"How are you feeling?" Luke pulls me behind an large set of trees away from the men I've just push out of my path.

I shake my head and gasp for air. "No... we have more important matters to talk about."

Luke scoffs and turns away. "Jean you had a panic attack in public. Right now you should be focusing on getting better and not running after me in a crowd of soldiers."

"Luke," I gasp once more. "You don't understand. You're mother, she wants you back. She's willing to massacre everyone I love to get you back."

Luke sits down on a rock road and runs his fingers through his hair. "Does it ever occur to you that I care about the same people you do?"

This can't be what he's taking away from this conversation. Lady is coming!

I squint and clear my throat in agitation. Luke doesn't understand, but anger coats my heart and shouts. "You don't care about the Immunis like I do."

What am I doing? This isn't important but I feel the need to push him in the dirt so he knows how it feels to be an outcast.

Luke freezes and stares daggers. "Are you joking? I sat rotting in prisons for them- for you!"

"No one asked you to Luke! You could have came with me but you tried to play hero and failed!" I instantly regret it.

Luke stands up and shakes his head. "You're right, I should've just followed you and abandoned by people. They need me too you know, not everything is about you. Stop playing the victim when we are all victims."

My mouth drops before it clenches. "You're people killed Roxy. They forced me out of my home and are they're torturing the Immunis. They are starving them, and using them as pawns in Lady's sick, cruel game. Pardon me if I am not so fond of them."

"They are forced to do those things! Lady is manipulating them."

"Like she is to you? Or did you just willingly walk back into her arms?"

"Wow," Luke shakes his head and turns away from me. "You are a terrible person. What happened to you? I can't believe I risked everything for a girl like you."

Tears burn my eyes. Not in anger or sadness, but the fact that what he is saying is true.

"You aren't a knight in shining armour either. Just a coward hiding behind a stupid black hood."

"I saved your life countless times. I am no more of a coward then the girl who shouts hollow threats at someone who cares about her. At least I don't push people away." Luke turns back and breathes heavily. "Sometimes you make me regret loving you."

His words hits the chip in my heart causing it to explode into a fine dust.

"I regret thinking I loved you when I didn't." I whisper lowly as tears pinch my eyes. My anger and frustration masks my pain and devastation, I can't show weakness beyond my strained eyes.

Luke lets a sharp, short breath past his lips. "That's it, I'm done with your games. I'm tired of being caught in this riptide of yours. I'm breaking up with you. You're on your own."

"I would've been better off on my own in the first place."

Luke shakes his head and chuckles disbelief. "I can't believe you. You always have to get the last word in."

I close my eyes and sniffle. "You should go."

"Yeah I should. When you get the chance, tell Jean her family needs her. Not this disease pretending to be a cure." Luke turns away and walks, fuming of heartbreak.

I stumble to a wall and let a few tears trail down my cheek. This time Luke is really gone, I've finally push him away.

Why can't I be honest and vulnerable? Instead I use anger and hate to protect my heart, but it's armour with needles sewn inside.

     《《《《《《《《》》》》》》》》

I stare at the blood orange sky. The sun has disappeared and I have less then an hour, but it doesn't matter. I've decided that Luke mustn't go back to Lady.

Another letter has sailed to my feet in the crowd of people. I don't bother looking up, instead I pick it up and flip it over.

Dearest Undergrounder,

It looks like you've made your decision. And so have we.

If by chance you change your mind within the next few minutes to deliver Luke to us, we will leave peacefully. Meet us at the cave with Luke at dark.

This is your last chance to do what is right. If you still refuse, prepare for the consequences because they will not be merciful.

Regards,
The Bellator Council

I crumple the letter and go to shove it into my sweater pocket with the rest- but I don't have my sweater.

My eyes widen and I look around, where did I put it last? How could I be so stupid to let the letters slip out of my grasp?

I run through my day and scan my memories. I woke up, had a panic attack with my sweater on. I let Alaric take me someplace private and I fell asleep with the letters. I woke up.... and I had no sweater.

I bolt to Alaric's home, remarkably I remember where to go, passing vines and trees. I burst through his wooden door and let my eyes fall onto the slumped figure, hands running through his hair and elbows resting on the table. In front of Alaric lays all my blackmail, the letters in front of him like mixed puzzle pieces.

"This is why," Alaric whispers huskily. "This is why you had a panic attack. These threats, this pressure that you have been cracking under all along... and I never noticed."

"Alaric," I whisper back. My hands shake and I clench the new letter in my hand. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry for lying to me?" Alaric raises his eyes to meet mine, teary and lost. "You came from underground, that's why they call you an Undergrounder. Correct?"

My throat swells. I lost Luke today, I can't lose Alaric too. I nod and approach him. "I'm so sorry."

"I trusted you Jean. I trusted you when you aimed your bow at me when you were blindfolded.  When you shot an arrow at the man behind me, and when you almost sacrificed my life. You don't have to hide anything from me, but you do." Alaric diverts his gaze to the ground.

I drop to my knees and stare up at him. "Alaric, you are so important to me. I couldn't bare the thought of losing you. Thinking about telling you that I grew up never knowing what sunshine felt like, or how it feels to roll in the grass. That didn't feel like an option. I couldn't tell you because I was afraid if I did you'd... leave."

"You think of me that lowly?" Alaric looks right through me and shakes his head. "You think I'm the man who'd abandon a friend because they grew up underground?"

"No," I choke on my words. "I was wrong to assume that. To think that you're a man who would leave because I was different. I am always so wrong all the time and I keep messing up the good things in my life."

Alaric stands and I stay on my knees watching his feet. Tear well in the corners of my eyes and I raise my hand to my mouth to suppress a sob. "Alaric," I look up. "I am so sorry."

Alaric bends down and brushes a piece of hair behind my ear, "I forgive you. I don't know how, but you have managed to make me a fool. You keep betraying me and I keep forgiving you."

I rest my forehead to his and cry, "I promise you I have no more secrets, just sad stories."

"We all have sad stories."

I stare into his eyes and he smiles sadly. Our noses touch before our lips do. It is soft and passionate, a reminder that Alaric hasn't given up on me yet. There still must be hope.

I let myself fall into his arms and melt into his lips. My hands move to his scruffy face and pull him closer. Everything feels right, but at the wrong time.

I pull away and push the rise guilt back down. Luke and I just broke up and here I am kissing another man. I'm truly vile.

Alaric must've notice the conflict in my eyes as he stands up, bringing me with him. "I'm sorry, that wasn't right of me. You and Luke have something going on and I crossed a boundary."

I shake my head and rest into Alaric's chest, my lips pressed together. "No, we broke up, I just need a little time."

Alaric nods and wraps his arms around me. "You must really love him."

I don't deny it. "I love a lot of people."

We stand in silence, his fingers trace my back and I finally pull away.

"So what did you do? How much time do you have left?" Alaric stares at the paper in my hand.

I sigh, "Lady wants Luke for a reason. So I decided to not give her what she wants." I pass the letter to Alaric and he opens it and reads. "Even if it means risking the safety of those I love."

Alaric's tender eyes hop from the page to me. "It's too late to get to the cave by dark anyways. I'll send some guards to your home to watch over you and your friends." He places the letter back down with the rest and stares at them. "She's on edge of she's willing to cross neighbouring territory for her son and risk a war."

I lean on the table as a cold shiver passed through me. "I'm willing to fight."

Alaric nods. "Me too."