Hi,

I was wondering if I could use olive oil in lieu of lube?

Eager to Find Out

Hey, Eager to Find Out,

While olive oil is inexpensive and safe for 'eating' (ha ha), it could break the latex in condom (if you wear one 😈) and probably gives you a breakout if you're allergic to it (or worse, STD).

But, if you want to get adventurous and started to get handsy and practice outdoor sex and you ain't bring no condom, well, olive oil it is, since desperate times equal desperate measures. Just make sure to wash it all properly or it will definitely stain your clothes and everything (definitely NOT speaking from own experience).

Remember kids, always bring condoms everywhere in case this shit happens to you!

You may find the best condoms here in this q, and if you click on that and buy in bulks, you will help the unfortunate kids - whose parents forgot to buy condoms before they're doing the hanky panky - to live in a better environment.

Not a fan of olive oil but that'll do.

Use condoms, produce less kids,

AJ

Shen Qingqiu was eyeing Luo Binghe while the latter was preparing their feast of cold cuts, cheese, bread, olive oil, artichoke, olives and sundried tomatoes. He also prepared wine and champagne, complete with the flutes. There were also strawberries and chocolate and a few desserts.

Then he opened the white wine and poured it onto the flute, and gave it to Shen Qingqiu - who was grateful since his nerves were all on fire.

"I'm impressed." Shen Qingqiu drank the wine greedily. He needed some liquid courage for what he had done... and for what he was about to do next. "You know your alcohol."

"Eh, my knowledge is not that impressive compared to my cousins." Luo Binghe poured himself a full glass of wine and drank it. "In a way, I'm not as sophisticated as them. They were raised in a proper household with proper parents, while mine... well, let's just say that without the interference of Wangji's mother, I might have ended up on the street selling my body. And not in a good way."

Shen Qingqiu was very surprised. He thought that Luo Binghe was just another spoiled rich brat who got whatever he wanted, and yet here he was, baring his soul like that to a practically stranger.

"I thought that you were growing up privileged as a rich chaebol, Binghe." He looked at the man in front of him with a new light. "That was... unexpected."

"Right? Thanks to Wangji and Huahua, they taught me all about manners and everything, although sometimes I forgot about it and... well, I'm sorry if I was coming on too strong when we first met. It was like a lightning strike and there you were, the most beautiful person I have ever seen." Luo Binghe smiled in a dreamy way that caused Shen Qingqiu to wonder if this man was not right in the head, because he remembered that their first meeting was when he was just out of the kitchen, all sweaty and rumpled since he didn't sleep for two days working to make it out on the due date on the bulk order of the pastries.

He walked out to get some fresh air when Luo Binghe entered the bar from the other side and they bumped into each other and it caused Shen Qingqiu to lose his balance. But just like in his movie, Luo Binghe quickly grabbed his waist and hoisted him up, saving him from the pavement like a prince sweeping up the damsel in distress and saved the day.

If the damsel was more like Cinderella on her bad day instead of a beautiful dolled-up princess on her way to a party.

Shen Qingqiu knew that he was quite good looking - in a tsundere way. That meant that he was not going to give his smile to anyone, but only to the ones who had a close relationship with him, such as his brothers.

"But I remember that I looked like shit that day you bumped into me, why on earth would you think that I was the most beautiful thing you've ever seen?" Shen Qingqiu frowned. He started to doubt this man's sanity after the nonsense he spouted.

"That was not the first time I saw you, Shizun." Suddenly Luo Binghe became sheepish and Shen Qingqiu raised his brow in question. "We have met a long time ago, you... probably didn't remember..." He hesitated for a second then he seemed to make up his mind. "When I was fifteen, I was still living on the street and I was also bullied by the older kids. Then one day when the bullying got bad, someone came and kicked their asses, and then bought me food and drink. I remember clearly because that was the day before Pandora - Wangji's mother - came and took me away from my parents."

Shen Qingqiu still did not understand the significance of Luo Binghe's story, or why did he even tell him that.

"Okay, I'm sorry to hear that. Or not. Since apparently you were saved by Lan Wangji's mother, who obviously very rich. I don't get it though, why are you telling me this? I mean, sure it's okay if you want to vent, but..."

"Because you're the one who saved me, Shizun, didn't you remember? You kicked my bullies' asses and told me to call you Shizun and promised to teach me some kick ass move so that no one would bully me again. And when I couldn't find you, I swore that I would be stronger to be the one to protect you next time." Luo Binghe looked so resolute and it was very attractive. He moved closer to Shen Qingqiu and touched his hand softly. "I promise I will protect you from harm, Shizun, for the rest of my life."

It took Shen Qingqiu a few extra beat to comprehend what Luo Binghe just said, and yeah, he had no recollection whatsoever about what happened. But he was quite sure that the event had probably happened, since he and Wei Wuxian were involved in fights all the time, while Xie Lian use his wit to escape the situation.

But to take the words of a little boy - he was sure he was still a little boy at that time since their age was not that far apart - and hold on to the promise up until now, that took some determination. And Luo Binghe was nothing but determined to get the attention of his savior.

"How old are you?" Shen Qingqiu asked Luo Binghe. He was curious because Luo Binghe looked older than him. In fact, he was sure that the man was approaching thirty.

"I'm twenty six. I'm the youngest, while Wangji is the oldest at twenty eight and Huahua is twenty seven." Luo Binghe looked shy. "I know I look older than my age, because all that sun and makeup and the strain from acting and not sleeping for days. God I live such a shitty life." He groaned and suddenly Shen Qingqiu laughed.

"Jesus, Binghe, here I thought that you're older than me, and I want to kick your ass for bullying your junior. Turns out you're much younger." Shen Qingqiu couldn't help but laugh at the irony. This man was just a baby, no wonder he acted like a kid. "I'm almost thirty one, that means I'm five years older than you."

"I don't care." Luo Binghe pouted. "You are the only one I want to protect for the rest of my life. Even though you... don't want me." He suddenly looked so sad like a puppy and Shen Qingqiu couldn't help but feel something shifted within him.

"Okay then."

Shen Qingqiu continued to drink the excellent wine, while observing the man in front of him.

His perfect body was straining his t-shirt, and even though they were under the dim light of the stars, Shen Qingqiu could see the well defined muscles under it all.

He wondered how it felt when out of the blue, his hands moved by themselves and pulled Luo Binghe closer before he pushed him down on the thick blanket.

The act caused Luo Binghe to widen his eyes in surprise, but he didn't dare to breathe - afraid that his beautiful Shizun would change his mind from doing... whatever it was he wanted to do to him.

"So, Binghe, a little bit out of context here, but what do you think about using olive oil as lube?"