"I have not broken your heart - you have broken it; and in breaking it, you have broken mine."
-Wuthering Heights

I never had a moment of heart break for a relationship that was barely a month long. Am I stupid for even feeling this?

I didn't know the answer, but that's the point of life, it seems. To find your own answers or just accept life without one.

Why was I feeling like I'm letting something important go? Omera was very immature, and she didn't understand the value of life. She overreacts on the smallest things, starts fights instead of resolving a problem, disrespects others, and yet I still want her. Despite all of those things, she's still seems perfect.

I didn't have an explanation for this.

"What's gotten you jittery? Is it that girl of yours?" Phil questions as I angrily sit at the bar.

"She's not my girl." I argue as I grab ahold of his drink. It was a beer, why would Phil even order this?

"Hey, don't drink. You just overcame sickness." Phil snatches the glass away from me.

Something at camp must have gave me the flu, so I had stayed at Phil and I's apartment for two days. In that time I had told him exactly what happened at camp. Of course he had grown shocked and told me to immediately take Omera back despite the danger of getting caught. He said leaving her right after we had gotten intimate was a dick move but he didn't understand.

"What happened today?" Phil asks as he senses my growing frustration.

"It's that girl I told you about. I can't get her out of my head." I confess. Hopefully Phil would be able to help me, even if he can't it would help to just talk about it.

"What do you mean?"

"She's just...she overreacts, she's immature, she disrespects people she..." I trial off into a state of confusion.

"How does she overreact?" Phil asks quietly as the bartender slides some nachos in front of him.

"I was trying to tell her that it seems like she cares more about herself than me. She took it the wrong way, and she just wouldn't listen to me. She ran off and got so upset, I felt like I was at fault for telling her how I felt." I explain to him as he slowly eats a nacho, trying not to disturb me.

He swallows his food. "Well, her level of maturity has nothing to do with her age."

"I know that, Phil." I grab a nacho as well.

"Everyone overreacts sometimes, maybe that was a sensitive subject for her. She might have trouble with her parents not caring about her or something along the lines of that. Everyone has there negatives, Dan." Phil points out with a nod. "However, something in your cold black heart is telling you that there's something special about her." He points at my chest as he says so. "So you shouldn't let her go."

I take in his information. "It's wrong though. I'm disrupting her education Phil."

He considers this as he takes another sip of his beer. "When I was in high school I had a girlfriend named Charlotte for like two years." He randomly tells me.

"And?"

"I was a straight A student." He pats himself on the back with a smile. "Being in a relationship didn't disrupt that."

"I understand but I'm her teacher." I mutter quietly so no one would hear me. "If you were in a relationship with your teacher, you'd let your personal problems interfere with that goes on in class."

He takes in the information. "You don't know that for sure. Why not give it a try? Like a two week free trail?"

"This isn't an item to test out. This is serious." I try getting him back on track.

"That's why I'm suggesting it. Bring it up to her and if she agrees then it's a win." He shrugs again as he drinks more beer.

"That's a terrible idea. I just separated from her, I can't keep going back and forth." I look at him with confusion, but that's when I notice he had emptied about three glasses of beer before I came here. He must be a bit tipsy by now.

"Phil, are you okay?" I ask him. I had been too busy throwing my problems at him that I didn't realize that he's clearly distracted.

He sighs. "The competition is getting too rough. It's getting too much, I think my restaurant is going to get shut down." He looks down at his drink, swirling the straw around.

"Oh my god. I'm sorry, Phil." I apologize for what's going on and also for not being there for him.

"No, it's fine. I was pretty stupid for even believing I could have a restaurant." He states sadly as he tries not getting emotional.

I remember the day Phil had gotten his restaurant. After years of dreaming of it, he had finally met all the qualifications and used his savings to open up Whatever, Wherever! I was his first costumer, he was so excited for me to try his pasta and homemade milkshake. The combination wasn't the best but the look on his face made up for it. 

Seeing him so depressed and drinking away the disappointment he felt made me hurt for him.

"Phil, don't think like that. If you lose your hope, you lose everything." I advise as I put a hand on his back for comfort.

"My restaurant is hopeless, who wants tacos and sushi on the same menu anyways? It's stupid." He shakes his head.

"I love how random your menu is. There's more options. Phil, just try adding something new." I suggest but he shakes his head. "Phil..."

"Bring your girl around on Saturday, we're having a closing buffet." He says as he grabs another nacho.

"Phil, you can't close it down. It was your dream." I shake my head.

"Well, not all dreams succeed. Anyways, I'm looking forward to meeting this girl." He changes the subject slightly.

"I can't bring her." I sigh. We aren't on good terms and plus the school would probably hang her if they found out she left campus.

"Come on, Dan." He pesters me. "I want to see the girl who's driving you mad."

"She's not driving me mad." I disagree.

"Just bring her around. I want your relationship to distract me from my failure." He states with a tone of fake happiness.

"Phil, stop saying that." I shove him slightly as I take a nacho.

"Beer tastes really bad. I hate it." Phil says as he continues to drink his own beer through a straw.

"Why are you drinking it then?"

"It tastes like life. I hate life but I'm still living it, aren't I?" He point as with a chuckle.

"At least we have these nachos." I point out, ignoring his negativity. I have never seen him like this before.

"Yes, at least we have those."

--

A/N:

99.9998% edited

There we go! Back on track. This book is going to end up having like a hundred chapters because there is so much that needs to be done, and my original plan of fifty is out the door. I've never passed fifty chapters before on a book? Hopefully this goes well.

I know I'll read this book and cringe one day, as always. However, it's a part of life, and it isn't important because I'm such a tiny part in this universe that it won't matter what I do when I die.

P.S- Bernie Sanders was in Queens New York? In my home? My...nest? Oh my god. My granddaddy has blessed the land.