Stars are always a great company, or so I thought. At times like this, they sure can make me feel way lonelier than I originally am. When there are so many up there, together, how can I help and not feel like the loneliest creature on this planet? But tonight, I feel empty in a way like I never have before. Empty. How can emptiness be so heavy?

Sighing, I look up at the stars with tired eyes that reflect my tired heart and with a brave step, I am standing at the dangerous edge of my terrace. My throat sure is dry as I glance down at the tiny figures on the busy streets, cars driving like blood in veins. With a pounding heart, I blink a couple more times and every time I do, the blood in my body turns ice. The wind at this height teases my frizzy hair to which I pay no mind because right at this moment, I am craving for a home even though I stand atop it.

"What the bloody hell?" The breath is caught in the middle of my throat as someone with a powerful force pulls me down and it takes me a whole minute to register that I am still very much alive, fallen on the concrete like a broken branch of a tree.

Gawking around, I catch the sight of a panting girl who unfortunately happens to be my cousin; the same one who is passing me the most disappointed look ever.

"Are you a bloody freak?" Mukti glares while I still am on the ground with hand on my heart, quite not over what just happened. "Suicide is not a fucking option! I know you are mad at your parents about your wedding and all that shit but what were you even thinking, moron?"

"One minute-I-sui-suicide?" Frowning, I blink still maintaining my posture which is on the ground. "You thought I was committing suicide?"

Seeing me give her the most surprised look of my life, the savage exterior of the girl falters in exchange for a confused one. "Wait, isn't that what you were doing? ...Dying?"

Pushing my butt behind so that my back can rest against the wall, I stare at her with my hands hugging the knees, brought to my breasts. "Mukti, I am habituated with you not paying attention to anything that doesn't concern you and for the record, I don't concern you. Never did! I would prefer having the equation between us the same and for the first and last time, no, I was not about to jump and die."

"Oh!" She gives a rude shrug. "Then why on earth were you standing at the edge which in every way is suicidal, by the way." She stresses to prove her point, pulling a pack of cigarettes out of her ripped boyfriend denim. "And to set to the record straight, please don't confuse my running to save you as in any manner being a concern for you. Please! I came here to smoke and had I let you jump off before my eyes, that would drive my parents and the law nuts."

"I never said I mistook you for the one to care about me." I shake my head with conviction. "And, since you asked, I usually-well sometimes, stand there to look at everything with a new point of view."

Lighting her cigarette, she blows out a thick layer of smoke, staring at me with the same displeased look like that of my parents. "Well then, there is no room for doubt that you are a full fledged psychopath."

Sighing at her remark, I turn my head up to look at the stars again. Having no company is any day better than being with the wrong company which she is since my childhood. I don't hate Mukti Vardhan, but our very ideas of one another have not been right since day one. She is this badass girl to whom I am still this little lamb; too delicate for her liking. And, to me, she is this cold hearted bitch who has done nothing but mock me in my entire struggle of existence. But, irrespective of our intense disliking towards one another, there is one thing common which the two of us can never deny. We both are sick and tired of our parents. Bitter, but that is the truth.

Mukti's parents i.e. my mother's sister and her second husband pay no heed to their daughter or any of her actions. Since the time Mukti was born, I don't think she ever found any of her parents by her side except that one time when she was almost dying from cruel drug abuse which is a recent incident. In the beginning, I witnessed Mukti struggle for her parents' attention. Hard. But, as time passed and she turned into an adolescent, their indifference hardened her and she understood that no matter what she does, the fate will be the same. Thus, she gave up and now all that Mukti Vardhan can be defined by are : excessive parties, excessive sex and excessive piercings.

Me, on the other hand, is this caged bird who simply looks at the sky above dreaming of a freedom that she may never taste. My parents, unlike Mukti's, gave all of their attention to me; the attention that measure the oxygen you inhale and choke you to death. Unlike Mukti who has the freedom to do whatever she pleases, I, suffer with shackles around my feet. Starting from what I eat to what I wear to where I go and what I do, nothing ever has been my choice. The only things my parents care about is that I doll up well, behave elegantly, nurture all the polished tactics which are sure to attract one hell of a successful man one day. That's it. My existence to them is limited to this liability which only will come to an end once I marry for a luxurious life and apart from that, whatever makes me happy is just another stupidity to them.

"So, is it true this time?" Mukti's voice calls me to look at her. "Your folks are sending you for good?"

Not saying a word, I tear my eyes away from her and onto my manicured nails which was again an imposition of my mother because according to her, a girl with undone hair, clothes with creases and nails filled with dirt never is able to attract a proper man or his mother.

"If you heard it then why ask me?" I answer not wanting to really discuss this with her.

"Dhruv Vedant." Mukti mentions the name trying to bring out a strong reaction out of me. "Youngest CEO of this country. Filthy rich. The one with uncountable number of properties and who is to inherit a mighty fortune from his father." She pauses when I give her a bitter look. "Don't you give me that look! That is all what your and my parents are discussing downstairs."

"Let me be, Mukti." I speak softly. "I'm not in a mood for being the subject of your mockery right now."

"Who is mocking you!" She sneers, clearly enjoying this. "Anyway, it's not like you are going to stand against your dear parents."

"I don't have a choice." I grit, at my incapacity.

"Oh, I remember, you are this little spineless lamb." Blowing out a thick smoke, she smirks looking at the sky. "You are so pathetic." She shakes head to herself. "It's never like you had no choice. You always had one but what you don't have is guts."

Rolling my eyes, I want to shout and tell her to shut that mouth. "You know, Mukti, all your life what you have done is judge me but let me repeat what I always tell you, it's very easy to judge but it's not that easy to step into others' shoes and handle things."

"You can't freaking compare your guts to mine." Her eyes are full of denial.

"Why, because you think you are too cool for that? You go around creating a mess of your life as you please. But you know what, you too run away from reality. You choose to stay high and drunk because you can't face anything." I say in a very polite tone.

"Hell!" She titters as if what I said is extremely absurd. "Nor do you face any of your realities, honey. And for the sake of argument, even if I agree that I am wasting my life, then at least, I am doing it out of my own choice. You don't even have the permission to breathe. I do pity you."

"Pity me all you want but—"

"You know, it's a shame!" She interrupts tossing the cigarette bud on the ground and crushing it with her boot. "You will never get to know yourself because all your life you will wait for things to fall into place as you always have. Funny, till this day you are depending upon your parents' permission to live. Tomorrow, a husband will be replacing them. Come on then Nandini, stop self-musing and go downstairs like a perfect little doll your Mama expects you to be and play house with a rich guy."

Before I can say a word, she leaves the place and her diminishing footsteps tell me that she is gone. Eyes full of moisture, I bring my knees closer to my breast and rest my forehead, weeping. I am dying alive. I am breathing alone and most definitely, caught in a never ending nightmare.

Emptying my heart for a lengthy period of time, I feel weakness take over me and thus forcing my body to walk down the stairs, I intend to hide myself in my room until I hear my name being called from behind. Turning around slowly, I spot my aunt, i.e. Mukti's mother flash me a smile and with a wave of her hand, requesting me to join them at the table. No matter how much I want, I can't rely say no especially seeing how my mother is glaring at me. Reluctant, I sit on the chair that our staff pulls out for me and lay my eyes on all the play cards, filled up ashtrays and glasses of alcohol. I continue sitting there for as long as my aunt and her husband stay, wanting to go deaf from all the praises of this Dhruv Vedant and how grateful my parents are to my aunt and her husband for getting me this relationship.

Well.

After the guests depart, I watch my parents converse which is obviously about my wedding. Purposely, I kill a little more time to get myself a chance to have a talk and change their minds which I absolutely have to. If I don't fight this, all will be done for.

Mother noticing me while undoing her diamond earrings, asks why am I not on bed yet and I walk up to them, in the middle of our huge hall and repeat the words in my mind again and again.

"Mamma, this..wedding..." I pause to look at their expressions which are full of alarmed attention. I gulp. "I mean.."

"Sweetheart, it's already one in the night. Whatever you want to say, can it be said tomorrow?" Father requests, yawning.

"I'm afraid I may not be having the same strength tomorrow to say things that I want right now." I let out a nervous, soft chuckle.

Mother studies me with all seriousness. "Go ahead. Anyway, we expect what you have to say has nothing to do with you changing our minds about Dhruv."

Blinking eyes blankly, I remind myself that I need to speak. "Since it's a marriage, a-a forever thing, I think I should have a say in this. I..don't want to get married at this point of my life, Mamma."

My words seem to have knocked off the tipsiness out of my father because the two of them are looking at me, highly strung. "Dhruv is a very good choice. He is not only successful but also a very sensible man. He not only brings you an equal status but also a very secured future. We are your parents and we will never choose someone bad for you. We have handpicked him, isn't that enough?"

Moistening my lips, I nod maintaining my politeness because behaving like Mukti is sure not going to get me anywhere with my strict parents. "I can never doubt that. And, I am sure he is really that great as I heard about him but..it's just me. I am not ready for a marriage right now."

"Why, are you still hung up on that poverty-stricken Maddy who left you behind, alone, hanging in a forlorn relationship?" Mother's words echo in my mind, and my hands ball up in fists as the pain suddenly gets too overpowering. Inhaling deeply, I fight hard stopping my tears to roll down.

"It's not about him." I deny in a whisper as my voice is too pale to be found. "I-I just don't see myself prepared for any commitment right now. I want to prove my worth to myself, that I am not as useless as Mukti takes me to be."

"Mukti?" Mother's frown deepens and father acts too tired for this right now. "Is she the one to have provoked you? Irrespective of my blinding love for my sister and respect for her husband, I must admit their daughter is one such minx who poisons everything she touches. I tolerate her only and only for the sake of my sister but haven't I told you to stay away from that trollop? That girl neither has respect for her parents, let alone any elder, nor for her own life. Such a disgrace to family name!"

I accept that I passionately dislike Mukti but here I want to point out to my parents that had her parents not covered up all of the messes she made since childhood with money and teach something proper to her, she may not have become what she is today.

However, I also take mental note to weigh my words because if I don't flatter their egos, it is my life which is going to be ruined. "My opinion has nothing to do with her, Mamma. It's only that I want to achieve something on my own first."

"What are you even saying? Look around! You are a Murthy! And, soon going to become a Mrs.Vedant. What else can a girl want? What more do you want to achieve?" Mother's exasperation is intensifying every passing second.

Shaking my head lightly, I muster up the courage to counter. "But that's just my surname." Mother widens her eyes. "What is Nandini? Nobody knows her other than being a multimillionaire's sophisticated daughter. Or-or later, as someone super wealthy's quiet wife. I want to become so much more than my last name, Mamma, just like you." I plead earnestly.

"Don't you compare yourself to me, Nandini." Mother scorns. "I had studied law, picked up a very smart career option for myself and today, I am one of the best Criminal Lawyers of this country. I am not like you who keeps her head in the clouds."

"I see this discussion is going nowhere." Father interrupts as his tiredness is too visible to hide. "Go to your room, sweetheart. Rest well. I'm sure when you wake up, you will see the broader picture as to why your parents decided what we have."

"I don't want to get married, Papa. Why can't I ever have a say about anything in my life?" This, probably, is the most I have spoken in contradiction to my parents and I can clearly see the effect burning fiercely on their faces.

"What was that?" Mother takes a step forward and I coil. "We let you choose once and you massacred your career. What a great choice did you make, child! Cello! Show me a single Cello player in this country who has made it big."

My lips quiver yet I dare enough to speak. "It depends, Mamma. The definition of success differ from you to me."

Before I can weigh the things to say next, the sharp sound of a palm thrashing my cheek to the other side echoes in every corner of this huge hall. Appalled and humiliated, I stand with my hand pressed to my burning cheek; eyes red with disapproval.

"Why would you do that?" After passing mother a look, father wraps an arm around my shoulder but I am far too inconsolable to care for such gestures now. "It's all right, honey." Father speaks softly to me. "Mamma is angry right now. The more you talk, the more things will get hard for all of us. You better go and rest this night and trust us. Go, sweetheart. Good night."

My mind is too clouded by the recent act of violence to focus on the little peck my father plants on my forehead without noticing how my eyes are running rivers. My body starts trembling in no time because this is the first time ever that either of them has raised a hand on me. When fearfully I catch mother's stare, I find her to be shooting daggers for questioning her choices. Breathing in, I clumsily go back to my room and in no time does my back slide against the closed door as I burst my emotions out.

For some time, I don't wake myself from crying and continue till my throat gives up. Carrying my heavy body to the reading table, I flop on the chair with my mind running a million thoughts a moment. What if they really get me married? In which era am I living? What did I ever do to them? Why would they treat their own child this way? Why won't they listen to me? Who is this Dhruv guy? How do I fix everything now? How do I escape this reality? Is there even a way? Is there someone to help me?

For a moment, I consider ending my life but the thought is too cowardly. I am not this coward to die. Because if I do, Mukti and all those people who have called me a milksop would be smirking at my dead body. For once, I need to be more than a scaredy-cat and act like I own my goddamn life. If this time I don't, the next time I will be crying is going to be for a lifetime.

"What can I even do?" Frustrated, I bang my forehead on the table but in between my skin and the satin cover of the table, is a laptop touchpad which immediately lights up, welcoming my attention to the research article I was last doing on a certain musical note before my aunt and her husband showed up, unannounced.

But beside it, there is an advertisement which causes my eyes to go wide for a second.

Book Paris Flights now at extremely affordable prices

Pensive for a long minute with no thought of doing anybody harm, I exhale before bringing my finger on the touchpad; eyes fixed at the picture of tiny Eiffel Towel and just like on a whim, I click.