It's worth it
It's divine.

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CHAPTER ONE: DAYS GONE BY

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THE EARLY MORNING sunlight poured through my windows in the most radiant way possible. Sunlight. That's what reminded me of him. Sunlight. Before getting ahead of myself—Let me introduce myself. My name is Billie Romanoff, and I was a special agent serving S.H.I.E.L.D. Before, the whole disbanding and falling apart. I was trained by the best—I was supposed to be the best. Things took a turn for the worst when I met him. James Buchanan Barnes. Bucky. My sunlight. The days never feel the same anymore without him.

Let's go back to the beginning.

Before the days gone by.

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"Got an eye on the target, Mamba?"

My eyes narrowed, just as I sipped from my Champaign glass. "Target within sight, I'm closing in." I purred softly through my earpiece. Poised. I was supposed to be acting high class, amongst this group of people. A simple grab and go mission.

I stepped forward, my gloved hand setting the now empty glass on a try that a server walked by with. I sauntered my way in over to the target. He was an older man, with rather young women around him. Perfect for blending in. With a simple, 'excuse me', I ushered one of the women away and stood in front of him.

He raised an eyebrow, eyeing me down. I had gotten plentiful stares that night. Mostly by men, as my dress was nothing short of revealing. He whispered to one of the women, and she looked at me, then left.

"How can I help you, miss...?" He awaited my answer, taking my hand in his.

"Amelia." I cooed softly, watching as this man raised my hand to his lips, and pressed a kiss to my knuckles. "Amelia Kane."

"Well, Miss Amelia Kane..." His lips twisted into a sickening smirk. "You've caught my attention..."

"Not yet, I haven't." I hummed, turning my hand over. "How about we talk in private, Mr. Jones?"

He furrowed his eyebrows, "how did you—"

"You're the talk of the party." A wicked save, I might say. "It would be a crime to not know your name."

"Nicely done." Nick Fury's voice boomed through my earpiece.

I took hold of the man's arm as he stood. He was a rather confident man, obviously expecting some 'compensation' for taking his time. If he knew what my true intentions were, he wouldn't have dared lay his eyes on me. His hand found the small of my back and he guided me through the heavy crowds.

I could feel the stares of envy from other women, though, couldn't bring myself to give them anything but a solemn grin.  Step after step, the crowd died out slowly. He certainly was an optimistic man. He opened the door to a secluded room. It looked like an office of some sorts.

As soon as I stepped in and he followed behind me, he used my shoulder to turn me around. I had to mask my disgust when his hands found my hips and my back found its place against the wall behind us. I raised my hands to rest on his shoulders, pulling him closer to me. Things felt like they moved in slow motion at this point.

His lips collided with mine, and his hands slowly trailed down my hip, sliding down to my thigh in an attempt to hoist me up. I raised my leg, but definitely not in the way he was expecting. My leg wrapped around his waist and I threw myself forward, forcing the kiss to break apart. He stumbled back and we both fell to the ground. With one swift twist of my legs, he flipped over onto his stomach and I moved to kneel on his back.

"My my, Mr. Jones..." My voice came out smooth, like a poison, "you've got something I want..."

The man hissed when I kneeled down harder onto his back.

"You crazy bi—"

I slammed my knee down onto his back, causing him to let out a loud cry of pain. "Just give me the hard drive, and I'll let you leave with your life. Sound fair, Mr.Jones?"

"You aren't getting shit from me." He snapped.

My lips pursed. "I figured you'd want to do this the hard way."

The more he thrashed, the more I kneeled, until I heard a small 'pop'. "You should know better..." I hummed, gripping the man by his hair and forcing his head back. Before he could say anything, I slammed a needle into the side of his neck, pushing the sedation fluids in, and within a few seconds, he dropped motionless. Some would think me cruel. To kill a man while he's sedated or asleep.

But you forget. When a Black Mamba strikes...They're striking to kill.

I reached my hand into his pocket and dug around until I felt—Bingo. The hard drive. I tucked it into my bra and moved to stand up. I tapped on my ear piece, looking around the secluded area.

"I've got the hard drive. Heading back to the drop off po—"

BANG

The door was suddenly kicked open. I pulled my gun from its hidden holster, but it was quickly knocked out of my hand. I turned my head only to be met with a rough punch in the face, followed by a searing pain in my head. My hair was being gripped onto, and I hissed. I let out a hard cry when my head was jerked back. When I finally peered my eyes back open, I was met with a startling man. The man I'd only ever see reports about—the man we thought died back in Russia.

The Winter Soldier.

"Shit..." I breathed shakily.

"Billie—Billie! Get out of there!"

The soldier tilted his head, narrowing his eyes. I swallowed away my fear and gripped onto his—metal?—arm, in an attempt to ease the pain. It only made him grip tighter onto my hair. He looked down at my hand that held the hard drive, and then back up at me. Without a moment to spare, he gripped my wrist with his free hand. I jerked myself back. From there, it was a fight. I slammed my forehead against his, and he loosened his grip on my hair. With a swift movement, he moved his metal arm to grip onto the back of my neck.

He slammed me up against a glass window in the room, my face roughly pressed against the glass surface. He reeled me back, and I could already tell what was going to happen next.

SLAM!!!

The glass cracked, as did my nose.

"Billie?! Billie! Are you there?!"

He reeled me back again, slamming my face against the glass a second time. My lip split, and the cracking glass scraped my forehead. All this for a hard drive? No, this seemed rather personal. I gasped in a breath, my nose pouring blood. At that point, I dropped the hard drive, but that didn't deter him from me. We were on the fifth floor. I knew what was coming next. He reeled my head further back than before.

SLAM!!!

That was it. My body felt weightless. The cold air bit and scratched my skin as I flailed my arms and legs. I couldn't even scream. Before I knew it, I had landed on the cold concrete floor, my eyes wide open, staring up at the soldier who was standing in front of the broken window, looking down at me... taunting me.

He picked up the hard drive, and gave me one last glance before he stepped away. People began to crowd around me, and all I could do was stare. Stare at the window I fell from. It wasn't long before everything went numb. I couldn't feel a thing anymore. I couldn't hear a thing anymore.

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"Do you feel as though he was taunting you?"

I couldn't answer that. When I didn't respond, Nadia tilted her head. I wrinkled my nose and brushed a hand through my hair.

"Billie?" She called. Her voice was soft, and delicate. Trying to approach me safely, I assumed.

"Yes." I answered, "I don't know, it was just...those eyes."

Nadia furrowed her eyebrows, and I almost wanted to wince at the sound of her clicking her pen and grabbing her notebook. She was writing something down. She often did during our sessions. I hated it. Sometimes it felt like she was just writing about how crazy I am. With another soft click, she set the pen aside.

"When SHIELD disbanded, where did that leave you?" She asked, her tone hesitant. She was afraid of the answer I was going to give. Almost like she knew what it would be.

This time, I couldn't stop the grin growing on my lips. "Looking for him..."

"And why is that, Billie?"

"...Because.." I looked up, some of my hair draping into my face. "I needed to see those eyes again..."

There it was. The silence. The aching, burning silence. Like she was silently judging me for my words. She slowly set her notebook aside, and clasped her hands together. She gave a soft hum. I learned that she would always hum when she was thinking of a reasonable answer or response. She was tough with her patients, always knocking them back to reality, back to the real world where no one wanted to be. I raised my head, a small smile stuck to my lips when I made eye contact with her.

"Are you sure that was your only reason for tracking him down?"

I sucked my teeth, rather irritated. "If you're looking for some deeper meaning to it—"

"There is a deeper meaning to this." Nadia quickly interrupted me. Like I said, she was a no nonsense woman. she didn't tolerate blatant lies in her office. "You've almost been killed multiple times, by multiple people, Billie. What makes this man so different from the others?"

What makes him so different from the others? What a question. I had an answer, an immediate one. I'm just not sure if she's like to hear those words. Nonetheless, I leaned back into my chair, eyeing down the woman. She never felt small under my gaze, never discriminated anything I had done or said. I couldn't bring myself to answer. My mouth opened, I tried to speak, but no words would come out.

"Billie, I can't help you, if you can't answer me." She said.

Yet again, I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing would come out. Deep breaths, Billie... Deep breaths. I nodded slowly, and finally met her gaze again.

"I wasn't in love with the others who tried to kill me, Doc."

Her eyes widened. Something I hadn't seen her do at all. Not for any of my sessions. She gave me one hell of a hefty stare, her brown eyes staring deep into mine. She swallowed. I could tell she was worried. It's not everyday you tell someone you're in love with the man who pushed you out from a five story building. But that only scratched the surface of what was really happening.

"..." She had no words for a moment. It seemed like she was thinking of how to approach this. "Tell me why..."

Why?
Why?

She wanted to know why. Why my heart decided to devote itself to him. Or maybe, she wanted to know why it was love rather than hate I felt for him. I adjusted in my seat yet again, tilting my head. Nadia didn't seem phased with my movements. she kept her eyes on me, no matter what. I raised my thumb to my lips and began chewing on my nail.

"I hope you've got the time to spare, Doc..." I muttered softly, moving my hand away and patting on the seat a bit. Trying to get myself more comfortable. "It's a long story."

She took a quick glance at her watch, and then relaxed back into her seat. "I've got time.."

Foolish answer...

"I've been counting..." I began, looking down at my hands for just a moment. They were littered with a few scars.

"Counting?"

I nodded.

"Counting what, exactly?"

My lips curled, and my eyes found hers again.

"The days that gone by."

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Nadia Koval belongs to: sabrinazslvt