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I woke up sweating like a dog in the summer. Must have been dreaming, I thought. But the harder I thought about the dream, the more I realized that it wasn't a dream. Everything that had happened with Rhys and I that night was true. That also meant that our friendship was ending on a horrible note.

I noticeably groaned, the sound echoing off of my walls subtly. My room wasn't very decorative compared to most people. My parents didn't want me putting things on my wall, but I still found ways to decorate the plain room. I had art made by myself or inspirational quote wall stickers and the occasional small band posters. My bookshelves were lined with posters from several plays and movies. I had pictures of my family and my friends on top of the book shelf. The picture that stood out the most to me was the one of me and Rhys.

I had plenty of pictures of him and I on that shelf, but this one photo shined like a genuine diamond under a velvet cloth. It was a photo taken on his Polaroid camera on the day we met each other. I had been assigned to sit behind him in class. At first I was nervous. He didn't seem very friendly and all I wanted was a friend to help me survive through math class. But then, I was working on a worksheet and he turned around and tapped me on the shoulder. I looked up and he smiled.

"You've got no jams." He said, making a Kpop reference. I didn't know about Kpop at the time and shot him a look of confusion. He pulled out his Polaroid and nodded his head towards the camera. He took a picture of me before I was ready and I gave him a puzzled look. He took another one and I began to laugh a bit at his strange actions.

"What on earth are you doing?" He smiled as he shook the two photos.

"Capturing your first day in a class full of cancer." He chuckled at his own joke and I frowned.

"That's not exactly the best thing to make jokes about..." He rolled his eyes.

"Geez, I was just joking. I just mean that this class will corrupt you very fast, or rather, I will corrupt you very fast. So what do you say? Take a picture together to show how innocent you are now? That way you can look back years from now when we've become good friends and realize how much I corrupted you." I giggled and rolled my eyes playfully.

"I accept the challenge. Go ahead." With that, we both posed and smiled and he shook the picture until it appeared clear as the blue, cloudless sky outside.

I still kept the picture on my shelf. It was framed around a black picture frame that allowed for you to write on it with chalk. He had written, 'To the girl with no jams, from: Rhys'. He had given me the picture last Christmas, saying he found it and forgot he had it. He said he figured I should keep it, to remind myself of how our friendship changed not only myself, but him as well. I stared at the loud picture, our smiles shining brightly, our eyes full of potential and curiosity about where that encounter would take us. I couldn't help but wonder, what happened to us?

I heard a familiarly rhythmic knock on my bedroom door and heard my mother's voice loud and clear.

"Honey? Are you awake?" I shook my head and placed the picture face down so I didn't have to look at the past and face how much our story hurt.

"Yeah, Mom. I'm up." I answered while yawning.

"Okay, sweetie. You slept in pretty late. Are you alright? How late were you up?" My heart pounded a bit faster. I'm a horrible liar, but only if you are paying attention to my face. I at least managed to keep my voice steady.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I went to bed pretty early last night, I just had a really good dream this morning and felt like going back to sleep to see if I could continue it." She chuckled through the door.

"Well, I'm glad to hear you had a good dream. Are you dressed?" I looked down at my clothes and realized I was still wearing Rhys's coat. I cursed myself for having not returned it. I'd be frozen alive if I hadn't borrowed it, but I didn't need it in my room or my closet where my mother would find it. That's when another ice burg hit me: Rhys was going away...he wouldn't be getting it back.

"No...but I'll be ready for breakfast and downstairs in a minute." My voice was shaking a bit.

"Alright, Caroline. I'll see you downstairs, honey." I heard my mother walk away from the door and I took a few deep breaths to keep myself from crying. I was still shaking from the fear of her coming in and seeing me in Rhys's jacket. I took the garment off with disgust and threw it in my closet, hoping my mother wouldn't see it. Guess I'm stuck with the stupid thing, I thought in defeat. I decided to change into something more comfortable, knowing that if my parents saw me wearing an outfit like I was around the house, they'd know that something was up with me. I threw on a pair of gray sweatpants I owned on and a kpop shirt for the group VIXX.

My parents had the table all set for breakfast. There were eggs, pancakes (My mother's favorite), cinnamon french toast (My favorite), Bacon and hash browns. I sat down at my designated seat at the table and prayed before digging into my food. As I tasted the savory cinnamon french toast with syrup, I looked across the table at the seat left empty by my family. The seat was designated for guests originally, but the only guest that ever really sat there was Rhys. I suddenly lost an interest in my food and began playing around with my food, pushing it across the plate with my fork. I occasionally took bites in order to keep my parents from getting suspicious. My father had his newspaper propped up in the air, covering his whole face as he sipped his coffee and took slow, sophisticated bites of his food. He was a very stereotypical business man.

"So how's Christmas break so far, Caroline?" My father asked through the newspaper, trying to start conversation so my mother wouldn't tell him to put the newspaper away.

"Wonderful...I guess..." My mother rolled her eyes playfully.

"Finally getting to sleep in is pretty wonderful, I'd say. Take advantage of it while you can. Once you get a job, you'll miss those days to sleep in from high school." I chuckled a bit. There was a bit of a pause until a knock at the door broke the silence. My mother and I exchanged glances.

"Who could that be?" My mother went to get the door and I kept eating, losing interest. My mother sounded pleased when she opened the door.

"Oh! Hello dear! Come in, come in! Are you hungry? It's about time you came over for breakfast again." Again? That could only mean one thing...

"Martha, who is it?" My father asked from behind the bastion of his newspaper.

"It's Rhys." My eyes went wide in shock. My heart sank all the way to the floor when I saw him, and yet, it beat ten times faster. He had that sort of effect on me. He glanced in my direction with a somber, quiet look. I did not return the glance and turned my attention to my french toast. I wanted nothing to do with him. He had hurt me, not intentionally, but as always, he'd hurt me without even trying. On top of everything that had happened, he was going to be leaving. I think I could've hated him in that moment if it wasn't for that damn smile. He smiled when he sat down across from me, knowing that just for breakfast, I'd be forced to talk to him. I couldn't tell what he was planning or why he was there and it was getting on my nerves. He fixed himself a plate and initiated conversation.

"Thank you, Mrs.Whit. I appreciate the offer very much. You're an amazing cook!" She wore a humble smile, doing that motherly thing where she acts like shes not a good cook and holds a hand to her heart, saying the gesture is kind.

"Well, I suppose that's one thing the boy and I have in common. You are a pretty great cook, love." My father added, still not peeling his eyes away from his newspaper. At least he was listening to us, even if he didn't care about the conversation.

"You guys are too sweet! There's plenty more food to go around so eat as much as you want." Rhys took advantage of the offer and ate as much as he could. That was one thing that would never change about the boy, he never stopped eating.

"So what are your plans today, Rhys?" My mother asked. He wiped his face off with a napkin before answering.

"Nothing much. Just thought I'd come eat with you guys for breakfast since I haven't done that in a while. Today is basically a lazy day for me so this would be the highlight."

"Well that's really sweet of you to say. What about your girlfriend, Missy? Do you have any plans with her?" My mother was on to him, I could tell. She was still very fond of him, but she wasn't stupid. She knew that ever since he started dating Missy, he hadn't come over to eat with us. She was completely clueless to the fact that I liked him, but she knew him just as well as I did. I think she might've died if she found out that I liked him. After all, he was like a surrogate son to her. Rhys's smile straightened out and his eyes fixed on his plate that was almost empty.

"No...she's a bit...busy today."

"She's really busy...like she's always been." I chimed in with a touch of spite. I didn't plan on having anyone hear me, but the fact that I finally spoke drew attention to myself. Rhys glared at me.

"It's a family issue. She'll be alright though." He responded a bit quietly.

"Sorry to hear." My mother said. She had her suspicions that something was up between us, sensing the tension. She wouldn't say anything though. I couldn't thank her enough for not bringing up the questions she had.

"It's alright. Anyways, how are you, Caroline? Feels like we haven't talked in forever?" I glared at him. I don't think I had ever hated him more than in that moment.

"I'm fine. Yeah, it has been a while." I added a bit of edge to my voice. I didn't want to talk with him. I didn't even want him in my house.

"How's school been treating you?" I rolled my eyes.

"Better than it's been treating you lately." He took damage from my words, understanding that I was alluding to all of the gossip going around social media and the school ever since the breakup. Unlike him, I stayed out of the gossip subject pool. People barely realized my existence at the school. Some girls occasionally got jealous of how close I was to Rhys, but I wasn't talked about a lot.

"Fair enough. I guess I never learned the art of flying under the radar like you do." His comment got a chuckle out of him. If we got the chance to talk after eating, he was done for.

"How's that English project going?" I sighed.

"Matter of fact, We've got to turn it in the day we get back from break so I think I'm gonna go work on that some. Good to see you Rhys. With how absent you've been lately, I would've thought you were a ghost. Good day." I jumped up from the table and flew up the stairs towards my room. I wanted him to just go away to that stupid boarding school and never say goodbye to me. I wanted nothing more to do with him. But of course, fate has a funny way of going against what we want and instead giving us what we need. He excused himself from the table as well, saying goodbye to my folks. He ran up the stairs and knocked on the door.

"Caroline?"

"Bug off!" He chuckled.

"Nice to see you too. Can I come in, or am I too distracting to your 'project work'?" I hesitated, trying not to smile at his humor.

"No..." He sighed.

"I'll take that as a yes." He opened the door anyways. I was crying when he opened the door. At the sight of him and being away from my parents, I couldn't take it anymore. I was heading for a breakdown. He was taken aback by my tears and immediately approached me, cautious not to make me cry more. He swiftly wrapped his arms around me, hugging me and trying to comfort me. He didn't say anything and I stayed silent as well, he just held me in his arms, trying to calm me down. He finally spoke, breaking the silence of my tears.

"You've got no jams." It was an inside joke, a humorous reference to his favorite kpop group. I couldn't help but crack a smile. He always knew how to cheer me up and I both hated and loved him for it. I could never stay mad at him for long.

"I'm working on stealing them back. Better watch out." I retorted.

"Oh? Is that so?" He pulled out his phone and began playing a song we both bonded over. I had been trying to learn the dance a long time ago to impress him since he liked to dance. But the problem is that I have two left feet. It was a fun attempt in theory, but in launching the idea, I just looked like a wiggling noodle. He started the easier beginning of the dance, smirking at me as an invitation to try and mirror him and dance with him. I rolled my eyes, not compliant at first. He started on the first verse, looking exactly like the guys in the video. I tapped my foot to the beat and bobbed my head, but I refused to dance. He looked at me and sang with one of my favorite lines as he followed the moves.

"You got no jams, Caroline." I rolled my eyes and found that in an instant, I was dancing next to him. I followed his steps and mirrored them as best I could. I still looked like a noodle, but at that point, I didn't care. I was dancing for the joy of being next to him. We finished up the last move, twisting around and throwing a thumbs up over our shoulders. I found myself laughing and smiling with him in contrast to the me that was a crying, aggravated mess before. In a moment, without warning, I was hugging him. I tried to hold back my tears, my eyes watering.

"Why do you have to leave? Why can't you stay?" He sighed and took a moment to think before he spoke.

"I'm sorry, Caroline. My parents aren't there for me like yours are. They don't want me in the house. They're sending me away and it's not in my control. I wish I could stay..." He didn't break the hug, we just sat there in silence, hugging each other for what seemed like ages. My lips were a bastion, holding back the one question I wanted to ask. This was my chance to ask him, the only chance I would ever have. I battled with myself and my willpower. All I had to do was get an answer from him and then I would be satisfied and I would let him leave me forever. But my mind controlled my body, holding back my tongue. He shifted a bit and I took an opportunity in the broken silence of noise.

"Could you ever love me back?" My words took him by surprise. He slowly pulled away from the hug and looked at me with eyes that spoke a million words. In that moment I knew, his lips were a bastion too. I only hoped he would return the favor of being brave enough to say what was on his mind. I saw the battle in his mind, the same thing I had just gone through, as his eyes held back a river. His lips finally parted, breaking the boundaries holding him back and he spoke.

"I could...if only I didn't have to leave..." He watched my face drop in a loss of all hope and the tears started falling. He wouldn't cry the river behind his eyes, but a few tears had to be shed. There was only more silence between us after the answer I needed to hear. Even though it was what I needed to hear, it was not the answer I had wanted to hear. But what did I expect? Those girls had been right about one thing, he wasn't built for long distance. His phone went off, causing a noise something like a squeak to erupt from my voice, startled by the sudden break in the somber silence. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and went into the hallway, almost closing the door behind him. I watched him, peaking through the door and listening in.

"Hello?...Oh, hey Mom...I just came over to Caroline's place to share one last meal with her family, you know, like I used to?...Yeah, we said our goodbyes...What do you mean?..." I saw his face shift dramatically, a small smile full of shock and relief slipping on to his face. He still let a few tears shed, but these tears were full of joy opposed to sorrow.

"Are you serious?...Thank you, Mom...I will...Love you too! See you later!" He ran back in the room and hugged me, scaring me a bit. I squeaked again, something I tended to do occasionally.

"Is this a final goodbye hug or what?" I asked lightheartedly, trying to make a joke to oppress my anxiousness to hear what the call was all about. He laughed a bit and smirked when he pulled out of the hug and looked at me.

"No...it's a hug that's asking if you want to go get coffee and have a proper waffle house date tomorrow morning?" My eyes lit up. Did that mean...?

"Are you...staying?" He nodded, embracing my joy with yet another hug. I could see the gears turning in his head as he smirked and pulled out of the hug.

"You know, I'm getting a bit tired of all this hugging and last I recall, I still need to get you back for the last night when we went to waffle house." With that, he leaned in and kissed me. I felt my entire body warm up, my heart beating a little faster. That moment was all I had ever dreamed of and he was the one that initiated it. When we finally pulled away, we smiled at each other and went downstairs holding hands.

As Christmas day approached, we got even more snow. Rhys was over once again for breakfast with my family. We opened presents together. He was practically another member of the family. We sat near the tree, listening to the fireplace crackle and roar and looking out the window at the snow. I thought back on my realization of "White Christmas" and the meaning behind it. A beautiful expression of my joy took over my face. I softly sang as Rhys and I held our arms around each other, looking out the window.

"I'm dreaming of a white Christmas." It was snowing outside and everything was serene and calm in the house.

"Just like the ones I used to know." I was never so thankful that I was getting to spend my Christmas day with him.

"Where the tree tops glisten and children listen to hear sleigh bells in the snow." He smiled and closed his eyes, listening to me sing the classic carol to him, just like I used to when we were younger.

"May your days be merry and bright." Everyday had always been merry and bright with him by my side. He sang the next line with me softly. Everyday from then on, every Christmas, every other holiday, he would be there with me, just like I had always wanted. The truth was, he was my white Christmas, my only Christmas wish, and the holiday I had always loved the most granted me that one wish.

"And may all your Christmases be white."