the way joshua kept staring at jun as if he was expecting some sort of answer or explanation from him really did not sit well with the purple haired individual at all. all the chinese male wanted to do now was sit down and work on their project. long gone was jun's excitement to show off his messy room to joshua instead of working; it was replaced with a feeling of uneasiness paired with awkward tensions between the two seniors.

there was a reason why jun never really spoke of his disease with others; pretty much the only people he trusted with knowing about it besides his family were mingyu and wonwoo. even then jun felt uncomfortable with them knowing because it gave them a constant reason to look down on him, to pamper him endlessly and guard him like a helpless animal. jun recognized the same pitiful looks they gave him when they were worried in joshua's face now, which is why he was only interested in keeping his head down and working. vulnerability was not something that jun was fond of and unfortunately for him that was exactly the state he was in right now.

the older brunette was more than worried though; he hadn't seen jun look so disturbed before. when the purple haired male frowned at them downstairs, he directed most of his anger towards his mother who briefly apologized before he led joshua upstairs to their room so that they could work on their project without any unwanted interruptions. it made joshua question the chinese male's relationship with his mother as well as what had gotten jun so irritated in the first place. perhaps it was about the hospital and jun not wanting joshua to know about his fear of them? or maybe it dug deeper than that, the brunette had no clue what it was.

"I know it's none of my business, but your mom was saying some pretty serious stuff about you and I-" jun dropped his pencil onto his desk and sighed loudly. he knew it was coming and yet now that it was here he still felt unprepared for joshua's question. the purple haired male was reminded of a past memory where he had told his middle school friends about his disease. all they had done is laugh at jun and then proceed to spread lies about how he was making it all up for pity. jun was way closer to those former middle school friends of his than joshua so what would the brunette have to say about his disease?

"you're right, it is none of your business." joshua frowned at the chinese male's lack of response. it didn't sound like jun at all. the monotone that he was using was nothing at all like the cheerful and bubbly tone that the purple haired male used at all times with practically everyone, even those that didn't like him. jun only grew to be more irritated by the second as he continued on to speaking to joshua in such a tone. "I don't go around picking in your personal business, I would expect the same decency from you."

"I'm sorry jun, I didn't know you were this sentimental about it." jun's mother had mentioned jun's disease briefly and now joshua was curious. the whole reason jun was upset by it was because he had been caught off-guard by it. he knew his mother tended to drag his disease into everything they did but he didn't expect her to just blab her mouth to joshua, especially since what happened the last time she did this. when mingyu had come over for dinner he expected for a nice night with the wen family not for his mom to just give away all his personal information to mingyu. now she had done the same with joshua and it just made his blood boil with hot red jets of fury. "can we just work? please? I really don't want to talk about this."

"I mean we obviously have to but if you ever want to talk about it I'm here." joshua offered a comforting smile to the chinese male and somehow it only irritated jun more. in his mind the only reason joshua was being nice was because he thought that the brunette was only doing so because he knew that jun was sick. now jun had no choice but to believe that everything joshua did for jun would be out of pity, there was no way the brunette would ever treat jun normally after receiving that information from his mother. nobody else before had ever stayed around too long after finding out about his disease, why would joshua? "I don't need you pretending like you care about me, I know you don't. just mind your own business joshua I don't want to talk about it!"

"I do care, well I'm not sure how much but I do care! we are-" jun laughed obnoxiously in a very sarcastic tone that made it obvious he was laughing like that on purpose. the sound of the laughter made joshua flinch with confusion. the purple haired male was really acting out of character and what was supposed to be a relaxing and fun day at jun's house turned into something more stressful and sorrowful for them both. "we're what, friends? don't make me laugh joshua. you've been itching to get rid of me from day one and now you want to act like a decent human being?"

"it's not like we're not friends dumbass and plus you can't just spend everyday with me and expect me to not care somewhat about you." a long pause of silence followed after joshua's angry rebuttal to jun's comment. it made the brunette question whether or not he was being too harsh on the purple haired male. just like how he had never seen jun exhibit anger before, he had never seen jun be so quiet before. it was eerily disturbing to joshua; he preferred jun to never shut up at all than to stay silent like this.

"if we're not going to talk about the project I think you should just leave." jun spoke coldly towards joshua. the brunette would have laughed at the irony of the situation if it didn't hurt him as much as it did. it was amazing how much his heart ached; joshua didn't know it was possible to feel such a pain again, was this what jun felt like when he used harsh words to speak to him? jun managed to keep a smile on his face even then though, so why was joshua finding it hard to keep something as insignificant as a straight face on?

and why was it so hard to just sit in silence like he had once hoped for in the past with jun now? had they really changed so much that joshua was now the one who ached for activity and noise where as jun was now cold and isolated? all the brunette knew was that the burdensome feeling in his chest that came with the rejection the chinese senior gave to him hurt and he didn't want to feel it anymore. joshua didn't have the same strength the purple haired male used to guard himself with, the kind that allowed him to smile when faced with negativity of any kind, so he responded to the pain the only way he knew how.

"I have to help my mom with something anyways junhui, I'll check up with you on the project later." joshua stood up from the desk they were both seated at, not even bothering to look at the purple haired latter. he couldn't bring himself to look into his eyes when all he felt like doing was sulking. his unspilled tears bottled up, making his eyes shine with a naturally sad gleam as he gathered his things together. joshua didn't even bother to look back when he left the room which meant he failed to see the sullen frown written all over jun's face.

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aaaa I'm sorry for the delay in updates, I just wanted to make sure I got the feelings in this chapter perfected. I'm still not sure they're written out to describe exactly how I envisioned the mood to be in this chapter but I didn't want to delay this update any longer.

I just hope I didn't confuse what the mood was here behind this chapter or why the mood exists, besides that have a good night everyone (it's like midnight where I live)!!