cafe? Do you feel embarrassed to bring your... boyfriend to your Eommoni's cafe?" His mother asked like a freight train.

"Eommoni ofcourse not! Why would you even think that?"

"Then why are you just sitting there? Drive the car! You don't even show manners when it comes to your boyfriend!" Taehyung felt somewhat happy at the second boyfriend; it sounded more natural.

"There's a flower shop! Why aren't you stopping the car?!" His mother rebuked as she pressed her hands flat against the window, her eyes growing more and more hopeless as the flower shop grew smaller and smaller.

"Eommoni, it's just Jimin. We don't need flowers," Taehyung groaned.

"I did not raise you to be such a thug! Oh good heavens...good lord..." His mother muttered more of her exasperation under her breath.

"We're here," Taehyung announced as he parked the car.

"I know we're here. I built this place."

Taehyung sighed and forced an artificial smile as he opened the door for his mother before he got the nth earful.

"Aunty!"

Taehyung breathed out in relief when he heard his soulmate but when he turned around and saw the dude holding flowers, he knew he would be the victim to yet another lecture.

"For you, aunty," Jimin said with the brightest smile as he bowed and presented the flowers to Taehyung's mother who looked surprisingly delighted.

She received the flowers with an unexpected smile; maybe she was so done with Taehyung's ungentlemanly behaviour that she couldn't help but melt at Jimin's little courteous act. Besides, the devil knew how to impress aunties.

"Thank you. This is so lovely," his mother said politely. "Let's go inside."

Taehyung did an urgent scan of the cafe and to his immense relief, Seokjin could not be spotted anymore. Maybe his shift wasn't today. However, unfortunately, he saw a wide deer eyed, muscled waiter scrutinizing them from the counter.

"The green shawl makes your skin glow, aunty. But regardless, you must take good care of your skin. Or is it natural?" Jimin began as they sat down.

"Oh!" Taehyung's mom chuckled with an obvious blush. "I have no time for skincare, Jimin-ah. It's all god's work."

"You look..." Jimin suddenly looked constipated as he tried to compliment Taehyung. "Good. Aunty must have chosen the shirt for you? Such an amazing taste."

Yes, indeed his mother had chosen the obnoxious combination of a loud green shirt, to match her shawl, and dull grey slacks paired with a baby yellow tie. Taehyung was glad Seokjin wasn't working that day.

"Yes, yes! My son cannot even dress properly for a date," Taehyung's mom said, looking very pleased of herself.

Jimin was pushing all the right buttons.

"So... Jimin...um," his mother looked to the sides as if she was worried someone might overhear them.

"How... How did it happen?" Mrs. Kim asked crudely.

But Jimin laughed it off and answered, "Well, you know we have been friends since highschool. We started to have feelings for each other during our final year but didn't act upon it till university. That's it."

"Yeah," Taehyung added very helpfully, kind of impressed by how confident Jimin was.

"Are you two... Did you two..." Taehyung's mom turned redder by the second.

Taehyung exchanged a quick, weirded out glance with Jimin as they watched Mrs. Kim struggle to word her thoughts.

"Eomma just say it," Taehyung sighed, exasperated.

So his mother blurted, "Did you two touch each other?"

"What?!" Taehyung felt absolutely scandalous. "Why would you ask-"

"Are we ready to order?"

Taehyung resolved to buy Jungkook those pair of expensive as shit platform boots for Christmas; he had been whining about it since the first time he laid his eyes on them on some magazine.

"Aunty the bill is on me today," Jimin offered sweetly.

"Oh, don't worry about it. I own this cafe- Taehyung, you didn't tell him? I'll have one..."

As they gave their orders, Jungkook had this serial killer smile on his face and his eyes were wider than normal, glancing every once in while in Taehyung's direction with a clear warning.

Don't take it too far.

"Such a handsome young man. Tall, muscular, lean. My Taehyung is just lean," Taehyung's mom said in silent disappointment.

"Eommoni I'm literally taller than him."

"You don't have muscles like him. Men should look strong. Let's see- yes, Jimin has strong arms," his mom looked pleased as she touched Jimin's arms, the latter forcing a constipated smile.

"Ah, Aunty, Taehyungie looks handsome enough without big biceps and thighs and..." Jimin trailed off before collecting himself and continuing, "-my point is, he's beautiful just the way he is."

Taehyung raised his eyebrows at Jimin who widened his eyes a little, a quiet apology for the slip-up being transmitted between them.

"You're too considerate, Jimin," Taehyung's mother sighed.

Jimin chuckled artificially before Taehyung's mom threw in the dreaded absurd question.

"So what about... marriage? Mrs. Kim said the word with quite some difficulty.

"Eommoni," Taehyung sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "We're not ready for that conversation yet."

"Oh, so you won't continue your relationship for too long?" She asked with suppressed hope in her tone.

"I think he meant that marriage isn't so important to us," Jimin provided quickly, throwing a feigned loving glance at Taehyung who reciprocated it with a hint of grimace.

"But that's simply ridiculous! One must get married and have kids," Mrs. Kim said in a very urgent voice, placing her hands on the table and sitting a little straighter in her chair.

"There is no must, Eommoni," Taehyung insisted with irritation.

"You two won't stay young and handsome your whole lives! You'll end up lonely!"

"Aunty, we are in a relationship currently, right?" Jimin said with an overly sickly sweet smile.

"But you must think about your future! About your family! About your poor parents who have so many hopes and-" Mrs. Kim drew a long breath and closed her eyes before exhaling slowly.

The friends exchanged concerned looks.

"I'm sorry, Jimin. I have always liked you so much but this- I didn't know things would turn out like this," Mrs. Kim murmured, her energy dissipating gradually.

"It's alright, Eommoni, just take it slow," Taehyung comforted her, placing a hand on her shoulder gently.

"Yes, Aunty, let's not rush these things. You won't get used to this by one date-"

Taehyung's eyes widened and he tried to signal Jimin to change course desperately.

But it was too late.

"Ah, yes, we should meet more often," Mrs. Kim sealed the deal with a nod and Taehyung kicked Jimin from under the table and smiled at him dangerously.

"Oh!" Jimin's eyes turned into saucers. " Aunty, I meant-"

"Here is your order!"

Jungkook started to lay down their orders on the table and when he bent down next to Jimin to place his drink in front of him, the older took a quick glance to his right and a hint of pink spread rapidly across his cheeks. Taehyung quickly looked at his mother to see to if she has noticed the quiet interaction and to his horror, he found her averting her eyes from Jimin as soon as Taehyung's eyes swept over her.

Taehyung groaned internally.

This won't be good.

______________

"You didn't even offer to drop him off!"

Taehyung sighed as he began to drive away from the café, "He lives near. He won't need a lift."

"What sort of boyfriend are you?! How unmanly! How indecent! No wonder Jimin is cheating on you-"

His mother gasped and clamped her hands over her mouth.

Taehyung, eyes blown wide but still fixed on the road, asked carefully, intelligently, "...what?"

"Oh no, I'm so sorry my baby, Eommoni didn't mean to say it like that-"

"Jimin is not cheating on me," Taehyung said through gritted teeth.

"But the waiter-"

"Eommoni..."

His mother started to murmur pitiful things under her breath as Taehyung plotted Park Jimin's murder.

When they arrived at home, Taehyung took out his phone.

Taehyung: Jimin-ah :). You had one job :).