|noncanon, rewritten, edited|

Staring contest, it was a fun game, one he rarely ever won though with what he tends to challenge. A wall, a toy, the cats he sees in the alley, the paintings hanging on the school walls, the devil statue Dr. Cawley... Mr. Cawley kept back home. They all had their winning streaks well into the hundreds, all to zero.

Izzy gave him his first win just the day after they met. Since then, his challenges made him champion. Their face offs so easy to enjoy, especially with how fun it was to watch her slip up at his serious face as she closed her bleary eyes with a smile and laughter. She had such a grin.

He never thought he could care so much about seeing one person smile.

They spent countless summer days together. Showing each other things, drinking from her flask in his car, listening to music on the grassy ground, eating together late at night, trying to make each other's drinks come out their nose, and making fun of one another's little tendencies, they'd talk about the world and the future and what might've been had they met sooner or later, of what might be beyond their lives at school and home, beyond their tiny town where God seemed to find harmless fun all the more horrible than anywhere else. Where they were free from their past if they could only count the days down to leave.

They cried. Few times, but they have together, in the comfort of each other's presence. They rarely spoke those times. Their hurt too great for words, but their arms were open regardless. Things weren't pleasant anywhere, or always, no matter how pretty the scenery.

Maddox twisted the doorknob one, two, three times. Opening the door carefully as he stepped out in a happy hum. Summer was ending, and genuinely, he couldn't be sadder, but that didn't mean that the day would have to be a bad one. No. He had plans. A day with Izz, some breakfast first, then a spin by the mall, and the rest of the day for them to decide and burn as they pleased. A good day. A fun day. A happy day.

Without a word to the quiet figure that sat sipping at his coffee at the end of the table Maddox sat obediently. He didn't have to say anything. He was never really forced to follow this routine, but he did need to be seen. So there he sat. Silently holding a cup of apple juice he had no real craving for as the man sipped at the steaming cup in his hand, eyes looking over papers he had in a neat line across the polished wood. For a moment. He saw his face change without word or reason. Head in his hands. Air heavy and thick with tension. He blinked once before it changed again. Swallowing thickly as he picked up his own.

He looked up at the blond boy, then silently scribbles a few things here and there with his free hand, before delicately placing his pen down, and giving him a dismissing wave. Things felt different today. He didn't know how to explain it.

Maddox downed the juice as quickly as he could manage, trying not to taste the bitterness in it as he grimanced, said thank you, and left as fast as he could. Ready to hop into his car to go see her.

He tapped the cars handle. Four finger taps as he unlocked it twice with the little key remote in his hand, pulling it open and slipping inside with a hum. A light flickering.

The boy rarely questioned what he did and why. He was a creature of habit, unbreakable ones one would notice unless you lay and observe. Only the more obvious the longer you watch and look. Simply steadfast in the ways that gave him comfort, security,... surety.

The blond clicked the dead radio to life and sighed. Strange music filling the car, songs he hasn't heard before as he drove off down the ways he remembered his best, and maybe, only friend lived.

The drive was swift, it passed by him quicker than he expected as he found himself dazed off in her driveway. Staring hard at the lights on her garage that where on in broad daylight. Blinking once before he got out of the car, sun spots burnt into his vision as he tried to walk up the sidewalk lit up brightly by the sunshine.

Someone whistled as he raised a hand to knock on her door. Right behind his head as he turned on his heel. Hand already into fists as his eyes went wide with panic.

Curiously falling on the woman sitting on the hood of his car.

"Hey, sunshine. She isn't home."

He scrunched up his nose. Brows furrowed in clear, childish disapproval of her touching his things as he spied her from where she sat. She was tall, thin, dark red hair all tied up in a silky bun. She wore glasses, the cat eye kind Izz liked, dark lenses reflecting as much amusement as her curled red lips. Stranger?

"Who are you to tell?" Maddox asked. Not wanting to get any closer as he relaxed his stance. He could just go up and knock to find out. But this lady coming out of nowhere suddenly confused him brutally. She wasn't in his routine. She was new. A different kind of new.

And honestly, he didn't like that.

She slid off the car, her black heels suddenly stealing his attention as they clacked on the concrete. She was older than him, but he was having a lot of trouble figuring out by how much. She looked like a secretary from one of those old noir films he catches Cawley watching in the TV room late night. Like she was from an old picture he'd seen before.

A cigarette jut out from her red lips. Smoking as she puffed a small plume his way. He didn't see that before. And made a point to couch as the smoke fanned across his face.

"I'm familiar, one could say." She hummed as she stood in front of him, holding out a cigarette, a new one, for him to take. He didn't see this in her hand either until now. And while he looked at it blankly, he raised his hands and immediately refused.

"I don't smoke-"

"I know," Her words drawled out. "I remember you eating one when you where 13. But try it. Properly this time." She insisted. Watching his jaw drop. Making her smile all the wider.

"How-"

"Want to go for a drive? We can take my car." She interrupted as she put the cigarette into his mouth as his lips parted, shutting it before holding his head with both hands, gently pulling him forward so that their cigarettes touched. Lighting it with hers before taking his hand.

She didn't seem to be asking as Maddox filled his lungs with smoke.

They were in the car before he could exhale, blazing through the town, houses he couldn't even recognize running by as his breath caught in his throat.

He choked. Coughing hard and stuttering out how he wanted to go back to Isadora's place, much to the useless effort it was at this stranger who whisked him away in the middle of his confusion.

"I'm Jackie by the way." She answered before he could ask.

"I've been with... well, watchin, you for a long time now, Mads. I've been wanting to talk to you for a while." She said quietly. "At least I think that why I'm here."

"But how? I don't know who you are, were you a nurse? Do you know Dr. Cawley-" She made a quick dodge as if something came infront of them on the road, rocking him in his seat as he hit the door.

"-do you remember the swing set those girls pushed you out of?" Her ruby lips moved. Nothing there as she pushed her dark glasses further up her face.

"Yes, but-"

"The shelf that crushed you hand?" She sped forward. The winding street suddenly getting longer to him, woods on either side as they blitz through. Maddox suddenly felt that phantom pain in his hand he held tightly closed around the cusion of his seat.

"Y-Yes, can we slow down-" He felt his heart race as her foot seemed to flatten on the pedal, the engine giving everything it had as he squeezed his eyes shut. But she wouldn't quit talking-

"The bir-"

"STOP-" His hands reached for the wheel. Both fighting it before he wretched it to his side. The tilt and the force too much, the car tipping-

They sat still. The sporty car she drove sitting peacefully in the middle of the woods. Maddox's heart racing as he still clutched tightly to the wheel. Expecting impact. More interuptions anything.

But he sat behind the wheel. In his own car. His lungs burning as he heaved out a shuddering breath. Hitting the horn with his head as it blared into the empty wood.

"You're worried aren't you? For yourself?"

She stroked a hand through his hair. The touch calming. Soft. It made him tremble in fear. It was too much. Now, just now did he realize it.

"Yes..." He muttered. Swallowing thickly at the bile that rose in his throat.

"You didn't hurt her. You know that right?"

"Do I?" He said quietly. The way she looked at him last echoing in his mind. The ugly anger. The tears pouring down her face. The bruises wrapped around her neck.

"That wasn't your fault. It's what you have inside of you..." She cooed. Tugging his head to her chest. Tears soaking through the fabric as he shook. Skin crawling as his hands tried to wrap around her. Holding empty air. "It's what you had to do."

He looked back up. Standing outside. Sitting beside her on the hood of the car as she slipped the glasses off her face. She had his mom's eyes. The same crystal clear blue that always terrified him. The same blue he could always, always recognize.

"You're a monster, baby. It's just what you are." She said softly, almost the exact same words she told him that day. Hand tracing his face as she gently wiped the tears away. Looking into his red eyes as his gaze turned down.

"She's my favorite. My best friend, Jackie." He pleaded. A sob wracking through his chest as she tsked. Pushing the whispy blond hair out of his face before kissing his blond head, red lipstick smeared across the front. He should have known better from the moment he opened his eyes.

"You don't have any friends, Maddox."

Dr. Cawley sat beside him. The cot he set for him a depressing sight after the care he hoped would help the boy. His starch white clothes hanging off of him the same way they did when he was a young kid. Back in the same place this had started as he sobbed into the man's shoulder. Tears threatening his own eyes as the nurses whispered just beyond the door.