jun woke up in his own bed a few days later. his concussion had subsided and the doctors had recommended a therapist for him so all that was left to do now was to follow through with their treatment plan while taking his medication as it was prescribed which meant no more skipping dosages. he would have to check in with his doctors regularly to make sure no serious damage was sustained and that the pills were working, but other than that jun had luckily made it through without any severe physical complications (well not unless you count the small scar on his forehead).

he brushed his purple hair back from his face and yawned, peeking at the sunshine as it crept its way into his bedroom from the window blinds. he had been in the hospital nearly all week from when he was admitted last friday and all the unrest that came with laying in that dreadful hospital bed for almost a whole week (five days to be exact) made him more than eager to get out into the world. it was now wednesday and although he had gotten his schoolwork from joshua, after their not so subtle cuddling session, jun still wanted to go to school in person.

he combed his hair and brushed his teeth quickly, excited to return to school instead of having to live through the guilt of his actions at home where his parents basically kept watch on him all day and night. when he arrived home on tuesday night jun could feel his mother's gaze as she watched him eat and supervised him while he took his pills. he also felt the anger jia had towards him and how his father looked at him with the most pitiful look he had ever seen his old man give him. it made him feel small, which was what he had been trying to avoid all along. the purple haired male hated when people looked at him in such a demeaning manner, it was why he had wanted to conceal his disease away from others in the first place.

"good morning jackson, jia." jun smiled at his siblings as he graced them with his presence in the dining room. jia barely acknowledged him, not even looking up to greet her older brother while their younger brother whose mouth was full of cereal struggled to yell out a morning greeting that wasn't muffled by his full mouth. he laughed lightly at jackson, ruffling his hair in a loving manner before taking a seat right next to jia who stood up to leave the table rignt when jun settled in. he frowned when he caught the back of her head as she rushed upstairs, thinking to himself that it was probably because she was disgusted by him to even be near him.

"you're up early. what would you like to eat? there's some leftover food from dinner I can heat up if you'd like." jun snapped out of his thoughts and looked up as his mother gave him a small morning greeting kiss on the cheek. then she leaned over with a small napkin in hand and used it to wipe her youngest son's mouth, giving jackson a big grin before the small first grader continued with eating his breakfast. jackson ceased to continue after a few bites because of their father walking in to sit with the family. he usually left earlier because he enjoyed being one of the first in the office, but jun assumed his father hadn't left yet because of him.

"that's okay with me." jun nodded, trying to ignore the way his father watched him carefully. the purple haired senior was beginning to regret even getting out of bed because of all the antagonizing glances being given in his direction. the only person who wasn't currently against him was jackson, but jackson didn't really understand the specifics behind jun's stay at the hospital so he didn't really count. "and I have to be up by this time if I want to get to school early. I want to apologize to my photography teacher and ask about re-presenting my project for her."

"you're not going to school for the rest of the week junnie, I thought we agreed you were going to stay home and rest." jun's mother set down a plate of soup in front of jun before standing next to him and furrowing her eyebrows at him. she could tell by a glance in her son's direction that he was dissatisfied by her response. it was hard to tell what jun was thinking most of the time but the older woman could recognize when her son was displeased by something. his nose crinkled and the corners of his mouth tightened whenever he was irritated by something that didn't go in his favor. "you need to rest your body. you may feel like you're ready mentally but physically your body took a toll. it's only two days jun, you'll be back at school next monday."

"I am fine, why don't you believe me for once?"

"how can I believe you when you were lying to me for all that time?" his mother raised her tone, clearly exhausted with this ongoing argument they just couldn't resolve. she had been holding all of her frustration in for the sake of making sure jun was better, but she just couldn't take it anymore. her son had done the unthinkable, he skipped out on taking the medicine that was supposed to keep him alive essentially. her jun would have never done that, but this wasn't her jun. to her the teenager sitting at the table was someone other than the cautious son she had raised. "in fact, how do I even trust you when you'd go as far as making your little sister lie for you to get your way? I know you are smarter than this jun, so why are you making such stupid mistakes-"

"that's enough honey." jun's father put an arm around his wife to stop her from speaking, causing her to finally look up at her son. jun had just about the biggest frown she had ever seen made by him on his face. her words had struck him hard; it was as if a sword had been thrown right into his chest and rendered him immobile. his jaw clenched and he spent a few seconds in silence, just staring at the soup in front of him as he processed what his mother had just said. his father sighed when he noticed the sad expression on his son's face and unlike his wife who had to rush upstairs to their room because of how overwhelmed she felt by this situation, he stood up to approach his son. "jun look, your mom is just-"

"I'm not hungry anymore." he answered quickly, not giving his father the chance at all to stop him as he slapped the older man's hand away, stood up and left the house. the purple haired high school student didn't go upstairs because he didn't want to see his mother at all instead he opted for going to the backyard of the wen house. it was clear he wanted to be left alone so his dad did just that and only watched from the inside of their house as jun buried his head into his knees after sitting under the large oak tree in their yard. the cold morning air froze the inside of his lungs and although it was painful, the pain relieved jun. the stinging feeling in his chest that the cold air left behind every time he exhaled a breath distracted him from the fact that he was a disappointment to his family. his mother had basically declared it right to him at the breakfast table so how could he not believe it?

jun had always felt so lonely as a kid; all the other kids got to play outside while his mother held him indoors to make sure he didn't get anymore sick, so he was always alone. even with two siblings jun felt like he was alone in the world, no matter how much time he spent with them he felt isolated by his disease. it was only more evident that he was right, after all he was sitting in the backyard with no one around to help him feel free from all of his concerns. it was only when everyone else in the house had left to either work or school that jun had finally felt like he could cry in peace.

the corners of his mouth loosened and finally dropped into the frown he was holding back before tears prickled his vision. nobody heard as he screamed out his pain for the world to hear. his lonely cries stretched into the air and even though jun knew nobody would come to his aid, in the back of his head he hoped that someone would come. in his head that perfect someone was joshua and in a perfect world the brunette would be right there to hold him while he cried into his chest safely. sadly jun found himself alone and that feeling was validated when he picked his head up from his knees and stared emptily at the blank space next to him.

= = =

jajaja I promise after I clear up this family subplot the junshua fluff will be endless, please bare with me until then ;-;

also has anyone listened to shinee's new album? so far my favorite songs are body rhythm and kiss kiss they're so 🥺