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that friday there was some sort of spark to the morning, a change that ignited and led to the rest of the day turning out the way destiny had already determined. jungkook wouldn't have a  clue what that was, and he didn't mind, because for once he was taking matters into his own hands and ignoring the bite of logic screaming at him.

it was the first time he called out of work, and it being last minute at that. today he didn't want to go in a pretend like he was in a good mood again, he didn't want to smile at customers and tell them to have a nice day when his was sucky. yes that was selfish and he was very aware.

it was friday, jungkook kept repeating that to himself over and over again. he was going to do it. he was going to go to a party on his own, and have a good time, on his own. maybe he'd make a few friends or so. the thought of the possibility made him feel a little better.

his room was a mess once again as he searched for an outfit all day, something that didn't scream 'jungkook' so all his sweaters and pastels were out of the question.

jungkook huffed and leaned against his bed as he glanced at all the fabrics and still came up with nothing. the thought of just giving up and not going started to creep into his mind, until a certain article of clothing catching his attention and testing how far he'd go.

the last two miserable nights was all he needed to grab a pair of ripped jeans and that one article before going into the bathroom and changing.

it was kind of working for him. jungkook had sat on the floor and ripped his jeans up a bit more to show more skin, and more of the fishnets he put on underneath from the time hoseok made him wear them. he thought those were a bit much so he picked out a simple black t-shirt and wore that with his slip on vans.

a few hours had passed when he tried to find an outfit, it may have been 4 pm now and that gave him enough time to put some makeup on and then walk into the city to find a party. he wasn't exactly sure where to go, but he thinks he remembers where he had to go find hoseok one time.

the nerves didn't start to set in until he was done putting on eyeliner and mascara, stepping back to look at his reflection and noticing the darker look he was going for. jungkook grimaced a little, and dug through the bathroom drawer to find some lip gloss to soften the look a little. the gloss smelled like cherries and had little sparkles in it.

jungkook grabbed his phone off the charger and checked the time, 6:04 pm, there was no way hoseok would be home still. he still tiptoed down the hall and all the way down the stairs, not fastening his pace until he was down the sidewalk and around the corner, walking further into the city and seeing more neon lights and younger people ready for a night out.

"what the hell are you doing kook." jungkook muttered to himself, bouncing a bit on his feet as he waited to cross the busy street. he had already spent the whole day getting ready and missed out on a paycheck to do this so there was no way he was going back home.

that's exactly what he repeated to himself as he noticed a bunch of teens and young adults disappearing into an apartment building, the music and smell of cigarettes a giveaway to the party going on upstairs.

i guess i just walk in. jungkook thought. maybe the key was to just pretend like he knew what he was doing.

so that's exactly what he did.

following the few bodies up the stairs after the smell of alcohol and bass of the music throughout the halls. it must have been the whole hallway that was partying, the apartment doors open and people going from one to the other dancing to different songs or just making out in the hallway. there were colored lights making everything look disorienting and seem like they were all inside a kaleidoscope.

jungkook walked into the first apartment and looked around at the smiling people, some racing to chug some drinks while others screamed lyrics and some danced together very intimately.

"you want a drink?" someone nudged jungkooks shoulder and held up a red plastic cup with a clear liquid sloshing around inside.

"uh," jungkook started to say, biting back the nerves and nodding, "sure, thanks."

the guy grinned and handed the cup over, stepping closer to him to shout over the music, "how come i haven't seen you around?"

jungkook was going to think of an excuse, not lamely admit it was his first party, but instead was cut off by someone he didn't expect to see. "you're first mistake was taking a drink from a stranger." he said, grabbing the cup from jungkook and dropping it in the trash, "the second mistake was letting this crackhead too close, get lost minjun."

the new guy was familiar, and maybe without all the lights and loud noises throwing off his senses, jungkook would have noticed him as one of taehyungs gym buddies sooner. "changmin right?" jungkook said.

"and you're jungkook." changmin grinned, earning a smile from the younger who nodded, "come on, let's get you your own drink."

the younger boy followed the taller one to the back of the apartment where a bunch of coolers were pushed against the wall. changmin opened two and dug around a bit to reach the cold ones at the bottom, "soda or beer?"

jungkook didn't want to come to his first party and start it off with a soda, but he wasn't sure if he liked beer anyways. "hm, i'll take this one." he said, reaching in and grabbing one with an orange on the front. maybe the flavor would help it go down better.

"good choice." changmin said, "so i'm assuming taehyung must be close by, he wouldn't let you out alone looking like that." his eyes danced down jungkooks body who shifted uncomfortably for a moment.

this guy helped him though, he must be safe to hang around for one night. "no, i came here by myself." jungkook said, ignoring the twist of his stomach at the mention of the handsome brunette.

changmin seemed more interested now, taking a step closer and leaning down towards jungkooks ear so he could hear him better. "i'm sure he wouldn't mind if we danced a little then?"

jungkook shrugged, still not feeling the most comfortable standing there with the stupid beer in his hands and his guy breathing down his neck. "i don't know, maybe a little later." he said, stepping a bit away but still feeling the presence of the older come closer.

"come on, i love this song, it'll be fun." changmin insisted, touching jungkooks hip and feeling his warm skin against his palm.

that was enough for him jumping back and dropping the beer, his heart beating faster as he shook his head. "no i said i don't want to."

"jungkook-"

"dude he said no." a boy with bright orange hair interrupted. he looked unamused and bored to be there, maybe jungkook looked the same, if he didn't feel so panicked right now. "and move, i want a beer."

changmin mumbled something and kicked the cooler closer to the shorter boy with orange hair. he yanked open the lid and pulled out a beer, glancing over and making eye contact with jungkook before popping open the tab and taking a swift sip. "you're like fresh meat standing there like that in front of these wolves, you should go home bambi." he said before turning and pushing past dancing bodies and disappearing like all of jungkooks confidence when he arrived at this party.

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