Lucan lifted his eyes from the pages of the book he was trying to read as his uncle walked into the kitchen. He studied Thaiter as he stood in the dim light of the oil-lamp and said, "What you all done up for?"

Grinning, Thaiter finished tucking his clean shirt into his trousers as he said, "It's me birthday and I'm off ta the Cosmopolitan for a couple."

Lucan leaned back in his chair and laughed. "So, what was your reason for all those other Friday nights?"

Thaiter raised his eyebrows and rubbed his chin. "You'll see I'm cleaned up and shaven. I might get lucky tonight."

"Ah... yeh! That one night a year. I remember." Lucan laughed harder. "But I don't reckon I like ya chances."

"I'll live in hope, won't I?" Thaiter winked. He lifted his dirty worn hat from the table and placed it on his ginger red head as a gunfighter might do before his last stand, and then ambled across the wooden floorboards.

Lucan stared after him, the door creaked shut in protest to its years of neglect. He grinned to himself and let his eyes drift back to the pages of his book.

*****

Thaiter nodded to a few of the men, leaned against the bar and waited to be served. James Gibbs, the publican, was in deep conversation with a man who had a fancy case, which contained a pile of papers. The lamp light cast eerie shadows across their faces. Thaiter wondered who the stranger was and what was so important that it had James keeping his customers waiting.

"Hey, James! A man could die of thirst waiting for a drink around here."

James looked up and nodded. He served Thaiter, and then went back to the conversation he had been having.

Taking his beer with him, Thaiter sat at his usual table with Hugh Munro the blacksmith, William Paton the baker and Old Tom Bolch. "What's goin' on there?"

Will glanced toward the bar. "Some townie bloke tryin' to sell insurance. He came to the bakery this mornin'."

Frowning, Thaiter said, "What ya mean... insurance?"

William took a gulp of his drink, and then said, "You pay him so much money every year and if somethin' happens to your place, like a fire or something they'll give ya enough money to build yourself another one."

"Jeeze dat don't sound right ta me. How much money he tell ya you'd have ta pay?"

Will shrugged his shoulders. "To tell the truth, Thaiter, I wasn't taking much notice. He came as I was getting me loaves out of the oven and the bloody dog was havin' a go at 'im, so I was a bit occupied at the time." Will glanced over his shoulder towards the stranger, and then turned back to the men around him and grinned. "Ya know the silly bastard didn't stop talkin' the whole time and didn't spot I wasn't taking in what he was saying. He didn't even notice Boxer had chewed half 'is leg off either."

They laughed, and then started a game of poker. "Did you hear Jacky Norman's been at it again?" Hugh said as he dealt the cards.

"What's he done this time?" Tom took a swig of his beer.

"Knocked off Florence Desmond's chooks." Hugh laid the last of the cards on the table and picked up his hand. "Killed all but three, and then cut down the hen house."

"Lanigan should do something about him," Will said as he picked up his hand.

"Probably got to do with bein' an aboriginal," Old Tom said. "They live different to us." He paused. "I reckon the way life is now don't sit right with him."

Will grinned and jerked his head toward the bar. "Bit like that insurance fellow. Life don't sit right with him either." The table of men roared with laughter.

Thaiter went to the bar to refill their glasses. "Come on, James. It's me bloody birthday today and I'm mighty thirsty."

The townie smiled and stepped toward Thaiter with his hand held out. "Clancy Dutton from Dutton and Doyle Insurance. Many happy returns, Mister..."

Thaiter gingerly took the man's hand. "Hayes... Thaiter Hayes."

Clancy moved closer and leaned against the bar. "Nice to meet you, Mister Hayes. I'm here in town to tell you good folks about the wonderful insurance package Dutton and Doyle are offering."

Raising his hands, Thaiter stepped back and said, "No use talkin' ta me, Mister. I don't own no business."

Clancy smiled, moved closer once more and slapped Thaiter gently on the shoulder. "You don't have to own a business to have insurance, Mister Hayes. Dutton and Doyle sell life insurance too."

Doubt cast itself over Thaiter. He glanced at James Gibbs and called, "Gibbs... I ain't no octopus. Give us a tray would ya!" Thaiter tried to pretend Clancy wasn't there jabbering on but

Clancy Dutton didn't seem to notice. He continued to explain why every man should have insurance of one kind or another.

James grinned and placed Thaiter's drinks on the tray.

Coughing into his hand, Thaiter said, "Look, Mister Clancy..."

"Dutton. The names Dutton. Clancy Dutton." He grabbed Thaiter's hand once more and shook vigorously. "Thaiter I'm so pleased to be able to have this opportunity to talk to you about the wonderful insurance package Dutton and Doyle are offering you robust working men. Remote places like Irvineshore don't get..."

"Irvinebank!"

"Yes, yes Irvinebank, don't get such wonderful offers everyday like us city folks. So, Dutton and Doyle thought why not make the effort, let hard working men like yourself have the same opportunity, the same protection against disaster. After all it is men like you who are the back bone of our society. If it weren't for men like you, Thacker the country..."

"Thaiter! The names Thaiter!"

"Yes, yes er... Thaiter... please forgive me I've met so many men... interested men today and... well... as you will probably appreciate, names are rolling all over the place in my head. Now as I was saying. Dutton and Doyle understand the needs of men just like you and that's why I'm here, to spread the word, so to speak." He slung his head back and laughed, turned his body to allow himself to address the entire room and said, "Perhaps I should have been a priest..."

Thaiter took the opportunity to escape the clutches of Clancy Dutton. He grabbed the tray of drinks and sat down at his table with a sigh of relief. Old Tom was laughing into his cards. Hugh hid his grin with his hand but William Paton laughed openly.

"Told ya, Thaiter. The man doesn't have ears in his head."

Shaking his own head, Thaiter looked back toward the bar where Clancy Dutton had Herbert Armstrong, the manager of Jack and Newell's Merchant Store, cornered. He didn't like the sound of the stranger's voice. Something in its tone told him this smooth-talking townie was a liar. Here to swindle the honest working locals out of their hard-earned cash.

"If the bastard comes anywhere near me again, I might find it terrible tough not to put a fist in dat big mouth of his."

It wasn't many hours later, that Clancy Dutton approached their table. The men's card game had intensified. Thaiter's mood had declined due to his alcohol intake and loss of funds. He leaned back in his chair, folded his arms across his chest and looked Clancy up and down. He was a tall weedy man, whose sharp pointed features could be almost feminine if it wasn't for the five o'clock shadow on his chin. His suit was tailored, grey and expensive looking; signs of travel just visible. The grey bowler hat, which was perched on top of his head, was far too clean for Thaiter's liking. He didn't like men whose hats were spotless. His father had always said, if a man's hat don't have a mark on it, it means he ain't a real proper working man!

Thaiter had another theory.

It could be a man might have two hats. One for working and one for church and the like. Still... a man with two hats was a man who fancied himself a little too much. Thaiter didn't like men who fancied themselves.

He rubbed his leathered chin, sucked in his breath, unfolded his arms and stood up. "I've had enough of listenin' ta you, mister!" he bellowed as he lifted the edge of the table and pushed it aside. "I don't trust no man whose hat ain't got a speck of dust on it."

Clancy fell backwards as the table came crashing toward him. Will, Hugh and Old Tom staggered to their feet swearing and cursing. Cards, money and beer scattered everywhere.

"Jesus, Thaiter. What the fuck ya think you're doin'?" Hugh groaned.

"I'm sick of hearing the sound of this dandy's voice. Fuckin' insurance my arse. Stand up Mister Clancy from fuckin' Doyle and Dick cause I wanna see how much protection this insurance of yours can afford ya!"

As Thaiter kicked out at the upturned table, Old Tom whispered to Will Paton to run and get Lucan.

Thaiter bent down and grabbed Clancy by the collar. He pulled the man to his feet and held him by the shirt. "I'm a disaster about to happen, Mister Clancy Dandy Dutton, or whatever ya fuckin' name is. So... I'm waitin'..." Thaiter looked around the bar. "Like I say I'm waitin'. Any of you blokes see that insurance he's talkin' about? Is it comin' yet? To protect him!"

The room roared with laughter.

Thaiter pushed Clancy down on the floor, reached for one of the tumbled chairs and held it above his head. "Hey, Gibbs! Did you buy any of dat insurance from this fellow?"

James Gibbs came around from behind the bar. "That's enough, Thaiter. The man's just tryin' to make a living like the rest of us."

"Pig's arse he is! Sounds to me he's tryin' to swindle you mob out of ya dough".

James held his hand out to Thaiter. "How about you put me chair down or it'll be you that's out of dough."

Thaiter staggered backwards. Clancy now on his feet lunged at Thaiter and drove his fist into Thaiter's side. The chair fell and smashed to the floor. By the time Thaiter had righted himself Clancy had removed his jacket and was prancing around with his fists held up in front of him.

Thaiter grinned. "What the fuck is dat? The highland fling?"

"I'll show you I'm no dandy, sir." Clancy positioned himself in a Queensbury boxing stance. "Ready yourself if you please."

Thaiter stood flat footed, spat on his palms and raised his fists. He chuckled as Clancy shuffled backwards and forwards in small skipping steps. He found himself suddenly stung in the face by a sharp slap like punch. Thaiter shook his head in dismay.

Still skipping around in front of him, Clancy said, "That's just an example, sir, of what you will have to endure if you wish to continue."

"Jesus, Mother Mary and Joseph." Thaiter roared. He stepped forward and landed a heavy blow to Clancy's chin.

The crowd cheered. Clancy dropped to the floor like a sail in a lull.

In the excitement Thaiter lifted another chair above his head and slammed it down. He danced around the piece of broken furniture.

Gibbs grabbed him by the arm. "That's enough Thaiter, I ain't havin' ya smashin' up me place!"

Adrenalin pumping, Thaiter shrugged off his hold and thinking Gibbs was having a go at him shot a punch through the air. It caught James on the shoulder. With that another man took a swing at Thaiter.

Another circle formed as Thaiter turned on him and the brawl began.

*****

Lucan walked through the door as Thaiter knocked the man backwards with a blow to the stomach. He stepped between the two men and held his hand out to Thaiter. "How about ya give it a rest, eh?"

Constable Edward Lanigan slipped in behind Thaiter as he straightened up, swayed and eyed Lucan.

"Get outa me way, Lucan. This bastard wants a piece of me."

"Yeah, well you can finish it tomorrow, eh?"

Thaiter grabbed Lucan by the shoulder and tried to push him out of the way. Lucan stood his ground as Thaiter said, "I said get out of me fuckin' way, Lucan."

"And I said enough."

Pushing his body forward, Thaiter tried to shove Lucan away.

Lucan placed both hands on Thaiter's chest and shoved him backwards.

Thaiter stumbled. When he had regained his balance, he held his fists up in front of him. "So, it's come to dis has it? Me own family turnin' against me."

"You've had enough, Thaiter, so give it away," Lucan said.

Clancy came to and watched his short, bow legged opponent lunge forward throwing a punch at this new comer.

Lucan ducked and shook his head. "Ah... fuck, Thaiter. You're gonna make me hit ya... ain't ya?"

Clancy took a mental note to remember to offer the new comer some insurance.

Thaiter shaped up once more. "Come on, big man let's see what ya got."

"Ah... Jesus, Thaiter," Lucan groaned. "I just want to get back to me bed."

Thaiter lunged. Lucan sidestepped. He shook his head and waited for Thaiter to straighten up. When they faced each other, Lucan let go with a right hook that dropped Thaiter to the ground.

Then again, the new comer might not need insurance, thought Clancy.

Lucan lifted Thaiter and leaned him on the wall. He pressed his own body against Thaiter's to prevent him from falling, then bent and let Thaiter flop across his shoulders. He took hold of his hands and feet, shifted Thaiter's weight, stood and held him as if he were a sack of potatoes.

"Sorry, Mister Lanigan. He didn't mean no harm. His birthday and a few too many."

Lanigan nodded his understanding and pushed the door opened so Lucan could pass.

Turning sideways as he stepped through, Lucan looked toward James Gibbs. "I'll see he comes back tomorrow to make amends."

"No worries, Lucan." Gibbs bent and lifted the up turned table to its feet. "He's not a bad fella, old Thaiter." He smiled at Lucan. "Just a bit too much of the Irish Spirit every now and then."

*****

Thaiter woke aching and sore, he submerged his head in the barrel of water beside the back door. He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up.

"How are you feeling, Thaiter?"

"Ah... Constable Lanigan. I'm just on me way down to the pub to see Gibbs".

"There'll be no more of it will there, Thaiter?"

Thaiter shook his head. "You're a good man, Lanigan. I'm sorry bout the trouble I caused ya last night."

"No trouble for me, Thaiter, though it took Lucan a bit of effort to get you under control."

"Yeah." Thaiter rubbed his bruised stubbled chin, raised his eyebrows and smirked. "But hey... if I can give him a run then I mustn't be too past it."

"Just don't go making a habit of it, eh?" Lanigan laughed and slapped Thaiter's shoulder. He turned to walk away.

"Hey, Lanigan. How's that girl of yours? In Coolgarra isn't she?"

Lanigan beamed and nodded. "She's fine, Thaiter. We went and got engaged."

"Well, that's grand news, Lanigan." Thaiter stepped forward with his hand held out. "Maybe you and Lucan could get married on the same day. He's got a lady he's courting."

Lanigan laughed. "And I suppose you'd be the Master of Ceremonies, Thaiter."

"Not likely, Lanigan, not likely," Thaiter said with a chuckle.

Edward lifted his hand to signal his departure.

Thaiter turned back to the barrel of water and dunked his head once more.

Do we feel sorry for Clancy?

I had so much fun writing this chapter. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed showing Thaiter's irrational side. Hahaha.

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