"Jimin-ah, please! Just this once, please!"

"This is fucking ridiculous. It won't work."

"Please, I will do anything. Just help me out this once."

"Taehyung, do you really think aunty will believe you? Really?"

"She will, she will! If she can believe in some cheapass fortune teller saying she won't live to see her grandchildren, then she can believe we're dating too."

"Dear lord- how did she even end up there?"

"I don't fucking know! Last week she called me to pick her up frantically. I thought something bad had happened."

"I bet it was some weird friend who persuaded her to go there. My mom used to have one too. Anyways, how long do we have to pretend?"

"You're doing it? I LOVE YOU!!"

"Yeah yeah I love you too. So, how long?"

"She said she'll return to Daegu after Christmas. So till then."

"Taehyung I swear to god if I have to spend Christmas with you-"

"Oh please, I'm not that stupid. I'll make something up for your absence. Then you can spend time with Jungkook as much as you want. I'll even let you borrow my car! But please don't fuck-"

"That was only ONE TIME."

"I did not deserve to leave for work with my best friends' semen on the backseat."

"That's disgusting!"

"You and your coconut headed boyfriend are disgusting and shameless!"

"You're just jealous you're single."

"Aren't you my boyfriend now?"

Taehyung heard Jimin sigh from the other end of the call.

"Give me a list of stuff to remember in case aunty starts asking me questions like how long we've been together and stuff."

"Yeah sure. Let me finish this design real quick."

With that, Taehyung hung up and returned to his computer where he was definitely not finishing a design but instead stalking someone. It was someone he knew from university, someone he had only spoken to in his final year and encountered afterwards here and there but only for a short time because the person had gone abroad. But he never had the time or courage to dive into anything deeper than friendly acquaintance.

Apparently, he had returned to Korea just three weeks and judging from the pictures he had posted, he was travelling every once in a while, but mostly during weekends or in the evening. And it just made Taehyung wonder if he could accidentally meet the man and maybe start talking.

Or you can always DM him on Twitter instead of making things difficult.

But! What if he thinks I'm stalking him?

Well you are.

I don't want him to know!

What are you, thirteen?

Mentally maybe

Taehyung closed his laptop and began typing on his phone, writing random dates and events on his notes app that he was sure to forget before copy-pasting them to Jimin.

No wait, he accidentally sent them to their group chat with Jungkook.

Jungkook: what is this

Jungkook: u write fanfiction about my boyfriend?

Taehyung: NO WTF.

Taehyung: I have standards and shit.

Jungkook: u definitely had standards when you stripped in the club last month

Jungkook: and humped on some straight guy

Taehyung: I was DRUNK.

Jungkook: drunk my ass

Jungkook: and can you stop using a period after every sentence

Taehyung: No.

Jungkook: boomer

Taehyung: Your boyfriend is older than me.

Jimin: What's going on?

Jungkook: my boyfriend is beautiful stfu

Taehyung: I have his pictures from middle school. Want to see?

Jimin: WHAT IS GOING ON?

Jungkook: dm me

Jimin: JUNGKOOK?

Jungkook: BABY?

Taehyung: Not here please.

Jungkook: speaking of it, can u please explain what that long and very detailed text about Jimin hyung and u dating?

Jimin: Tae🤦🏻

Taehyung: OKAY.

Taehyung: Jungkookie.

Jungkook: just say it

Taehyung: I am in grave danger.

Jungkook: so?

Taehyung: Brat.

Taehyung: Some aunty told my mom about this fortune teller. She visited them last week and got this stupid horoscope that she will die before seeing her grandchildren.

Jungkook : i mean you're a gay who doesn't want kids so...

Taehyung: THAT'S NOT THE POINT.

Jimin: The point is Tae wants me to be his pretend boyfriend so his mom would stop sending him on blind dates and dragging some random friend's daughter home every Saturday

Jungkook: oh

Jungkook: you didn't tell me about it :(

Jimin: I was going to tell you baby🥺

Jimin: But Tae beat me to it

Jungkook: :(((

Jimin: baby :(

Taehyung: Dear lord. Just stop.

Jungkook: give us privacy

Taehyung: THIS IS A GROUP CHAT?

Jungkook: leave the group

Taehyung: You little-

Taehyung slipped his phone into his pocket with a smile before exiting his room and walking towards the main door when he heard the dreaded call.

"TAETAE?!"

"Yes, Eommoni?!" Taehyung called back as he put on his shoes.

"Are you- Are you going somewhere?!" His mom yelled as she came running from her room with a hopeful gleam in her eyes, clutching her phone tightly.

"Just out." And he attempted to escape but his mom gripped the back of his shirt and man was this old woman strong?

"Eommoni!" Taehyung whined loudly as he got pulled back like a kitten being carried around by his mother.

"Sit here, young man. Sit!"

Taehyung sat grumbling on the living room sofa, a pout blooming on his lips.

"Look at this. Look!" His mom said excitedly as she thrusted her phone in front of Taehyung's face, just a centimetre away from his nose.

"Aish, I'll go blind this way," Taehyung complained before taking the phone from her and looking at it from a safer distance.

"Eommoni-"

"Don't you say a word! I want you to meet her. Her name is Kang Sarang. She lives just a few blocks away with her roommate and is working for a multinational company. You need to meet her."

Taehyung scanned the picture of a woman in her late twenties with straight, short brown hair and a formal dress sitting on a chair rigidly as if she too was being forced into blind dates by her parent(s).

"Eo-"

"No! None of it. You will dress nicely and meet her at my cafe at 4 o'clock, okay?" His mother said sternly, her expression unmoving.

Taehyung's heart pounded with anxiety as he contemplated on whether he should tell his mom about Jimin or not. It was eating him from inside but he decided this wasn't the right time. Sure, he had to make an extra excuse to why he had been going to blind dates despite having a boyfriend but he could manage it.

Right now, his mom was on high alert so his lie would be easily detected.

"Okay," Taehyung said in defeat.

"That's my baby! Now go dress up! You have only thirteen minutes!"

Taehyung: Ugh.

Jungkook: hyung, nobody puts a period after ugh

Taehyung: Ugh.

Jimin: What's wrong

Taehyung: Another blind date

Jimin: You didn't tell her???

Taehyung: I chickened out.

Jungkook: that's ok try at dinner?

Taehyung: That's the plan for now.

Taehyung: I'm so scared.

Taehyung: I'm literally coming out to her.

Jungkook: You have a job, a roof over your head, food on the table, a CAR. I don't think she'll be too bothered by it.

Jimin: Jungkook's right. I don't think auntie will take it too harshly.

Jungkook: do you want us to join?

Taehyung: Yeah but I'm "dating" Jimin, remember? So...

Jimin: Okay Tae whatever you think is best

Taehyung sighed as he checked his reflection one last time before leaving his room and heading towards the foyer.

"Wait! Wait!"

"Ugh, Eommoni, what now?" Taehyung complained as his mom gripped his wrist.

"What is this?" His mother scolded as she tugged on his belt. "Why is it so long? It's literally hanging! Give me five minutes, I'll fix-"

"Eommoni!" Taehyung slipped the belt out of his prying mother's hands before she could chop it short and sew it up.

"It's fashion."

"What sort of fashion is this? And didn't you apply Vaseline?! Wait!"

Taehyung pinched the bridge of his nose as his mother scampered to fetch the small container of Vaseline before dabbing it excessively on his lips.

"Eugh-" Taehyung complained as he moved away and wiped off the excessive chapstick.

"Young men these days! Don't even know how to dress up properly for a date. A woman does not like to be courted by men with cracked lips and lousy excuse for fashion!"

"I don't even like women," Taehyung muttered inaudibly.

"What did you say?"

"I said it's getting late, now let me go!" With that, Taehyung flew out of the door while his mother's reprimands grew fainter and fainter.

Taehyung had to use the GPS as he drove through the roads to reach his mother's new cafe. He hadn't visited this branch yet because it was only established this year; the reason why his mother has been living with him for some time now. He stopped the car a little further past a flower shop and contemplated. He would definitely hear an earful if he said he didn't bring flowers to his date so, he reluctantly got out of the car and purchased a small bouquet of white roses.

When he reached the cafe, he was surprised by how empty it seemed. Well, it wasn't technically empty but the cafe in Daegu would be bustling with customers at this hour; Taehyung only saw eight customers. It didn't take him much time to recognise his date because the woman was sitting just as rigidly as in the picture and caught his eyes quickly. She seemed to be in the middle of ordering as a waiter was standing next to the table with his back against Taehyung.

"Good even-"

Then he saw the waiter.

Clad in a pastel pink uniform and black apron was none other than Kim Seokjin himself. The gentle brown hair had gotten longer and his lips seemed pinker but those soft doe eyes bordered with dainty lashes were still the same.

"For you," Taehyung said without thinking as he held the flowers in front of Seokjin.

Both Sarang and Seokjin had a giant question mark on their faces but Seokjin accepted the flowers and blushed innocently as he stared at Taehyung in awe.

"Uh," Taehyung started to think.

"Uh, um, my mom," Taehyung managed to say. "Yeah my mom gave you those flowers."

The question mark was just enlarged by three.

"Uh, I mean, since you've been such a good employee, my mom asked me to send these flowers."

Three more question marks appeared.

"She owns the cafe," Taehyung added hurriedly and banged his head on an imaginary wall in his mind.

"Oh!" Seokjin exclaimed and covered his mouth, that cute little habit from years ago that made Taehyung's heart flutter.

"I've only been working for a few weeks though," Seokjin said with a shy smile that made Taehyung's heart beat three times louder.

"And you're already so good at it!" Taehyung complimented urgently.

"Thank you..." Seokjin looked down before saying, "It's good to see you after so long, Taehyung."

Taehyung nodded, insides melting, and said, "Same, hyung."

"What can I get you?"

Then Taehyung was hit by the truck of reality and he side-eyed Sarang nervously, chuckling in embarrassment. He pulled back the chair opposite to his date and sat down, hands sweating. Sarang looked intensely awkward as her eyes darted back and forth between Taehyung and Seokjin and tried to smile at the former but the curve of her lips looked constipated.

"Hot chocolate?" Seokjin asked with a small smile.

"I mean... you didn't like coffee last time we had talked so..."

"Yes! I mean. yeah, hot chocolate it is. You remember," Taehyung pointed out, blushing so hard that his body was burning at that point.

"Just like you remember I like white roses, Tae," Seokjin said before turning his back and striding to the counter.

Taehyung could not help but watch, amazed and flustered, the man conveying their orders to the barista with his lips forming a slight pout and his eyes turning impossibly round as if the barista were teasing him.

He sighed. He had subconsciously picked Seokjin's favourite for his date.

Oh, wait.

He gave the flowers to Seokjin.

He wanted to pound his head with a hammer.